Sensitive kids group

[Quartz]

Omarsmum - I think you have made the right decision its easier to move him up later on that move him back. In infants we had a girl born in October come and join us but it was decided in junior school to move her back down and she struggled and ended up moving schools.

Daisybee - hoping the appt went well. in terms of temperment at home Samy is definitely challenging and feisty but out and about the slow to warm up group. Charlie so far is the easy and flexible group and long may it continue. Twice in the past two days when out he has fallen asleep in one of Samys teachers arms (at a school open morning) and a parent (birthday). People will ask if he will be ok to come to them for a hug and I find it odd to say its fine!I know we might get some separation anxiety but samy was born with it!

Tennisgal sounds like it is slight over tiredness I remember Samy going through something similar at the same age.

Polaris - yay on the jobfront. Not looking forward to going back even if it is just 2 days a week

We have had mainly a good week with a couple of interesting things some very good and some not so good.

First the not so good. It turns out Samy cant handle being wrong. On sunday she said she was a tall as another girl in class and one of the tallest and my mum gently coorected her and she cried and I put it down to wantig to be tall. Last night though she wanted to put a drawing she had cut out and put on the wall back on the piece of paper it used to be on and I said it never was on another piece and boy did she cry. Eventually I got out of her that she was crying as I said she was wrong!

Linked to this is a desire to win (we are getting better at board games and at a party today she was fine with musical statutes but we have been working hard at this!). She came second in an art competion at school which is great (and a huge relief) but she then told me that she was glad it was not third and she never wanted to bve third!

The good news is that she is making great strides socially. We had a coffee morning at school where you go in for 45 minutes of the session and when we got there she was playing cars with 4 others and looked the same and during song time spoke up. Her keyworker said how pleased they were and how with perservance we got there (there were times when we were not sure. On a side note 3 parents did not bother turning up and it was so sad to see them wondering where there mum/dad/grandparent was.

The other is an extension of this we went to a party today where the little birthday girl had picked Samy as one of four school friends (out of 24) to come to her party (the others we have been to in the past have been the whole class or my friends) and it wass so nice. they went of upstairs for a bit and did there own thing.

 

[polaris]

TG - You are a fantastic mum, not rubbish at all, and I hope you know it! I think it's OK to get cross sometimes, we are only human and we have emotions too. I have an awful temper at times and I have been really trying to work on this. One positive outcome is that I get to model apologizing quite regularly - I posted several months ago about Thomas having a problem saying sorry - well he must hear me saying "sorry for shouting" to him so often that now he has no problem saying it himself when needed! Re the kicking, I can totally understand how upsetting it is but it's probably just one of those things, as you say it's probably just tiredness rather than anything more serious than that. I guess nearly all children will hit out aggressively at some stage if only to try it out. I bet you have handled it really well with Lizzie and that it won't turn into an issue at all.

Daisybee, hope you are OK after your dad's appointment hun.

Quartz, that's really lovely that Samy is getting on so well with other kids. We are not quite there yet but we went to toddler group today and Thomas played a bit with another little boy of about the same age which I was really pleased about, and he was much more independent too, he mainly did his own thing the whole time we were there rather than wanting to play with me all the time which is what he used to do. Mind you, I asked him afterwards if the boy he was playing with was nice and he said "no" Oh well, one step at a time.

We had a lovely moment this evening which I just wanted to share. He was watching his Bob the Builder DVD and he is allowed to watch three episodes. So at the end of the third episode I pressed pause and stopped it and he started freaking out, I thought he wanted to watch more but it turned out that he wanted to stop it himself when the screen went black after the music stops, so I stopped it too early. He was so upset about it, really hysterical crying and his heart racing and just totally worked up. Anyway I gave him a hug and I lay on the couch holding him for a bit and helped him slow down his breathing and calm down. Then when he was calm, I asked him to choose a book for his bedtime story and he said OK and then he turned around to me and said "Thank you for letting me lie on your tummy for a few minutes" and I just found it so moving, just the sweetest thing. Anyway, just a tiny little thing really but it was just so nice especially coming after the meltdown.

