Sensitive kids group

[Quartz]

Its been awhile since anyone posted!

Anyway we are having a bit of trouble at the moment and I think I just need to get it out! As I have said Samy settled in fine to preschool, she was not the most talkative or gregarious of children but then she is not! Our summer was fine and we had plenty of playdates and she was starting to be like any other children albeit still very sensitive.

So them in September we started school and for the first half term it was fine she had her moments of tears but we could get her there ok and she said she was enjoying it, she even for the first time made a best friend who called her a best friend too.

But now its all gone a bit wrong! The reason being I have started back to work following my maternity leave with CHarlie and I am in the office Thursday and Friday and for those two days my mum and dad take her (they looked after her before when I worked). Both mornings as soon as I leave she is in hysterics and they are having real issues getting her to school (she just says she wants mummy to cuddle her) and once they do get her to school she just wont speak to anyone, she has decided those that were her friends aren't anymore and she just withdraws at school to either crying or not wanting to do anything. The teachers dont seem to know what to do with her, her friends tried but bless them they are 4/5 so obviously go off and do there own thing. The slightest thing at home she cries and stamps her feet and balls her hands as she is not getting her own way.

I feel terrible as its me working the two days that are I think partly causing the problem - although I think some of it is how she feels about school that me being around was like a plaster than now I have gone back has been ripped off and we are left with a wound that we need to figure out how to heal and I just dont know what we can do. I cant not work (however much I would like to) as we need the money and I partly need it for my sanity. Its getting mum and dad down dealing with up to an hour of crying to get her to school in the morning and poor Charlie was is also dealing with me going back to work is being pushed to the sidelines (although he is coping just fine!)

 

[cutie4evr01]

Quartz, I'm sorry to hear that Samy is upset recently (and I'm sure it's been difficult for you coping with going back to work also). I'm afraid I don't really have any advice, but wanted to offer some . I'm sure you may have already tried this, but are you giving her extra time and attention once you get home from work? And on the other days during the week when you are home and she is in a calm and pleasant mood, you can talk about how you'll have to be going to work 2 days/wk in order to help out your family and provide her the things she needs/wants, but that you always love her just as much and you will give extra cuddles when you return. For us, it has been more effective to discuss the changes/feelings/reassurances at times other than when I'm trying to rush out the door. Also you can reassure that your parents give good cuddles also. I'm sure it will just be an adjustment period for her.

We've had some difficulty getting out the door recently and Christina has responded very well to using a sticker chart. I made one that says "brush teeth, go potty, socks and shoes on, coat on, brush hair", etc., and for each item that she does when she's told and without whining and dawdling, she gets a sticker. If her chart is mostly full at the end of the week, she can pick out a small prize. Perhaps your parents could try something like this to attempt to distract her a little from missing you when they are trying to leave for school. I understand that your problem sounds like she's just very sad rather than not cooperating, but it might be something she would enjoy doing (and maybe something special for her and your parents to do).

Christina lately has been chewing on her hair and her sleeves a lot - I think she's experiencing some anxiety. I've tried talking to her about whether she enjoys going to school (she says yes) or whether anything is bothering her (she says no), so I'm not sure what to do. I started a new job about 3 months ago and I get home later in the evenings on my work days, so I think that's part of it. Also, I think she's dealing with the stresses of preschool friends (such as "Hali didn't want to play with me today", or "I asked Aubrey to sit with me and she said no", or "Carter pushed me on the playground and I fell down", etc.). It's sad to me to hear her dealing with even these small rejections, because I know she is internalizing them deeply. I'm not really sure how to respond either - so far I've just told her that sometimes people like to play with other people and if they don't want to play with her that day then she can have fun playing by herself or with a new friend, and likely she will play with them another day. She doesn't discuss these things with my DH, so I feel like it's her way of confiding in me and I don't know if I'm handling it right! I've tried to spend some extra time with her in the evenings, and be more conscious about not brushing her off to deal with Caitlyn. As you said, it's difficult to balance the needs of both.

