Sensitive kids group
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Tacey - what is cbt?
I think Alice sounds very clever! And Megan is that way as well though if someone would talk about lions in the street I think she would think it's real.
Megan has a good imagination but she is also scared of things and that to me means she doesn't know that isn't real. She is very scared of things on tv. The one day after watching dump trucks on bubble guppies she kept looking out the window for them thinking they were coming to get her. She was seriously terrified. But instead of coming up with something like Alice to help she just remained upset. And I had a hard time convincing her they weren't coming and that tv isn't real, etc.
If someone like her grandpas teases her, she doesn't understand it's teasing. And even dh has said things that she burst out crying and he feels horrible as he was teasing and she took it wrong. Other times she understands and thinks it's funny.
Yesterday she watched a bit of chugging ton before I got the channel turned she saw a train being scared and lost and she started crying. So I ff a bit and every point it stopped the train was acting scared or the other train was frantic looking for the other train. So we talked about it and how the big train will find the other train and help him. I wanted her to see it turn out ok so made her sit there for a minute and deal with her feelings and we talked about how sad she was and scared for the train, wanting him to not be lost anymore. So he got out of the tunnel and she was so happy that they all helped the train and worked together, etc. It was just enough to stress her out, but I think making her work through it was helpful to her. Hopefully I'll be able to do it in small ways like that and it will help her. Not that I will turn it on Disney anymore!
I think Alice sounds very clever! And Megan is that way as well though if someone would talk about lions in the street I think she would think it's real.
Megan has a good imagination but she is also scared of things and that to me means she doesn't know that isn't real. She is very scared of things on tv. The one day after watching dump trucks on bubble guppies she kept looking out the window for them thinking they were coming to get her. She was seriously terrified. But instead of coming up with something like Alice to help she just remained upset. And I had a hard time convincing her they weren't coming and that tv isn't real, etc.If someone like her grandpas teases her, she doesn't understand it's teasing. And even dh has said things that she burst out crying and he feels horrible as he was teasing and she took it wrong. Other times she understands and thinks it's funny.
Yesterday she watched a bit of chugging ton before I got the channel turned she saw a train being scared and lost and she started crying. So I ff a bit and every point it stopped the train was acting scared or the other train was frantic looking for the other train. So we talked about it and how the big train will find the other train and help him. I wanted her to see it turn out ok so made her sit there for a minute and deal with her feelings and we talked about how sad she was and scared for the train, wanting him to not be lost anymore. So he got out of the tunnel and she was so happy that they all helped the train and worked together, etc. It was just enough to stress her out, but I think making her work through it was helpful to her. Hopefully I'll be able to do it in small ways like that and it will help her. Not that I will turn it on Disney anymore!
Tacey
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I wonder what your friend perceives to be 'normal,' Omarsmum! It sounds like she's judging based on what her child is like. That's not the best lens to view the world by! I hope it's not bothered you too much. Exciting news about starting a business! What will you be doing? I hope daycare on Sunday goes well. It sounds like there's some big changes going on in your life!
Thanks Daisybee! I think Alice is pretty bright in some areas too (that's mothers for you!
). She does a lot of making up stories to explain things she doesn't understand or is scared of. I think it helps her feel in control. You're definitely right that a bit of exposure to what makes them uncomfortable helps them deal with it. Actually, I've done a bit of that through CBT! It's Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's a talking therapy, which helps you find practical ways to change the way you think about situations, and alter your behaviour. It's very effective in dealing with depression and anxiety.
Thanks Daisybee! I think Alice is pretty bright in some areas too (that's mothers for you!
). She does a lot of making up stories to explain things she doesn't understand or is scared of. I think it helps her feel in control. You're definitely right that a bit of exposure to what makes them uncomfortable helps them deal with it. Actually, I've done a bit of that through CBT! It's Cognitive Behavioural Therapy. It's a talking therapy, which helps you find practical ways to change the way you think about situations, and alter your behaviour. It's very effective in dealing with depression and anxiety.
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Her son has zero attention span! Seriously! His room was destroyed!
It bothered me when she said it, & I tried to explain Omar's behaviour
but it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm kind of used to those comments, my aunt who's a teacher & who deals with special needs kids suggested autism 
Her son 6 yrs old son is similar to Omar, her 3 hrs old son barely talks although he goes to nursery, but she doesn't think her kids have issues
About the business, I have a friend who's an NLP consultant & trainer. She also have a montessori certificate.
We're going to start a Consultation & training centre as a beginning. We will be offering one to one psychological consultation services in addition to group training sessions. We will also organize enhancement courses for pre-schoolers, students, teenagers, teachers, etc.
I will be responsible of all admin & marketing works.
It bothered me when she said it, & I tried to explain Omar's behaviour
but it doesn't bother me anymore. I'm kind of used to those comments, my aunt who's a teacher & who deals with special needs kids suggested autism Her son 6 yrs old son is similar to Omar, her 3 hrs old son barely talks although he goes to nursery, but she doesn't think her kids have issues
About the business, I have a friend who's an NLP consultant & trainer. She also have a montessori certificate.
We're going to start a Consultation & training centre as a beginning. We will be offering one to one psychological consultation services in addition to group training sessions. We will also organize enhancement courses for pre-schoolers, students, teenagers, teachers, etc.
I will be responsible of all admin & marketing works.
