Sensitive kids group

[DaisyBee]

It was so much easier to concentrate on Megan before Jordan was born. And I really feel bad about that... As feel like Megan needs that extra attention. And yet I feel like Jordan gets sooo much less attention then Megan did as a baby and I feel horrible about that as well! Lol I can't win either way I dont think. Classes without Jordan or where Megan would go and be with the teacher and other kids and I could just watch would be better as it gets chaotic when I'm dealing with Jordan and yet supposed to be helping and supervising Megan. Like that science sensory class we went to early fall that the teacher kept frowning at Megan. I think now that Megan is 3 there might be a few of those type of classes that its more of kids dance vs. Kids and moms dance. And I know what you mean about the classes with the babies being more chaotic. And I feel having Megan be around 3 yr old vs just turning 2 year olds will be good for her. As she has changed a lot the past year. She is calmer. She is still intense and sensitive, but not so toddler as well. And think she would do best with kids that aren't so toddler as well.

If I find a weekend class then I can find a babysitter, but haven't found any drop in regular daycare near here. And I don't think she would nap there anyway. Lol which is why we are stuck at home in the first place.

We have so much less here for the kids. I think it doesn't help that a lot of women are working. I'm in the way minority by being a sahm. I know very few women that stay home.

The Dino world sounds fun!

 

[Tacey]

Another enormous post coming up...

Polaris - It's amazing having family around isn't it? Make the most of it! My parents are up for the day next week, and I can't wait!

Omarsmum - sorry you had such a difficult day. Don't beat yourself up about it though. We've all had days like that, I'm sure. We've been fortunate with the hair cutting thing. For a start, my mum was a hairdresser, so has done Alice's hair with mind blowing amounts of patience! We used to do half Alice's head while she napped, then made sure she slept on the other side next day to do the other half! We've now found a hairdresser who specialises in children with sensory issues or behaviour issues. He's amazing!

Hope the transition to long sleeves and trousers goes well.

As for coping with two, I'm not exactly a shining example at the moment! I'm fortunate that Arthur is generally a very laid back baby. The poor lad doesn't get much attention though, so the 6 hours a week we get without Alice is a bonus. I actually think that despite the exhaustion, having another child has been a real benefit to my relationship with Alice. It's less intense than it used to be as I can't focus entirely on her. She's matured a lot since I had him, which I'm sure is developmental, but I think it was helped by the change in my priorities.

DaisyBee - I hope the girls are on the mend soon. It must be tricky trying to sort going to an activity for Megan when you've got Jordan too. at the moment, Arthur is happy to be on my back in the carrier, but we may have to rethink our options once he's mobile. How would she be at a group without you there do you think?

There's usually just one other girl at the childminder's. She'll be three in December. Today the childminder's three boys were off school, but they all went to the soft play place, and Alice has come home full of excitement. we had an issue getting her to leave!

Cutie - how's the ballet class going? I've been thinking about Alice trying dance instead of cooking next term. Does Christina enjoy it?

Our week goes like this:
Monday - storytime at the library. It's a free, 45 minute long session where they read a story, then do a craft, then some singing. It's a bit below her level, and she refused to go this week, so we may be finishing with that.
Tuesday - free
Wednesday - a 45 minute cooking session. DH has been taking her recently, as I've been going to therapy.
Thursday and Friday - 9.30-12.30 at the childminder. That's mainly just playing at her house, but with some trips to a children's centre play group, and they went to soft play today.
Saturday - free
Sunday - MIL takes her to church.

The week feels quite balanced at the moment. I am really feeling the benefit of those child care hours!

Phew! I must post more often so I don't end up writing a novel every time!

 

[OmarsMum]

Daisybee- most mums my age here are working mums, the culture is a bit weird, almost every household have a fulltime cleaner/ housekeeper, but unfortunately in many houses those cleaners take the roll of a nanay also they are unqualified for the job. Our housekeeper helps with Omar, I drop them I a play area when I have to go for grocery shopping, & she plays for an hr or two with him at home to give me a break to cook or shower. But she doesn't babysit, offer him food, put him in bed, etc.

When we go to classes most kids are with the so called "nannies" , this is why Omar is the odd kid who comes with his mummy to classes.

Daisybee- does Megan cling to you? It seems that I'm the only one with a very clingy 3 yrs old around those I know.

Tacey- glad you have some more time to spend with Arthur & it seems that you have more structure since Alice started to go to the childminder

We're waiting until Omar goes to pre-school before we ttc. I honestly don't think I can cope now with a toddler & a baby.

