Scared to tell DH?

[MamaBear1985]

Hi. I just found out that I am pregnant with #2. It is completely unplanned (I have an almost 2 year old and I am on the pill for a few months now and have been having what seemed to me like a normal withdrawal bleed, it was just very light for only 3 days but came at the right time). I'm not understanding what I've done wrong. I estimate I am about 5 weeks gone, maybe more (CB Digi said 3+). I tested because I started feeling sick (nauseous) and tired with no explanation and I realized it reminded me of my first pregnancy. I always thought this happens to other people?! I have taken my pill properly. My first was completely planned so I am just so lost.

My hubby and I have always had good relationship (I am mid thirties and been together with him many years. He is a few years older). But we do not agree about a #2. I wanted a #2 and he is STRONGLY against it. We argued several times and I let it go some months ago and got on the pill when I stopped BF my first. He is so very happy with the one we have and simply doesn't want more (or to start over). I know he will not want to keep it and I know it's going to tear us apart because one of us has to lose. Money is not a problem for us but we don't have family help or anything near us and we both work so it's hard with just the one even, I understand that.

I feel so stuck and scared. Just looking for advice and support.

Thank you.

 

[justonemore31]

I'm sorry youre going through this. I understand being afraid because I'm afraid to tell my family (my kids and hubby know) but being afraid to tell your husband is worse. You should be able to feel comfortable enough to talk to him. Tell him that you know it wasn't planned but there's a reason for everything. Birth control does fail. Congrats. I know it's a hard time right now but it'll get better. The sooner you tell him the better.

 

[Dream.dream]

I'm sorry . An unplanned pregnancy can be stressful. Honestly maybe give your spouse so grace. He may surprise you. My husband was supposed to get a vasectomy in dec and now were expecting number 4 . He didnt wsnt this baby but also told me hed support me no matter what my decision.

 

[krissie328]

I got pregnant unexpectedly with number 2. To be fair we tried for almost two years before accepting it and decided to raise our one.

DH was not happy the entire pregnancy. But the night I went to be induced we talked in the car about it all. We both had our own emotions over it but at that point we were both excited to be welcoming her.

I hope it works out positively for you. It is a tough path to travel when one or both aren't excited.

 

[Bevziibubble]

Good luck for telling him. I hope it goes well

 

[Chezzer]

Prob wrong advice but keep it quiet a little longer maybe like pretend u didn't know and then maybe tell him a few wks later,

 

[bbbbbbb811]

Firstly, the pill has a high success rate when taken properly it isn't 100% so don't think you've not taken it properly and blame yourself. It takes two, and contraception isn't just the women's job, although normally it is enough.
Secondly, talking about TTC and actually being pregnant are different situations so his reaction may be better than you expect, good luck telling him

 

[Elsa50501]

Goodnluck telling him. Also, other things can interfere with birth control pills. For example, antibiotics, switching to a new pill needs one month for it to be effective again, switching pills two times in a month needs a three month window for them to be effective.

So who knows, if any of that happened to you it could be your explanation.

 

[DobbyForever]

I agree. I have seen many men on here surprise their partners by accepting an unplanned pregnancy after being strongly against it. So you never know. I can understand not telling if you know he will push termination. I’ve been there. But you have to tell eventually and being married with a child, I think your best bet to keep your marriage going strong is not to keep it hidden for weeks. Best of luck hugs

 

[Chezzer]

My pregnancy was unplanned but she is very loved
I got the blame he knew I wasnt on the pill I told him to bag up latex free but he didn't get them I left it down to him to buy as he will know what size fits the standard size condom will be far to big for his 3 inch dick he blamed me and said was he in any fit state to buy them as he had been drinking and doing lines of coke yes I got the blame for him doing that. I've since kicked him to the kerb.

 

[mumof1+1]

Oh dear. What a terrible situation. However, I have 2 unplanned pill babies. My now ex never wanted kids but he accepted the pregnancies although I have to admit, knowing he was so against having children I did wait until the decision was taken away until I told him. HAd he chose to end the relationship would have been his loss. I’m not suggesting you need to do that however, just saying that’s how I did it. I wish you the very best of luck and hope dh accepts the pregnancy once informed. Hugs xxx