'Reins' for a toddler 'cruel' ????!!!

[smokey]

Thing is its all well and good saying to cut that behavour out of them or to teach them not to run off but that isnt a instant thing to teach them, it takes time and patiance to teach them and it only takes a split second for somthing to go wrong in that time.
Is it really worth taking that risk while your teaching them about safety.
A split second could get a child killed so i just dont understand why anyone would be against takeing a precaution (deciding not to use them isnt the same as beimg against them)
Would so many people be against using armbands in a swimming pool before they learn to swim? Its the same thing to me, a aid to help them while teaching them.

 

[sequeena]

Thing is its all well and good saying to cut that behavour out of them or to teach them not to run off but that isnt a instant thing to teach them, it takes time and patiance to teach them and it only takes a split second for somthing to go wrong in that time.
Is it really worth taking that risk while your teaching them about safety.
A split second could get a child killed so i just dont understand why anyone would be against takeing a precaution (deciding not to use them isnt the same as beimg against them)
Would so many people be against using armbands in a swimming pool before they learn to swim? Its the same thing to me, a aid to help them while teaching them.

Agreed.

 

[Foogirl]

I think it's one thing to say "I personally don't like reins and won't use them" and "i'm against reins" The first indicates a personal preference. The second is a judgement on people who use them. That might not be the intention behind the words but it is the meaning conveyed nonetheless.

I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the Bull Mastiff in backpack reins!

And, we keep comparing children's reins to dogs leads. Surely a more correct comparison would be to a horse - those are the animal we use reins on....

 

[Abigailly]

I think it's one thing to say "I personally don't like reins and won't use them" and "i'm against reins" The first indicates a personal preference. The second is a judgement on people who use them. That might not be the intention behind the words but it is the meaning conveyed nonetheless.

I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the Bull Mastiff in backpack reins!

And, we keep comparing children's reins to dogs leads. Surely a more correct comparison would be to a horse - those are the animal we use reins on....

Just because I'm against reigns doesn't mean I have an issue with other people using them? Nor does it mean I'm 'judging' someone for using them. Saying that I'm against them is me saying that I don't like them. Therefore would not use them unless I deemed necessary.
I'm against Independence, but that doesn't mean that I don't understand people's reasoning behind supporting it?

Being against something doesn't make you judgmental of the opposing argument.

 

[Foogirl]

No, saying you are against them is saying that you don't think they should be used by anyone. As I said, that might not be your intention but it is the meaning conveyed.

Using your analogy, saying you are against independence, means you don't personally want it but if everyone else votes for it, you'll be fine with that.......

 

[Abigailly]

Thing is its all well and good saying to cut that behavour out of them or to teach them not to run off but that isnt a instant thing to teach them, it takes time and patiance to teach them and it only takes a split second for somthing to go wrong in that time.
Is it really worth taking that risk while your teaching them about safety.
A split second could get a child killed so i just dont understand why anyone would be against takeing a precaution (deciding not to use them isnt the same as beimg against them)
Would so many people be against using armbands in a swimming pool before they learn to swim? Its the same thing to me, a aid to help them while teaching them.

Yes, I used a floating aid for Niamh. But she would never be able to swim a whole length independently as she can now if I'd never have given her the chance to learn. But I was always there, with my hands under her just in case she panicked or lost concentration.

Just as with reins. Just because she wasn't wearing a restraint doesn't mean that she ever got near a road without me. It can be a split second. But because she's my first I could devote all my attention to her.
I may have to use them in the future. Which is why I never said I'm 'against' them.

 

[Foogirl]

I'd also love to know what the difference is between "lightly holding the hood" (presumably of a jacked) and using a pair of reins. Surely it is still restraining the child.

 

[Abigailly]

I'd also love to know what the difference is between "lightly holding the hood" (presumably of a jacked) and using a pair of reins. Surely it is still restraining the child.

I mean that when we're crossing a road and she's pushing her buggy or something I hover my hand over the back of her so if she's distracted by anything or something falls out her buggy I can take control of the situation in a split second, without her being able to dart back onto the road.

ETA And there is no difference. Both are to restrain them in moments in need.

 

[smokey]

I think it's one thing to say "I personally don't like reins and won't use them" and "i'm against reins" The first indicates a personal preference. The second is a judgement on people who use them. That might not be the intention behind the words but it is the meaning conveyed nonetheless.

I'm definitely looking forward to seeing the Bull Mastiff in backpack reins!