 

[TennisGal]

That was so lovely to read, thank you xxxx

 

[Quartz]

Tennisgal I agree with Polaris we all get cross I sometimes particularly when I am tired get into a battle of wills with Samy - I did last night with the tantrum over not being right and halfway through I realise I should have handled it much better and just hugged her rather than getting cross but its hard!

Polaris - its been a long hard road - we are not quite there but its positive and glad Thomas is getting there too and so sweet about laying on your tummy. Samy also gets upset about the remote control too! God knows what will happen when Charlie cam grab it

 

[DaisyBee]

My dad has bile duct cancer. It has spread to his lymph nodes and stomach. I'm a mess but wanted to update. I'll talk more later. everyone.

 

[cutie4evr01]

Oh DaisyBee to you and your family - I am so sad to hear that. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.

Sorry I haven't posted much lately - I have been very busy with work this week. I have been reading along though and I'm so pleased to hear that all the children seem to be progressing or coping better with their sensitivities.

 

[Tacey]

Daisybee, I'm so, so sorry. Wish I could give you a real one of these . Praying for you all.

 

[polaris]

Daisybee, I'm so so sorry to hear about your dad.

 

[TennisGal]

So very, very sorry DaisyBee. Praying for your dad xxx

 

[Jchihuahua]

I'm so sorry to hear that Daisybee. Sending hugs, prayers and positive thoughts for your dad .

 

[Quartz]

so sorry Daisybee

 

[OmarsMum]

SO so sorry Daisybee big hugs to you & your family

 

[DaisyBee]

Thanks everyone. His stents haven't worked so he is still jaundice. They are going to try again next Friday for stents. The wednesday after he goes in for chemo if the stents work. He has to not be jaundice before they start chemo. They aren't doing surgery to try to remove anything. Its just not possible with his. They said they have no idea how well the chemo will work as everyone is different.

He had his gallbladder out and had pancreatitis 1 1/2 years ago or so and this wasn't there then. His ultrasound he had at his hospital didn't show any of this up, only the ct did.

I was very emotional last night. Prognoses isn't good. I wasn't able to hide my crying from Megan. She is catching a cold, and was awake a few times through the night with coughing. She was also having lots of bad dreams and waking crying and talking about those. Jordan also is in lots of pain with her teething. She was awake last night as well. I can't remember when I've had such a rough night with them.

I need to get over the emotional being a mess stage so that I can be support. I think we will be staying with them quite a bit. I want to wait until Megan is over this cold a bit, so may be trying to go down sometime next week.

 

[polaris]

Daisybee, I'm so sorry. I think it isn't possible to hide your emotion from Megan so don't beat yourself up over that. After all, emotion is part of life and children do need to see that their parents experience strong emotions too, I know though because Megan is so sensitive and empathetic it has a bigger impact on her. It's horrible timing for them to be getting colds and teeth too. Really hope you get a better night's sleep tonight.

 

[polaris]

Poor Clara is coming down with another cold. I don't believe it, we are only just over the last one about two days ago.

 

[Jchihuahua]

Oh Daisybee. I am so sorry . I agree with Polaris that it will be very difficult to hide your emotion from Megan.

We're all hear to listen if it all gets too much and you just want to talk about it or rant or anything,

 

[Jchihuahua]

Polaris I am sorry Clara is getting poorly again. Tommy is finally on the mend but he has been ill this whole month and it is horrid to see them like that .

That incident where Thomas lay on your tummy was so sweet!

Omar's Mum: I personally feel like the decision you made was the same as I would make.

Quartz: Great to hear how well Samy is doing socially!

TG: Lizzie's kicking reminds me of the incident with Daisy pushing and hitting at nursery. She has never shown aggression to other children before ever and it came as a horrible shock to me and I actually felt so upset about it I was in tears. I think I was actually more upset than if she'd been the one who had been hit. Hopefully this is a short developmental phase which will pass quickly for both of them.

