Sensitive kids group

[Tacey]

Daisybee - I'd definitely recommend getting a bit of time away, or just with one child at a time. I've needed to take an hour a week away from both children to go to therapy, and although I was dreading it, it's actually really helped our family dynamic. I'm hoping the 6 hours a week Alice will be away will be good for us both too.
Everyone has different needs when it comes to that sort of thing, but I think it's easy to overlook ourselves. Getting a babysitter in sounds like a great idea. Really good to hear your MIL may be getting more of an idea about Megan. Hopefully she'll be more supportive in future.

Omarsmum - I hope Omar's sleep settles down soon. Have you ever tried guided meditation with him? I tell Alice to imagine she's lying on a cloud, looking below, and I describe different things she can see each night. Then I tell her she starts to get so sleepy, she can't even keep her eyes open, so she snuggles into the cloud, which is so soft and warm... etc. It's helped her, as she panics when she can't sleep, so I tell her not to try to sleep, just to imagine the cloud and what she can see. When she stops trying to sleep, she often drops straight off!

Polaris - so glad to hear Thomas is feeling better. Must be a weight of your mind. Great that he's getting on well with his bike too. It will be a good success story to refer to if he shies away from an unfamiliar situation in future too. I've just got Alice a new helmet, so she'll be using hers again soon. Our issue is a bit different, as I'm the one who's scared when she uses it! One of her strengths is that she will stick doggedly to a new skill until she's cracked it. Scary to watch though!

Cutie - Sleep training clocks are a godsend aren't they? Ours hasn't made Alice sleep longer, but it has (usually) stopped her parading into our room at 5am! I'd loved to have seen Santa's face when asked for a chew toy!

Has anyone read The Out of Sync Child? There's an introduction to it here. It's about sensory processing disorder, which might be interesting to some of us. I'm thinking about getting it. I'm wary of yet another book that labels, but I found the Highly Sensitive Child made such a huge difference to our lives.

 

[Tacey]

Me again!

I just had to share. I'm having a pretty rough day today, and decided to go back up to bed. Alice asked what was wrong, and I told her I wasn't feeling good. She then gave me the biggest hug and a kiss on the cheek! It's the first hug or kiss she's given anyone except Arthur in months That she showed empathy and affection is a HUGE deal for us.

 

[DaisyBee]

Aww tacey - that is so great that Alice was showing affection to you!

I read ( some skimmed) the series of 3 books in the out of sync child series. I really liked the one that had games and ideas ( that really would be fun for any child) but the other 2 I felt were a bit negative. I read most of the one you mention above and I kept thinking well who doesn't do that? Or why is that a big deal? It seemed to be more of a negative book and I wasn't getting that vibe from the sensitive child book. I felt like it took all these quirks that anyone could have and made them seem like a big deal and important to change those things in our kids. I feel like some of these things are just people being individuals. I had thought maybe I should read them again, but buy them vs through the library so I can take my time with them vs being rushed through it. I liked some of the practical ideas in https://www.amazon.com/Raising-Sensory-Smart-Child-Integration/dp/014303488X/ref=cm_lmf_tit_3 I didn't get a chance to read this whole book either. I tried to reserve through my library so that it would only send me the one but save the others in my account for future but it sent me all of them. And then I only got to keep for 2 weeks as they were brought in from other libraries.
https://www.amazon.com/Sensational-Kids-Children-Processing-Disorder/dp/0399533079/ref=pd_vtp_b_3 This book seemed interesting as well.

Hope your day gets better

 

[polaris]

Hi everyone

Tacey, that's brilliant that Alice was affectionate and showed empathy to you. Yay!!

Daisybee - Thomas definitely finds it much harder to sleep after an exciting day but not as severe as Megan. It is difficult at family parties though because I always put Thomas to bed at pretty much his usual time but then he is generally awake for hours and everyone is asking me why didn't I just keep him up, he's obviously not tired. Whereas if I kept him up he would just go on getting more and more wired and he really wouldn't fall asleep at all!