That's really odd for her to comment when those things that Omar was doing isn't that bizarre, I mean who cares if he noticed a mess or noticed a clock? Right? It doesn't affect her, just because her child is different than yours doesn't mean hers is the better or one who behaves in the right way. What if it is her child that is odd? You should ask her why he doesn't notice the mess, what is wrong with him? 
Some kids aren't agressive. Megan would never push anyone. She would just cry if someone pushed her. And yet I consider her feisty at home. But she isn't physical with it.
How exciting to be starting a business omarsmum!
We've been thinking maybe it's time for me to think about starting daycare up again. I started the paperwork last week, but it's reminded me how overwhelming it all is, and I've been putting it off. Lol paperwork alone is going to take a while. Getting the house ready and approved, the classes I have to take again. It's going to be summer I bet before I'm even open. After Xmas I'm going to concentrate more on it.
How is everyone's Xmas plans coming along? No ones been talking about it! Megan and I baked some cookies sunday and a different kind this morning. They are just getting done baking and I promised her she could help with frosting and sprinkles after nap. I haven't done any wrapping, not even done shopping yet. Haven't bought any food for our Xmas meal at home yet. But tree is up, outside lights are on, most of the girls presents are bought.
Some kids aren't agressive. Megan would never push anyone. She would just cry if someone pushed her. And yet I consider her feisty at home. But she isn't physical with it.
How exciting to be starting a business omarsmum!
We've been thinking maybe it's time for me to think about starting daycare up again. I started the paperwork last week, but it's reminded me how overwhelming it all is, and I've been putting it off. Lol paperwork alone is going to take a while. Getting the house ready and approved, the classes I have to take again. It's going to be summer I bet before I'm even open. After Xmas I'm going to concentrate more on it.
How is everyone's Xmas plans coming along? No ones been talking about it! Megan and I baked some cookies sunday and a different kind this morning. They are just getting done baking and I promised her she could help with frosting and sprinkles after nap. I haven't done any wrapping, not even done shopping yet. Haven't bought any food for our Xmas meal at home yet. But tree is up, outside lights are on, most of the girls presents are bought.
Tacey
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Ooh, how exciting Omarsmum! All the best in getting it going. Hope the paperwork isn't too arduous Daisybee. How many children can you care for at one time? It's something I've considered doing before, but I think I lack the organisation skills! I was a teacher pre children, but can't see myself returning to it now.
I'm really enjoying the run up to Christmas. Alice has a wooden train with 24 little drawers in it as her advent calender. I put a note with a Christmassy activity on in the relevant drawer each night. She's so excited to find out what we'll be doing each morning! We have a very droopy tree, which was the same one as last year. It has just about made it through, but DH says it's not coming back for a third year. Poor old tree. I think it has character, even if it does look half dead! I've done present buying, although have a few more to make. We're taking the easy option, and going to my parents' from the 24th to the 28th, so they're doing all the food (and hopefully a good chunk of the childcare). DH is now on holiday until New Year! Hooray! I'm getting really excited about it all now.
I'm really enjoying the run up to Christmas. Alice has a wooden train with 24 little drawers in it as her advent calender. I put a note with a Christmassy activity on in the relevant drawer each night. She's so excited to find out what we'll be doing each morning! We have a very droopy tree, which was the same one as last year. It has just about made it through, but DH says it's not coming back for a third year. Poor old tree. I think it has character, even if it does look half dead! I've done present buying, although have a few more to make. We're taking the easy option, and going to my parents' from the 24th to the 28th, so they're doing all the food (and hopefully a good chunk of the childcare
). DH is now on holiday until New Year! Hooray! I'm getting really excited about it all now.Yay for your dh being off for so long! My dh has the week of Xmas off and we are all excited about that! He's been working a ton this week and last weekend and he is really looking forward to time with the girls.
The advent calendar sounds so fun! That's what we need to do next year! I didn't know what to do, so I ended up buying a chocolate paper one and I threw it away after one day, the chocolate didn't even taste good! And Megan doesn't handle chocolate well. I was trying to pretend it wouldn't affect her and be fun mom but its not worth it. Lol
I think the thing about daycare is once you figure out what works, then you stick with that and everything follows. It would probably be good for me to be more structured again. How many kids depends some on what license I would ask for, but I'm not going to have very many kids at all until the girls are older. My kids count in the numbers and normal license is 10 total including your own kids. 4 school age kids, 6 kids under school age - of those 6, 3 can be under age of 2. And 2 of those can be infants. I would love to not have infants for a while and really maybe only start off with 2 other kids and work my way up. My neighbor wants to have me watch her son who is 4. Another mom has asked about backup care. And I've had friends ask when I'm starting up. So I won't have trouble finding people. I want to be picky though and find kids that my kids can handle and get along with. I'm hoping I can do that without hurting anyone's feelings.
Dh and I were thinking that really it might be good for the girls. In their own environment and yet some kids to play with. And be good to feel like I'm contributing to the family again. I love my dh dearly but we seem to do better when I'm working. He doesn't really understand how hard it's been to be a sahm and even though I'm not earning a paycheck that I'm still contributing to the house. I've noticed that its affected our relationship as he feels he is makig the money and should have more say so then. I'm not ok with that and don't like how that makes me feel. I also thinks he feels more pressure on him when I'm not working.