Daisy has been an impeccably behaved child this last week!!! I've never known her to be so well behaved! This is all new to me! She's been really good at pre-school, apart from her wariness of other children and the support she's needing in sharing, and she has enjoyed it a lot. They've commented on her lovely manners which pleased me. She's been so different at home and I think it must be the influence of pre-school. She has had no meltdowns, or even any misbehaviour at all. She's accepted being told no, been kind to Tommy, done everything she has been asked and has generally been an absolute delight (apart from the sleeping!). We took her out for a treat today as she's had such an amazing week. I hope this is a phase that lasts! I have been off work with flu Wed, Thurs, Fri and she's been happy having me home so I hope she doesn't get upset when I'm back at work on Monday. When her behaviour is good I feel like a much better mum too. I haven't had to get cross or snapped at her or ended up in tears at all this last week and I feel so much better for it.

 

[polaris]

https://us2.campaign-archive2.com/?u=775b94b440ad73397931a9ad7&id=94e4d40a7a&e=12872dfe9a

Read this the other day and found it quite useful. For any of us who sometimes struggle to stay calm and collected!

 

[cutie4evr01]

DaisyBee, I am so sorry. I echo the others in that we are here to listen whenever you need to talk.

Polaris, sorry to hear that Clara is already feeling poorly again, she has been through so much already. I'm looking forward to the winter ending so hopefully some of these sick germs will make their way out. Thanks for that article - I am not a shouter (most of the time), but I have been struggling to keep calm lately so I will certainly keep some of those tips in mind.

JC, I'm so happy to hear about Daisy's behavior sounds like she is doing terrific with school and glad it's carrying over to home.
Omarsmum, I think I would have chosen to do the same as you did.

We had a horrible day today, and I really believe most of it is down to overtiredness. I don't know how to get her to sleep! For several nights now she hasn't been to sleep until after 9 (despite being put to bed between 7 and 7:30), and has woken by 5 (although she has to stay in her room until 6 because we have a sleep training clock in there). So several nights of this has resulted in an accumulation of sleep deficit that she just can't seem to shake. Today was one big meltdown after another, for all sorts of things - she was pushing Caitlyn's stroller and didn't want me to help, even though she can't see over the top and was likely to run into someone or something; she didn't like the books I had in the car; she refused to put on her coat to go play outside; and countless more I can't remember right now.

I am struggling with when to tell her to stop doing things and when to just allow them for the sake of "picking my battles". I don't like to be getting on to her all day, but I also feel certain things I can't let go or I will end up with a bratty child later. For instance today she has done a lot of talking back/bossing me around, such as when she wanted to push the stroller by herself, she was saying "let go Mommy, don't touch that" (in a rude tone, accompanied by pushing my hand away). I told her that she shouldn't talk to me like that and if she continued pushing my hand off then Daddy would have to carry her, so she continued and Daddy carried her, but she screamed the whole way to the car. I think that was the trigger that set the whole day off badly. In retrospect I wonder if that was one of the things I should let go as she's only little still and may not realize that is rude, but on the other hand I feel strongly that she needs to be respectful to people, including me, and it's my job to teach her how. Of course I try to model respectful behavior, but in instances like this is she too young to punish disrespectful behavior (or does she even know it's disrespectful)? I feel like I am always second guessing my parenting decisions/approaches. Anyway, thanks for listening to (or reading) my rant.

 

[OmarsMum]

Will read other posts later. Had horrible 3 days. My cousin stayed over wih her 3 yrs daughter for 3 days. It was like hell. The girl didn't leave Omar alone, she doesn't speak English & Omar decided not to speak Arabic around her

She wanted each & every toy he was playing with, she hit him, spit & threw his toys around. Even when we left the playroom to her she didn't leave him alone. I gave a 1 hr bath to keep him away from her yesterday, but she followed us & threw a huge tantrum as she wanted to take a bath with him!

He was good at sharing but the girl is so rude! She's twice his size. She didn't stop teasing him saying that he was a baby as his mum is spoon feeding him. She also teased him when he was wearing a nappy when we went out. Omar didn't stop crying for 3 days

They finally left today!