Sensitive kids group

[Tacey]

We don't get whining as much as shouting/demanding here, but I try and deal with it as the others said, by repeating that it's not how I want to be spoken to. I generally say it in a light hearted way, (*mock surprise* "Goodness me Alice, My ears hurt when I'm shouted at like that! How can you ask me in a nice way?" *big grin*) as otherwise we get into a stand off. I'm guilty of not following it all the time too, as sometimes I just can't be bothered . I really should work on it though.

Do all of your children enjoy imaginative play/have imaginary friends? I've noticed Alice is just starting to do voices for her toys but doesn't really get imaginary play. She is very literal. When I try and play with her, saying things like "Let's get on our boat, where shall we sail?" she looks at me like I'm insane, before telling me "Mummy, this is only a cushion. Real boats are outside and go on water." Even when she dresses up, she never says "I am a pirate" she'll say "I'm wearing clothes that make me look like a pirate."

Edit: On the whining thing, when it does happen for us, it's usually connected to tiredness or hunger. In those cases, I might mention that I don't like the way she asks, but I tend to do whatever it is anyway, as I can see why it happens. To be honest, I whine at DH quite a bit when I'm tired, and wouldn't take kindly to him refusing to do something for me because of it !

 

[OmarsMum]

Thanks ladies, I do the same, I ask him to stop or I will not listen, I ask him firmly to stop crying, etc, & I'm very consistent.

As for imaginary play, Omar doesn't have an imaginary friend, he pretends to play with his nephew & he calls his baby toy with his nephew's name. He pretend plays without toys a lot, almost all day.

He "talks" to someone when he plays alone, like when he plays with his letters for example he asks an imaginary person to give him a word that starts with a letter, or he asks this person to spell a word, then he answers his own questions.

He also pretends to cook, make sandwiches, coffee, etc. he pretends to drive a car, he's so good at it, he opens the door, sits on the floor, closes the door, switches on the imaginary car, buckles his seat belt, drives, stops when there is a signal, then he reaches his destination. He goes to different places, he went to Beirut, Italy & recently France. He goes to the library to read books, to the zoo to see the animals. He also loves to pretend to go shopping, he asks me to give him imaginary coins & imaginary shopping list, he carries anything that looks like a bag, & he uses it to put his imaginary shopping.

He builds bridges using cushions, he makes houses, & beds. When he walks on the bridge, he tells me that he shouldn't fall as there are crocodiles or sharks in the water.

He always pretends to be a cat & asks me to be a rabbit, he asks me to pretend to be a monster & I pretend to eat him. Yesterday he pretended that he was cutting me with his knife then he used imaginary glue to put me back together

He sits for hours with me or the housekeeper to make fake jewelry using papers, & he wears them on, he uses stickers as earrings.

He doesn't like dress up, it irritates him.

When we run around the house, he sits on a rug for a break, then he asks me to sit & we pretend to eat ice cream. He doesn't even eat real ice cream but he loves to eat imaginary ones with different flavours

 

[DaisyBee]

Tacey - that is a great idea about making light of the demanding! As yes, otherwise its a standoff and I want to avoid that power struggle with her. My parents were very controlling when I was growing up, and I'm trying to parent and guide without controlling her. It was very different being a daycare provider as I was more like a teacher than mom. Kids would listen and not demand as I wasn't mom. I did have the whines with a few of them though, but like I said it was easier to follow through as I wasn't tired, stressed, etc.

I've made a big realization this morning and thank you to everyone for listening to my venting and your opinions on my situation with my mom. I've decided that I can't change who she is and I can't make her want to be in our life or helping us, I can't make her stop being selfish. It's been a huge shock to my system being that it isn't how she ever used to be. But I need to stop letting her get to me.


Ive been stressed and on edge for months. Things were very hard for me this summer with Jordan at the age she was, before I did cc. It was really really hard... Even for a while after it wasn't Very easy, it was much better, but not great. But it is different now. Thngs are going better and more smoothly. But I've held on to that anxiety from before. I can't do that. It's not fair to anyone. I need to start enjoying my kids more. Megan is 3 for goodness sakes. She is going to be in high school before I know it. I need to lighten up and go with the flow a little bit more. Yes have a routine and schedule but not panic if it doesn't happen or she doesn't fall asleep til midnight. I'm letting it consume me and it's making me depressed. My mom has also consumed my thought and that wouldn't be happening if I wasn't so upset with her.

I'll talk about the imaginary play in a bit....