Anyway, big , and I hope Samy is able to adjust to your new routine and settle in again shortly!

 

[DaisyBee]

Cutie - I think you gave some good advice. Also adding.... Once megan has it in her head that she isn't going to like something or something went wrong last time... It will continue just for the sake of continuing. If something is going well for her it seems like it continues that way. Then one thing will happen and boom, it's all downhill. Change is very hard on Megan and I feel like she is just getting adapted to preschool after almost 3 months. I've noticed as well that Thursday's go better for her as she just went Tuesday, where as Tuesday's she hasn't been since the Thursday from the prior week and it's a bigger transition.

Megan is very prone to anxiety. Both girls had croup early november and Jordan was extra gaggy and one evening I gave her honey for her throat as Megan finds it soothing, jordan hated it and started crying and gagging and then vomited all over. Megan panicked about the vomiting and since then anytime Jordan is coughing or crying Megan freaks out and worries that she will throw up and she said she didn't like the sound of the throwing up and it's really messing with her head. A special needs boy cries sometimes in her class and she then was worried that he would throw up and she got it into her head that she didn't want to go to preschool anymore.

Our key has been getting stuck in the car sometimes, it isn't wanting to come out when you shut the car off. It does eventually come out and we just need to take it in. But anytime it doesn't come out Megan starts crying and having almost a panic attack.

She bites her hands and I've had to reintroduce her chewy toys which she hasn't wanted to use in a while. She also likes chewing gum and I've noticed on the way to school she always asks for gum so I think chewing is calming still to her.

We've been going to a Thursday evening class again as well, and Megan is still doing dance. Dh is working a ton of hours and sometimes it feels like we barely see him. He is stressed out and needs a vacation.

Jordan is busy busy busy! She is wanting to do anything Megan does. Her dr says both girls are persistent. She just had an appt last week for shots and she is 45 %ile weight and 75%ile height which is same height as Megan but 2 lbs heavier. She was loving her bottle and I just switched her to cups which was tough on her, but she was addicted to her bottle and guzzling milk all day.
I don't feel like jordan is as sensitive as Megan. She does seem to notice things but things dont bother her. She is fine with noises unless she hears Megan freaking out. She is also more physical than Megan. She was late at walking ( 15 1/2 months ) but is already ahead of where Megan was at 2 with agility and coordination. She goes up and down slides by herself ( Megan wasn't doing that at 20 months!) up and down off her booster chair by herself, on and off megans very tall bed( pillow top mattress and climbs right over top of the guard rail) and already wants to climb up and down stairs standing vs backwards on her knees. And her dancing is so good! She watches Megan during dance class and copying moves. Megan would just bounce and shake as a toddler for dancing - Jordan moves her arms in graceful moves and spins and looks so graceful! It shocks me. Lol

Today Megan said I smelled like makeup and it was stinky, lol.. She still notices everything. If I make a meal with a different ingredient she notices, if I change brands, she notices. Little details that everyne else seems to miss - she sees it. She is right now obsessed with writing abc's which is new for her. She makes up songs and poems all day long, makes up knock knock jokes, and asking questions. The questions and curiosity about how everything works is nonstop lately. She wants to know what eyes are made of and how does a tv work and what are shirts made from, who makes them, etc. She doesn't want short answers either, she wants to really understand things. Her mind seems to be on overdrive.

I'm busy making food for an early thanksgiving this weekend with my family. My dad is still doing chemo as his cancer has grown. His body is starting to not tolerate the chemo though so its a matter of time til they will have to stop. He is only on 80% right now. His kidneys arent working very well and they are worried about them shutting down completely. He has another scan in 2 weeks. He had a blood transfusion Tuesday. His different counts have been too low. 2 weeks ago I realized that instead of feeling like he is sick I feel like he is dying. Its been a tough few weeks for me and ive been very depressed and crying more than I was. Megan and I've talked about grandpa being sick and sometime he will be going to heaven. It was a very hard conversation and yet I felt important as she is old enough to see what's happening and I would prefer her deal with this not all at once - once he is gone.

