Sensitive kids group

I think the tv shows and movies... We had a couple that scared her and now she is worried to try things that aren't in her usual. Its her anxiety over the unknown. She cried the other night as she ripped her fingernail ..(or bit?) and it didn't hurt but she was worried it would hurt the next day. She carried on and on bescause she was so sure it would hurt by tomorrow. It wasn't even that short so no pain would be coming but I couldnt convince her. :shrug:

She has mostly stopped napping. It's a very new thing. I think she has maybe 1 a week right now. She is being very defiant on purpose and doing things like getting down from the table without permission, getting into things I've asked her not to, being very persistent. She is sick though and not napping and not sleeping well at night with all of the coughing. So tiredness is in play I'm sure as well as being sick - so I can relate Polaris! Hope our angels are back soon!

Quartz - Megan over thinks everything, worries about things kids shouldn't even be worrying about, and gets anxiety over things. My fil told us to drive safe leaving a store and going to meet them at a restaurant, the whole drive Megan kept telling me to slow down and drive careful, etc and it wasn't from my bad driving... And I wasn't going fast. We were in town. But it made her worry.

Jc - I'm sorry about the reflux! It had to be a big worry for you after you've had such a struggle with Tommy with it. Glad Tommy is a bit easier for you as far as toddler type things go!

Megan loves the singing and is the first to stand for an action song and is so into singing. Its something she loves so much which is why I'm glad we've found this dance class for her. It's challenging because she is the youngest and I think that she likes that. She has a recital Tuesday.
 
LO was always very alert and interested in things, from birth. He loves to fight sleep -- never wants to miss a thing. He also started getting too distracted to nurse well from very early on.

He doesn't like messy or wet textures. At daycare they do finger painting projects and he has never liked them, or other messy play. He refuses wet finger foods, even firm ones (like most fruit and vegetables). He is very picky about food in general. We are getting better at working around his preferences, but he never went through a phase where he ate lots of stuff. Always picky like a toddler.

I didn't start out thinking I would be a routine-loving parent, but he seems to do well on routines so we've incorporated a lot of them.

He is very aware of context and place, and adjusts his behavior a lot in different places. There were a few weeks after he learned to walk when he was nearly running nonstop around the house but wouldn't walk independently at all in a new place. It seems to take him about half an hour to adjust to a new place.

He loves to hang back and watch. Often at the playground he wants to sit in the swing or the sandbox and just observe the other children. When strangers speak to him, he either just stares at them or buries his head in my shoulder. People often say he is "shy." They also often say he is "mellow," which is funny because he is not really mellow at all, but he is so reserved in new situations that he can seem mellow.

He is cautious about approaching and trying new things. He always develops motor milestones slowly because he wants to practice and practice before doing something on his own. He also is often scared of new objects in his environment and takes a long time to approach them. At daycare they have a mesh pop-up tunnel that the babies crawl through. After several months he finally tried it himself, but apparently he always waits until there is no one else around so that he doesn't get stuck!

He has a lot of fears that many babies don't seem to have -- elevators, parking garages, bubbles, stuffed animals. He loves dogs from far away but gets very upset when they come close.

Aside from his sensitivity to food texture, he is a very light sleeper and also has started complaining about his clothes -- not sure what exactly. Waiting for him to be able to tell me better using words.

He has always been very socially perceptive and has strong social and verbal skills.

In addition to all of this, he has a very cheerful and positive temperament. He smiles a lot and loves to laugh. When he's upset, he's really upset, but most of the time he's happy. Though he's very reserved around new people and places, he is outgoing and funny when he feels comfortable. Very chatty, loves to play little games. He also loves music and loves to dance. And he's very persistent and always knows what he wants. Of course there is more to all of our children's personalities than just their sensitivity! :)

Hi :hi:

You are descirbing Omar word by word at that age!

He is much better now with messy play, but we had to join several classes, introduce different textures at home for messy play, he was over 2 yrs when he finally accepted to touch paint, glue, gooey slime & similar things, we still dont have much success with touching food, but now he uses a fork, he still asks me to spoon feed him from time especially if the food is too messy as he hates it if he drops food around

He is still cautious but he has more confident in his physical abilities now he's older & he tries new activites.

He is still an observer, he watches & watches before he joins in, he's a perfectionist so I guess this is the reason.