The advent calendar sounds so fun! That's what we need to do next year! I didn't know what to do, so I ended up buying a chocolate paper one and I threw it away after one day, the chocolate didn't even taste good! And Megan doesn't handle chocolate well. I was trying to pretend it wouldn't affect her and be fun mom but its not worth it. Lol
I think the thing about daycare is once you figure out what works, then you stick with that and everything follows. It would probably be good for me to be more structured again. How many kids depends some on what license I would ask for, but I'm not going to have very many kids at all until the girls are older. My kids count in the numbers and normal license is 10 total including your own kids. 4 school age kids, 6 kids under school age - of those 6, 3 can be under age of 2. And 2 of those can be infants. I would love to not have infants for a while and really maybe only start off with 2 other kids and work my way up. My neighbor wants to have me watch her son who is 4. Another mom has asked about backup care. And I've had friends ask when I'm starting up. So I won't have trouble finding people. I want to be picky though and find kids that my kids can handle and get along with. I'm hoping I can do that without hurting anyone's feelings.
Dh and I were thinking that really it might be good for the girls. In their own environment and yet some kids to play with. And be good to feel like I'm contributing to the family again. I love my dh dearly but we seem to do better when I'm working. He doesn't really understand how hard it's been to be a sahm and even though I'm not earning a paycheck that I'm still contributing to the house. I've noticed that its affected our relationship as he feels he is makig the money and should have more say so then. I'm not ok with that and don't like how that makes me feel. I also thinks he feels more pressure on him when I'm not working.
Tacey
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I know what you mean about the chocolate. Alice is a sugar fiend already, so I wanted to avoid that! In a brilliant bit of parenting, DH brought home a chocolate one for me as a surprise. It hadn't occurred to him that Alice may not be impressed! It's now hidden in a cupboard .
Working your way up and being picky sounds like a really good idea. I think you're right that it would work well for the girls. I'm lucky in that I don't think me being a SAHM has affected my relationship with DH, but once the children are less dependent on me, I'd like a new challenge. I've toyed with the idea of running a class for preschoolers. I'm not making any big decisions just yet though.
.Working your way up and being picky sounds like a really good idea. I think you're right that it would work well for the girls. I'm lucky in that I don't think me being a SAHM has affected my relationship with DH, but once the children are less dependent on me, I'd like a new challenge. I've toyed with the idea of running a class for preschoolers. I'm not making any big decisions just yet though.
polaris
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Omarsmum, that is very exciting about starting a business! I seem to remember that you had a very professional job before having Omar so I'm sure you will really enjoy the challenge. I agree with Daisybee about your friend's comments - love the idea of asking her how come her child doesn't notice the mess, LOL.
Daisybee - I think you are right that having daycare kids around would probably be great for the girls. It sounds like a perfect set-up really - they get to be at home with you but still get all the benefits of other children to interact with etc. Hope all the paperwork isn't too arduous! Definitely a good idea to start small and build up.
Tacey - I love the idea of the advent calendar with a different Christmas activity each day. We just have a plain paper one with a picture behind each door and Thomas is happy enough with that for the moment. He doesn't like chocolate anyway.
I'm quite excited about Christmas this year because Thomas is really old enough to understand and I think he will be able to handle it all better now. His first two Christmases were a bit of a disaster - he was only two months old for his first Christmas and still wanting to breastfeed for five hour marathon sessions, his second Christmas he was out-of-routine and didn't cope well with it at all. I didn't enjoy Christmas at all for the first two years. Last year Thomas was OK but I was in a bad cycling accident at the beginning of December and had my jaw wired shut and on a fully liquid diet for Christmas, so I didn't really get to properly enjoy it last year either! This year I'm hoping everything will just go smoothly and I'll be able to relax a bit.
We have the Christmas tree up and we have been making some decorations and Christmas themed pictures. I haven't done much shopping yet though, just a few things online. I really need a full morning to go into town without either of the kids but I'm finding it really tricky to get time to do that. I tried to go into town with Clara but she only sleeps for ten to fifteen minutes in the pram and wakes up as soon as we stop or go indoors, so it wasn't ideal and I ended up going home after getting a couple of bits.
I'm not even sure yet where we will be for Xmas dinner but it will be one of OH's family who live nearby, either his sister or brother. So we will have Xmas morning at home and Clara can have a good sleep in the morning and hopefully Thomas will have a nap too. Then we will go over to OH's family after Thomas's nap. Hopefully Clara will sleep upstairs for a bit in the afternoon, she will generally sleep anywhere as long as she's swaddled and it's reasonably dark. I'm going to be driving so I won't be drinking and my plan is to get away reasonably early and be home by 8ish to put Thomas to bed.
Daisybee - I think you are right that having daycare kids around would probably be great for the girls. It sounds like a perfect set-up really - they get to be at home with you but still get all the benefits of other children to interact with etc. Hope all the paperwork isn't too arduous! Definitely a good idea to start small and build up.
Tacey - I love the idea of the advent calendar with a different Christmas activity each day. We just have a plain paper one with a picture behind each door and Thomas is happy enough with that for the moment. He doesn't like chocolate anyway.
I'm quite excited about Christmas this year because Thomas is really old enough to understand and I think he will be able to handle it all better now. His first two Christmases were a bit of a disaster - he was only two months old for his first Christmas and still wanting to breastfeed for five hour marathon sessions, his second Christmas he was out-of-routine and didn't cope well with it at all. I didn't enjoy Christmas at all for the first two years. Last year Thomas was OK but I was in a bad cycling accident at the beginning of December and had my jaw wired shut and on a fully liquid diet for Christmas, so I didn't really get to properly enjoy it last year either! This year I'm hoping everything will just go smoothly and I'll be able to relax a bit.