 

[DaisyBee]

Oh and the sticker chart for getting ready to leave the house.... LOVE that idea and going to use it, Megan is always so hard to get her to get ready.

 

[LaughOutLoud]

Hey guys,

Its been a while since I last came here. Id forgotten about it and tbh I remembered because I was thinking of your dad Daisybee.

Daisybee- Im sorry to hear that you feel your dad is not doing so well now. I think you are right in talking to DD about it from now so she can start to process the changes rather than it all becoming too overpowering for her. Sending you hugs through difficult time.

Im sorry ive not read any of the other posts (theres a lot ive missed) but will come back to it hopefully.

tk cr everyone xx

 

[DaisyBee]

Laughoutloud - thanks for your last post. I was going to respond when I read it, but something obviously happened and then forgot. Lol my dads scan was good. The first time they have seen any type of shrinkage in the cancer! Not that he is doing great... But any good news is nice to cling to.

Both my girls are sick with colds and I've debated keeping Megan out of preschool this week ( tues and thurs am) it's the last 2 days before Xmas break. And with both girls miserable sick... I don't want them to catch anything else before Xmas!! My Xmas with my parents is the weekend before Xmas. It feels selfish but she has been sick so much and catching it all from preschool. Last tuesday I hadn't left yet and I saw a boy sneeze right in megans face. Nice.

Our Xmas tree is up and starting to wrap our presents. Megan refuses to let us watch any xmas shows. She refuses to watch movies either as she is convinced they will be too scary or sad which is frustrating that she won't even try. She has such a meltdown over the conversation about it that it's not worth it. I started shrek Xmas since it is so short... We got less than 5 minutes in and she was crying and demanding it be turned off.

I miss our group! And haven't heard from some of you for forever!! Hope everyone is doing well.

 

[DaisyBee]

I wanted to say that some of us started describing our children best around page 5.... Some of the first few pages arent really dealing with sensitive issues as much. There is so much we have all written.. It's amazing to read back from over a year ago!

 

[hattiehippo]

Haven't posted here for ages - I have long periods of denial about Tom and then something happens to kick it off again. Also Tom's behaviour is often more about control and having his own way - though this is probably his way of coping with finding the world a difficult place. Plus my MIL has been very ill with a brain tumour so that's been our priority recently. Luckily she's all on the mend now and back home.

That sounds like good news about your dad Daisybee - fingers crossed the news keeps going in that direction.

Tom went to a birthday party yesterday with a kid's entertainer who did songs and games and a magic show. He hated every single minute but I didn't realise how badly until we got home. He sat on my knee the whole way through and refused to join in which was fine I didn't push him, and he loved having a pink and purple butterfly painted on his face. Yesterday evening though was so bad. At dinner time he started crying and sobbing and demanding to go to bed. He then fell asleep an hour earlier than normal. 20 mins in he woke up screaming and sobbing about the scary man and it took us ages to calm him down. This carried on in the same pattern for the next 2 1/2 hours. Even sleeping in my arms he woke up sobbing after 20 mins.

Wierd thing is he doesn't remember anything about it at all today. He was very confused why his pants were on under his pyjamas this morning - he wouldn't let us take them off last night. And he hasn't mentioned the man at all but did talk about the lovely butterfly on his face

He's very happy at preschool and is going to be a shepherd in their Nativity play on Friday. His keyworker is amazing - she has spent 8 weeks persuading him to join in and say his lines with the other children (he knows every single line of the play cos he acts it out at home!) and he's finally agreed to put on a shepherd's costume rather than his princess dress but that has taken a huge amount of work.