His sleep is still bad, he wakes up several times at night & it seems that he cant switch off after a busy or exciting day. He fights sleep like crazy, he cries when the sun goes down, he asks for the sun when he wakes up at night, he gets so grumoy on cloudy days.

He is much better socially, he orders his own food in restaurants, he pays for his ticket at play areas, he chats with random strangers. He suffered from social anxiety between 2-3 yrs.

He's always been advanced for his age, he was reading cvc words at 2.5 yrs. Now he goes to piano & abacus classes for 5+ & he asked to go to arts class. Pretend play is his thing, anything can become a toy, he invents games, he sets up the rules. He is bossy. He was so chilled out at your DS age but at the age of 2 he changed.
 
Hattie- so sorry to hear about your MIL :hugs:

So sorry the party didnt go well, I think Omar would react in the same way, he suffers from night terror, but he doesnt rememebr them when he wakes up, we dont mention it.

As for school, I wouldnt worry about full time, Omar is coping well, he goes 5 hrs full time, he complains about the long hours, he still makes excuses not to go but according to his key teacher he's doing great. He has loads of energy when he's back from school.

Daisybee- sorry to hear about your dad, hope things getter better soon, glad the scans are good :hugs:

Seaweed- we travelled with Omar several times, he was almost 1 yr when we travelled second time, he slept during the whole flight. As your DS is a picky eater try to have enough snacks for the flight. Some fav toys & books, agree with ipad or at least phone apps. We also had a portable dvd player with headphones. When we went to thailand this year it was a but challenging, he was whiney & bored but we survived :rofl: food was a major issue abroad, I ended up cooking for him in a resort. He refused everything including yoghurts there.
 
Hey guys,

Its been a while since I last came here. Id forgotten about it and tbh I remembered because I was thinking of your dad Daisybee.

Daisybee- Im sorry to hear that you feel your dad is not doing so well now. I think you are right in talking to DD about it from now so she can start to process the changes rather than it all becoming too overpowering for her. Sending you hugs through difficult time.

Im sorry ive not read any of the other posts (theres a lot ive missed) but will come back to it hopefully.

tk cr everyone xx

Hey there :hi: miss you!

& I dont know why I'm not getting alerts on my PMs! (Will send you one soon :hugs)
 
JC- I cant believe that Tommy is already 2! So sorry Eddie has reflux but I'm glad you're getting support ealy this time :hugs: , so happy to read about Daisy's progress at pre-school, sounds like she's doing well bless her.

Polaris- we have similar behaviours, Omar was sick for 2 weeks, hubby was also sick, Omar was so whineh, he was off food, his sleep & routine were out of the window, he was always crying & screaming, but now he's better he's so sweet & cooperative.

Quartz- I have the same issue, Omar goes to piano lessons, he panics when his tutor asks him to practice at home, when I ask him to try he refuses, I try to bribe him with stickers, whe he finally agrees God forbids if he presses a wrong key, he goes mental, he starts crying saying that he cant do it & he's not good at it! Then he goes on & on asking if I will still taking him to class, then he starts talking to himself, then he gets overwhelmed again. On Tuesday he went to class, I didnt go in, his tutor came running to me after 20 mins as she wanted me to listen to him playing, he was doing great! He was so proud & happy & he didnt stop talking about it.
 
Thank you OmarsMum and everyone else for the responses and the travel advice :hugs: my LO has so many similarities with several of yours who are somewhat older, so it's so interesting to read about what yours are going through now! They sound like such lovely children.

I had a meeting today with the program specialist at daycare. LO will be moving to the next classroom in January, and I'm nervous about it. He is thriving in his classroom now but it took him about a month before he was even really functioning there. I think this transition will be as tough or tougher. But the teacher was very supportive of taking things very slowly and invited me to spend as much time with him as he seems to need. I am lucky that we have such good teachers at our center. His current teachers have been so kind and understanding. One of them seems to be highly sensitive herself and has mentioned that LO is like one of her children. I don't know what I will do if we ever find ourselves without good care options for him. Sensitive children really are like orchids.
 
Our update:

Omar is ok at school, his teacher is seeing loads of improvement, he still doesnt eat there & he doesn't really interact with kids there. But he's joining in in activites, & he's bringing work back home with him, he's also asking to do his "thing" with arts work. He still complain about the long hours but once he reaches school he's fine.