 

[DaisyBee]

We live in a small town and there is very little offered for kids under 3. We had signed up for a baby class this fall before I realized it wouldn't work anyway... But it got canceled for lack of interest. Once 3 there are a few limited options. The bigger town near us will have a bit more, but it's still not a city, there aren't museums and zoos, etc. We are lucky that we have a small zoo very close to us, maybe 5 miles away. Otherwise for an actual real zoo we stay in hotel overnight and make a weekend of it. We havent done that yet this whole year though with jordan. The year before we did that quite often. The aquarium is the same as the zoo... It's a weekend thing as too far away for just a morning or whatever. Pools arent a big thing here either, they are more of an outdoor summer thing and that's when our town pool will be open again.

Tacey- cooking class would be so fun for Megan!! I havent seen anything like that offered here. What types of things are they cooking?

When we've done toddler groups ( which I'm not sure if they are the same as there?) you have to sign up for the classes and pay for the semester. They are in one of the preschool rooms with one of the preschool teachers on a morning she doesn't have a class. So all the preschool toys are out. They have crafts and singing, free play. And then parents leave and go down the hall to chat about the kids with a parent educator and the kids stay with the preschool teacher and an assistant. They have a snack and then more free play, usually a book, sometimes another small craft. When we first started with those types she was 20 months. She cried every time I left the room. But was fine after a few minutes. We missed most of spring ones with Jordan being a newborn. We went to one and then both girls got sick and I decided jordan didn't need to be exposed that soon. Lol by then though Megan wasn't crying when I left. And we did a literacy class in the park this summer that was once a week. It was a bit the same as first part parents stayed and then we moved to a different area of the park while kids had snack and time with just the teacher. Megan was totally fine with me leaving. I really think what has helped her with that was me being pregnant. Lol not telling you to get pregnant omarsmum. Lol but with my bp issues, jordans cysts on her brain, extra growth scans since Megan was iugr... Meant I had a ton of dr appts. My mil helped watch Megan for all of those either at our house or hers. And at first Megan was crying. But she got used to it. We talked a lot about that I always come back. And she still says that, "you came back!" we always tell her where we are going and when we will be home. She is now totally ok with us leaving and coming back. All those dr visits really helped her figure that all out.

It would be nice to have a housekeeper!!! Jealous for the cleaning bit and the extra person to help keep the toddler busy once in a while! Lol

 

[Tacey]

The cooking group is lovely. I wasn't sure it would be worth it at first as we already cok a lot at home, but it's nice to get out meeting other people. There are just 5 or so children at the moment aged 2-5. They make all sorts. This week it was a parsnip and celeriac bake. They do little activities and taste different ingredients too.

The toddler groups sound very different from the ones we go to. Here, they are usually just a hall with toys from baby stuff up to toddler things. They may also have a craft table or an easel with paints out. It's not taught or supervised, so you watch your own children (or not in an annoying number of cases!). There may be a bit of singing at the end, but that's as structured as it gets. To be honest, I find them overwhelming. The acoustics are usually awful, and magnify the sound of 30 odd small children haring about. On the upside, they're usually free or ask for £1 donation for the hall hire. I don't think Alice gets much, if anything out of them though.

I second the housekeeper jealousy. Mind you, if one saw the state of our house, they'd probably resign on the spot...

 

[OmarsMum]

I love having a housekeeper I do need the help, I honestly can't get anything done all day as he needs me around him 24/7. I'm not exaggerating, he goes with me to the toilet, he will not sleep if I don't cuddle him, he wakes up as soon as I leave bed, he drives me insane all day. Tonight when we went to bed he told me that he doesn't want mummy to leave him.

This is the place we go to for classes, it's too expensive & it's in another city, but we don't have anything (classes or groups) close by.

https://www.kidville.com/

I don't like toddlers groups, they are very overwhelming & crowded.

Today I took Omar's nappy off, he did great, we had one accident only, he was running towards the bathroom, but he was too late so he ended up with a wee in his underpants.

But he was so whiney all day, when. Put on his night nappy before bedtime, he became a different kid, he was so cheerful & funny, he couldn't even sleep, & he jumped for almost an hour on the trampoline. He told me that he needs his nappies, but I think he's ready to go without them all day.

I'm not sure what I should do tomorrow.

 

[Tacey]

I think I want to sign up to those classes! That looks amazing! A shame it's not closer to you.

Sounds like Omar did amazingly well without nappies! For what it's worth, I'd suggest sticking with it. You've said before how resistant he is to change, but once he's used to it, he settles down. He's probably not going to be too happy initially, but would he be happy if you left it a few months either? It sounds like he's ready physically, and maybe needs a bit of a push.

for being followed around all the time. That must be so hard. I think we have opposite issues in that regard! How would he take to you asking him to do an activity on his own for 5 minutes while you went in another room?

