****September Stars!!****

[Asher]

Oooh Babythinkpink that doesn't sound good at all, I hope that you start to feel better soon.

I have just dropped both boys off for their last day with their childminder (Aunty Wendy!)... she has looked after Archie on and off for 5 years, and Jack for 2, so she really is like family. But as I'm not back at work for well over a year now, we can't justify spending the monthly money when I'm off. So today is their last day, and it's quite emotional really! Boo hoo!

So I am on my own today, I need to do some housework and walk the dogs, then chill out probably, although I'm not good at chilling out!

 

[Louise3512uk]

Hi ladies,
Limpets and babythinkpink I really hope you both feel better soon, seems the pregnancy related illness is starting to hit hard
LittleA great video!! It's so amazing isn't it!!

Pah, yet again I read all the posts and had something personal to say to everyone, and now it's all gone! I need to start keeping a pen and paper next to the laptop!!

Hope everyone is ok today, it seems to be a bit sunnier than previous days! I had a maaaaaaassive row with dh yesterday, he has days where he is really restless and NEEDS to do/buy something and he had one yesterday.... he decided that he wanted to buy an Xbox 360! And he would NOT take no for an answer!! I was so angry with him, I really felt like he had his priorities wrong this time and I told him so, we had a blazing row in tesco's car park and everything! We even rowed a bit in front of my stepsons which we do NOT do, I think it's so important that we are good role models for them and they need to see us sorting out differences etc in a mature way, not yelling and crying!!

Anyway, when I managed to get him to be a bit more reasonable, he explained to me that he has been thinking a lot about the fact that we are spending lots of money each month on the baby, and talking about her all the time, and planning things to buy, nursery etc, that he feels guilty for his two little boys that are getting pushed to the side a bit.... to be honest I don't think this is the case because they never want for anything when they are with us, we know that their mother plugs them into a playstation and leaves them there all day with no interaction/attention so we are always playing games/football/going swimming/bowling/painting etc.... but he said if we can afford it, why not buy something - a 'family' treat to enjoy with them and also to show them that it's not 'all' about the baby....

It's a difficult situation to be in for me, I love them both as if they were my own, goodness knows that we have fought for the last 3 years for residency over them - I would have them here full time in a heartbeat and I honestly believe I treat them like my own! Still, it must be hard for Wayne as he has to drop them off every Sunday with their mum... who is not a stable person..... and he feels like they automatically get a raw deal Still, we found out the other day that we are having them the whole summer holiday.... literally picking them up from school onthe last day, and dropping them off at 6pm on the Sunday the 5th ready for them to go back on the monday!!!! Only thing is, the 5th is my due date! It's a 5 1/2 hour round trip to Kent and back, I don't fancy sitting in a car for that long at 9 months pregnant, nor do I fancy Wayne being gone for that long so close to things happening!!!

Anyway.... sorry for the long rant, felt like I needed to vet a bit! xxxx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Louise, I can see you love the boys but a trip like that on your due date will be too hard surely..and what if Lilia comes early hun?? I guess you'll have to see what happens nearer the time, but I understand it is a tricky situation.

I am looking forward to the summer hols, but the day my son breaks up is exactly 6 weeks before I am due!...So 6 weeks of entertaining mostly on my own, the hot weather and preparing for baby it is going to be so hard. However, his Dad is taking him to Cornwall for a week in August so I do get that break, but hoping he is not away and missing the birth of his little brother. I guess like you, it will be a lovely time to spend with just the boys on their own before the arrival of little one so at least that get that invaluable undivided attention which they will love. I really want to make the time special and also get him excited about the impending arrival of little man. I'll probably get him involved in setting up the cot etc which he will enjoy.