 

[OmarsMum]

Daisybee- amazing pics! Love your new avatar

Your mum sounds a lot like my mum, we were so close, we're still close but not like before, she's a bit jealous as I have my own life now & I'm not dependent on her like before, she was very helpful when I had Omar, she was living abroad, she visited us & stayed for 6 weeks to help, but when they moved back here when Omar was 9 months she was very controlling. Everything was about her & my brothers.

On my birthday, she called to say happy birthday but she didn't visit us as she had other arrangements with her friends, she didn't get me a gift as according to her "I don't need anything", my dad got me a cake the day before my birthday, but that was it really, I didn't get anything from anyone. I was so disappointed & I spent my birthday crying.

I pay for all her stuff, I give her money all the time, she can afford buying me something, but she told me clearly she will not buy anyone any gifts as now we should buy her stuff not the other way round. But she gives my youngest brother money all the time, when she goes shopping with SIL & my brother she pays for their stuff as according to her my brother shouldn't spend from his money as he doesn't work, she buys stuff to my nephew all the time but she doesn't buy anything to Omar.

I know she loves Omar, & she loves me, but it hurts me when she doesn't buy us stuff because we're more financially stable than my brother

She also told me that she can't have Omar alone at her place as Omar fights with nephew. When we go for dinner at their place every Tuesday, she gets irritated when we leave early although she knows Omar needs to go home. But now she gave up, I honestly do what's suitable for us as a family those days, & I'm not bothered anymore when she gets irritated. She's a very moody person, and I'm tired form stressing myself to please her & my brothers, I told her clearly that I'm not helping my brothers with his projects anymore. She doesn't babysit, & I don't have time

 

[DaisyBee]

Thinking about it more... The sensitive boy in daycare ( the one that I've said reminds me of Omar), he was the one that whined the most. Lol so maybe it's part of his sensitivity? And Megan was whiny this morning just after I said she usually isn't. Haha she caught a 2nd cold though and isn't feeling well and I put it down to that. I also caught a 2nd cold and wasn't over the first one. I had a sore throat starting yesterday again and feel uck! I'm guessing we caught it from soft play which has been called the germ pit around here. Lol Just hoping we are all better before Xmas!

Tacey- Megan is opposite of Alice in that way. She pretends almost all day long. She will pretend anything is something else. A fork is a dinosaur, a plate is a hat, dressing up she is a princess, or a Vikings cheerleader, or a mommy, or a man, when she is naked she says she is a boy. Haha I have no idea where that one comes from. She pretend cooks, brings me nothing and says here drink this hot chocolate. And I go to drink it and she yells out, be careful it's hot! Blow on it first! She pretends I am her and she is me, she pretends a box is a car or a toilet paper tube is a telescope or a microphone. The only things she really does that aren't imaginative are playing with balls and playing outside on her swing and slide. When she was a bit younger I felt like a lot of her pretend play included props, like dr kit, etc. But lately she needs nothing. She goes on adventures in the house and hunts for treasure. She pretends that her old toddler bed in the basement is a bus and she is the bus driver and she is getting ice cream from monkeys at ice cream island ( which the island is from her strawberry shortcake book but the rest is out of nowhere). She takes all the books out of MY bookshelf and puts them on the bed and those are all the passengers.

Omarsmum - family dynamics are so interesting aren't they!? Dh has questioned if my mom is either jealous or we did something that upset her and she is holding a grudge.
My youngest brother never used to talk to my parents much, he wasn't close to them. He was still rebelling and not wanting their opinion on anything he did so it was easiest for him to not tell them anything as then they couldn't comment. (he is 30) he finally got over that.
He lives near them and he now talks to them almost daily. About everything. He has changed a lot. My mom now tells him things. And we've found if we tell my brother something he then tells my mom. dh has suggested that maybe she has him to talk to now, so doesn't need me for that anymore, and I think he has a point there.
I think that my mom is a bit jealous as I'm a sahm right now and she loved that time in her life best she has said. She hates her job right now and although it's not a stressful job she makes it that way. She puts too much pressure on herself and makes herself stressed. She works at home, never has to see her boss in person really, wears pajamas while working if she wants type thing. She only works 8 hrs a day but acts like she is busier than me and dh combined. ( dh works lots of hours some weeks I barely see him).