 

[OmarsMum]

Thanks Hun, I guess I will stick to it.

I tried to engage him in an activity & leave the room, but it never worked I can't even sit in the same room without playing with him, he needs ongoing interaction. Even when he watches TV (not much lately) I have to sit close to him. This is why I, DH & the housekeeper take turns in intertaining him.

When he goes to bed he talks & talks until he falls asleep, he asks me to cuddle him tight, to cover him, to give him water, etc. I feel drained. He wakes up several times at night to make sure I'm still sleeping next to him, he sleeps too close to me. I have no idea what to do.

 

[DaisyBee]

I would keep with the potty training. I think the diapers are just a security blanket for him. And that would explain the different attitude when they were back on. Hes probably a bit stressed without them til he figures out he can really do it. Megan doesnt want to nap without hers even though she is almost always dry at nap. And I really think maybe she is deciding just to use the diaper when she wakes being lazy about it, vs going while she is sleeping. I haven't pushed it yet as she has been switching beds so much. Lol but after Xmas I'm going to try. She is in underwear all day besides the nap and is totally toilet trained besides needing some help wiping. Which she would gladly take over but she isn't good enough for me to let her. Lol (nights she isn't dry at all and I'm not thinking about that yet)

Megan is middle ground when at home. She stays pretty close most of the time. If she goes in her room she will be back in 5 minutes to talk about something. Lol she was very very clingy after Jordan was born and I feel like she is just getting past that. She wants to do things with me, I've not ever taken a shower without her coming to talk to me at least a few times. Sometimes she wants to shower with me. She does sometimes going to bed alone and other times asking me to stay with her or come back in.

The cooking classes sound very fun for kids! And toddler groups there sound horrible! Ours is called a class and it's really a pre - preschool. We pay 10-15 for those types of classes for just one class. There was supposed to be a gym one but that keeps getting canceled as well for lack of interest. And that is age 2-5

Omarsmum - those classes look amazing! I so wish we had things like that here! I would drive too for them!

 

[cutie4evr01]

I think you should stick with the potty training too - definitely sounds like he's ready. And I too am super jealous of you having a housekeeper - I need one!

Christina is clingy, but doesn't sound quite as much as Omar. Definitely while we are out she will stick right by my side and cry if I get more than 2 ft away, but at home she's ok playing something by herself for a few minutes, and recently even will play with her paint/glue/stickers in another room for a few minutes, which is a massive improvement. She certainly prefers me to play with her though. And she likes being picked up a lot. I'm just glad I can go to the bathroom by myself now.

It's definitely hard having two kids, especially as young as they are. I always feel like I'm not giving either of them enough attention, but I'm doing the best I can and they both seem to be coping fine. I think Christina was young enough when Caitlyn was born that she doesn't really remember any time without her. Now that Caitlyn's getting older and is very advanced verbally, I feel like I am always a mediator between them - either bugging each other or wanting the same toy/book/etc. On the flip side, they also can play together and keep each other entertained a little now. I love that they are so close.

I think cooking class sounds awesome! I don't know of any classes or toddler groups in our area, but a lot of preschools have toddler classes, so from age 1 and up they could go to a 3-hr preschool class for 2,3,4, or 5 days/wk if we wanted them to. I would like Christina to go to preschool next August (when she's 3.5), but I have to arrange transportation for her to get from there to her daycare, so I don't know yet if it will work out.

Are any of your kids sensitive to food in their teeth? When Christina gets something stuck in her teeth, like apple, she immediately asks to floss her teeth and won't eat anything else until we floss it out.

 

[Tacey]

Funny you should mention the food in teeth. This has happened to Alice a couple of times this week, but never had done before. And yes, we had to stop everything and get the food out straight away!

 

[polaris]

Omarsmum, Thomas is very clingy to me! I am really enjoying the break with my mum being here as he is attached to her all day instead of me. It's such a relief to be honest. I usually can't do anything without him literally hanging out of me and climbing onto my lap etc. He doesn't really play independently for more than a couple of minutes. However he does go to sleep by himself so I guess I should be really thankful for that.

I agree with the others to keep going with the potty training, it definitely sounds like he is ready. OK the transition might be a bit stressful but that's maybe going to be the case even if you leave it for longer.

Thomas hates getting food stuck in his teeth.

 

[polaris]

In relation to activities, I find that Thomas can only really do one main activity/class per day although he is getting much better in that respect. When he was younger I couldn't stop into the shops on the way home from something because he wouldn't have coped with it, but he is fine with that now. Omarsmum, I think we've all had days where we just end up doing too much just out of necessity or how it worked out.