I am really noticing the difference with Clara in that she is nowhere near as sensitive (so far) to her sleep being interrupted/delayed. For example if she has a short nap in the car she is maybe a bit tired but basically fine until her next sleep. Whereas Thomas didn't cope well with that at all.

 

[cutie4evr01]

Yay Tacey, that's awesome about Alice's affection!

 

[DaisyBee]

Hi everyone!

We had a great weekend. I got out of the house saturday night as dh didn't have to be on call. I got some shopping done for Xmas and megans bday party supplies. Megan and I went grocery shopping Sunday and bought things for baking Xmas goodies. We also went out for lunch just the 2 of us. It was so fun - she was in a really good mood and tht helped a lot. She got really overstimulated saturday morning and we aren't sure what triggered it. I held her in her room on her chair and we turned the light off and white noise on. She chewed on her triangle and we used the weighted blanket. She was breathing very deeply, like trying to calm herself down.

This afternoon I'm getting the girls pictures done. Megan hasn't done well with this in the past and I've been telling her all weekend what to expect. Mil is coming with me. And then she is going to take Megan for an hour and I'm going to go shopping for myself for some clothes. I'm taking Jordan with me I think.

Jordan has been very fussy the past few days but not acting like she is teething. I can't figure out what is going on. I'm hoping it's a very short phase. Lol

I think I'm almost done with Xmas shopping. What has everyone gotten for the kids?

 

[polaris]

Hi Daisybee, I'm so glad you had a nice weekend after the ordeal of Thanksgiving. You are well organized with Christmas presents - I've only just started thinking about it really.

Thomas has asked for a Buzz Lightyear toy that he saw in the Disney store - I'm not that keen but he has his heart set on it I think. I have also got him a marble run as he absolutely loved playing with marbles in my mum's house when we were visiting (I'm thinking now though that it's a bit of a silly present even though he would love it as he won't be able to play with it around Clara due to the choking risk). Not sure yet about stocking fillers.

For Clara, I am just getting her a Lamaze Freddie the Firefly toy and maybe a couple of books. Really just so she has something to open as we don't really need anything for her.

 

[Tacey]

Sound like a lovely weekend! The way you deal with Megan's over stimulation sounds so fantastic. She's a lucky girl to have a mum like you. From what you say about her breathing, she seems to be finding ways that help her calm down too, that's such an important step.

We've got Alice a till for Christmas. It's a bit of a sly present, as although she's obsessed with letters and reading, numbers haven't got a look in so far. The till has a calculator attached, and I'm sneakily hoping it might spark a bit of interest! I also had a moment of madness and got her a harmonica for her stocking. I'll be regretting that by Boxing day...

Arthur has a very cute set of a long sleeved vest and dungarees. He'll be enjoying eating the wrapping paper, so it's more of a token gift really!

Polaris, I'd love a marble run - if we had one, I don't think Alice would get a go, as I'd be playing! It will get loads of use, even if it has to be out of Clara's way for a bit (incidentally, I love her name, if Arthur had been a girl, that was on our list!)

I'd planned to go to story time at the library, but Alice told me " I NEED a day at home." with a very serious face, so we did, and it's been lovely. We got on really well, made dinner, a pom pom, and a slightly terrifying quantity of festive play dough. I think it's done us both good. Interestingly, MIL popped over and Alice got very upset and asked me to take her 'straight to bed.' I think she's really needing space. I suppose it's been a big transition time for her.

 

[OmarsMum]

Hi ladies sorry I was away.

Tacey, Aww..sounds fab that Alice was affectionate & showing empathy

Daisy- glad you had a good time Hun

Polaris- Omar loves his marble run, he got it for his birthday, & he plays with it almost everyday.

We're going out everyday, we're so busy & I'm loving it. He's asking to go out those days, & he doesn't fight dressing anymore.

We went to a resort with a zoo on Saturday, I was a bit disappointed as he didn't really get so excited, but he fed the animals some grass which is a progress. He asked to go home several times, & we didn't have a very good time at dinner, I tried to distract him with my iPad, his leappad, his DVD player, but nothing worked. So I had to leave the restaurant & take him to the mall close by, he was so naughty & he kept stopping the stroller with his feet

He slept well at the hotel as he was so exhausted. Next morning he didn't settle until we left, we had to stop for lunch on our way home but he was so difficult. Again I spent the time outside running & playing with him.