She says she doesn't want to play mom role, she wants to be grandma. I told her my memory of my grandparents growing up. I wasn't close to them. They showed up for cake and presents for my bday party and then went home. Thats the only time they ever came to our house. She said she doesn't want to hear details about the kids. well thats what kids are mostly. Megan potty trained this summer and yet my mom didn't even want to know about it, it was months before she realized that Megan was actually trained as she didn't even listen to me. She has said she doesn't want to babysit the girls. She finds it too hard.

My other brother is almost 32. He has been distant from the moment he left for college. He talks nothing personal about himself ever. He talks about work, weather, anything that doesn't involve a real conversation. He lived in Arizona for many years after school and had to fly whenever he would come home for holidays. It was very obvious my mom bent over backwards for him and to accommodate him. He now is married and lives 2 hrs the other direction from my parents. My mom still bends over backwards for him. He treats my parents like they are casual acquaintances and yet if he calls they drop what they are doing for him. If I need them, they are too busy. I've always been there for them and maybe that's the problem. I'm too emotionally available for my mom. Maybe if I start treating her with indifference she will come running! Lol

I think that she has hurt my feelings, she doesn't have time for me when I've needed her. She told me she would help and then didn't. Her hair, her shopping, her exercising, her garden have all now come before me. When we were going to be induced with Jordan she HAD to fit in a hair appt with my mil. She kept trying to figure out when they could do it, and my parents and dh's parents were taking turns watching Megan when we were at the hospital. It felt like my mom cared more about making sure she got her hair done, then Jordan being born. Dhs cousin got married in oct. My mom wanted to get her hair done and called my mil. Mil said she was busy all of sat with the wedding but offered to do it sun. ( mil told me she didn't know what else to tell my mom, but she didn't want to do hair on Sunday her day off as mil has a hard time telling her no). So I told my parents to cancel the hair appt. Told them mil had to do hair on sat from 4am for everyone in the wedding, then she had to read a poem at the wedding. She also promised the mother of the bride that she would give her a ride home from the dance. So it was a full day for her and yet had to get up early Sunday morning to do my moms hair. My mom refused to cancel. There are other people who could do her hair, but she would have to pay for it and she is too cheap! When they come up they don't call me, they call mil. I usually find out they are planning a visit when my mil tells me. I had megans bday party on Saturday only because my mom had called mil for a hair appt and set that on sat. She didn't even ask me when her party was. So I couldn't set it on Sunday then as then my parents would have been here the whole day Sunday which I didn't want since it was her bday.

Tonight I'll write about dh and I with sensitivity.

 

[OmarsMum]

My parents were & are still controlling. It gets on everyone's nerves. They still treat us as kids. I'm so glad they finally moved a bit far away from our place, they were living with us for 1 yr, then they moved next door. In September then finally moved to a new place down the street.

I used to freak out everytime I didn't get a full mark in a quiz or test, my mum used to make me feel bad about it, when I decided to leave uni abroad & come back home to start again there, my dad didn't talk to me for months.

When I quit my job & got married then had Omar, dad told my mum he was really disappointed as he didn't raise me to end up as a house wife

He also questions my spendings, everytime I buy a new toy for Omar or new stuff he gets irritated! I can afford it, it's non of his business. When we were kids we had all types of toys, we were spoilt rotten

I still have to call my mum every morning to tell her about our plans, she wants to know each & every detail about my life.

But it never affected my confidence, I'm a strong positive person, but I was always stressed out while growing up due to my sensitivity. Two of my brothers are not sensitive at all, they did what they wanted, they had problems & issues while growing up, they were & still very stubborn & lazy but they don't care about criticism or my parents control. My middle brother is also sensitive, he's always stressed out, he gets lectures from my dad every night, my dad doesn't like when my brother eats out or travels with his friends! He's a successful 26 yrs old engineer! He's not a kid anymore.

This is why I'm trying to relax when it comes to Omar, but I can't help not to worry. Yesterday we visited some friends, they kid is 6 months older than Omar. It was the 1st time we visited them at home.

Omar was stressed out & overwhelmed & asked to go back home, they kid is very outgoing & loud, he doesn't sit still or focus. All his toys are destroyed & his room was so messy. Omar was irritated & he told the kid that it was time to clean up as he can't play in a messy room

My friend asked me if I took Omar to a specialist as he doesn't act like a normal toddler I was so hurt ,I know he doesn't act like a typical 3 yrs old, she knows about Omar's sensitivity but she doesn't really understand as her kid is not sensitive. I ended up shouting at Omar in the car as I was so irritated

I asked him why he didn't stop crying & whining, & I refused to play with him when we went back home, I was so mean to him

When I woke up today, I decided to relax a bit, I really need to relax when it comes to Omar, but I don't know how to do it.