I really am not sure how he is going to cope with school full time next year. With the right teacher and other children he will be fine hopefully but even with his lovely keyworker and the fact he's been with the other kids at nursery for 2+ yrs now, he still finds the social aspect hard and prefers the 2 days at home with me. I think we're just going to have to suck it and see really.

 

[seaweed eater]

I loved reading your descriptions of your children's temperaments! I will do that for mine too so that I'm not a creepy lurker anymore

For now, if any of you have tips about travel, I'd love to hear them. We're leaving soon on a trip which will involve multiple locations, huge time changes, new foods, and dozens of hours on planes. I'm really dreading it but it's to visit family, and I'm hoping it will get us out of making similar trips guilt-free for a few more years. We decided to take LO's pack n play, even though it's huge and heavy, so that he at least has a consistent place to sleep. Obviously will try to limit stimulation/activities and do our best to get enough rest. I'd love to hear any other tips. We have never flown with LO before -- we have stayed away from home overnight a couple times, and the biggest problem was sleep (just new environment, no time change).

 

[DaisyBee]

We've not been on a plane with ours yet. We were too scared when Megan was younger. so props to you! Megan does not sleep other places ( in cars, etc) so when discussing the idea of taking trips we said we wouldn't travel during nap time if we could help it. Leave after breakfast type thing. We've always had her blankie and I bring other blankets that are familiar to her if we are away from home. We've done lots of hotels and my parents house but that is very familiar to her. Hotel we always got a suite so she could sleep in a separate room. We brought her white noise she is used to as well. Brought the same bedtime books she is used to. So even though it was different there was some similarity. I heard someone say to sleep or have them sleep with the crib sheet at home before you leave so it smells like them/home.

For Megan at that age I would have packed busy but calming things like Aquadoodle and books vs watching a DVD for the plane. She can handle things like her leap pad now but at that age she wouldn't have and would have been overstimulating.

If possible I would buy some similar foods.. When Megan was younger her food sensitivity wasn't obvious at all but as she has gotten older it's a really big deal to her. Even just a same cup for drinking out of.

Where in the us are you? Where are you traveling?

 

[seaweed eater]

LO was always very alert and interested in things, from birth. He loves to fight sleep -- never wants to miss a thing. He also started getting too distracted to nurse well from very early on.

He doesn't like messy or wet textures. At daycare they do finger painting projects and he has never liked them, or other messy play. He refuses wet finger foods, even firm ones (like most fruit and vegetables). He is very picky about food in general. We are getting better at working around his preferences, but he never went through a phase where he ate lots of stuff. Always picky like a toddler.

I didn't start out thinking I would be a routine-loving parent, but he seems to do well on routines so we've incorporated a lot of them.

He is very aware of context and place, and adjusts his behavior a lot in different places. There were a few weeks after he learned to walk when he was nearly running nonstop around the house but wouldn't walk independently at all in a new place. It seems to take him about half an hour to adjust to a new place.

He loves to hang back and watch. Often at the playground he wants to sit in the swing or the sandbox and just observe the other children. When strangers speak to him, he either just stares at them or buries his head in my shoulder. People often say he is "shy." They also often say he is "mellow," which is funny because he is not really mellow at all, but he is so reserved in new situations that he can seem mellow.

He is cautious about approaching and trying new things. He always develops motor milestones slowly because he wants to practice and practice before doing something on his own. He also is often scared of new objects in his environment and takes a long time to approach them. At daycare they have a mesh pop-up tunnel that the babies crawl through. After several months he finally tried it himself, but apparently he always waits until there is no one else around so that he doesn't get stuck!

He has a lot of fears that many babies don't seem to have -- elevators, parking garages, bubbles, stuffed animals. He loves dogs from far away but gets very upset when they come close.

Aside from his sensitivity to food texture, he is a very light sleeper and also has started complaining about his clothes -- not sure what exactly. Waiting for him to be able to tell me better using words.

He has always been very socially perceptive and has strong social and verbal skills.

