Sensitive kids group

[DaisyBee]

Megan has already caught a cold .. Lol... Of course. I said it was going to be a year full of illness which is going to be very complicated with my dad.

I realized when I was saying challeging enough.. What I should have been saying was stimulating enough so that she wasn't bored. With dh and I talking about it he couldn't understand why she needed to be challenged and I figured out how to say what I really meant lol

Think Jordan is going through the 18 month growth spurt or whatever that is. Her naps are short, she wakes early in the morning. So with Megan having issues all evening and both girls barely napping, and Jordan up too early it's not helping my burnt out feeling! Dh and I were fighting this weekend. His mom was here sat afternoon and we were even fighting in front of her, how horrible. And i cant believe we were doing it in front of the kids either. We talked sat night and trying to explain to him how stressed out I am and he is being an insensitive ass so all we want to do is bicker and take things out on each other. Ugh. Not good. Trying to figure out how to stop doing that! I hope just acknowledging it will help.

 

[polaris]

Daisybee
Sometimes I think men just don't get it. Especially when they are not around for much of the day and don't actually see what you cope with day to day. My relationship with OH has been very strained at times over the past year since Clara was born. I think it's just a big stressor on the relationship trying to juggle everything and being totally burnt out with exhaustion etc. One thing that I found very helpful was making a conscious effort to try and think about specific good things about him and the things that I love about him, the reasons why we got together, etc. Rather than focusing on the negative all the time. Easier said than done though.

 

[DaisyBee]

That is a good idea Polaris. Our relationship has been strained... It started when Megan was born and she was so high needs that we both were having trouble coping. It got better and then we had Jordan and the first months were tough on us again with juggling and lack of sleep, and it started getting better... And then my dad got sick. I think we are traveling way too much and it's affecting all of us. Dh and I are just both tired. He works a ton and isn't loving his job and I have a hard time with Megan so both of us are just needing a break that we never get. We've thought about trying to take a vacation but wonder if it's good timing, if bringing the kids somewhere will just be even tougher. Lol

My dad is asking if I'm going to talk to megans teacher about whats happening on the pkayground. Do you think I should? I found out from a friends son that is a 3rd grader... He thinks it's the 4th graders (oldest at this school) who are outside at that time. So youngest out with oldest

 

[polaris]

Oh wow, when you said older kids I was thinking that they were maybe a year older. Like the two years next to each other out at the same time. Having the 4th graders out at the same time just sounds crazy. I wouldn't be too happy with that I don't think. I think it would be no harm to have a chat with the teacher about it and maybe just clarify what exactly the arrangements are and whether they are supposed to have separate areas and what are the supervision arrangements. Megan is still only three, it's very young to be outside with much older kids with minimal supervision. I think I would bring it up initially just as a general question to find out more information about what their arrangements are and try to find out what is their rationale for having the two groups out at the same time.

 

[cutie4evr01]

Wow - I think you should definitely ask about that. I thought you meant the 4-yr-olds were out with the 3-yr-olds. IMO, 3-yr-olds should not be sharing a playground with 4th graders. At the very least you could ask how many teachers are out there with the children and what they are doing to ensure the little ones don't get hurt. It might help if you point out that the older children aren't allowing Megan to play on the slide so that perhaps next time the teacher will be more vigilant in watching/mediating.

 

[OmarsMum]

Omar is not doing well

Last night he ad a breakdown at bedtime, he cried none stop, he doesnt want to go to school, he asked me to take him to thailand as it's too far away & there is not school, he was really distressed
He asked me why he have to go to school he loves home, he has fun at home, he wants to stay with mummy, it was heartbreaking. When he fell asleep I had a breakdown & I ended up crying

I dont know what to do
He woke up in a good mood today, I dont know how it's gojng to go today at school, I'm thinking of taking him to the beach after school , I'm tired, hubby is stressed out, I was thinking seriouslyof seeking professional help but I'm still not sure,

 

[cutie4evr01]

Oh Omarsmum, I'm so sorry to hear about your rough day. I'm sure going to school is a big adjustment for him, and I think they try so hard to be good during the day at school that their emotions come out at home in the evenings. You did the best you could just by being there to reassure him, and staying while he fell asleep. And it's good he woke in a good mood - he probably was just having a rough night. Did he say if there's a particular reason he doesn't want to go to school? He probably just misses you and will adjust in time to his new routine.

It's ok to cry, this is a big adjustment for us parents too - I have cried a few times. I would encourage you to get professional help if you think you need it. There is no shame in getting help, and sometimes all it takes is being able to talk it through with someone. You are doing such a great job taking care of Omar and DH, but you have to take care of yourself too. I hope you are feeling better today.

 

[polaris]

Omarsmum That sounds so difficult. I agree with Cutie, you did the best thing by just being there for him and allowing him to cry and release all of those emotions. That is probably why he woke up in good form today because he was able to have a good cry in a supportive environment and get it out of his system. I hope he had a good day and that yesterday was just a tough day. On the positive side, I think it's great that Omar is able to express his emotions so articulately and that he obviously feels so safe with you to be able to express what he is feeling. Hope you are OK hun, no harm having a bit of a cry, we all need it from time to time, I cried today too not even for any good reason.