Today when he woke up, he ended up screaming as I wasn't in bed with him, I was in the toilet in the same room, I talked to him when I heard him screaming it it didn't help

But when we went to the classes it went really well, but he didn't say a word for 2 hours he signed & pointed instead of talking

I was able to hide behind the huge blocks in the soccer class, & he joined in without bothering about not seeing me

Sorry for the long post

 

[DaisyBee]

Lol - we posted at the same time!! Mine is long too

 

[polaris]

Daisybee, sounds like you've been doing a lot of thinking and hopefully your head feels a bit clearer now and you can move forward with your own life and as you say do your best to not allow your mother to get under your skin. Somebody said to me once that once you have children, they become your family and so your family of origin becomes your extended family. I find this quite helpful at times.

Tacey - Thomas generally loves imaginative play but using toys and other items as props rather than playing with completely imaginary items like Omarsmum describes (which is a more advanced stage of imaginative play). He doesn't have imaginary friends but he does talk to his toys a lot and brings them places etc. He doesn't like dressing up but he is always pretending to be something, usually an animal of some sort. He loves role-playing games usually based on books that he likes. He likes to act out stories over and over again, he will take one role and ask me to take another role and then his toys will take other roles. One of his favourite games at the moment is pretending to go to the toy shop in his spaceship (a pop-up tent) and then "buying" toys to bring home again in the spaceship. However he can also be quite dismissive of my suggestions at times, e.g. (in extremely patronizing tone) "No mammy, that's just a stick" or "it's not real mammy, just pretend" (looking sympathetically at me because I'm clearly such an idiot).

 

[OmarsMum]

Lol - we posted at the same time!! Mine is long too

I find typing is easier than talking

 

[OmarsMum]

Polaris- Omar pretends play with toys, but he prefers to make up thing without toys, when I try to pretend play with something he gets excited & he joins in, he even goes on & on without stopping. Sometimes I can't keep up with him.

Even when we go to bed, he starts to move his legs up, saying that those are wings & he's flying up the sky. He literally makes up a scenario from any simple action, even when he takes a bath, he pretends to row a boat while singing row row row the boat.

Reading all this, it doesn't sound so normal

 

[polaris]

Omarsmum I am mean to Thomas too sometimes and I really hate it. Sometimes he just pushes my buttons and I can't take it anymore. I'm lucky that my OH is around a lot (shift work and working from home) so when I feel that it is getting too much I ask him to take Thomas out the next day to give me some breathing space. It generally really helps a lot for me to have time away from him and we get on so much better after a break from each other.

Your parents do sound controlling. I wonder if maybe that is part of the reason why it's hard for you to relax about Omar. It's very hard work to parent differently to the way in which we were parented. Obviously it can be done but it's much harder because you have to concentrate all the time on doing things differently, and that's particularly difficult when you're stressed out. Does that make any sense?

 

[DaisyBee]

I wrote a whole long thing about my parents growing up and then deleted it. It sounded horrible. Omg! I never thought about myself as having a bad childhood, but when I write it out, it's sounds horrible. It's really been a big deal to dh and I lately talking about our childhoods and making sure we dont repeat it. but when I started writing I started writing things dh and I haven't even discussed recently. I think I've avoided thinking about things as it's easiest that way, and reAlly if I thought about how they were I don't think I would have a relationship at all now with them.

Omar sounds like Megan with pretend play, you said it better than i did. Lol she pretends to do weird stuff all the time... But I think it's creative more than odd. Lol

Polaris - that is exactly what happens to me and what I'm trying to avoid. (being my parents).

 

[polaris]

Daisybee I think having your own children can really bring up a lot of childhood stuff and make you really look at the way you were parented in a different light, because it's only then that you really realize that certain things just weren't how they should be.

Just wanted to comment again on how much I am enjoying this thread. I feel closer in some ways to you girls than to most of my real life friends - I guess maybe because we all have a lot in common.

 

[DaisyBee]

Omarsmum - how exactly was he acting that your friend thought wasn't normal? Just the being overwhelmed? I think that was very rude of her to say, and I felt the exact same at thanksgiving when people brought it up to me.

Megan doesn't handle kids like the one you were describing very well at all. They stress her out, she melts down. Becomes clingy and if they are here at our house she has either just freaks out and doesn't want to share her toys or she wants to go in her room. Out and about she retreats.