We have the Christmas tree up and we have been making some decorations and Christmas themed pictures. I haven't done much shopping yet though, just a few things online. I really need a full morning to go into town without either of the kids but I'm finding it really tricky to get time to do that. I tried to go into town with Clara but she only sleeps for ten to fifteen minutes in the pram and wakes up as soon as we stop or go indoors, so it wasn't ideal and I ended up going home after getting a couple of bits.
I'm not even sure yet where we will be for Xmas dinner but it will be one of OH's family who live nearby, either his sister or brother. So we will have Xmas morning at home and Clara can have a good sleep in the morning and hopefully Thomas will have a nap too. Then we will go over to OH's family after Thomas's nap. Hopefully Clara will sleep upstairs for a bit in the afternoon, she will generally sleep anywhere as long as she's swaddled and it's reasonably dark. I'm going to be driving so I won't be drinking and my plan is to get away reasonably early and be home by 8ish to put Thomas to bed.
cutie4evr01
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Hi girls, Sorry I've been MIA for a couple days - I have been really busy with work - we have two big things due next Friday.
Omarsmum, all of those things your friend commented on as strange about Omar are things Christina does, and I don't think they're abnormal at all - they are just perceptive kids. I get a little embarrassed when we walk in somewhere and Christina asks loudly "Mommy, why is it messy in here?" That's very exciting about the business - good luck!
Daisybee, I agree that daycare in your house, with as few kids as you like, is the best of both worlds as your girls get to interact with other kids, but you get to spend all day with them. I imagine it's hard work as you'll never have a break, but the extra income should be nice. Usually DH and I earn about the same, but since I'm working part-time, he's making more than me right now. However, he has no clue how much money we have as I manage the money and do all the bills and shopping! So I am lucky we haven't had issues about money. I can see how it could be more stressful with only one income.
Tacey, I love the train with 24 drawers for an advent calendar - that way you could do something different in them each year. It's a great idea! We have an advent calendar with small books in each space, so each morning we read a tiny book about Christmas mice and what they are doing that day (hanging the stockings, baking the cookies, etc.).
I am so excited about Christmas as it will be our first one at home together since we've had kids, and only our second one ever since we have been together. When DH and I were dating we each went to visit our families, and after we got married 8 years ago we started alternating between going to his mom's house or my mom's house; we only stayed home for one Christmas when I was heavily pregnant and Christina was due less than 2 weeks later. Our tree is up, but we decided on paper decorations because Caitlyn either eats or destroys most of what she gets her hands on, so it has paper chains, candy canes, and a few ornaments Christina made over the years. Christina hung an entire box of candy canes in one spot on 2 branches right at her eye level.
I think our tree is pretty cute. I have done shopping along and along for Christina, but haven't got much for Caitlyn as we already have most everything for her age. We are planning to wrap up a few snacks, books, and clothes to give her something to open, and leave the toys to relatives. DH put up the outside lights when we got back from Thanksgiving and Christina loves them! She asks every night if we can drive or walk around and look at lights. She's actually getting better at drawing pictures that we can decipher and she has drawn a snowman to give to each of her grandmothers, which is really sweet.
Polaris so sorry to hear about your previous Christmas's - I'm glad that this one should be lots of fun for you all!
Omarsmum, all of those things your friend commented on as strange about Omar are things Christina does, and I don't think they're abnormal at all - they are just perceptive kids. I get a little embarrassed when we walk in somewhere and Christina asks loudly "Mommy, why is it messy in here?"
That's very exciting about the business - good luck!Daisybee, I agree that daycare in your house, with as few kids as you like, is the best of both worlds as your girls get to interact with other kids, but you get to spend all day with them. I imagine it's hard work as you'll never have a break, but the extra income should be nice. Usually DH and I earn about the same, but since I'm working part-time, he's making more than me right now. However, he has no clue how much money we have as I manage the money and do all the bills and shopping! So I am lucky we haven't had issues about money. I can see how it could be more stressful with only one income.
Tacey, I love the train with 24 drawers for an advent calendar - that way you could do something different in them each year. It's a great idea! We have an advent calendar with small books in each space, so each morning we read a tiny book about Christmas mice and what they are doing that day (hanging the stockings, baking the cookies, etc.).
I am so excited about Christmas as it will be our first one at home together since we've had kids, and only our second one ever since we have been together. When DH and I were dating we each went to visit our families, and after we got married 8 years ago we started alternating between going to his mom's house or my mom's house; we only stayed home for one Christmas when I was heavily pregnant and Christina was due less than 2 weeks later. Our tree is up, but we decided on paper decorations because Caitlyn either eats or destroys most of what she gets her hands on, so it has paper chains, candy canes, and a few ornaments Christina made over the years. Christina hung an entire box of candy canes in one spot on 2 branches right at her eye level.
I think our tree is pretty cute. I have done shopping along and along for Christina, but haven't got much for Caitlyn as we already have most everything for her age. We are planning to wrap up a few snacks, books, and clothes to give her something to open, and leave the toys to relatives. DH put up the outside lights when we got back from Thanksgiving and Christina loves them! She asks every night if we can drive or walk around and look at lights. She's actually getting better at drawing pictures that we can decipher and she has drawn a snowman to give to each of her grandmothers, which is really sweet.Polaris so sorry to hear about your previous Christmas's - I'm glad that this one should be lots of fun for you all!