And, we keep comparing children's reins to dogs leads. Surely a more correct comparison would be to a horse - those are the animal we use reins on....

Yeah but iv noticed even more judgmental looks when your riding on your kids back around the shops
Now what i want is one of those retractable leads for when he gets too far ahead, weeeeee

 

[smokey]

I'd also love to know what the difference is between "lightly holding the hood" (presumably of a jacked) and using a pair of reins. Surely it is still restraining the child.

And risking choking them, learnt that one the hard way, he yanked his hand out of mine and ran towards the river (the path is only a few feet wide and we have ti walk it daily) the only thing i could grab for quick enough was his jumper hood and nearly choked him.

 

[tommyg]

Anybody else have the issue of LO wanting to hold their own reins??? "my turn"

 

[kimberleyrobx]

Reins are not cruel! Reins were very important to me when out with Emily! Without them, I feared that she would run onto the road and it would be fault if she ever 'slipped' her hand away from mine! Reins are crucial to me, to me it's like driving without a seat belt on! Dangerous! Although Emily has the cutest bag back reins, everyone's always cooing over them! IMO reins are an essential to me xx

 

[emzul]

People are idiots. How can they be cruel when they can potentially prevent a child rushing into the road and being mown down??

Why cant people (ESPECIALLY strangers) keep their thoughts to themselves? LOL

 

[Foogirl]

And risking choking them, learnt that one the hard way, he yanked his hand out of mine and ran towards the river (the path is only a few feet wide and we have ti walk it daily) the only thing i could grab for quick enough was his jumper hood and nearly choked him.

Ouch! That doesn't sound good. I've done similar when Abby's legs have given way, but she just fell out of the jacket and on the floor anyway. Thankfully she wasn't hurt!

Yeah but iv noticed even more judgmental looks when your riding on your kids back around the shops
Now what i want is one of those retractable leads for when he gets too far ahead, weeeeee

And even more judgemental when it is a 3 year old in a buggy Why can't people just let people be!

Anybody else have the issue of LO wanting to hold their own reins??? "my turn"

Lol, we get Abby wanting to push her own wheelchair. A real challenge that one!

 

[amygwen]

I don't think they are cruel at all. We personally don't use them, although there are plenty of times and instances where I would love to have them, i.e. in amusement parks, walks near busy streets, etc etc.. I would prefer getting dirty looks from other people (who are likely not parents or parents of children who don't walk yet) then having my child get lost or hit by a car.

Most people who think they are cruel are really old people who have no filter about anything anyways, people who don't have children, or people who do have children but their children aren't old enough to walk yet. LOL!

 

[maisiemoo]

Whilst I always encouraged freedom walking when my daughter was young, teaching road safety etc in some children the impulse is too strong. I have an adventurer and explorer, and even now the impulse gets the better of her. The back pack reigns were an absolute god send, now she rides a scooter and 99% she's fine, for the occasional 1% I'm that bellowing mother, running down the road (with an almighty bump I hasten to add) trying to regain control of my out of control monkey - imagine the judgements that come from that scene!

 

[mrsdean2009]

They are not cruel in the slightest, far from it! If you feel your child needs reins to help with learning how to be safe whilst walking or for whatever reason then go for it. At the end of the day they are your child and therefore what you choose to do for them and to keep them safe is your right and responsibility.

I have used them on occasions but never really had to much with Ava. I was very adamant that if she wanted to walk she held hands with me or another adult. If she refused she was immediately picked up or put in her buggy. She soon learned if she was to walk she held my hand.

Do whatever you feel is best for your LO and down worry about anyone judging you x

 

[fluffpuffin]

I think they're great for keeping toddlers safe by the road or in busy places to stop them running off into danger. They saved me a lot of stress as Isla was a terrible one for darting off.

One thing I do dislike though is when they're used as a walking aid for toddlers that only just start walking. FIL kept trying to put them on Isla in the garden to try and would then yank her back up with the reins when she was falling. Toddlers need to learn how to fall safely so reins aren't meant for this purpose and also it just looks horrible and uncomfortable when they're yanked about by reins or held upright by them.

 

[tommyg]

Even if they are used to help safe a tot from falling its better than their arm being yanked, that has been known to dislocate joints.

 

[fluffpuffin]

oh not at is not good either. But I just let her walk freely without hand holding in a safe environment. when she fell she would just get back up. There was never any need to 'stop her from falling' when it's only soft grass in the garden or park. or you can just gently let go so the toddler gently lands on their bum. no need to yank them upright by hand or reins.