Btw, I started to journal

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/g...ng-home-decoration-more-omarsmum-journal.html

I have a lot going on & I can't keep posting single threads for everything

Stalkers are welcome

 

[DaisyBee]

Tacey - transition time for Alice meaning with Arthur? Sounds like a great present for her. Megan likes numbers and starting to recognize them but for a girl who looks at books and loves us reading to her for hours a day - she has very little interest in letters. Dh thinks maybe it has to do with her being left handed? I think the only letters she recognizes are M, O ( because its shaped like a circle - lol), and A, and X. But I havent pushed her at all with it. I didnt push with colors, shapes,etc and she picked those up very quickly before age 2. So I was thinking once showing more interest she will pick up letters quickly too.

Polaris - marble run sounds very fun. I had debated and then decided with Jordan going to be mobile soon that i should wait another year. Im already going to have to figure out what to do with some of megans things that have small pieces. I don't think Megan will keep them up so I'm thinking some things maybe have to be put away for a bit. And just keep some things out that she can do when Jordan is sleeping.

It's easier for me to do Xmas things early with megans bday being this weekend. This way I can concentrate on the bday and then we can do baking and wrapping without being rushed. Dh is on call the weekend after her bday. And then Xmas will be right around the corner.

I said I wasn't going overboard but I still bought more than I was planning on megans bday she is getting scratch and sniff books ( a few are Xmas themed so we thought it would be nice reading them before Xmas), happy birthday moon book by frank asch, a paint by water book, ( going to wrap these all together. Then https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000OSHG6E/ref=oh_details_o00_s01_i01 , and this https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0035A4DF0/ref=oh_details_o00_s00_i00. She is obsessed with making birthday soup from the Little Bear book that we read a lot. Every time she helps me make soup she calls it birthday soup. She constantly plays birthday soup at the dinner table as well with her spoon and anytime she has a bowl. So this is going to be perfect for her.

Xmas The girls are getting a wagon as a combined gift that we plan on using for going to the zoo, park, etc.
Jordan is getting dear Zoo book, https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B004A9Q4OI/ref=oh_details_o00_s01_i00, https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B...product/0756615151/ref=oh_details_o04_s00_i04 and a toy phone.
Megan is getting https://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=13375957, wikki stix, and a couple of books, melissa and doug geometric stacker, and melissa and Doug stacking train. In her stocking she is getting a toothbrush, chapstick, candy necklace, straw sippy cup even though she is mostly using normal cups now - but she is jealous of jordans cups, felt board pieces, rock crayons, and star crayons. Jordan so far has baby food puffs ( rice puffs she picks up to eat ), and a baby toothbrush. Im not sure what else to put in there. Thinking something she needs or getting baby food out of the cupboard to fill it up, haha.

 

[Tacey]

I was thinking transition with the childminder, and generally being away from me more often. It's quite new for us, and it's all had to happen quite suddenly. I don't think I'm very easy to live with at the moment either, so I think she's feeling a bit insecure.

I definitely agree with not pushing things before they show an interest. I think it does more harm than good. I've read quite a bit on autonomous learning and 'unschooling' in preparation for home ed, and found lots of research showing no link between early reading and improved standards later. Quite a lot suggests the opposite. I was fully prepared to have a non reader until she was 7 or so, so it's taken me by surprise that she's reading already. She's an all or nothing personality though. She's reading well above her age, but can't consistently count higher than 14!

The presents sound great! The birthday soup story was one of my favourites, and now Alice loves it too. They are such beautifully written books. The soup pot will go down brilliantly, I'm sure!