I have to hope and pray that little man does not come in the first 2 weeks of August as the first week, OH would miss the birth and week 2 my son would! The last week is also out as the in-laws are away, so lets hope if he is early it is only a week!!! And my son starts junior school on 6th September and I don't want to miss his first day, so little man can't be 6 days late either...7 is okay! lol. xx

Anyway, sorry about the long and boring post, hope all you ladies can enjoy the sunshine...Babythinkpink, I hope yoou feel better soon. x

 

[MrsJ08]

Louise - I just read your post. Nobody replied to me the other day when I was having a rough time with my step-daughter so I didn't realise there was anyone else in a step-child situation like mine. I understand the complexities of the situation as my SD's mother is a nightmare and we have spent the best part of a year back and forth to court over access and residency. My SD is 11 so is going through a very difficult stage at the moment, caught between little girl and young lady. We went and bought her first bra on Saturday because her Mum couldn't be bothered to do it with her. WTF???! I understand things from both your perspective and also from your husband's. The bottom line is men are not very good at rationalising or dealing with guilt which explains the "Xbox moment". I've had a similar situation when my DH bought her a Nintendo DS for no reason whatsoever. I was not impressed as I felt it sent her the wrong message especially as it was only 2 weeks before her birthday. Mmm I must admit I feel for you over the Summer holiday situation. Is it not possible for you to take them back a week earlier? Did your DH agree to the whole holiday or was it as a result of a court order. We have SD for the first three weeks and I'm stressed about that despite the fact that I'm not due until mid September. We too have a long round trip of about 7 hours to take her home and drive back to London. From September we have no choice but to reduce our contact time (we currently have her every other weekend) it's nothing to do with the baby but my DH starting a new job which will make it impossible for him to do the trip in a weekend. I understand what you mean about the residency issue - I sometimes think life would be so much easier for everyone if she was with us full time. My SD told CAFCASS she wanted to live with us but her mother saw the report before court and blackmailed her into changing her mind. The vindictive witch told her that she would only see her every 3 months if she came to live with us and promised her all manner of things if she changed her statement. Unfortunately, at 11 she was persuaded by the promise of new clothes, holidays etc and changed her mind at the last minute. I'm sorry I can't offer more advice but I do understand how difficult it is so if you ever need to talk I'm here.

I'm just going to read Amy's story and I'll be back in a bit as they are leaving to go back to Swansea at 1pm.

p.s Sarah I'm glad they got to the bottom of the blood sugar situation. I've been eating lots of Jacket Potatoes and it's helped me. Sometimes I have a small bowl of cereal for a snack which sounds a bit mad but does the trick. Shreddies are good for sorting it out I find.

 

[babythinkpink]

Hi All,

Feeling slightly better, had half a chicken sandwich, and walked about a bit, oh and spend a bit longer in bed! The thing about having lots of children is one is sure to baby sit while I feel ill in bed!
(Needless to say dh is a bit useless but hey ho, i married him!!)

Louise, you are in a difficult situation as soon as you mention step children tbh, however you treat them that step thing is bound to cause a difference somewhere along the line.
I have a stepson, and i spoil him rotten, when he comes i make sure there is everything in the house he likes to eat, and this means extra shopping trips and fussy food, I always cook a different meal for him, which i would never do for my own if at least one other of them was eating it. And although dh has never dared suggest i care any less for his son, it is only because i spoil him rotten!
There are other things you can do, that are less of a huge expense than an xbox, and something tells me the xbox may be more for dh than the boys!!
You can get something for the boys from baby when she arrives, and tell dh this is your intention, we will be bringing something small for ours when baby arrives purely because so much attention goes on a new baby, but then why shouldn't it? Its a new baby!!
I don't fancy the travelling at 9 months either, not sure what to suggest there?

Teeny, I am so looking forward to the holidays too, it marks the end of me driving 50 miles a day for good, the children go to another school in September so very exited about that.

I am being literally dragged out now, so will have to come back later to finish off my natter!

See you guys later xxxxxxxxx

 

[limpetsmum]

Hi everyone back from the hospital with good & worrying news The good news is my kidneys are both fine, a little scarring on one fromt he nephritis last year & the right one was swollen & slower to empty (which apparently happens to 90% of women during pregnancy anyway). The not so good news is they are concerned my back pain, being as severe as it is could be a warning of premature labour. They sat me down with a doctor & a midwife & we all had a relaxed chat about the symptoms i need to look out for & what i should & shouldn't do over the next few days & weeks & at which point i would need to contact them. They are going to review me next week in clinic too.
I'm not overly concerned, i just feel deep down that bubba is ok & not coming yet! I know that might sound weird but there you go. I'm taking the rest of the week off & i'll hopefully go back on monday in the hopes that the pain has settled down enough to concentrate.

