September Stars

[Teeny Weeny]

It was bad news. There was growth but not enough. She said the baby has died. At the moment the bleeding has stopped so I am going to wait naturally for the miscarriage. If it doesn't happen in 2 weeks I'll have to have a D&C.
I am naturally devastated but I have decided on nature taking it's course on thinking about it. At the moment my body hasn't reallsed so I am hoping it is kind and let goes soon.
Thank you for the support ladies. Xx

 

[Jellycat]

I'm sorry to hear this Teeny , hopefully it will pass naturally for you. Hope you are getting some tlc at home xx

 

[Louise3512uk]

Oh teeny I'm so sorry to hear this, after so long trying that's just so unfair. If you need to chat you know where I am, I suffered an early loss too before Lilia. I hope nature is now being kind to you xxx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Thank you Louise. My body has not realised yet! I am just waiting now for my confirmatory scan so that we can book the D&C. I hope I start to feel better once its all over and we can move on.
how did your loss change you? I am now super paranoid of falling pregnant again. Xx

 

[Louise3512uk]

I was paranoid and it was really hard until I got past the point of when I lost the baby, it was around 6 weeks though so at least I was past it fairly quickly. It's natural to worry though especially if you have to wait until 12 weeks for a scan especially if your body hasn't realised but you can have private scans and use a Doppler (I have one I can send you if and when you would like one). The way I look at it now is that it must have happened for a reason and I wouldn't have Lilia if that pregnancy had continued. I hope it helps a bit but please do text or message me if you want to chat xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Had worse news if that is possible! The sac is infact smaller than last week but my little bean has a heartbeat.
The pregnancy is 100% not viable and there is blood visible around the sac but I have to wait for the heart to stop for a D&C. It's booked for a week today. She said I may miscarry naturally but that scares the crap out of me. How will I cope with all the kids home for Easter holidays and having a miscarriage?
I hope that I don't miscarry naturally now ( how my mind has changed the last week or so) so that I can just go in and be quite sure that it's all over.
Thank you for the support honey. I hope to TTC again soon after and hopefully it will all work out. I know it wasn't meant to be but it's bloody hard. xx

 

[Louise3512uk]

Oh honey, I don't know what to say are they 100% it's not viable? I don't understand why there would still be a heartbeat. Bless you, I hate that you're going through this. Xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

The sonographer last week wrote in my notes 'embryonic demise' meaning it was dead. She was wrong obviously. But the sac is getting smaller, the embryo isn't growing and there is a SCH. The heart will probably stop in a day or two. I have been walking around for 5 days thinking I was carrying a dead baby inside, not it seems that I am just waiting for baby to die. A horrible roller coaster of emotions and I just want it all over. Xx

 

[Louise3512uk]

It seems worse this way. Bless you, I can't imagine how you feel. I hope things are resolved quickly and painlessly for you. I don't know if it's what you want to hear or not and I apologise if not, but I fell pregnant very quickly after my loss, apparently you're very fertile afterwards so fingers crossed you get your happy ending soon xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Thank you Louise. I am so glad a few of us still post here so that I can still tell you of my troubles. It's not something I am ready to share with all in FB. I will keep you updated on what is happening.
I hope it doesn't take as long next time. Obviously with a few factors of secondary infertility I worry if won't happen again. And I feel like I'm getting too old etc. all normal worries I'm sure. I hope and pray that there is a next pregnancy and all turns out okay.
Take care of yourself and baby boy. Thank you so much for the kind words and support, it really does mean a lot to me. Xxx

 

[Jellycat]

Oh Teeny - can't imagine how you must be feeling hope everything happens quickly for you now to then be able to grieve.

Try to not worry now about falling pregnant and having difficulties as pcos is such an unpredictable illness.

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Just to met you ladies know that a natural miscarriage has started today.
I hope it is all over quickly and I can move on. I am scared and feel quite lonely. Xx

 

[Jellycat]

Big hugs teeny xxx

 

[Louise3512uk]

Oh teeny, I know it's hard but it's good your body has recognised it and is dealing with it. Hugs. I would offer to come to you for a chat but the girls are a whirlwind!

 

[Teeny Weeny]

It picked up today but keeps stopping and starting. I would rather have the D&C so if it's not all done by Wednesday I will still have the procedure.
I have had the worst morning! Blood started up again, Chance was sick and I had to take Roxy to the vets for her operation today. The first day of Easter holidays and all this happens. Give me strength!
I'll be just fine Louise. It's the waiting that is the hardest part. And thank you for the kind offer of a visit. Xx

 

[Louise3512uk]

How you feeling today Tina? Xx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Strangely calm about it all. Perhaps because I have the dog to look after and Chance who is poorly I haven't really given myself a 2nd thought! I actually feel happier today. Probably my raging hormones but I won't knock it for ghe minute. Xx
How are you? Are the boys being a help to you over the holidays? I love the holidays but boy are they stressful! Xx

 

[Louise3512uk]

I wouldn't say they're being a help but not particularly a hindrance if you know what I mean! It's lovely having Nathan here but boy I had forgotten how much hard work he is, I have to clean up more after him than I do any of the girls! I think I expect him to be able to do everything Alex does but I asked him to get a shower the other day and he came out with shampoo still dribbling out of his hair so I had to send him back in, he later admitted he never washes his hair and his mum does it for him, seems a bit old for that to me, well he has been doing it himself here for ages but I suppose 2 1/2 months of no contact he must have bot done it that whole time?! Maybe it's just because Alex is so independent and though annoying at times he's generally pretty trustworthy, Nathan is young for his age and you can't just ask him to do something as he just doesn't ever seem to get it!

But it's all minor stuff, I'm trying very hard to be patient and not irritable with any of the children but it's hard as I'm in pain and my mobility is rubbish so can't do loads and it makes me cranky!

Glad you're feeling more positive today, long may it continue! How's pup doing?

 

[Teeny Weeny]

It's so horrible you suffer with pregnancy and pain. I really do hope that your physio tomorrow helps a little bit. I can't even imagine looking after 4 children and having problems with mobility. Honestly, you are super mum!
Nathan sounds a bit like Chance, sometimes I wonder how he doesn't comprehend the simplest of things!

Puppy is okay. The operation is very invasive so the poor girl is on lots of tablets. I have to keep her away from Teddy for 6 weeks which is going to be a nightmare. She cannot jump, go up or down stairs etc. so I have to carry her out to go to the toilet whilst shutting Ted in the kitchen. Already stressful and its only day one!
Constantly telling the children to close the stair gate so that Ted can't go up and Roxy can't come down... I swear all the children have wanted to do today is run up and down the stairs! Lol
I'll let you know how I get on tomorrow. Thank you for the chat on here, I really do appreciate a familiar friend to talk to. Xxx

 

[Teeny Weeny]

Hi lovelies, I had my scan yesterday and baby had died. The bleeding was from the SCH and had not actually started the miscarriage process. I was diagnosed with a MMC and had the operation yesterday. It went well and I am okay. I just need time for my heart to heal. xx