I'm disappointed that so much of our Xmas is still about our extended families. I wanted Xmas eve to be here at home with the girls but dh has told his uncle that "sure we will stop by" as he can't say no to people!!! As he is sensitive and so is a pushover except with me. Lol I tried to then tell mil that we haven't discussed it and I don't know if we are going, and she gave me this huge guilt trip thing and basically bulldozed me into thinking that we have to go. I'm really irritated about it, but dh has been working too much and I haven't had a proper chance to even complain about it.
The thing about me working is that I don't need to work... Dh makes really good money. As he should as he works ALOT! But it's noticeable to me in little ways that he then thinks he has the power in the relationship. He doesn't state it like that, and I don't think he realizes he even does it. But I don't like it. He was on board with me being a sahm, but the idea was that I would eventually start daycare again. I havent worked in over 3 years now! Anyway, I looked into starting earlier this fall, I had a friend whose daycare provider was quitting. She needed daycare for her daughter who was megans age and her son who is 4. I had her come over for a playdate so we could talk about it, as I was on the fence about starting but told her I would think about it for her. Well it was horrible. I had forgotten how aggressive her son is. He was loud and obnoxious. He would get in jordans face and just act crazy. They didn't leave our house until the usual time that she would pick her kids up after work. By that time, my kids were starving. They usually eat at 5. Jordan was very tired and overstimulated. I had to put her in a dark room with white noise and let her chill out. Megan was a hyper mess. I had to put jordan down for bed early as she couldn't handle being awake any longer. She then woke up lots all night. Way more than usual. And Megan couldn't fall asleep. So I told her that timing wasn't right. A some of it was timing. I was trying to figure out how to give Jordan bottles in a dark room while watching other peoples kids. I still haven't figured that out. She will take 2-3 oz late afternoon if she is hungry enough in our living room. But her bottles before her 2 naps she won't take unless in her room in the dark with white noise. My hope is if I start the process now, maybe once approved she will be more ready. It seriously takes months to get everything done and approved.
Love the idea of paper decorations cutie! Very clever!
Polaris- that is so great that Clara will sleep other places. I think we've given up on that idea for Jordan. Well, no that's not true. She sleeps at my moms. But not mils.
The thing about me working is that I don't need to work... Dh makes really good money. As he should as he works ALOT! But it's noticeable to me in little ways that he then thinks he has the power in the relationship. He doesn't state it like that, and I don't think he realizes he even does it. But I don't like it. He was on board with me being a sahm, but the idea was that I would eventually start daycare again. I havent worked in over 3 years now! Anyway, I looked into starting earlier this fall, I had a friend whose daycare provider was quitting. She needed daycare for her daughter who was megans age and her son who is 4. I had her come over for a playdate so we could talk about it, as I was on the fence about starting but told her I would think about it for her. Well it was horrible. I had forgotten how aggressive her son is. He was loud and obnoxious. He would get in jordans face and just act crazy. They didn't leave our house until the usual time that she would pick her kids up after work. By that time, my kids were starving. They usually eat at 5. Jordan was very tired and overstimulated. I had to put her in a dark room with white noise and let her chill out. Megan was a hyper mess. I had to put jordan down for bed early as she couldn't handle being awake any longer. She then woke up lots all night. Way more than usual. And Megan couldn't fall asleep. So I told her that timing wasn't right. A some of it was timing. I was trying to figure out how to give Jordan bottles in a dark room while watching other peoples kids.
I still haven't figured that out. She will take 2-3 oz late afternoon if she is hungry enough in our living room. But her bottles before her 2 naps she won't take unless in her room in the dark with white noise. My hope is if I start the process now, maybe once approved she will be more ready. It seriously takes months to get everything done and approved.Love the idea of paper decorations cutie! Very clever!
Polaris- that is so great that Clara will sleep other places. I think we've given up on that idea for Jordan. Well, no that's not true. She sleeps at my moms. But not mils.
moomoo
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Can I join you ladies here?? I'm not sure if DS is a sensitive as yours, but I recognise some of you from threads I've written in toddler club. Sometimes I find peoples replies very matter of fact and very black and white... Reggie is such a complex little man and it's so frustrating to get "oh it's this, you need up do this.. Etc"
Usually I don't post here until I'm at wits end.
We've managed to get him to start taking naps a few times a week and he's been so different, I'm glad a few of you recommended to try and get him to take one.
Hope you are all ok? I've been away with work, and returned to chaos!
Or so it feels!
X
Usually I don't post here until I'm at wits end.
We've managed to get him to start taking naps a few times a week and he's been so different, I'm glad a few of you recommended to try and get him to take one.
Hope you are all ok? I've been away with work, and returned to chaos!
Or so it feels! X
Welcome moomoo! Im so glad he is napping now a bit for you! That is great news! Do you want to introduce yourself a bit... Tell a bit about Reggie?
I'm so tired of sick kids. It's hard enough that im sick as well. But Megan is so sensitive when sick. She is whiny and won't eat, trouble sleeping, etc. She complains that she is itchy or her clothes are scratchy, complains of being too hot or too cold. Picky about food, refusing what she just decided she wanted to eat. Her new line is "that is icky!" She has been very defiant the past few days and I'm sure us being cooped up at home and her feeling miserable aren't helping. If I had more energy I would get us out somewhere, but ive felt too miserable myself.