 

[cutie4evr01]

Well we have had a whirlwind of a weekend! Early Saturday morning we got the call that my grandfather had passed away (he has been home on hospice care with advanced stomach cancer for about 7 weeks now, so although very sad, it was expected). So we drove home from my in-laws house (5-hr trip) on Saturday morning, spent Saturday night at home, and then Sunday morning up early to drive 4.5 hours the opposite direction to my mom's house to attend the funeral this morning, and then drove 4.5 hours back tonight so DH can go to work tomorrow. Whew, I'm exhausted just typing it out. Thankfully the girls have done really well on all the road trips and adjusted ok to sleeping in these different places. My mom arranged for someone to watch them today during the funeral as I don't think we could keep them sitting still and quiet for so long, but they didn't have naps so tomorrow may be disastrous. They will be home with me tomorrow though, so we'll all have a day to recover before getting back to our usual routine of working/daycare/etc.

Santa got Christina the Dora backpack and chew toy she's been asking for, and we bought her an art easel and a set of lacing beads, but we may save those for her birthday in Jan because she's getting lots of Christmas presents from grandparents. I have so many other ideas of things I'd like to get Christina (magnet set, stamps/ink pad, doctor bag, musical instruments) but I want her to enjoy and appreciate all of these, which I don't think she will do if she gets them all at the same time. So I think I will hold off on getting anything else for now, and maybe get those for her along and along over the next year. We don't have any good ideas of things to get Caitlyn because we already have everything. I think she will enjoy unwrapping things but won't care what's inside, so we are thinking of wrapping up some of her favorite snacks, or some books I bought them a while back and saved for Christmas.

I'm enjoying reading the differences between what all the kids are learning and are interested in. Christina enjoys letters, and seems like she wants to learn to read, but hasn't gotten the hang of it yet. She recognizes all letters and can tell you what sound they make and a word that starts with them, but the grouping the sounds together to sound out a word hasn't clicked for her yet. I've been amazed actually at her interest in writing letters. She can write most of the letters with straight lines (I, E, T, H, etc.) and several with a single swoop curve (C, O, Q, G), and it seems like it happened overnight - one day she was just drawing lines, and the next she was asking me how to write the letters. However, she can't recite the alphabet (or maybe she knows it, but I've never heard her do it). She was the same way with numbers - she recognized them all long before she recited numbers 1-10, and by the time she could recite them, she also could count meaningfully. Even now she won't recite numbers past 10 unless she's counting objects. If she's just counting and I say "what comes after 10?", she won't keep counting, but if she has 12 raisins on her plate, she can count them correctly. It's really interesting to me because she also can't recite any songs or rhymes, or the lines to any of her favorite books, even though she clearly knows what's coming next because she can paraphrase the story. Maybe she's just not good at memorizing things? Anyway, it's been interesting to me to see what everyone else is learning at this age.

 

[DaisyBee]

Tacey yes of course child minder. I was confused. Lol that is a big transition for even non-sensitive kids. I remember those first few weeks with new kids in daycare. And change is harder for sensitive kids, so I imagine it will take alice a bit to get used to it. Megan has been not as secure after Jordan was born. I've been working really hard at making her feel secure. I am very aware that with her sensitivity that if I am depressed, anxious, stressed, etc that she picks up on that and that it affects her. I've been trying to not be obvious and trying to help myself so that it doesn't affect her. It's a worry of mine.

Omarsmum - I'm so glad that you guys have been busy! That is a big thing for Omar! Im sure it will take him a while to get used to being out more. Megan either seems to do really well in restaurants or it's a complete disaster. It's all up to her mood. If she is overtired or overstimulated it's just horrible. If she is well rested and not overwhelmed it goes so well. It's never in the middle.... Fabulous or horrible. And really so many things for us are like that. Nothing is ever middle ground it seems.

Pictures today went sooo good! Megan did great! The best she has done since her 6 mo pics I think. She didn't cry until almost the end. The photographer would tell her how he wanted her to sit or pose and she would say no. Haha. He kept trying to persuade her, but she wasn't going to let him change her mind, and I would try to help him out by talking to her about it. But if she wasn't into it, she wouldn't do it. And I decided that was ok. He wanted her to lay on her stomach. She refused. He wanted her to put her hands together like praying and put them on her cheek, no way. Lol But the sitting and holding Jordan pictures she did so great. She was smiling!! The last 2 times she didn't have any pics without tears. So I ordered Xmas cards as well. I told her how big of girl she was and how proud I was, etc. She said "your welcome" lol. I think me talking about it so much maybe really made a big difference?