He was sick on & off for almost 2 months, his nose allergy is back & it seems that there is nothing we can do about it (we have a humidifier, we use olbas oil & vicks but nothing is working)

He's so bossy, but those days he accepts to talk without ending up with a meltdown or tears.

His sleep is still bad (I thinm some of you read my threads)

We're going to piano & lessons, he's doing well but he's obsessed with praise & stickers. I never encouraged rewards for good things, but it seemed that he likes it. He's also so competitive he wants to be the winner in everything, he should always be the 1st, I try to explain to him that he doesn't always have to be the winner but it's ok to try, I dont know how to handle this!

He's more predictable those days, I can easily know when he's tired or getting ocerwhelmed before he ends up with a meltdown, he also have more control on his emotions & temper

He asked to go to arts classes, so we will start this Saturday, he will also start swimming lessons at school once a week after school on Mondays.

We're ttc I'm too scared! I cant stop thinking about pregnancy & giving birth, it wasnt too pleasant last time, but I really hope it goes well this time.
 
Yay for ttc omarsmum! It is great to hear about Omar. Megan is bossy too, I think some of it is her age and her mood when she hasn't been sleeping well.. Sorry to hear his sleep is still not great. Think we will still complaining about sleep when they are 15? :)

Seaweed - I think the fact that we know how change is for our kids makes it tough for us. I have found though that if Megan picks up on any worry or doubt of mine it makes it worse for her. So think... He will do great... It will be fine! It's good that it's in Jan so Xmas season will be done. The added excitement of the holidays is tough Megan. Thanks for that link. It's hard to hear that anxiety would be from environment as I try my hardest to have patience and help her with things. It's not always easy with her intensity and I beat myself up every time I think I could have reacted to something better.
 
So there is this thread in baby club (I guess most of you saw it) about easy going babies, I wrote a long post but I decided not to post it there. I will post it here as you all can relate & understand what I'm saying.
 
This is what I consider high needs:

- A toddler who doesn't join in with other kids, he sits in the corner to watch, God forbids if you ask him to join in, he cries & screams then you have to apologise & leave the class you're paying big $$$ for it. After 2 years of ongoing toddlers classes, his mummy ends up crying from spending most of the classes carrying her toddler to watch from the window instead of joining the activities & fun
- A toddler who with not eat a candy, look for chocolate, or cheer over a birthday cake.
- A 2 yrs old who preferred to stay at home all day in his comfort zone, who used to get overwhelmed & screamed if you had visitors & needed a time alone to chill out.
- A very picky eater who gags in restuarants, & hides his face in the ipad to avoid looking at others eating, did I mention that family meals are so overwhelming for him?
- A kid who still doesnt sleep through at 4 yrs old, who wakes up screaming & who suffers from ongoing night terrors
- A kid who still doesnt have friends at school although he has many friends outside as he doesn't see why he needs more friends when he has loads outside.
- A kid who doesn't touch food for 6 hrs at school & it's not getting better after 3 months
- A kid who was reading at 2.5 yrs, who also can play the piano at 4 yrs, & is attending professional arts classes, but cant do basic stuff like dressing/undressing himself, using the toilet on his own, or even feeding himself all his meals
- A kid who doesnt accept failure, a kid who's perfectionist & who cries his eyes out if things are not perfect.

To an outsider he's chilled out, funny, well behaved, smart, cooperative, etc. His teachers at school & in classes are amazed by his behaviour.

But he's hardwork, requires loads of attention, he's not typical, he's different. I wouldnt change him for the World & I dont even wish he was easier.

This is why you only read about high needs kids online, IRL you spend an hour or two with your friends kids, you see them at their best, but you dont offer them their food, you dont put them in bed, you dont see those parents going from one forum to another seeking for advise or downloading one parenting book after another as they dont want to be judged IRL , & it breaks their heart if their kids are labelled as "high need", "difficult", or "different", unless you have a true friend who accepts you & your kid unconditionally.
 