In addition to all of this, he has a very cheerful and positive temperament. He smiles a lot and loves to laugh. When he's upset, he's really upset, but most of the time he's happy. Though he's very reserved around new people and places, he is outgoing and funny when he feels comfortable. Very chatty, loves to play little games. He also loves music and loves to dance. And he's very persistent and always knows what he wants. Of course there is more to all of our children's personalities than just their sensitivity!

 

[seaweed eater]

We've not been on a plane with ours yet. We were too scared when Megan was younger. so props to you! Megan does not sleep other places ( in cars, etc) so when discussing the idea of taking trips we said we wouldn't travel during nap time if we could help it. Leave after breakfast type thing. We've always had her blankie and I bring other blankets that are familiar to her if we are away from home. We've done lots of hotels and my parents house but that is very familiar to her. Hotel we always got a suite so she could sleep in a separate room. We brought her white noise she is used to as well. Brought the same bedtime books she is used to. So even though it was different there was some similarity. I heard someone say to sleep or have them sleep with the crib sheet at home before you leave so it smells like them/home.

For Megan at that age I would have packed busy but calming things like Aquadoodle and books vs watching a DVD for the plane. She can handle things like her leap pad now but at that age she wouldn't have and would have been overstimulating.

If possible I would buy some similar foods.. When Megan was younger her food sensitivity wasn't obvious at all but as she has gotten older it's a really big deal to her. Even just a same cup for drinking out of.

Where in the us are you? Where are you traveling?

Thanks so much I am planning to look for some low key iPad apps if I can find them, but otherwise will pack things like crayons/paper, wall decals he can stick on things, magazines etc. Definitely will bring his security blankets and bedtime books, also his sleep sacks from home. Snacks will all be familiar foods (most of what he eats is snack food anyway) and I will bring his sippy cups from home. Sleeping with his crib sheets is a great idea! He does sleep in the car, fortunately, so I'm hoping he will sleep in the plane too. Our first flight is during the night so I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't!

I live in CA and we are traveling to Europe and Asia so it's basically as long-haul as it gets.

 

[polaris]

Hi everyone!
I've barely been on B&B at all recently so that is why I haven't been around. I miss our little group too though so it was lovely to see it pop up. Daisybee, I must read back through the thread, it would be fascinating to read back on it now!

Daisybee, I'm so pleased that you have finally had a small bit of positive news about your dad. I don't think it's selfish at all not wanting Megan to pick up more bugs from preschool before Christmas. We have been the same with almost constant minor illnesses, it does wear you down after a while, and you also have your dad's health to think of too in relation to not wanting to pass bugs on to him.

It's interesting about Megan refusing to watch the movies and TV shows. Thomas always just wants to watch the same stuff over and over. Most films are "too scary", he mainly just wants to watch Curious George. But actually we have almost totally cut out screen time because he just gets too wired and erratic afterwards.

SE - great to read your description of Munchkin. He is sooo similar to Thomas in very very many ways. I always thought that, even when he was a lot younger and we were all on that sleep thread. The only difference is that I think Thomas is maybe more serious - and he doesn't really have specific fears. Other than that, you could be writing about Thomas at that age for much of your post.

Regarding travel, I always brought Thomas's travel cot, sleeping bag and cot sheet from home, and sleepy toys. I didn't use white noise with Thomas (didn't know about it at the time) but I would have brought that too if I had used it. I also always tried to make sure that he had his own room because he wouldn't settle to sleep with other people in the room. We never did long-haul flights but we did do regular short flights and I was always pleasantly surprised at how well he coped with them. He didn't sleep outside of the cot at that age but actually he did generally sleep on the plane. I always tried to plan travel times to preserve his routine as much as possible. The other thing that I did was stuck pretty rigidly to his routine when we were away rather than keeping him up later than usual as family always wanted me to. It just wasn't worth it because he would get over-tired and over-stimulated. The other thing I did was to bring a bag of familiar toys from home, like his cars and small animals, which he was attached to. (Just as an aside, with Clara I wouldn't bother with any of that as she is not bothered about routines or familiar objects etc., it's amazing how different they are!)