 

[DaisyBee]

Cutie I'm sorry about your grandpa. What a big weekend for all of you! I'm glad the girls handled the car ride as well as they did.

That is interesting to hear about what our kids are learning. They really are so different aren't they? Megan memorizes songs after hearing it once. She can sing more than 50 songs I'm sure. And she makes up new random songs all the time. She is constantly singing. ( but she doesnt really ever dance, and weve realized as jordan is now dancing that megan never really has ever danced much.)Today on the way to the studio she sang wheels on the bus... And made up lots of new verses. Like the roosters on the bus go cockadoodle do, the cars on the bus go vroom vroom vroom. And then she sang old macdonald had a farm with lots of verses for 5 minutes. And she says lines from her books all the time even during play. I think she has most of the books memorized. She knows the name of every book on her bookshelf by seeing the cover. And she memorizes the names of the books that are shown on the back of the books she has. Like on the back if they show other books by that author or same publisher. She asks what all those are called and even though we don't own or even have read those books, she can tell you the names of them when asked.
She shows zero interest in learning to write letters. She will scribble and say thats abc's. She will draw big elaborate scribbles and she has a story that goes with it. Like the other day she said this...thats a man and there is his forehead, eyebrows, nose, mouth, chin, his shoulders, elbows, knees, ankles, left foot and right foot. He is going to the store to buy some ice cream. Chocolate ice cream. There is his car ( as she points to a different area of her scribbling). He needs to find his keys. And then she went off to find my orange peeler and pretend to unlock doors in the house with it. ( as I'm assuming thinking of keys made her think of that). She will draw things and it will look like something and when she is done she says that's a car or that's a hippopotamus and its what it looks like, but I don't think she started with an attempt to draw a car. She just drew and it turned out that way. Lol

She will talk about the shape of things constantly. And she notices the color of everything. And matching. She notices when anything matches, whether size or color or whatever she takes notice of that. She is very interested in baking and cooking real food. She wants to use real tools and help to make or fix things and gets very upset if she isn't allowed to handle certain tools. It's why we are thinking her bday present will be a big hit. She isn't asking why questions at all yet. She is asking "what's that" for everything she sees or hears though and that's been going on forever but lately it seems different. Driving to my parents house last weekend it was constant and she would point or say sometimes what she thought it was or say what's that over there by the barn, etc. I was trying to tell her about hay bales and how they are made and what they are used for. And today while reading miss Mary Mack book ( which she has pretty much memorized and we sing it ... It's one I remember from when I was young but she has a book with it. ) and the elephant has hay and peanut tea. So she noticed he had hay and was thinking elephants don't like hay, only cows and horses. Lol and some of what she was saying I was realizing was from my attempt to explain hay to her last week. That was fun to see her have that connection.

She has been wanting to be very independent and starting to want to go to the bathroom without my help. And she wants to get on the toilet without using her step. She wants to get everything herself. She wants to turn lights on and off without help and without her step. She wants to get on and off her bed without help and without a step. She is showing interest in dressing herself. She is undressing herself quite often, even when not appropriate. Lol we were at my inlaws and she decided she didn't want her pants on anymore so she pulled her pants and underwear down until she realized she had shoes on. And then I got to her and helped her put them back on. Haha. She has been wanting to clean up toys herself more as well! That is a big surprise! Everything lately is "I can do it myself"!

 

[OmarsMum]

I will read the posts later, I have to go after few mins

But I have a new finding. I noticed that with Omar, he resists change, but once it's part of his routine, he gets used to it & he asks for it. We used to take him for rides in malls a lot during the summer as it's too hot for outdoor activities. But we stopped now as the weather is nice. Now he refuses to go into the rides & he says it's scary.

The same with climbing frames in play areas/ parks. Last month he was fine with the climbing frame at the park. Recently we were going for walks & playing with the ball & his push toys instead of going to the play area at the park, when I took him yesterday to the outdoor play area he told me that he can't do it.

He acts the same in classes, if we don't go to a class for a while, he feels left out & he refuses to join in.