But I am the same in a way. A lady from toddler class who was so loud and over the top. The loudest laugh I've ever heard. I would never be friends with her as I couldnt handle her. I saw her in the store a few weeks ago and I was stuck talking to her as I couldn't get away. I felt like the whole room was getting smaller. Lol I didn't like talking to her. And Megan started getting really annoyed as well. And it was on a day when she was doing great otherwise, it was only from the woman that she was having issues as well. I saw instant relief in megans phase once we walked away and I felt the same.

Polaris - I do think i feel close in the group as well because we can all relate ( and it's just a lovely group of people! ) I don't talk about any of these things to others either. Lol The few people that I've told just a bit about Megan to - I've seen pity almost. Even when I put it in the best possible way, not mention any negatives, only the good things. They think it's weird and even if I only mention her issues falling asleep to someone else, when she has had a fun or busy day people are shocked. that is obviously nothing they deal with ever. People in the mall the other day stared at Megan when she had her chewy toy. The photographer and other person working when I picked up the pics both commented on it. They both laughed about it. I think it's why I get so annoyed in baby club with all the judgement everyone has for everyone else. I am tired of being the different ones all of time and feeling like others are judging either my parenting as why Megan is the way she is ( like what cutie and polaris mentioned with your families doing), or judging her for her meltdowns in public, thinking it's a bratty kid vs her being overwhelmed. I remember relating to some of you way back when our kids were babies. As we were the only ones on those threads that seemed similar.

 

[DaisyBee]

Also realized I forgot to comment about the preschool cutie - I like the idea of montessori as well but I'm not driving her to the bigger town to get her to one. And yes very understandable about 3 days vs 5. I would feel the same way. Our church has a preschool but we've been more thinking about the one connected to our school. Our thought is that it would be easier transition for her in kindergarden as they are in the same building and structured more the same.

 

[cutie4evr01]

Daisybee I think having your own children can really bring up a lot of childhood stuff and make you really look at the way you were parented in a different light, because it's only then that you really realize that certain things just weren't how they should be.

Just wanted to comment again on how much I am enjoying this thread. I feel closer in some ways to you girls than to most of my real life friends - I guess maybe because we all have a lot in common.

I agree precisely, with both of these points! to you both, Daisybee and Omarsmum, as it sounds like you both are dealing with ongoing family drama that is adding unnecessary stress to your lives. I can't complain about how I was raised, but I certainly am trying to do some things differently. I imagine we have less family drama because neither of our families are here, and the rest of my family is spread out (i.e. my mom, my brother, my sister, and I all live in different places). So there's not so much opportunity for favoritism or annoying each other. Thankfully my mom has always been careful not to play favorites (although my brother and sister believed I was the favorite, so they may say otherwise ). Most of the time I wish we lived closer to some of them, as we do miss them very much (and could use some help, especially babysitting), but we often discuss how we probably wouldn't like it if they did live here as they would be interfering even more than they do now (especially MIL).

I definitely feel closer to you all than my real life friends - I haven't spoken to anyone in any depth about Christina. My mom knows parts, and MIL knows parts, but my mom doesn't really understand and MIL is quick to jump to conclusions (most recently she's convinced she has PDD ), so we tend to just keep quiet. Daisybee, I understand about the chewy toy too - anytime someone asks Christina what she wants for Christmas and she says a chew toy, they look at me like she's crazy. I tend to just quickly lead the conversation in a different direction. I don't like to leave her with others as I feel like they just don't understand, so we only leave her with a sitter when we absolutely have to, and honestly it's probably only been a handful of times since she was born.

Someone mentioned above about not wanting to be controlling, and I'm wondering if I might be too controlling. Christina and I do butt heads sometimes, and I wonder if it's because she and I are both trying to control the situation. I'll have to think on that one more.

Christina does lots of pretend play too, both with objects and without - I think it's normal, and I wouldn't be surprised if Omar is ahead of the curve with that since he's seems very far intellectually above and beyond toddlers his age.

 

[cutie4evr01]

Here are a couple pictures from our outdoor Santa visit - she wouldn't sit on his lap, but she did start warming up to him as he talked. The second one where she has her hands up at her mouth was when Santa told her he had brought her a present - she was excited to get a present from Santa.

 

[DaisyBee]

Lol so I wrote a long post about my childhood and me trying not to be controlling and then I talked to my mil and my post expired or something. I'm too tired to write it all again so will write it tomorrow.