Anywho - i feel a little better today, pain is under control with the co-codamol. They told me to keep active but take it easy so i'm off to wander around my local shopping centre for an hour or so - if i stay in i know i'll be tempted to clean the house or try to do gardening.........i think walking is a much easier option

Louise & MrsJ08 sounds like your both having troubling times at home, hope they settle soon for you ladies xxx

Thanks again for the support ladies, you really are all stars xxx

 

[SisterRose]

Limpets - Really hope they're wrong and it's not a sign of pre term! if so, hope baby stays in there as long as he/she can

 

[limpetsmum]

Limpets - Really hope they're wrong and it's not a sign of pre term! if so, hope baby stays in there as long as he/she can

Me too hun, me too! I do feel absolutely fine & none of the other signs they told me to look out for just a bloody painful back! Oh & occasional nausea which better not rear it's ugly head around these parts again so soon

 

[Fish&Chips]

Happy V Day Laura!

Babythinkpink hope you feel better soon.

Asher, will you still see Auntie Wendy socially? I can imagine it's pretty upsetting.

Sorry to hear about the arguement with dh. Maybe it's more him feeling left out than the boys? My dh has bought and spends all his time on a new game but it's his little treat before the LO arrives. A bit cheaper than an Xbox though!! I'm not sure the whole summer hols thing is a good idea. Can you not just do some of it? It's very unreasonable to expect you to do it when it's right up to your due date.

Mrs J, sorry you didn't get a reply re your post. I guess that's just our pregnancy brains! Hope it's all sorted now. xx

Limpetsmum, that's good that your kidneys are ok. Did the Dr's mention you taking time off work at all? I would imagine that this could affect when you want to take your maternity leave?

 

[Snoozie]

Lipmets, phew! Tell that baby to stay put! xxxxx

Louise & MrsJ08, I'm not in your situ but you are both incredibly strong to be coping so well with everything. Louise, a big round trip at full term sounds like a nightmare. I hope there's a simple solution.xxx

Babythinkpink, I hope you are well soon. I was so ill last week, it's nice to come out the otherside.xxxx

Laura, viability yay!!! 2 more days for me lol.

Just a flying visit, baby is super wriggly today and dh felt the kicking. 3 kids at home (halfterm) so it' a mad house lol.

 

[opticalillus5]

hey ladies!

The weather here is GORGEOUS today, so going to make the most of it in a bit by sitting outside - it's such a shame laptops aren't great in the sun - I can never see the screen!

Babythinkpink - glad you're feeling a little better - Fx you can keep your chicken sarnie down!

Limpets - really glad your kidneys are ok, but Fx little one stays put! I think there's a lot to be said for mother's intuition though (even though I had no idea my little girl was coming when she did!). Maybe i'm just not intuitive? lol.

Louise - sorry about your argument over the xbox... my OH has been wanting a PS3 for A-G-E-S now, but we just can't justify spending the money on it - especially seeing as I bought my pram second-hand, and got a cheap cot. Plus, the last thing you want is an OH that's glued to the tv when LO arrives - when will he have time to play it in a few months?

As for step-children, I'm on the other side of the situation. My daughter (who is 4 1/2) last week said that she wanted to go and live with her dad, and it broke my heart. Turns out that she found out her half-brother has been staying at his during the week (which she can't do as we live too far away for him to get her to school) and she got jealous. The entire story is posted in the kids section... I was distraught, but thankfully now she's forgotten all about it and is really happy at home again - I don't think at 4 she understood the implications of what she was saying anyway. I must say Louise, what kind of mother would let her children spend ALL the holidays with their dad? It's great that you're getting to spend time with them, but it'd tear me up if I didn't see my DD for six weeks... It kinda backs up your point about her not being very bothered about them. Hope things get easier for you, and MrsJ08 - it's so difficult isn't it.

I've been to see the midwife today for my 25 wk appointment, and I can happily say that everything is looking good! Bubs' heart was pounding away REALLY loudly, and i'm measuring well for my dates too. I got my HIP grant form which i'm sending off now, and will have my 4 childbirth prep classes in July. Hopefully they'll help me to stop worrying as much!

This weekend, we're making a start on painting the living room / hall, and the next thing after that is the nursery! We could do the nursery next, but i'm gonna leave it just a few more weeks (just to be sure). I've got basically everything I need now, just gotta get a chest of drawers and the essential clothes!