So now I have a plan, instead of sticking to one activity in a week & forgetting about other activities, I will schedule activities to make sure he goes to a different activity at least once a week & to make it as part of his routine. I found that if we follow a strict schedule when it comes to activities, & once he gets used to those activities he get more used to it & he has more control over his emotions & stimulation.

I will comment later on posts, I have to give Omar his lunch, as we have 2 classes after 2 hours xxx

 

[polaris]

Omarsmum - Thomas is very similar, he does much better with a reasonably fixed routine from week to week. I am still working on this as his routine keeps changing since I've been on maternity leave and now we have to work around Clara a bit too. But the days that we have a regular activity that we do every week on that day tend to go much better than the days when we play it by ear and decide what to do on the day.

It really is interesting the differences between them in learning, they really all have their own preferences. Thomas loves memorizing stuff (e.g. songs, books) but he has no real interest in letters, he definitely doesn't write any letters and actually doesn't really draw at all (he only draws snakes). He's not very interested in numbers either, he can rote count up to twenty but still makes lots of mistakes when actually counting things.

 

[DaisyBee]

Megan is the same in that she loves routine. She won't sleep without her sleep sack even if she is hot as it's routine. She doesn't like to eat new foods even if it's something she really would like as its new. It takes her a while to decide that new clothes are ok, but once she is ready to wear them she is ok with them.

But she also likes new experiences. She likes exploring new places. But yes those things are what overstimulate her a lot. But she can go to someplace a lot and it still overstimulates her - like the library. I've found that if something is a big routine to her she has a hard time leaving that routine. ( so like bedtime routine and nap routine. Where she sits for dinner, what cups she uses, etc) she wont want to alter those things even a little bit and fights change with them.) But for new experiences she will willingly go along with things. So we can go to new restaurants and a different zoo or class and she is ok. Those things it depends on the environment and her mood for how she does.

 

[OmarsMum]

Cutie, sorry for your loss Hun

Tacey- did Alice cry when you left her the 1st time?

Omar is into letters & numbers, he was 20 months when he was able to recognize all letters upper & lowercase. He's obsessed. If you spell a word using phonics he can write it easily & he's been doing it for months now. He knows letters names & sounds, he can recognize many written words, he can write all letters but he still struggles with "G" , He can easily link any word to a letter.

He can recognize written numbers upto 100.

He memorizes songs easily but he can't recite stories. He can make up stories using pics in books & he can tell the story in his own words. He makes up silly songs which is so cute. But he can't dance.

He knows complex shapes & he knows how many sides each shape has. He knows left from right, he can read basic time like 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock & so on. He knows colours in 2 languages other than English , he can count to ten in Spanish, Japanese, Tagalog & Arabic. He knows some shapes in Tagalog. He can draw a simple face, some shapes, he can write his name, mine, & many other words. He can colour & fill spaces but he prefers to write. He can draw a sun & tree. He understands logic like two triangles makes a square or rectangle, oval is a stretched circle, A looks like a triangle, O looks like a circle ep& so on.

He asks loads of "why" questions & he doesn't stop, he speaks fluently using Arabic & English, & he corrects his dad when he pronounces a word in English in a wrong way

I was so proud of him at soccer class, he didn't need me close to him, I sat on the bench with 2 other parents, he followed instructions & he played passing the ball with another toddler. He said bye to all his "friends" before we left.

He was also fine with foams colours using his hands at the arts class, he amazed them with his cutting skill when they cut playdoh. He also interacted with teachers when they started to mix red & yellow & he told them we will have orange.

He's not physical, he still can't dress/ undress himself, he can't use a spoon but he uses a fork perfectly.

 

[Kel127]

So glad I found this group, I just read the entire thread! Connor has Complex Motor Stereotypies (its a tic disorder) but it also causes him to have many sensory issues and ocd.
I'm at work right now, but I will write a longer post about Connor when I get home tonight.

 

[polaris]

Hi Kel, welcome! Glad that you found this thread, it's a really lovely supportive thread, looking forward to hearing more about Connor. (Love the name by the way, my second would have been Conor (Irish spelling) if she was a boy).