This is what I consider high needs:

- A toddler who doesn't join in with other kids, he sits in the corner to watch, God forbids if you ask him to join in, he cries & screams then you have to apologise & leave the class you're paying big $$$ for it. After 2 years of ongoing toddlers classes, his mummy ends up crying from spending most of the classes carrying her toddler to watch from the window instead of joining the activities & fun
- A toddler who with not eat a candy, look for chocolate, or cheer over a birthday cake.
- A 2 yrs old who preferred to stay at home all day in his comfort zone, who used to get overwhelmed & screamed if you had visitors & needed a time alone to chill out.
- A very picky eater who gags in restuarants, & hides his face in the ipad to avoid looking at others eating, did I mention that family meals are so overwhelming for him?
- A kid who still doesnt sleep through at 4 yrs old, who wakes up screaming & who suffers from ongoing night terrors
- A kid who still doesnt have friends at school although he has many friends outside as he doesn't see why he needs more friends when he has loads outside.
- A kid who doesn't touch food for 6 hrs at school & it's not getting better after 3 months
- A kid who was reading at 2.5 yrs, who also can play the piano at 4 yrs, & is attending professional arts classes, but cant do basic stuff like dressing/undressing himself, using the toilet on his own, or even feeding himself all his meals
- A kid who doesnt accept failure, a kid who's perfectionist & who cries his eyes out if things are not perfect.

To an outsider he's chilled out, funny, well behaved, smart, cooperative, etc. His teachers at school & in classes are amazed by his behaviour.

But he's hardwork, requires loads of attention, he's not typical, he's different. I wouldnt change him for the World & I dont even wish he was easier.

This is why you only read about high needs kids online, IRL you spend an hour or two with your friends kids, you see them at their best, but you dont offer them their food, you dont put them in bed, you dont see those parents going from one forum to another seeking for advise or downloading one parenting book after another as they dont want to be judged IRL , & it breaks their heart if their kids are labelled as "high need", "difficult", or "different", unless you have a true friend who accepts you & your kid unconditionally.

Agreed completely! You should post it on that thread hun.
 
Hi everyone, there are a few names here I recognise which is nice as I've been away from B&B for a while. Jchuahua suggested that I check this thread out after I posted in toddler and pre school as I've been having done issues with Abigail who's just turned four.
To give some background, she's generally a fairly compliant child, we don't have a lot of opposition from her, the issue is that she's SO emotional! She goes through phases with this but it's particularly bad at the moment. She cries hysterically about the tiniest thing. For example, yesterday she was melting down because we decorated our living room in brown and she wanted it back to white again. This isn't a reaction to change as its been brown for months and it's the first time she's even mentioned it. She will cry hysterically about things that happened weeks ago that didn't bother her at the time. It's like she is upset about something but needs a reason to pin it on so will just pick some really irrelevant thing.
She has always been sensitive to loud noises but lately this has got much worse. She hates fireworks, she doesn't like public toilets because of the hand dryers. She is anxious about going to the supermarket in case the bleep goes off when we go in. She hates balloons bursting and cries if we're at a party and they bang. She was anxious about Father Christmas because she thought he'd come down the chimney and make a loud noise. She is fine in busy places, doesn't mind lots of noise at parties etc, it's just these certain looks sudden noises she hates.
She started pre school aged 2 years and 9 months and whilst she really liked it, the teacher never had a good word to say about her, they were always complaining that she zoned out didn't listen, didn't focus. Her teacher then said she thought she was on the asd spectrum because of her zoning out. I admit I freaked out about that, also it was handled really badly and I was very unhappy with the pre school. I pulled her out the same day and she never went back. I started her in a different pre school and they've been amazing. They monitored her closely at first and her new teacher is convinced she is far from asd. She's highly articulate, bright, very social, makes friends easily, confident (sometimes too confident though, talks to anyone and everyone) and has as great imagination. However the anxiety about what her last teacher said has never left me (I have anxiety anyway which doesn't help) and I find myself constantly anxious about her. I feel I deal with her very badly. I get impatient and frustrated. I love her so much but sometimes I feel like she deserves a much better mummy than me who understands her better.
I didn't mean this to be so long, thanks for reading!
 
Hi Cattia, lovely to see you again! I haven't really been on B&B much either. What an awful experience with the first preschool! I know how much you worry about autism so I can imagine how upsetting it must have been, especially if it was handled so badly. Thank goodness you pulled her out and the new preschool seem to have a more positive opinion of her and recognize her good qualities rather than picking out all the "problems".