 

[DaisyBee]

Im sorry omarsmum I also think that's great that Omar was able to tell you how he feels, that has to be helpful for him to release that vs just keeping it all inside. It is a big adjustment for everyone and it's so hard to see your child upset.

How is school going specifically? Is he talking about things he likes or doesn't like? Do you think it was just a buildup of emotions vs really not liking school?

I hope you are doing ok.

I decided to talk to Megan about the playground issue and see what she wanted me to do. She says she wants to just play on other slides right now and me not talk to her teacher. So I decided that I would wait and see how today goes and go from there. I was realizing that by me being upset and worried about it I maybe was making more of a big deal to her, where in her mind maybe it wasn't that big of deal? I don't want to make the situation worse, even though I do want to know about supervision, etc. I don't want to make it worse for Megan in the process.

This morning was a bit rough. She is very sensitive when sick. Yesterday was full of meltdowns and crying just because everything bothers her when she isn't feeling well. Dh came home shortly before we were leaving with a break between calls so came to school with us to drop Megan off. There was an extra teacher in the classroom this morning. Megan was greeted from both her teachers and she told them she brought a snack ( string cheese) to share with everyone and then went to the sensory table full of corn. So drop off went well, I hope that the meltdowns were just for me at home

 

[Jchihuahua]

Daisybee, the playground issue really sounds like a big deal. I've never heard of the little ones being sent out with the big kids. That sounds so daunting and I would be very unhappy with that. How is her cold doing?

Omar's mum, how is he doing now? It may well just be the initial settling process that is making him distressed with school. I read your other thread about other things to keep him challeneged. I think swimming or music sound like good ideas. With Daisy I don't really view pre school as teaching her anything much in an academic sense as she is already so advanced with her learning but I seee it it as so important for her personal, social and emotional development and it is teaching her things that I couldn't possible do, like how to react to other adults, cope in a group without me there and interact with other children without me looking over her shoulder.

I was really impressed with her the other day. She brought me her blackboard and showed me this and told me it said 'I love cats'. The love is a love heart. She had no help with it at all.
https://i1282.photobucket.com/albums/a529/01fella/IMG_0404_zps8219867f.jpg

I hope you don't mind me having a little rant that is nothing to do with sensitive kids but I don't know where else to post it really as nobody in third tri knows me! I am struggling like mad at the moment. I am still working full time and my obstetric cholestasis has returned so I am up all night itching and having to go to hospital to be monitored every two days and have to go for a liver scan next week. I havent seen the consultant yet to discuss induction but I am expecting it to be at 38 weeks. The kidney infection I had over the summer has returned as well and I am sick loads of times a day. And I also fell downstairs and tore the ligaments in my ankle . I am not a happy camper at the moment!!

 

[polaris]

JC OMG that just sounds like a nightmare. That photo of your ankle looks so sore! I'd say you just are done with being pregnant, I don't know how you are coping with everything on top of all of the physical problems, you poor thing!

 

[cutie4evr01]

JC, that looks like it hurts so bad! I'm so sorry things are going so poorly for you health-wise. I'm hoping it will all improve for you in a few weeks after your baby arrives. However, I'm sure it will be difficult then too with newborn days all over again. How much time will you have off from work?

I am so very impressed by Daisy's writing! Christina can write her letters, but only writes what we spell out for her. Not only did Daisy manage to spell out cats on her own, but she knew the I should be capitalized, and she wrote an entire sentence! And she substituted a heart for love - how clever! She is such a smart girl!

 

[DaisyBee]

I wrote a whole long thing last night and it wouldn't post it for me so I gave up and now you get a quick post as Jordan already just woke from nap ( little stinker!!!) so don't have time to say much.

Big hugs jc!!! Omgoodness I'm feeling for you! And you still working as well - Til when ? Is there anything they can give you for the itching? And ouch that looks so sore!!

We are officially nuts... We got a kitten over the weekend. Haha Megan acts like it's Xmas and bday and fireworks, and 400 pieces of candy all rolled into one hour... And thats been her since the cat arrived. Sooo excited. we thought it might be a good distraction for us all. We are all still sick with colds.. This one has been a horrible thing! Preschool was this morning and dance this afternoon.

It's my dads last treatment today, and I'm sad. Very very sad.

 

[polaris]

Daisybee I'm so sorry about what you are going through at the moment with your dad. There are no words really but I am thinking of you. Very exciting about the kitten! Any update on the playground situation?

JC - I totally forgot to comment on Daisy's writing, it is totally fantastic, you must be very proud of her! It's amazing that she could spell that out all by herself! Thomas doesn't write at all yet and isn't even particularly interested in letters at the moment.

Everything is good here. Thomas is doing really well in preschool. He told me yesterday that he did some of the actions when they were singing the songs. That is a big deal for him as up until now he hasn't joined in. I was so proud of him! In other news, I am trying a dairy-free diet for Clara and myself to see if it might help at all with her sleeping - we've done just over a week so it's early days but I do think there is possibly some improvement! It would make such a huge difference to me if she was sleeping just a little bit better!