At the moment I'm trying to put a bit more structure on our week. Thomas isn't in daycare or preschool at all so he doesn't have that. What we do in relation to structured activities: Tuesday morning, we have an art class and Sunday morning we have a swimming class, that's really all at the moment. There is also a toddler group that is on every morning but it is very similar to what Tacey describes and it doesn't really suit Thomas's personality so we don't go too often. Other activities we do include museum, zoo, library, park & playground, occasionally softplay. But all of these activities tend to be quite individual and he doesn't really mix with any other children there. OH usually takes Thomas out once or twice a week too.

I am very lucky that OH does shift work so he is often here in the mornings so I can often leave Clara napping at home and head out somewhere with Thomas. At the moment Clara is usually having a good two hour nap in the mornings from about 9 to 11, but sometimes she sleeps longer than that. So we just have to be back by about 11.30 for Clara's feed. This is quite a new thing but I am really enjoying being able to spend some time one-to-one with Thomas.

 

[Kel127]

I think I'm the only full time working mom here, so while I do enjoy the "break" something, I am jealous that you get to take your children out to groups and classes. There aren't many groups available on the weekends. I used to take him to Gymboree when he was small, but its very expensive and not doable with 2 children.
This thread moves kinds fast and I don't get many opportunities to write so I will try to stay as caught up as I can.

Connor is also very clingy, and wants my attention all the time when I'm with him. He doesn't really like his sister. He has been very jealous and has had a few regressions. He often trys to babble like her and pretends to fall down and hurt himself to get attention. He used to try and shove her off my lap when she was nursing, but doesnt do it often anymore. Most of the time he ignores her, but gets upset when she touches him or his toys. He won't get close enough to her for me to get any pictures of them together.

Omarsmum- Connor and Omar sound very alike. Connor will wear long pants but its nearly impossible to get him to wear a long sleeved shirt or jacket. He also hates socks and shoes but has gotten better about wearing them, as long a they come off as soon as we get home. He also makes me change him immediatley if he gets anything on his cothes.

I realized in my first post that I listed everything that makes Connor difficult, but I didn't tell you about what makes him so wonderful. He is so sweet and loves to to cuddle. He started off behind in his speech, but in the last 6 months he has not only caught up but surpassed most of my kids children. He has a great memory, and can repeat a song after only hearing it 1-2 times. He loves to sing and does so all day long. He knows every musical instrument by site and sound. We plan to get him into paino and guitar lessons when he is a little older.

 

[polaris]

I'm a full-time working mum too usually, but I'm on maternity leave at the moment, it's great! I am really lucky to get six months on full pay and I can then take another 16 weeks unpaid. However I'm trying to negotiate an extra few months of unpaid leave at the moment and I'm hoping not to have to go back to work until January 2014. I will go back four days a week initially when I do go back, this is parental leave and lasts about a year and a half when taken one day a week. I'd love to stay part-time longer than that though!

 

[DaisyBee]

Everything is ready for the party and Megan is just waking up and Jordan is just going to sleep so have a moment to sit before everyone gets here!

Kel - it is fast moving... I think it's because it's so nice to write about these things and everyone is so supportive and understands. I was going to ask about Connors tics ( is that what you call it?) is it very random that he does it, is it when he is tired or stressed?

Megan is so excited for her birthday ( which really is tomorrow). Dh and I were watching videos of Megan at Xmas last year and we hadn't realized how much she has changed and grown. It's made me really emotional today thinking that she is already 3. Time has gone so fast!

 

[OmarsMum]

Happy birthday Megan hope you all have a wonderful day Hun yeah they grow up so fast!

Yesterday we had 1 hr meltdown when I tried to dress him in a full sleeves t-shirt before we went out he wasn't so bothered once he had it on. & we had a good time at the waterfront.

Today he had a poop on the toilet but he had a wee accident few mins back

Omar also gets irritated from food stuck between his teeth, he sticks his fingers in his mouth & he tried to take it out, then he asks to brush his teeth. He brushes his teeth after every meal & snack

 

[Tacey]

Happy birthday to Megan! Hope the party went well.

Yay for toilet poo! How's Omar feeling about being without nappies now. Any happier?

 

[OmarsMum]

He's less bothered today, he was fine when I put him in underpants & he didn't fight it. I think it's working

Now he's jumping on the trampoline without a nappy, yesterday & the day before he refused to go on the trampoline as he was scared to hurt himself.

 

[polaris]

Happy birthday to Megan! Hope the party went really well yesterday and that you all have a lovely day today too.

Omarsmum - yay, that's great news that the transition out of nappies is going well, brilliant that he had a poo on the toilet!!