Hattiehippo, sorry to hear about your MIL. That is so strange about the children's entertainer and the impact that it had on Tom, especially that he didn't seem to remember it the next day! I'm glad that Tom is doing so well in preschool. My Thomas is enjoying preschool too but he doesn't join in with any of the songs or dances. They are doing a Christmas concert and I know he won't sing at all even though he knows every single word of all the songs.

 

[charliebear]

Hope no one minds me posting

Going to start stalking this group. I think some of these issues might be relevant to us.

One question --
Do any of your babies have sensitivity to finger food texture? Mine rarely eats anything that isn't dry and firm. It has really limited what we can give him. Polaris ( :wave: ), I did a quick search and I saw that you've said Thomas used to have an issue with this but has gotten better? When did you notice it changing, and how did you handle it until then? Anyone else experience something similar?

AJ has always had issues with food texture, still does. The only foods he eats that are 'wet' is beans, custard and yogurt.
He's a fussy eater too which doesn't help matters.

Its been awhile since anyone posted!

Anyway we are having a bit of trouble at the moment and I think I just need to get it out! As I have said Samy settled in fine to preschool, she was not the most talkative or gregarious of children but then she is not! Our summer was fine and we had plenty of playdates and she was starting to be like any other children albeit still very sensitive.

So them in September we started school and for the first half term it was fine she had her moments of tears but we could get her there ok and she said she was enjoying it, she even for the first time made a best friend who called her a best friend too.

But now its all gone a bit wrong! The reason being I have started back to work following my maternity leave with CHarlie and I am in the office Thursday and Friday and for those two days my mum and dad take her (they looked after her before when I worked). Both mornings as soon as I leave she is in hysterics and they are having real issues getting her to school (she just says she wants mummy to cuddle her) and once they do get her to school she just wont speak to anyone, she has decided those that were her friends aren't anymore and she just withdraws at school to either crying or not wanting to do anything. The teachers dont seem to know what to do with her, her friends tried but bless them they are 4/5 so obviously go off and do there own thing. The slightest thing at home she cries and stamps her feet and balls her hands as she is not getting her own way.

I feel terrible as its me working the two days that are I think partly causing the problem - although I think some of it is how she feels about school that me being around was like a plaster than now I have gone back has been ripped off and we are left with a wound that we need to figure out how to heal and I just dont know what we can do. I cant not work (however much I would like to) as we need the money and I partly need it for my sanity. Its getting mum and dad down dealing with up to an hour of crying to get her to school in the morning and poor Charlie was is also dealing with me going back to work is being pushed to the sidelines (although he is coping just fine!)

Quartz, I quoted you as my eldest is also in reception. AJ has always been sensitive and after having a lul in issues they are now back in full force, now that I'm back at work and he is in school full time. How is Samy doing?

AJ is 5 and he really dislikes change and a lot of the things people and the test mention I've always put down to something else. Like the label/clothes issue, I've previously put down to being uncomfy.

There are other things but he's adapted well to Pumpkin coming along and starting school too. It's been the past few weeks, he's been terribly upset not wanting to go to school, though he loves it. Having sore tummies (anxious/nerves), very emotional and getting upset at the smallest of things.
I've read quite a few pages and just sat going 'yep, that sounds like AJ!'

Friday his teacher pulled me aside and said she is going to refer him to a group within the school. As she feels he needs some extra support just now. I feel it's the right thing to do but I guess it's just made me worry more that we aren't supporting him properly at home.

Anyway that's it from me for now. x

 

[DaisyBee]

Welcome to the group Charliebear! I'm glad that you've found us!

Polaris HI!! Haven't talked to you in so long! How are things with you? Is Clara sleeping better? How is preschool going?