I still have to play pushchair tetris with my car...

Righty, I'm off to bake a cake with LO. Plus, I promised that we'd paint our own my little ponies this aft!
xXx

 

[Louise3512uk]

Thanks for the advice ladies, I hear what you are saying about the summer holidays! The boys' mother told DH she needed him to have them as she has to work... now I'm not being bitchy but she only works 3 hours, 4 days a week.... but for the last year or so we have had them every single school holiday from start to finish, and we do love having them here... dh did ask me if I thought it was manageable, and apart from the first week or so of the hols he is also on leave, so at least I won't be having them on my own! Plus, apparently his friend has offered to return them to their mother for us so we don't have to do the trip, so that's good... if baby comes early my mum can be around to look after them....

To be perfectly honest, I know it will be tiring but their mum has said they are having nothing to do with me or the baby once Wayne is in Afghan, she hates me anyway and has told them the baby is nothing to do with them, I just hope that she either changes her mind and lets me see them when he's gone, if only a couple of times, otherwise they might start to believe her It will be good to have some quality time with them because we might go 6 months before I see them again! She is a major piece of work, only denies us residency because she'll be skint (in her own words).

Anyway, sorry, just gone on again!!

Ladies, how do you feel about clubbing together and getting some flowers for Amy? Me and Becs have had a chat about it, she's at the front of all our minds I think and it would be a nice gesture from the September Stars.. I would be happy to organise? ANy thoughts?

 

[Louise3512uk]

By the way..... pregnancy brain....

MrsJ08, I don't recall seeing a post about your situation before otherwise I would definately have replied! I can't believe your situation is so similar to ours, although my stepsons are only 5 and 7, they are blackmailed into saying alsorts of things to the cafcass officer! About 3 years ago we had a phone call from the 7 year old, then 4, at about 11pm at night.... we could hear her in the background saying 'go on, say it'... and then he said 'we don't love you anymore Daddy, we don't want to see you again'... it's so heartbreaking.... he understands a lot more now though, and takes most of what she says with a pinch of salt! She wants them to stay with her for the money she gets, literally... it's so sad

 

[drea2904]

Hey all, Im just back from the safari park with dh & ds, shattered but really pleased I managed a full day out with my boys, i feel ive been a bit of a recluse lately with feeling sick, low and tired so much so glad we had a lovely day.

Limpetsmum, so glad your kidneys are ok, Ive suffered with my kidneys in the past, in and out of hosp and its awful, littleone you just stay where you are maybe move a bit to stop the pain lol!! Rest and Relaxation for you now.

babythinkpink, for you hope you are feeling better soon, we are all having a few bad days.

Louise & Mrs J I dont have any step kids, but to me it sound like you guys are fantastic step parents

Happy V day and third tri days for all today!!!

Louise i had also thought that about doing something for Amy, glad you mentioned it. Im defo in anyways, should we open a wee group or just get people to send pms to a star?

Sorry if i forgot anyone, head wasted after all the lions and tigers and bears lol.xx

 

[Dolly.]

Hi ladies Hope you are all well
Getting excited for my holiday next week
Been feeling like bubs is quite close to my ribs already, they ached a bit this morning is that normal at this stage???

 

[MrsJ08]

Louise - the way I look at it is that we will be great Mum's because we have seen things from a very different perspective.