 

[OmarsMum]

JC hiw do you feel now? Hope you're feeling better now hun, big hugs , aw I love Daisy's handwriting, so cute bless her!

Daisybee- so sorrh
Y about your dad , a kitten sounds nice, I'm scared of pets , hope you are all feeling better hun.

Polaris- glad Thomas is doing well hun, did they dairy free help Clara to sleep better?

We're going up & down here, on Sunday our houskeeper went to scbool with hubby to pick up Omar, his teacher told her that he was terrible, he cried all day & he made all kids cry! I was fuming when I heard this! She did not ask her about feed back, she's not his care giver, & above all she has no right to refer to my kid as terrible!

I called school, I was fuming, & I complained. I went on Monday to school, I didnt send omar to class, & I had a meeting with the head of department. She told me that they already had a long meeting with the teacher about her attitude, & now she will be monitored closely as her behaviour is not acceptable.

Omar was outside with his dad asking to go to class, after the meeting we sent him to class without talking to the teacher, when hubby went to pick him up he was told that he ddi amazing & he ddi not cry. He came back home in a good mood & braggin about not crying

Since that day he stipped crying & he's having fun & bringing arts work home. He's drawing & colouring all day, I'm really amazed with his skills, he can colour inside the lines, he drew a good face and copied a picture of an owl.

We started piano classes today, when we took him for assessment we were told that he' too young, but the teacher (Japanese) accepted him in one to one class for 30 mins twice a week. Today she was amazedsat his ability to follow instructions, the owner & manager of the institute advised me to stay in during the class although it's not allowed for other students. The class was fun the teacher didnt stop laughing. He was confident bless him.

I started a course in nutritiin coaching through the Instute of Integrative Nutirtion, I'm also doing NLP online course then I will go for the NLP trainer course once I'm done. The nutrition course durstion si 1 year, it's not easy, but it's very interesting.

I go to the gym in the morning, when Omar is back at arojnd 1.30 I try to take him out everyday, he's in bed sleeping by 7 pm. His sleep is much better those days, he's finally sleeping through

We're also NTNP, it's very stressful! I was late 2 weeks but I got a BFN , AF showed 2 days back, I'm expecting irregular periods as I was on the Pill, but two weeks is too long

By 10 pm I feel dead tired, all what I want is to go to bed, cuddle my boy & sleep looool.

 

[OmarsMum]

Sorry about all the spelling mistakes, I'm using my new Galaxy note, & I'm still not used to it!

 

[seaweed eater]

Going to start stalking this group. I think some of these issues might be relevant to us.

One question --
Do any of your babies have sensitivity to finger food texture? Mine rarely eats anything that isn't dry and firm. It has really limited what we can give him. Polaris ( :wave: ), I did a quick search and I saw that you've said Thomas used to have an issue with this but has gotten better? When did you notice it changing, and how did you handle it until then? Anyone else experience something similar?

 

[OmarsMum]

Going to start stalking this group. I think some of these issues might be relevant to us.

One question --
Do any of your babies have sensitivity to finger food texture? Mine rarely eats anything that isn't dry and firm. It has really limited what we can give him. Polaris ( :wave: ), I did a quick search and I saw that you've said Thomas used to have an issue with this but has gotten better? When did you notice it changing, and how did you handle it until then? Anyone else experience something similar?

We still have this issue, he will not hold any messy food, this is why he was late in self feeding, he didn't show interest until he mastered using a spoon & fork

Welcome to the group xx

 

[polaris]

Hey SE!! Great to see you here! I've always thought there were a lot of similarities between Munchkin and Thomas! Thomas is still funny about textures of foods and doesn't really like foods with sauce, but he is definitely more willing to try things now than when he was younger. Soft foods (such as porridge or scrambled egg) he is very particular about and they have to be made in a particular way or he won't eat them. He has gone through phases of not eating these foods at all. He is easily put off if I give him something that is runnier than usual or lumpier than usual or whatever, he often will refuse that food after that for a while. It has got better as he got older although he actually ate everything until he was about a year old and then got fussy after that. I would say that things started to improve when he was maybe 2.5 years, so a bit of a long way off I'm afraid!

Things that I found helpful were lots of opportunities for messy play (which he hated for ages!) and keeping on offering different foods (alongside stuff that I thought he would eat) but trying not to stress if he didn't try them. Also celebrating small victories - like if he picked up a previously rejected food even if he didn't eat it. Above all, not to stress about the food and all the things that he wouldn't eat, as when I got stressed about it that just made him worse.

 

[seaweed eater]

Thanks both of you that is really helpful, and it's so nice to hear from people who understand! OmarsMum, I'm glad that using spoon and fork was helpful, I've been hoping that that will help mine too. He lets other people spoon feed him but when given a spoon he just uses his fingers to remove the food, and makes a disgusted face Polaris, I hope it's not until 2.5 for us...but that's better than never!

I'm glad this group exists...this "sensitive" thing fits on so many levels.