My mil knows how my mom has been and doesn't get her either.. She cant believe my mom won't try to bend at all for my kids. But then we talk about Xmas at her house and she didn't want to bend either, lol. I told her either we can do it at 3:00 and we can stay longer, or we can come earlier but we will have to leave early so Jordan can come home and nap ( neither dh or I think she will nap there). I hate that dh wasn't willing to talk to her about this though. So now I'm the bad guy.

Oh and mil thinks Megan is going to "outgrow" all of this sensitivity.


And cutie - those are great pictures! I love that you caught her expression when she was excited about the present... How amazing is that!

And for anyone - but maybe omarsmum knows more... What is the friend requests on this forum really good for? I had someone request to be my friend today and I totally forget that is even part of the forum as I don't use it at all. Is there something specific tha helps with or you can use it for?

 

[Tacey]

I am a bit concerned about the lack of imaginative play. I know comparing isn't good, but I have never seen a child quite as literal. She does imagine - her pictures are pretty wacky, and she can problem solve, and suggest ideas for playing. She just seems so anchored in the real world for a little girl. It also causes problems when she takes people literally. My dad (in his wisdom :rolleye decided to play a game where he said there were lions and tigers on the street and they had to run from lamppost to lamppost so they wouldn't get pounced on. Bless her, she ran for her life, and was hysterical! She only calmed down when she decided the lions and tigers had been in the road and had been hit by cars. That's what I mean by problem solving imagination. She's really suffering with nightmares too (I think that's why she was waking so much).

Daisybee, I think letting go of the stress sounds really important. It's something I've been working on, and my relationship with Alice is a million times better. I've got some way to go yet! I've found the CBT I've been doing so helpful though. Hope you're feeling better soon by the way.

for those of you with difficult families and/or pasts to work through. Parenting is hard enough without that to deal with. You are all such strong women to be managing it so well!

Cutie - those pictures are adorable! Christina looks really relaxed and happy. I love Christmas!

I'm so glad to be able to talk to you ladies too. We really are spread out geographically, but our circumstances are so similar. When I see a new post in my control panel, I'm always excited to read it! It's helped me relax about Alice, and also find new ways to manage certain situations.

 

[OmarsMum]

Tacey, I also feel excited when there are new posts here

I do appreciate all the advise & info sharing here, it's really helping me in dealing with Omar in a better way, thanks a lot ladies

Cutie- lovely pics Omar was only 13 months when we took him to see Santa the 1st time, he refused to sit on his lap, he sat on his cousin's lap for the pic

Daisybee- my friend thinks Omar is different because he doesn't act spontaneously. Her son eats any food he's offered even from strangers for example, but Omar didn't accept the nuts from her, but when I gave him the plate he was fine. He commented on the mess, which is not normal according to her. He cried when her son pushed him instead of pushing him back. He noticed the clock in the kid's room & he said that he wants one for his room.

I mentioned before that my cousin who's 6 is exactly the same, when I used to babysit when he was 2-3 yrs old, I used to make sure that the house is spotless as he used to comment on the mess & he used to pick the tiniest stuff from the floor. I'm kind of used to seeing a sensitive kid, I was always around my cousin when he was younger.

My mum doesn't think Omar is different or strange as she raised two sensitive kids. I was the same, my brother who's 8 yrs younger than me was also the same. My brother didn't play with kids his age, he preferred to play with my mum's daughter who's 2 yrs older than her, they were best friends. He was into girly stuff like Omar & he preferred the company of quieter kids, he had a very fixed routine & he was too attached to my mum. My mum didn't send him to pre-school until he was 5.3 yrs as she really suffered when she sent me to pre- school at 3.10 yrs.

My parents weren't bad, but my dad has always been tough & negative, he was raised without a mum as she passed away when he was 8 only. So he was never been able to understand how to express his emotions. He took responsibilities when he was so young, so life was all about hard work for him. He co-slept with all of us, his life was dedicated to us, but until now he can't get over worrying nonstop about us. He cherish family life as he never had one, sometimes I feel so bad for him.

Anyway, I'm looking into starting a business, I'm excited but also overwhelmed. I can't stop worrying about Omar. Today I took him with me to look into offices, he was an angel, he didn't cry or whine, he had fun.

I promised myself yesterday to stop shouting at Omar, I want to try a new approach. I will just follow his lead like I did when he was younger, & I will see how it goes. I feel I'm more in control those days.

He will go to daycare on Sunday, they have a new teacher & they seem to have a better structure as they have more kids. There are many kids his age now, so hopefully it will work for us.

Sorry, I'm rambling again