If we are sick at all we can't see my dad. He has such low immune system right now even the sniffles and we have to stay home. I've kept Megan home today and am thinking that I'll keep her home thursday morning just for the sake of keeping her away from germs. Today she is still pretty miserable and coughing so much so it wasn't much of a decision keeping her home.

I haven't been on b&b much the past few months either. I think just being too busy and really things have been going pretty well with the girls and I don't feel like I have needed the support, if that makes sense. Megan handles things much better at 4 then at 3. She is very predictable and I think I handle things much better. Her sensitivity doesnt affect us like it used to. It's still there and I can still checkmark everything except quiet play on that sensitivity test. I think preschool and her dance class have been really good for her. I still don't love her preschool but it's been helpful for her anyway.

 

[DaisyBee]

And seaweed... Lots that you describe... Very much like Megan as well.

 

[hattiehippo]

We've never been brave enough to take Tom on a plane yet...his tantrums have been so bad every summer for the past 3 yrs I've refused to pay to go on holiday and just have him screaming all the time. Plus I couldn't cope with his behaviour like that on a flight tbh.

We've done lots of 3+ hours car trips and short holidays though. We always take his gro clock and music and he sleeps in with us. One of us sits in the back of the car with him otherwise his behaviour is awful cos he gets bored even with a DVD player. He's very good at these trips now and copes well. He's all been camping a few times which has been good too.

Polaris - nice to hear its not just my Tom who won't join in despite knowing it all. He got really cross with me today when I told his key worker that he knew all the words. He really likes to be able to hide in the background.

 

[Jchihuahua]

Hi ladies, it is nice to catch up!

Welcome to the group charliebear .

Daisybee, sorry to hear your girls are unwell. All three of mine have colds and coughs at the moment. It is unavoidable with preschool I guess.

I’m really glad to hear you’ve had some positive news about your dad .

Hattie, sorry to hear about your MIL.

It sounds like Tom was completely overwhelmed by the children’s entertainer, bless him. At least he has some positive memories of the party though, with his face painting. It is great he enjoys preschool so much, I hope he enjoys his nativity play! Daisy’s preschool aren’t doing one and I am pretty disappointed!

Seaweed eater, your little boy sounds lovely. I have the same birthday as him too ☺.

Polaris, I have missed seeing you on Bnb! How is everything?

Things are going okay here. I am LOVING being on maternity leave. I go back in March, although barely a day goes by when my work aren’t contacting me about something which is annoying. I went on maternity leave without being able to tie up all the loose ends as Eddie was 3 weeks early and arrived so suddenly! I still can't believe how close he was to being a home birth and that my hubby missed the birth!

Eddie has silent reflux like Tommy had . This was one of my worst fear when I was pregnant and I feel gutted for him that he has it too. Luckily the doctors have been much more on the ball and he is on the medication already. It took 4 months to get anywhere with the doctors when Tommy was ill but at least they have taken it seriously this time. His doesn't seem as severe as Tommy's did but it still makes the poor little thing feel pretty poorly.

Tommy was 2 last week. 2!! Where does the time go! He is a delightful, happy, funny little boy and his speech and his memory are really good. He’s definitely a bright spark! He has started having tantrums when he is frustrated but they are nothing like Daisy used to have. He flares up and then calms down quickly and they are over and done with in no time. He is so much easier to manage and more 'normal' than she was at his age!

Daisy is doing well. I had parents evening at pre-school last week and they said they are really pleased with her. They said she struggles with change still and her over reaction to falling down or hurting herself is still a bit of an issue but generally she is doing great. She loves going and loves the staff and the other children. She often asks to go at the weekends and is disappointed when she can’t! Her behaviour at home is a lot better these days and she hardly ever has tantrums. Her eating and sleeping are way better too thank goodness!