Omarsmum -im remembering what the whining all day sounds like and
to you as it's so hard to listen to.
Dh is finally off call today yayayay!!
I'm so tired of sick kids. It's hard enough that im sick as well. But Megan is so sensitive when sick. She is whiny and won't eat, trouble sleeping, etc. She complains that she is itchy or her clothes are scratchy, complains of being too hot or too cold. Picky about food, refusing what she just decided she wanted to eat. Her new line is "that is icky!"
She has been very defiant the past few days and I'm sure us being cooped up at home and her feeling miserable aren't helping. If I had more energy I would get us out somewhere, but ive felt too miserable myself.Omarsmum -im remembering what the whining all day sounds like and
to you as it's so hard to listen to.Dh is finally off call today yayayay!!
moomoo
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Hi Daisybee! Here goes! 
Reggie has been very very spirited since he was born, he would never be put down as a newborn, had to be held, bounced and wiggled to just stop him from crying, he hated his buggy and carseat! Luckily he liked being worn in a sling! I was told he would get better after 3-4 months... He didn't, he was still super sickly, I was told to wean him early which still didn't work, he was on gaviscon until a year. No change. We also had to go back to hospital at 2 weeks old as he failed to thrive despite constant (sometimes 12 hour stretches with NO break) feeding...
Reggie was rolling by 12 weeks, crawling by 6 and walking by 9. I now know that babies that are very tense tend to be active earlier because of the muscles they use by constantly being aggitated!
Reggie stopped being sick at around one year, and stopped napping at around 18 months (however he would still sleep in the car!) he was always fine lasting till bedtime without a nap!!
Reggie was under speech therapy from just after 2, he had barely any words even at two and would throw horrific tantrums, he is also under a dietician due to constant eating issues and problems with gagging, we also suspect him to have a posterior tongue tie - despite his problems we are still having trouble being taken seriously about this
Reggie has never been the type to sit and play with toys, he will not watch TV. He has to be constantly played with, he will not role play and seems to be very distructive! He spins on the spot with his toys and repeats phrases from program's. He can be very violent at times, and it seems that this can come from nowhere, and nothing can snap him out of it!
He's very sensitive to hot/cold/noise/possessive over toys.
His key worker at preschool thinks he could be showing signs of ADHD (she has a son who has it) and says that he shows a lot of the signs of it but is obviously well too young to be diagnosed yet.
I'm not even sure this is the right place for me? We don't seem to fit into any box?
Reggie has been very very spirited since he was born, he would never be put down as a newborn, had to be held, bounced and wiggled to just stop him from crying, he hated his buggy and carseat! Luckily he liked being worn in a sling! I was told he would get better after 3-4 months... He didn't, he was still super sickly, I was told to wean him early which still didn't work, he was on gaviscon until a year. No change. We also had to go back to hospital at 2 weeks old as he failed to thrive despite constant (sometimes 12 hour stretches with NO break) feeding...
Reggie was rolling by 12 weeks, crawling by 6 and walking by 9. I now know that babies that are very tense tend to be active earlier because of the muscles they use by constantly being aggitated!
Reggie stopped being sick at around one year, and stopped napping at around 18 months (however he would still sleep in the car!) he was always fine lasting till bedtime without a nap!!
Reggie was under speech therapy from just after 2, he had barely any words even at two and would throw horrific tantrums, he is also under a dietician due to constant eating issues and problems with gagging, we also suspect him to have a posterior tongue tie - despite his problems we are still having trouble being taken seriously about this
Reggie has never been the type to sit and play with toys, he will not watch TV. He has to be constantly played with, he will not role play and seems to be very distructive! He spins on the spot with his toys and repeats phrases from program's. He can be very violent at times, and it seems that this can come from nowhere, and nothing can snap him out of it!
He's very sensitive to hot/cold/noise/possessive over toys.
His key worker at preschool thinks he could be showing signs of ADHD (she has a son who has it) and says that he shows a lot of the signs of it but is obviously well too young to be diagnosed yet.
I'm not even sure this is the right place for me? We don't seem to fit into any box?
polaris
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Hi Moomoo, lovely to see you over here.
That's great news that you've got Reggie napping a few days a week now and that his behaviour has improved. I didn't read your other thread until just now but Thomas tried to stop napping a couple of months ago and he just turned into a totally different child. We managed to get him back napping again and his behaviour is just sooo much better. Thomas is very sensitive to becoming over-tired and it has given me a new appreciation of how important getting enough sleep can be for children and I really think that more attention should be paid to the possibility of chronic over-tiredness when diagnosing conditions such as ADHD as I think the observable symptoms can be very similar.
Don't worry about "not fitting into the box", I think all of our children are different but also have some similarities, so we can all learn from one another, what works and what doesn't and then figure out which bits fit for our own children.
That's great news that you've got Reggie napping a few days a week now and that his behaviour has improved. I didn't read your other thread until just now but Thomas tried to stop napping a couple of months ago and he just turned into a totally different child. We managed to get him back napping again and his behaviour is just sooo much better. Thomas is very sensitive to becoming over-tired and it has given me a new appreciation of how important getting enough sleep can be for children and I really think that more attention should be paid to the possibility of chronic over-tiredness when diagnosing conditions such as ADHD as I think the observable symptoms can be very similar.
Don't worry about "not fitting into the box", I think all of our children are different but also have some similarities, so we can all learn from one another, what works and what doesn't and then figure out which bits fit for our own children.
