*~*~*September Sweetpeas 2013 - 120 preggos - 21 Babies Born So Far*~*~*

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Really irritated right now with my MIL. Love her to death and she would do anything for us, but right now she's sort of stepping on my mother's toes about the nursery furniture set my mom was going to gift us, and is trying to "out-do" her, and I'm really quite bothered by it. I've already picked out the set I want and my mom was going to take care of most of the cost, and MIL is taking DH to lunch today and i KNOW she is going to try to take him crib shopping to convince him to let her buy a different set instead. Ughh I'll write more about it in my preggie journal so I don't bombard this thread with 1,000 words, feel free to read on there if you wish, I'll stop for now on here.
 
kaili said:
Really irritated right now with my MIL. Love her to death and she would do anything for us, but right now she's sort of stepping on my mother's toes about the nursery furniture set my mom was going to gift us, and is trying to "out-do" her, and I'm really quite bothered by it. I've already picked out the set I want and my mom was going to take care of most of the cost, and MIL is taking DH to lunch today and i KNOW she is going to try to take him crib shopping to convince him to let her buy a different set instead. Ughh I'll write more about it in my preggie journal so I don't bombard this thread with 1,000 words, feel free to read on there if you wish, I'll stop for now on here.
Click to expand...

That is definitely annoying. I understand her wanting to be involved and feel significant to you both during this process, but sometimes people overstep their boundaries. My MIL wanted to do this with our wedding china; we picked a kind out (one even my husband liked!), people bought us many sets, and then she tried to convince us to switch types b/c she found this set that *she* liked and was a 'good deal' in her mind. I am like-"buy what the couple wants..it is NOT about you!?!". :/ Hopefully your DH can convince her to contribute to another major purchase. Hang in there!!!
 
gatorj said:
kaili said:
Really irritated right now with my MIL. Love her to death and she would do anything for us, but right now she's sort of stepping on my mother's toes about the nursery furniture set my mom was going to gift us, and is trying to "out-do" her, and I'm really quite bothered by it. I've already picked out the set I want and my mom was going to take care of most of the cost, and MIL is taking DH to lunch today and i KNOW she is going to try to take him crib shopping to convince him to let her buy a different set instead. Ughh I'll write more about it in my preggie journal so I don't bombard this thread with 1,000 words, feel free to read on there if you wish, I'll stop for now on here.
Click to expand...

That is definitely annoying. I understand her wanting to be involved and feel significant to you both during this process, but sometimes people overstep their boundaries. My MIL wanted to do this with our wedding china; we picked a kind out (one even my husband liked!), people bought us many sets, and then she tried to convince us to switch types b/c she found this set that *she* liked and was a 'good deal' in her mind. I am like-"buy what the couple wants..it is NOT about you!?!". :/ Hopefully your DH can convince her to contribute to another major purchase. Hang in there!!!
Click to expand...

yes! its exactly the same feeling!! and truth be told, if it were up to me i'd just let my MIL get us the set she wants to get us just to avoid a conflict, because my mom is a hot-headed person, and I know as sure as my name is Kaity that as soon as my mom finds out what has happened if we let his mom buy the furniture, she's going to cause a scene and get all offended.

I really do appreciate that my MIL wants to buy us the set, its just that she doesn't always comprehend the circumstances that it creates when she does these kinds of things. Same thing happened at our wedding, my husband is an only child, so she doesn't have a daughter, and she wanted to go dress shopping with me, and help pick out linens, and do all the planning, but I'm my mother's first daughter, and my mom wanted the whole "alone time mother daughter bonding experience" part of it, so i was put in a position where I had to tell my MIL that she couldn't come with us, and for me it was really awkward. As I said I really do love her to death and I really do appreciate everything she's ever done for us, but I don't always enjoy the stress that comes along with the family aspect of it. Partly my mom's fault as she's got a short temper, and I'm more inclined to concede as a loss for myself to satisfy the two of them.

Looks like in this situation, the solution is going to be to LIE to my MIL and tell her my mom paid for it herself (and then give the 500 in secret) or convince my mom to pay for ALL of it... I'm not one to ASK for assistance, so the lying option seems a better route to me. I'm not a liar but in cases like this sometimes it makes things simpler.
 
kaili said:
gatorj said:
kaili said:
Really irritated right now with my MIL. Love her to death and she would do anything for us, but right now she's sort of stepping on my mother's toes about the nursery furniture set my mom was going to gift us, and is trying to "out-do" her, and I'm really quite bothered by it. I've already picked out the set I want and my mom was going to take care of most of the cost, and MIL is taking DH to lunch today and i KNOW she is going to try to take him crib shopping to convince him to let her buy a different set instead. Ughh I'll write more about it in my preggie journal so I don't bombard this thread with 1,000 words, feel free to read on there if you wish, I'll stop for now on here.
Click to expand...

