Second hand gifts

[leash27]

Just wondering what everyone's opinion is on giving/receiving gifts that are bought from car boot sales, charity shops etc?

Personally, it isn't something I would ever choose to do. DH and I have always planned and saved for Christmas so that we can buy gifts for DS and the rest of our families. I don't have an issue with charity shops and we donate a lot of DS old toys and clothes when he has outgrown them as I like to think someone somewhere is getting some use out of them.

The reason I ask is because MIL has given DS second hand toys for the last two Christmas and Birthdays. When I say second hand, I mean still dirty (tea stains, pen marks etc) so not really in very good condition and not something I would give him to play with. Depending on the state of them, we usually clean them and donate them or throw them away - some of them have been really bad.

My issue is that MIL has 7 grandchildren but DS is the only one who gets second hand toys, the others get whatever gifts they ask for or cash (usually £50). Now we don't ask for or expect anything from anyone, DS gets more than enough from us and my mum and FIL tend to go a little OTT for him too. However, it really bothers me that she does this and I don't know whether I should say something to her. Not so much about him being treated differently to the others but more so to acknowledge the gifts are second hand and often not in a good enough condition for DS to play with. I don't expect she is spending a lot on them but it seems a waste of money all the same. I would prefer her to keep the money herself or donate to a charity.

What do you think? Would you say something? If so, what would you say? We don't have the greatest relationship so I need to be careful not to come off rude. The alternative is to keep accepting the gifts and donating or binning them.

X

 

[hel_5]

Is he the youngest? Possibly she did this with the rest til they started asking for something.

I wouldn't say anything, not sure how you could say it without sounding a bit rude, is DH bothered by it? If anything I would get him to speak to he as he's her mum!! xx

 

[leoniebabey]

i wouldn't be impressed with dirty toys as presents tbh and would probs have to say something.

 

[toptrump]

That would gut me. I really do hate it when children are not treated equally. I would not say anything however, not until he got older and it affected him.

I personally do not see a problem in second hand presents. We can afford to buy presents for everyone and the girls get everything they desire. However, I do love a car boot and if I see something that is literally brand new I will buy and put away. Take for instance I bought Gabriella frustration still in the cellophane for £2 which would have cost me about £12 and also a pack of 24 pots of playdoh in a massive bumper pack for £2 all sealed which I reckon would have been at least another £15 if not more. If it still brand new I don't have a problem with it. I was going to buy both of these items for her anyway so money saved.

Also I have got her the surburban Playmobil house from Boots for Christmas for her and am buying all the furniture sets new to go in it. However they no longer do the garage and I managed to get it complete and in its box off Ebay (probably for what it cost new)

Also she is into Wizard of Oz and I have got her the most beautiful magical book from Amazon that I just cannot find in the shops in lovely condition and I really believe this will be one of her favourite presents.

I have also bought stocking fillers new from the carboot as I like to fill the stockings with silly items that cost a fortune and are only there for the funny factor this year all new I have got

2 x Dr who pots of slime - 20p each
Hello kitty keyring pen - 20p
vodka bottle icecube maker - 50p
2 x FCUK mens deodrants - 50p each
magic worm - 20p
worlds miniest Mr Men jigsaws - 20p each (these are £5 each in the shops)
desktop make your own aquarium - 20p (priced at £5.99)!
Paddington mini metal suitcase with mini Paddington bear - 50p
set of hand warmers - 50p
drinking bottle bomb thing - 50p
Impulse body sprays - 3 for £1

This lot would have cost a small fortune and everyone in our family loves the silly things they get in their stocking and also mean I do not mind if they get put to one side

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I do not see a problem with good condition second hand toys x

 

[emyandpotato]

I think it's a little weird to give a dirty or broken present yes, but second hand doesn't bother me. In fact almost everything I own is second hand! For LO I would be absolutely fine with second hand gifts, though like you said if something was especially dirty (a little dust is okay) I'd be a bit weirded out. His main presents for this year are second hand, as was his main birthday present. I'd buy second hand for someone else if they would appreciate it and/or couldn't tell, but I wouldn't, for example, buy my MIL something obviously second hand because she simply wouldn't like it.

 

[Amarna]

I don't have a problem with second hand presents as long as they're in good condition and clean. For example I almost always buy DVDs and books for the girls second hand from ebay, amazon, charity shops, etc. It saves a ton of money. A lot of our clothing (especially mine and DH's) comes from thrift shops. And a good portion of our furniture is as well. Last year I found some cool toys for the girls xmas gifts second hand, out of packaging but still in great condition and they couldn't care less.

If I knew someone was like me and didn't mind second hand things I'd buy it for a gift but i do know people who are offended by the very thought so I obviously don't do that for them.

I would get your DH to say something to his mother, she might take it better coming from him. For me the concern would be that they are dirty or broken items, not that they're second hand.

 

[meldmac]

I have no problem with second hand but the fact they are dirty or broken would be a bit insulting to me.

 

[Reid]

I don't have any issues with second hand but this seems a little different 1st off she's treating 1 child different from the rest which I don't like and you say the toys are in poor condition do you think this is something she's doing on purpose? Do you and you oh get on with her? I'd be experiencing my oh to say to her but more how yous feel your child is treated different at birthdays and christmas than her other grandchildren xx