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Hi moomoo 
Big hugs Hun I know Reggie is hard work from your posts. Omar will only nap in the car, he dropped his nap few months back, for the past month since we weaned him off the dummy, he will not even take breaks or any relax time!
Glad Reggie is taking some naps during the week, it's exhausting when they're always on the run.
We still have issues with bedtime! It takes him 1-1.5 hrs to fall asleep! His sleep is very restless, he keeps kicking off his cover & he's moving a lot while sleeping, he's back to waking up at night.
Those of you with boys, did you notice a major change when they hit 3 yrs? I mean Omar was so quiet in general, but now he's too loud! I was told there is a hormonal change at this age.
Yesterday was a good day in general, he didn't whine at all, he cried once, but it was fine.
He's also eating a lot & asking for food all day. So it could be a growth spurt?
I noticed some changes those days,. He's asking to eat alone which is a progress, he's drinking from an open cup perfectly, he doesn't want me to help when I give him a bath, he wants to do it on his own, he managed to ride his balance bike for few mins but when he fell, he gave up. He figured out how to take off his t-shirt & he can wear it alone.
Still not much progress with potty training. He's without nappies at home, he's dry day & night but he asks for a nappy when he wants to poo. He's in a pull up when we go out, but he stays dry & he will wee once we go back home in the toilet.
Big hugs Hun
I know Reggie is hard work from your posts. Omar will only nap in the car, he dropped his nap few months back, for the past month since we weaned him off the dummy, he will not even take breaks or any relax time! Glad Reggie is taking some naps during the week, it's exhausting when they're always on the run.
We still have issues with bedtime! It takes him 1-1.5 hrs to fall asleep! His sleep is very restless, he keeps kicking off his cover & he's moving a lot while sleeping, he's back to waking up at night.
Those of you with boys, did you notice a major change when they hit 3 yrs? I mean Omar was so quiet in general, but now he's too loud! I was told there is a hormonal change at this age.
Yesterday was a good day in general, he didn't whine at all, he cried once, but it was fine.
He's also eating a lot & asking for food all day. So it could be a growth spurt?
I noticed some changes those days,. He's asking to eat alone which is a progress, he's drinking from an open cup perfectly, he doesn't want me to help when I give him a bath, he wants to do it on his own, he managed to ride his balance bike for few mins but when he fell, he gave up. He figured out how to take off his t-shirt & he can wear it alone.
Still not much progress with potty training. He's without nappies at home, he's dry day & night but he asks for a nappy when he wants to poo. He's in a pull up when we go out, but he stays dry & he will wee once we go back home in the toilet.
Tacey
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Polaris, I do hope this Christmas is really enjoyable for you. Your accident last year sounds terrifying! I know how difficult the shopping is. I've done most of mine now, but still need to sort DH. He very inconsiderately was born in December, so I'm now all out of present ideas!
Cutie - Good luck with work, I hope you meet your deadlines comfortably. It sounds like Christina is really getting into the Christmas spirit. You'll have a lovely time at home, I'm sure. When do you finish work this year?
Your friend's little boy sounds like a handful Daisybee! Will you be able to pick and choose the children you offer daycare to? I think you're right that by the time all the paperwork etc. is done, both your girls will be more ready. It's amazing how things change even in a few weeks. I hope everyone in your house is back in full health soon.
Hi moomoo! Lovely to 'meet' you! Good news your little boy is coping better with the naps. Alice doesn't nap, but does go to bed at 5pm. Sleep is crucial to her functioning properly. I agree with Polaris. None of our children sound like carbon copies of each other. We all have our individual issues and joys, but there are some common threads. It seems like you're in just the right place to me! Feel free to vent to people who won't judge
It sounds like Omar has come on a lot recently. Maybe that was the source of the whining. I've noticed Alice tends to regress before making a developmental leap. Is he able to explain why he wants a nappy to poo in? It sounds like he's cracked it aside from that.
Since DH finished work, I've had a lot more energy, and I'm getting on so well with Alice. I've noticed her issues with sensitivity are more pronounced if she's under stress. Our one niggle is hair washing. She loves the bath but won't wet her hair. We've tried so many things. She's got lots of food, paint and glitter in it, so I really wanted to get it done. Today she let me put the shampoo on (onto dry hair! Better than nothing!), but then freaked out, and tried to get out of the bath. In the end, I just forcibly rinsed it. I felt awful. Once out of the bath, she ran to her room and stood naked and dripping, and screamed at full volume for half an hour. She didn't want me to leave, but she wouldn't let me touch her or put a towel on her. Then she collapsed in my arms and sobbed. I felt like I'd betrayed her trust. I can't let that happen again, but I don't know how to approach it.
Cutie - Good luck with work, I hope you meet your deadlines comfortably. It sounds like Christina is really getting into the Christmas spirit. You'll have a lovely time at home, I'm sure. When do you finish work this year?
Your friend's little boy sounds like a handful Daisybee! Will you be able to pick and choose the children you offer daycare to? I think you're right that by the time all the paperwork etc. is done, both your girls will be more ready. It's amazing how things change even in a few weeks. I hope everyone in your house is back in full health soon.