Please don't beat yourself up about not being a good enough mummy. I think we all get impatient and frustrated sometimes. I definitely do, I don't feel good about it, but I am trying to accept it and move on rather than beating myself up about it which just makes me feel even worse. I have figured out recently that often I am actually pissed off with OH and take it out on Thomas which is dreadful!! But all we can do is try to do better and not be too hard on ourselves.

Regarding being very emotional, Thomas is the same recently, emotional meltdowns over nothing or very trivial things. It is quite draining sometimes, especially because he had previously been much less volatile! I read something recently on the Janet Lansbury website that it doesn't matter what the supposed trigger for the meltdown is, the upset is more than likely about something different and the child just uses the apparent trigger as an opportunity to release the pent-up emotions and that actually releasing the emotions is healthy and healing and should be welcomed. So basically exactly what you said about needing a reason to pin it on and just picking some irrelevant thing. The advice was to just allow them to express the emotion and support them through it. Easier said than done, especially when there is other stuff going on or I'm under time pressure or whatever.

Don't have time to write more now but will check back in later.
 
Hey Polaris, lovley to see you :wave:
Yes, the whole thing with the pre school upset me a lot and I don't think I've really got over it even though it was a year ago now. I still over analyse both their behaviour far too much, although her new pre school teacher honestly couldn't be more positive about her and is always reassuring me that she's fine, but I still think in the back of my mind what if her old teacher was right about her.
What you said about your OH has really struck a chord with me too, although until you wrote it I hadn't totally figured it out. For example yesterday when we were at the park and she was refusing to ride her bike which she has been able to ride for over a year, saying she was too scared and was going to fall off, I got really frustrated with her then felt really bad. Actually I was pissed off that DH hadn't come to the park with us and that I had to manage the two kids on my own and they were both whining and refusing to move without my help. So that's why i was on a short fuse with them, and that kind of thing happens a fair bit.
Its also really good to know that these meltdowns over something that seems totally trivial are actually a healthy way of releasing emotion. I figured out that the things she says are upsetting her can't really be the cause, but I have no real idea what the cause is. I know I need to deal with my own anxiety and frustrations about her behaviour and George's as well but it's hard to do and I feel like I constantly let them down.
Thanks so much for the advice, how are your two doing? Xx
 
I read something recently on the Janet Lansbury website that it doesn't matter what the supposed trigger for the meltdown is, the upset is more than likely about something different and the child just uses the apparent trigger as an opportunity to release the pent-up emotions and that actually releasing the emotions is healthy and healing and should be welcomed. So basically exactly what you said about needing a reason to pin it on and just picking some irrelevant thing. The advice was to just allow them to express the emotion and support them through it. Easier said than done, especially when there is other stuff going on or I'm under time pressure or whatever.

Wow, this makes a lot of sense to me too. Just before christmas her pre school teacher had said she'd had a really emotional day and things that wouldn't normally bother her had been making her cry, such as her tower of bricks being knocked down by another child. The previous day her granny, who had been staying with us for a few days, went back home and Daisy always finds that hard as her grandparents live far away and she doesn't see them often so I'm pretty sure this would have been a prime example of this.

Cattia, I can see why what that teacher said really affected you, I would have felt the same. I think she was very unprofessional to say what she said though and as an early years teacher I would never dream of coming out with something like that without lots of thorough looking into it, meetings with the sen-co, observations by the ed psych etc. I think the new teacher being so positive should set your mind at ease somewhat because I'm sure she would share any concerns with you if she had them. :hugs:
 
Cattia, your story about being pissed off with your OH is exactly the sort of situation that happens here. It is usually because I am annoyed with him for not getting up in the morning to help me with the school run - then if Thomas is dawdling I take it out on him but really I'm pissed off because it's bloody hard getting two of them ready and out the door on time and it would be just so much easier if he would get up and help (wouldn't have to bring Clara to the school at all for a start!).

My two are both well. Clara still doesn't sleep well at all but other than that she is doing fantastic with all her milestones and is a really easy-going sociable child. However I constantly worry that there is something medically wrong with her, partly because of the terrible sleep and partly because she is constantly unwell (minor illnesses like colds and bugs, nothing serious, but just constant). Also she sometimes has a blue tinge around the lips which worries me. I took her off dairy for a few months because I thought she might be intolerant but that made no difference at all so she's back on it now. The GP checked her heart etc and she thinks she is fine but she agreed to refer her to a paediatrician because she is teeny tiny (15th percentile for height) and she was a bit worried that something might be interfering with her growth. I never really worried about her height, I just figured she was petite, so that is a new thing for me to worry about now!

