Scared sh*tless ='[

[Little_Nugget]

I'm freaking out. I've had such a rubbish time with pregnancy. People say if you've had one preemie you're more likely to have another. I've had a baby boy at 25 weeks, a baby girl at 30 weeks and another baby boy at 23+6. I'm absolutely terrified. My 25 and 30 week babies were both stillborn - no reasons given. My second little boy was alive and later died in nicu.

I'm convinced that this lo will be born at 22 weeks and I know what the outcome will be.
I've been tested for clotting disorders which came back negative. Been tested regularly for infections which have also been negative until last week when I came up positive for bacterial vaginosis of all things (it causes prem birth or perm rupture of membranes if left). I had my cervix checked with my 23+6 weeker and they came to the conclusion that I DON'T have an incompetent cervix.

This time round I was put on 75mg of aspirin, fragmin injections and cyclogest pessaries. I ended up being allergic to the fragmin so they switched it to clexane. Ended up being allergic to that too. My consultant says there is no other anti coagulant available so I'm now just on the aspirin. The cyclogest (progesterone) was stopped at 16 weeks cos it has done it's job.

Anyway I just can't shake my fears. I just know in my gut that things will be ok, going as they should till I reach 21 weeks then everything will turn to crap. The statistics of me having another preemie are just too high.

I've had a course of metronidazole for the bv and then my consultants given me clindamycin cream which is revolting and has made my discharge even worse (sorry tmi).

I can't go through another loss. It's quite likely to take me out too. I can handle another preemie but everyone keeps telling me I have to get to at least 29 weeks or the survival rate is terrible.

I guess I'm just looking for support and advice from others that have had their babies so early.

 

[EmSmith1980]

I'm so so sorry for you're losses. I cannot even begin to imagine what you have been through or what you are still going through.

I had a preemie at 23+6 after 3 full termers. She's 10 months now and doing amazingly well. We were given around a 15% chance of survival. We spent 20 weeks in the neonatal unit which was hard going, but worth every second.

I hope you're baby stays put for as long as possible. Miracles do happen.

Huge hugs. xxxxx

 

[whistle]

My God, you've been through more than almost anyone could cope with. I don't want to say that you're 'brave', because you never chose to have to cope with all this, but I really feel for you and what you and your 3 babies have been through. I have no advice, but I didn't want to read and run. I would ask your consultant or midwife if there's any way you can further discuss what went wrong in your first 3 pregnancies, so that you have more of an insight into what happened, and definitely, definitely voice any concerns, even if they are just hunches, for the sake of you and bubba. I really wish you a healthy and happy rest of your pregnancy, and the best of luck to your youngest LO. Please keep us posted with how everything goes.

 

[Little_Nugget]

Thanks ladies. I don't know what I'm having yet but I'm praying for a girl as all the doctors said last time in the nicu that girls statistically do a lot better than boys regardless of how early they are.

Sigh. Just wish I knew exactly what the reasons have been cos I'm just in limbo and the doctors only seem to be trying things and hoping for the best.

 

[Starchase]

Hey honey

Sending you massive hugs of support, I don't have any experience of teeny tiny prems as my DS was 34wker but didn't want to just read and run,.. My mum's god daughter was born at 26weeks though and she is now 16 and just aced all of her exams,

All the best for the future
Xxxx

 

[AP]

you are a remarkably strong lady

I noticed you said you've come off the cyclogest, but some of us have had success with it starting from 22weeks onwards? Perhaps you could ask someone about this, it's part of the OPPTIMUM trial in the UK, where they use progesterone therapy until 34 weeks. I'd be happy to help you get more info, I participated after my 27 weeker and got to term. I can't say if it helped, but it was extra appointments which equalled more care in my eyes.

I also have a personal friend who has experienced very similar losses to yours, after 3 losses and a stillborn, she's just had her baby boy at full term. So a positive story there.

The 'good' week was 27 weeks, my neonatal used to say.

I just want to say we really can support you here, and you are very much welcome.

 

[Little_Nugget]

Atomic pink do you know what your friend did differently this time around? Was she on a certain set of medication? I hate using the cyclogest cos it gives me thrush which causes it's own set of problems but if it works at keeping lo in for as long as possible then I'll do it. I'm worried about the lack of injections now. If I didn't need them I figure I wouldn't have been put on them to begin with. Finding out I was allergic was like a slap in the face. I've read up about a drug called Danaparoid which is given to pregnant ladies instead of heparin if they turn out to be allergic but when I mentioned it to my consultant she just said no and that aspirin would be ok.

I bought a doppler but I'm kind of thinking what's the point in using it cos things have always been ok up to a certain point then they go pants so having the doppler won't make any difference.

If I can get past 27 weeks I'll relax cos atm I'm convinced I've got a maximum of 6/7 weeks left =[

Thanks for the replies ladies. I only realised there was a section for preemies this morning so I'm relieved I've got somewhere to talk where people understand me.

 

[AP]

I will ask my friend little_nugget. Not quite 100% on the details.

I hated the cyclogest too hun, and I know what you mean. Is there anyone else you can sit and explain everything to, like another consultant. It's all very well them saying no but if there's no risk then what's the harm in prescribing it ykwim? Perhaps you could print off some good sites you researched and provide him/her with the evidence? Shout loud enough and you can be heard Hun

 

[whistle]

You may already know, but there are also forums on bnb for pregnancy after a loss and for loss support. x

 

[bob2331]

First off, i am so so sorry to hear about your losses, i wish i could say more but i know first hand, what ever i say, it wont change or help but i send you lots of love xxxx

I lost my first twin at 21 weeks, he passed age 2 and a half hours. Twin 2 held out to 24 weeks and spent 102 days in hospital and is now a gorgeous 16 month old.

I dont have any answers about drugs im afriad, i was put on bedrest after my waters went at 20weeks and told to just stay still.

The ladies in this section will be able to help as i know some of them have been on trials to help prevent premature labour.

Hope baby stays cooking for a long longer, good luck xxxxxxxxxx

 

[PleaseBaby]

My daughter was born at 27 weeks, 9 months after my son was stillborn at 32 weeks. I know why they came early which was placental abruption. My consultant did thrombophilia tests but they came back negative. He is conviced thats the issue though as there are many clotting disorders that are either unknown or cant be tested for.

My daughter is absolutely thriving. In my neonatal they said that after 26 weeks babies satistically stand a much better chance of survival

Theres a loss section here aswell, if you want to join us over there you will be more than welcome x

 

[Little_Nugget]

Thanks everyone. I have another scan at 18 weeks (been getting them fortnightly since just over 4 weeks) and I have a consultant review same day just after that so will speak to her properly. That's if I get the chance. She's with 8 other women so I see a midwife at review generally and she pops in for a quick chat. It's kind of crap but there's not much I can do about it as my maternity unit at the hospital is overbooked as it is.

I've put myself on bed rest since 6 weeks and literally only leave my house for my appointments and if I desperately need bread or something.

Will just have to see what happens and hope to God I can get to that magical 26/27 week point.

Thanks again ladies =] xx

 

[vermeil]

I'm so sorry you've had such difficult pregnancies before... there are no words to convey how awful it must have been. You sound like a strong lady.

24 weeks is not that far off! 27 just a bit farther! Try to keep positive and follow your gut instinct - go to the hospital if you feel like something's not quite right.

Keep us posted - thinking of you

 

[MommyJaan]

hugs... This one looks like it wont leave you soon. Praying for you.