That is definitely annoying. I understand her wanting to be involved and feel significant to you both during this process, but sometimes people overstep their boundaries. My MIL wanted to do this with our wedding china; we picked a kind out (one even my husband liked!), people bought us many sets, and then she tried to convince us to switch types b/c she found this set that *she* liked and was a 'good deal' in her mind. I am like-"buy what the couple wants..it is NOT about you!?!". :/ Hopefully your DH can convince her to contribute to another major purchase. Hang in there!!!
Click to expand...

yes! its exactly the same feeling!! and truth be told, if it were up to me i'd just let my MIL get us the set she wants to get us just to avoid a conflict, because my mom is a hot-headed person, and I know as sure as my name is Kaity that as soon as my mom finds out what has happened if we let his mom buy the furniture, she's going to cause a scene and get all offended.

I really do appreciate that my MIL wants to buy us the set, its just that she doesn't always comprehend the circumstances that it creates when she does these kinds of things. Same thing happened at our wedding, my husband is an only child, so she doesn't have a daughter, and she wanted to go dress shopping with me, and help pick out linens, and do all the planning, but I'm my mother's first daughter, and my mom wanted the whole "alone time mother daughter bonding experience" part of it, so i was put in a position where I had to tell my MIL that she couldn't come with us, and for me it was really awkward. As I said I really do love her to death and I really do appreciate everything she's ever done for us, but I don't always enjoy the stress that comes along with the family aspect of it. Partly my mom's fault as she's got a short temper, and I'm more inclined to concede as a loss for myself to satisfy the two of them.

Looks like in this situation, the solution is going to be to LIE to my MIL and tell her my mom paid for it herself (and then give the 500 in secret) or convince my mom to pay for ALL of it... I'm not one to ASK for assistance, so the lying option seems a better route to me. I'm not a liar but in cases like this sometimes it makes things simpler.
Click to expand...

I totally hear you. I am like you, I would just lie to avoid the issue and I always try to placate both sides. It is very annoying, and stressful. Right now too, your emotions are all over, so you are bound to be more upset/stressed etc. There are PLENTY of big ticket items needed for the baby, so I feel that she can contribute in other ways (e.g. stroller??). It is tough though, if she has no daughters, I can see her wanting to fill that void. In my situation, my husband is my MIL's FAV, so when we got married it was like she was trying to "know" him more than me? Ugh. I am happy they live far away as I think she would be constantly buying things that she thinks "he needs", or that the "baby needs"!?!
 
yep, my own mother is 1.5 hours away, while my MIL is literally 5 minutes down the road.

i heard my husband upstairs shouting in Chinese and went upstairs to see what was going on, he was yelling at his mom who had apparently called to say the crib we want SUCKS... she's doing the thing she does now where she gets an idea in her head and she won't quit til she gets what she wants and is irrationally rationalizing... let me just show yall:
https://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/larkin-4-in-1-crib/?pkey=bcribs
https://ab.pkimgs.com/pkimgs/ab/images/dp/wcm/201310/0009/img4o.jpg
thats the crib I want. Her rationale is currently: ITS UGLY, IT LOOKS CHEAP, THE BABY WILL HURT HIMSELF ON THE SHARP EDGES.

first of all, its not ugly, second of all, its expensive AND made out of solid wood (unlike the one she wants to buy that is made out of man-made plywood), and thirdly, if the baby will hurt himself on the sharp edges, I might as well just keep him in a cage, because wall edges and bookshelves and things that are already in my house are going to be DETRIMENTAL.
 
kaili said:
yep, my own mother is 1.5 hours away, while my MIL is literally 5 minutes down the road.

i heard my husband upstairs shouting in Chinese and went upstairs to see what was going on, he was yelling at his mom who had apparently called to say the crib we want SUCKS... she's doing the thing she does now where she gets an idea in her head and she won't quit til she gets what she wants and is irrationally rationalizing... let me just show yall:
https://www.potterybarnkids.com/products/larkin-4-in-1-crib/?pkey=bcribs
https://ab.pkimgs.com/pkimgs/ab/images/dp/wcm/201310/0009/img4o.jpg
thats the crib I want. Her rationale is currently: ITS UGLY, IT LOOKS CHEAP, THE BABY WILL HURT HIMSELF ON THE SHARP EDGES.

first of all, its not ugly, second of all, its expensive AND made out of solid wood (unlike the one she wants to buy that is made out of man-made plywood), and thirdly, if the baby will hurt himself on the sharp edges, I might as well just keep him in a cage, because wall edges and bookshelves and things that are already in my house are going to be DETRIMENTAL.
Click to expand...

OMG! It is adorable! I am sure it is well made, as most pottery barn kids stuff is!?!? She is just being irrational now..and controlling. Sigh! It is between you and your DH...she needs to leave it alone. <Hugs>
 
Oh dear! I like that crib! Looks sturdy a d built to last. It's your decision at the end of the day!
 
My MIL is driving me crazy too. She wants to be 'more involved', but I have no idea what she means by that. I mean she wants to know about my doctors appointments and she's always asking me questions. I bought a glider rocker off the local classifieds and she freaked out saying that her mom had a rocking chair that she was going to give us....yeah wish I'd known that! (turns out the rocker is so low to the floor that I wouldn't want to use it anyways). She wants to know our short list of names too! DH is feeding into it too and it's driving me crazy. I'm SO SICK of trying to make this woman happy. She needs a huge reality check and a grow up.