My DH was only with his ex for a little over a month when she fell pregnant, he didn't love her but stuck it out for the sake of his daughter and his ex's 2 daughters from a previous relationship. When my SD was 9 months old my DH decided to leave because the situation had become so hostile it was beginning to effect the kids. I met my DH when SD was just 7 and for the first two years or so things were pretty good. We would have problems, i.e SD wouldn't be there when we went to pick her up, DH would get occasional abuse, SD would be handed over on a Saturday morning in her school uniform etc. Then the ex found out we were getting married at all hell broke loose. Bearing in mind they were only together just over a year and when she found out about our wedding they had been split up for 9 YEARS! we couldn't get our heads around it. By that time we had moved to London and the messing about over contact started to happen. It costs us approx £300 a month in fuel or train tickets to have SD every other weekend and in order to afford it on some occasions we have had to literally eat beans on toast for a week and hold off paying essential bills. You can imagine how upset my DH has been to drive from London to Swansea only to find no SD when he arrives. Then at the beginning of last year the ex met the psycho boyfriend from hell, he's 20 years older than her and has a criminal record for violence as well as a history of domestic violence. Consequently, SD's two older sisters (now 15 & 16) left home and social services got involved because the psycho boyfriend dragged the 15 year old upstairs by her hair. Suffice to say that both ex and boyfriend are heavy drinkers and ex also has a history of drug abuse (mostly spliffs and cocaine). We started court proceedings immediately as SD said she wanted to live with us, it went on and on and on and the last time she was interviewed by CAFCASS (Dec 09) she was persuaded to change her mind. The social services report on the family is about 2 inches thick - we have a copy. The eldest of my SD's sisters has a baby and lives with her boyfriend, the other one was persuaded to go home (again because they promised her material things and a holiday). In the social services report my SD repeatedly says she wants to live with us and wishes I was her Mum. When the ex read that she went absolutely bananas as you can imagine. Honestly, what does she expect? Any woman who calls her own child a c**t should be locked up as far as I'm concerned. At the moment things have stabilised a little but her mad mother (despite now being estranged from her entire family including her 5 sisters) is going to marry the psycho boyfriend. We wouldn't agree to her mother having residency at the last court hearing and my DH has parental responsibility but our ability to effect the situation is minimal. I can't tell you how many £000's we have spent on court costs but the bottom line is her mother frequently breaks the court order but the court won't do anything about it. The truth is they very, very rarely throw Mum's that break the court order in jail or even give them fine's or community service. I have got a lot of time for "Fathers for Justice" because having experienced the system I know how dangerously bias it is towards the mother however vindictive she may be. I think it's fair to say that my SD's mother NEVER has her best interests at heart.

Not surprisingly SD's behaviour has been very difficult in the past few months and has involved a lot of very immature tantrums. We do our best and it's hard for DH because the last thing he wants to do when she is here is tell her off but to say she is testing her boundaries is an understatement. We think it will go one way or the other after her mother's wedding, either things will calm down or the psycho boyfriend will kick off even more. Several times he has sent my DH text messages (despite the court order prohibiting contact) saying things like "I'm out with my daughter" (meaning my SD) just to wind my DH up. It's hard sometimes but I had a very difficult time with my step-mother and still do, so I always try to do the best by my SD. My own SD treated me appallingly as a child and still makes incessantly bitchy comments now if she thinks she can get away with it. I don't know how things will change when the baby comes. I know that I will feel differently about my own child, although I love my SD very much it's the same kind of love I have for my cousins or my niece and nephew. However, I will be trying with every bone in my body not to show favouritism. Incidentally her mother was sterilised and is currently talking about having it reversed so that she can have a baby with the psycho. I don't think the NHS will pay for it and even if she has it the chances of her conceiving are remote but do you know what, it's sod's law that a bitch like that who doesn't deserve children will! Sorry to go on, but I thought it might help Louise and other people in similar situation's to hear our story.

The irony is that because of my own childhood experience's I swore I would never get involved with someone who had a child. The problem is you can't help who you fall in love with, but believe me there have been times I've wanted to run not walk in the opposite direction with the constant stress of it all.
x

 

[apaton]

ahhhh too many posts , congrats on viables

Louise im up for the flowers idea

Drea was that blair drummond you went to ? i love it lol x

 

[becs0375]

Louise and Mrs JO8, what a tough situation to be in, why are your step kids Mum's such cowbags and manipulators. Can they not see what harm its doing to the kids??! Some people were never meant to be parents.

Limpet, glad all went well at your appointment xxx

Hope's nursery furniture arrived today, Ian is now putting it up!!!!! I don't know why tbh as we move so close after she is born but figured it would be one less job to do once we move lol!! I also got my mattress today for her cot, so all I need is the bedding!!

 

[Fish&Chips]

Oooh where are you going want2beamummy? I'm off to Menorca next week! Whoo hoo! Our first holiday in a year with our last one being our honeymoon.

Louise and Mrs J, I can't believe what your step-kids mums are like. It's so sad to just use kids for money and to get 'one up' so to speak.

Louise, as per my pm, I'd love to contribute to getting Amy something. xx

 

[Ice Cold Cube]

Hi there

Could my date be changed to 16 Sep please? I was brought forward at my last scan.

Laura x