Hi moomoo! Lovely to 'meet' you! Good news your little boy is coping better with the naps. Alice doesn't nap, but does go to bed at 5pm. Sleep is crucial to her functioning properly. I agree with Polaris. None of our children sound like carbon copies of each other. We all have our individual issues and joys, but there are some common threads. It seems like you're in just the right place to me! Feel free to vent to people who won't judge
It sounds like Omar has come on a lot recently. Maybe that was the source of the whining. I've noticed Alice tends to regress before making a developmental leap. Is he able to explain why he wants a nappy to poo in? It sounds like he's cracked it aside from that.
Since DH finished work, I've had a lot more energy, and I'm getting on so well with Alice. I've noticed her issues with sensitivity are more pronounced if she's under stress. Our one niggle is hair washing. She loves the bath but won't wet her hair. We've tried so many things. She's got lots of food, paint and glitter in it, so I really wanted to get it done. Today she let me put the shampoo on (onto dry hair! Better than nothing!), but then freaked out, and tried to get out of the bath. In the end, I just forcibly rinsed it. I felt awful. Once out of the bath, she ran to her room and stood naked and dripping, and screamed at full volume for half an hour. She didn't want me to leave, but she wouldn't let me touch her or put a towel on her. Then she collapsed in my arms and sobbed. I felt like I'd betrayed her trust. I can't let that happen again, but I don't know how to approach it.
polaris
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Wow it really does sound like Omar is making great progress at the moment. I agree with Tacey, that could well be part of the reason he's been so whiny recently. Since Thomas has turned three I have seen big changes in him too, he seems so grown up in so many ways recently. He has physically grown suddenly taller and the shape of his face has become more grown up looking. He is also more independent in some ways recently (although this hasn't reduced the clinginess to me yet) - he is walking more rather than insisting on going in the buggy all the time, he is talking more to people outside the family, and he even interacted a bit with a couple of other children at soft-play during the week! He was playing chasing with a little girl of about the same age and he was helping another little boy to put the balls on top of the thing that blows air. This is a big thing for us as normally he carefully avoids any contact with children he doesn't know - waiting until there's no-one else there to go on the slide, backing away quickly if another child approaches, etc. Thomas got his balance bike for his birthday at the end of October so a good few weeks before Omar, and in the last two weeks he has really mastered it and he absolutely loves it now! He wants to go on the bike all the time and he flies along. He is so proud of himself that he can do it now, it's lovely to see!
polaris
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Tacey, the issue with hair-washing sounds very stressful. Big hugs. I'm not sure how I would approach it. What bit of it does she really dislike - is it having water poured over her head? I don't suppose she would lie back in the bath? It actually sounds like it is turning into a slight phobia for her. I agree that forcibly washing her hair isn't going to help matters because it's only going to increase her aversion to it and it's just not the sort of interaction that you want to have with her. Is there any way you could get her on board with trying to overcome the problem? Maybe sit down with her and talk about it, describing what the problem is and ask her for suggestions about what you could do to help her to get over it and try to come up with a plan together.
For a phobia, the most effective way to overcome it is through a process called graduated exposure. Basically you break the fear down into smaller chunks and tackle them in a gradual way. So if you have a fear of dogs, you might start by looking at pictures of dogs, then looking at real dogs from a safe distance, then gradually working up to petting a dog and so on. I'm trying to think of a way to break hair-washing down into smaller steps like that to help her to get over her hatred of hair-washing in a more gradual way. Maybe you could start by getting her to pour water over her shoulders, then allowing you to pour water over her shoulders, then moving on to allowing you to pour water over the back of her head, and gradually working your way up. For this approach to work you would have to get her to agree to it, so she needs to be motivated to help you to solve the problem. She probably doesn't see an issue with just not washing her hair at all so you need to help her to understand why it's important. Personally I would probably be inclined to use some form of reward to motivate her to work on overcoming her hatred of hair-washing, but I don't think you do rewards, but maybe there's some form of natural consequence that might help to motivate her - definitely worth giving a bit of thought to what is in it for her to let you wash her hair.
For a phobia, the most effective way to overcome it is through a process called graduated exposure. Basically you break the fear down into smaller chunks and tackle them in a gradual way. So if you have a fear of dogs, you might start by looking at pictures of dogs, then looking at real dogs from a safe distance, then gradually working up to petting a dog and so on. I'm trying to think of a way to break hair-washing down into smaller steps like that to help her to get over her hatred of hair-washing in a more gradual way. Maybe you could start by getting her to pour water over her shoulders, then allowing you to pour water over her shoulders, then moving on to allowing you to pour water over the back of her head, and gradually working your way up. For this approach to work you would have to get her to agree to it, so she needs to be motivated to help you to solve the problem. She probably doesn't see an issue with just not washing her hair at all so you need to help her to understand why it's important. Personally I would probably be inclined to use some form of reward to motivate her to work on overcoming her hatred of hair-washing, but I don't think you do rewards, but maybe there's some form of natural consequence that might help to motivate her - definitely worth giving a bit of thought to what is in it for her to let you wash her hair.
Tacey
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Thanks Polaris. That's really useful. I think our issue is just that - there's really nothing in it for her! She's perfectly happy to walk around with food ad glue in her hair. I'm tempted to say it won't look/smell nice, but I'm not sure drawing a 3 year old's attention to how they look is a great idea. Her biggest fear is water in her ears. Even when we've had her lying in 2 inches of water, or just wiping with a wet flannel, she's terrified it will go in her ears - perhaps connected to her sensitivity to noise? I like the graduated exposure idea ('flooding' certainly hasn't worked!) but we'll have to think about the motivation. I wouldn't be averse to some sort of connected reward at this stage!
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