Thomas is quite difficult at the moment but I think a lot of it is because I am going back to work on 15th January and obviously he is aware of that and probably a bit worried about it. My other big issue with him is sleep. He is back napping nearly every day now because I just can't deal with his behaviour on days that he doesn't nap - it is just constant emotional meltdowns. With a nap, he is much easier to live with, but he is up until 10.30 at night sometimes, which is just way too late for me!! I'd like to be in bed myself at that stage. I'm so done with this nap transition, it seems to have been going on forever at this stage!! His cousin, who is nearly five, still needs a nap quite often and has the same issues with being up really late at night, so I'm not really hopeful that it's going to just resolve itself any time soon.
 
Wow Polaris, that does really sound very similar to how things are in our house. Getting out the door is a real stressor for me and more often than not I end up yelling at the kids when actually I am doing the whole passive aggressive thing with my DH. It's not very healthy, and I guess I need to ne more direct in telling him to help more, but that tends to turn into an argument.
It's great that Clara is doing so well hitting her milestones but I'm sorry to hear that you're worrying about her. Heaven knows I can relate to that. It's very draining. If the Dr has checked her over then I am sure she is ok but a referal to a paediatrician will certainly put your mind at ease. The constant illness could easily be normal too, as we seem to morph from one cough and cold to the next with no break in this house. I had tonsillitis twice in six weeks since November!
I feel for you with Thomas' sleep too. George is much younger but refuses to nap at home now and his behaviour when he doesn't sleep is out of control. It makes such a massive difference to him. I usually end up taking them out in the car so he can have 45 mins. I worry about him a lot too, my anxiety about his behaviour hasn't eased up much. It's hard to know how to manage the whole nap thing. Would a shorter nap in the car be enough to tide Thomas over without making him too wide awake later? When you spend all day looking after your kids you really need your evenings for yourself so it must be hard.
Abigail couldn't sleep tonight. She was lying awake worrying that she hadn't been to Granny's house this week. She has been so excited about her birthday and Christmas taut I wonder if that, along with the end of term, has unsettled her. We have had really bad meltdowns at bedtime every day this week. It's exhausting.
Anyhow, I found this link when I was searching the web for ideas. I thought it was quite useful and hopefully other people might find it helpful too. I hope the link works.

https://www.education.com/question/4-year-daughters-phobias-uncomfortable-situation-it/
 
. She has been so excited about her birthday and Christmas taut I wonder if that, along with the end of term, has unsettled her. We have had really bad meltdowns at bedtime every day this week. It's exhausting.

Daisy's also had her birthday last week as well as christmas and that, along with being out of her pre-school routine, has really thrown her. She hasn't melted down yet but I can see it is going to happen.
 
. She has been so excited about her birthday and Christmas taut I wonder if that, along with the end of term, has unsettled her. We have had really bad meltdowns at bedtime every day this week. It's exhausting.

Daisy's also had her birthday this week as well as christmas and that, along with being out of her pre-school routine, has really thrown her. She hasn't melted down yet but I can see it is going to happen.

It's a lot of upheaval isn't it. Outwardly Abigail seems to take things in her stride but actually she doesn't, things do throw her more than I think I realise. Yesterday she said she wanted her birthday party NEXT year at the community centre where her friend had a party, so I said fine, thinking nothing of it since it's a year away, then later she was crying because she didn't want her party there! The emotional roller coatser is really a lot to cope with.
 
. She has been so excited about her birthday and Christmas taut I wonder if that, along with the end of term, has unsettled her. We have had really bad meltdowns at bedtime every day this week. It's exhausting.

Daisy's also had her birthday last week as well as christmas and that, along with being out of her pre-school routine, has really thrown her. She hasn't melted down yet but I can see it is going to happen.

We've also been having a tough time this week. Routine has gone out of the window which doesn't help.

I can also relate to the OH comments.

I'm actually looking forward to the beginning of term so I get my chat with the care guidance and support teacher and get some support for my sensitive dude.
Poor little man had a meltdown tonight over not having a promise and 'everyone else in the whole wide world does' - that's New Years resolutions to us.
 

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