 

[polaris]

JC - I can't believe that Eddie is two months old already! Congratulations! That just shows how little I have been on B&B but I didn't realize it had been that long! Happy belated birthday to Tommy also, it really doesn't seem possible that he is two already.

All is pretty good here. I'm back in work on 15th January. To be honest I am ready to go back now. Taking the extra six months was such a good decision for us because I really wasn't ready to go back six months ago. But now that Clara is older I feel OK about it and honestly I am looking forward to having a bit of time away from the kids. The only thing that I worry about is that Clara is really still not sleeping well at all and I do worry about whether I will be able to cope with the demands of work after a bad night with her. I think her current sleep difficulties are primarily teething related though (molars) so hopefully that will settle down soon.

Thomas is going through a bit of a challenging period over the last couple of weeks. He just seems very emotionally reactive, we have tantrums and screaming episodes and tears throughout the day at the moment, and it seems like any little thing can set him off. Partly it is because we've all been constantly unwell, just minor illnesses, colds and stomach bugs, but I think we are all a bit run-down because they have just been one after another. Also I am still struggling a bit with Thomas dropping his nap. He only naps every second or third day now (unless he's unwell) but on days that he doesn't nap I notice a huge difference in his behaviour and mood during the early evening. Also I think he is probably a bit stressed and upset about me going back to work after Christmas. I'm going to take him out for the day tomorrow, just the two of us, OH is going to look after Clara. I just feel like we need some reconnection time because honestly he is driving me crackers most days! I hope hope hope that tomorrow is a good day rather than constant tantrums!! I asked his teacher how he is doing in preschool but apparently he is fine there, although she did comment that he seems to have had a cold for weeks, which is true. I think the other factor is that I am exhausted and don't always have reserves of patience and energy to respond in a positive way.

 

[Quartz]

Quartz, I quoted you as my eldest is also in reception. AJ has always been sensitive and after having a lul in issues they are now back in full force, now that I'm back at work and he is in school full time. How is Samy doing?

AJ is 5 and he really dislikes change and a lot of the things people and the test mention I've always put down to something else. Like the label/clothes issue, I've previously put down to being uncomfy.

There are other things but he's adapted well to Pumpkin coming along and starting school too. It's been the past few weeks, he's been terribly upset not wanting to go to school, though he loves it. Having sore tummies (anxious/nerves), very emotional and getting upset at the smallest of things.
I've read quite a few pages and just sat going 'yep, that sounds like AJ!'

Friday his teacher pulled me aside and said she is going to refer him to a group within the school. As she feels he needs some extra support just now. I feel it's the right thing to do but I guess it's just made me worry more that we aren't supporting him properly at home.

Anyway that's it from me for now. x

Samy is doing much better now - we had a long chat with her teachers about how to handle her both generally and me going back to work and she seems much happier. She has a reward chart system both at home and at school and at school its a disney princess one she gets to put a smiley face on if she comes in without crying.

It also turns out that others were getting rewards for getting stickers and you get stickers by showing work and she wasn't getting stickers or rewards as she was not showing her work. She started doing so for a week and got the most and therefore the reward and is happy. Admittedly she no longer shows her work (I asked and she said she had done it once and gotten the reward so she did not need to anymore). We also made her a timetable of her day on a piece of paper that she carries around with her so she knows where she is in the day and what is coming up. She is really proud of it I think and shows it to others and it helps her a lot, we have broken it down into seconds and minutes so she can get an idea of timing.

I arranged some playdates and that helped with her social interaction and she seems much happier. She has also found that they is a music and dance area in the outdoor playgrond where she goes and spends most of her lunchbreak which cheers her up.

The main problem now I am finding is that she really does overthink and broods on things that she finds worrying, We had a month of her not wanting to go to her ballet lessons and it turns out it was because the teacher had told them about a dress rehearsal for the whole dance school and that parents were not allowed. So she worried about it for ages. She managed it (with a few tears) and was really proud of herself and is back to enjoying ballet.