This is the crib we bought.

https://www.toysrus.ca/product/largerImage.jsp?productId=11985919&largeImageURL=https%3a%2f%2fTRUSCA.imageg.net%2fgraphics%2fproduct_images%2fpTRUCA1-11077618dt.jpg&imageIndex=0
 
Bah. I hate being sick! Typically I just load myself up on medication but can't do that now. This cold is relentless. Can't. Stop. Coughing. :(
 
AnakeRose said:
My MIL is driving me crazy too. She wants to be 'more involved', but I have no idea what she means by that. I mean she wants to know about my doctors appointments and she's always asking me questions. I bought a glider rocker off the local classifieds and she freaked out saying that her mom had a rocking chair that she was going to give us....yeah wish I'd known that! (turns out the rocker is so low to the floor that I wouldn't want to use it anyways). She wants to know our short list of names too! DH is feeding into it too and it's driving me crazy. I'm SO SICK of trying to make this woman happy. She needs a huge reality check and a grow up.

This is the crib we bought.

https://www.toysrus.ca/product/largerImage.jsp?productId=11985919&largeImageURL=https%3a%2f%2fTRUSCA.imageg.net%2fgraphics%2fproduct_images%2fpTRUCA1-11077618dt.jpg&imageIndex=0
Click to expand...

I am certain my MIL will get us something we don't need or have room for..but she will deem important or a "find". Ag!

For some reason the link doesn't fully open?
 
Kiss08 said:
Bah. I hate being sick! Typically I just load myself up on medication but can't do that now. This cold is relentless. Can't. Stop. Coughing. :(
Click to expand...

So sorry!! Hope you feel better soon :hugs:
 
kaili said:
Really irritated right now with my MIL. Love her to death and she would do anything for us, but right now she's sort of stepping on my mother's toes about the nursery furniture set my mom was going to gift us, and is trying to "out-do" her, and I'm really quite bothered by it. I've already picked out the set I want and my mom was going to take care of most of the cost, and MIL is taking DH to lunch today and i KNOW she is going to try to take him crib shopping to convince him to let her buy a different set instead. Ughh I'll write more about it in my preggie journal so I don't bombard this thread with 1,000 words, feel free to read on there if you wish, I'll stop for now on here.
Click to expand...

AnakeRose said:
My MIL is driving me crazy too. She wants to be 'more involved', but I have no idea what she means by that. I mean she wants to know about my doctors appointments and she's always asking me questions. I bought a glider rocker off the local classifieds and she freaked out saying that her mom had a rocking chair that she was going to give us....yeah wish I'd known that! (turns out the rocker is so low to the floor that I wouldn't want to use it anyways). She wants to know our short list of names too! DH is feeding into it too and it's driving me crazy. I'm SO SICK of trying to make this woman happy. She needs a huge reality check and a grow up.
Click to expand...
Y'all are making me glad that I haven't told my FIL and MIL that I'm pregnant yet!

I could kill my husband. He knows that I'm angry at his parents and do NOT want to talk to them on the phone, that if they call and ask to speak with me, he is to make an excuse. Yesterday afternoon they called (because it's Easter) and he wanders into my room and says, "Honey, do you want to talk to my parents?" Of course they're on speaker phone and can hear my reply. I mouthed to him "NO!" but he still gives me a look and extends the phone to me. So I got stuck talking to them on the phone for 15-20 minutes.

So irritated with DH. Do your freakin' husbandly duty and keep them away from me! I don't make him talk to anyone from MY side of the family when he doesn't want to. Gods.
 
How is everyone :flower:

The twins and I are great. The parents are still thrilled and are planning the trip out to the 20 week u/s (which reminds me-- I need to schedule that today :) )

I'll post a bump pic lately. It's actually shrunk a bit this past week, I think all the bloating is gone and now it's just babies.
 
proserpina- glad were not the only ones who havent told the inlaws! litterally every one else knows- all my family,all our friends, his work n friends but by my partners choice he hasnt told any of his family yet! me n his mum hate each other and havent spoken in years (because she was horrible to me about my 1st preg n when dd was born) she's also very mentally unstable n hes worried how she'll react n have another break down. pathetic really but no skin off my nose :haha:


so funny to hear how many ppl r craving beer, me tooo!!! i dont drink it usually, but rly want some now.

phantom- glad to hear your all doing well
 
Hello all hope you're all
Okay? All this MIL talk is making me smile as I'm feeling the same at the moment.. It's good to have you all to talk to :) my MIL can't understand why I want to buy a brand new pram set.. She thinks I should get a seccond hand one!! I know things are tight at the moment but this is my
First baby!!! Arghhh lol xx
 
Oh proserpina I think I'd chop my husband's nuts off if he tried that shit with me :rofl:
 
Wow its been a while since I've been on here!

Just wondering my sis is 40 weeks and 4 days pregnant we think labor has started as contractions are faint but coming about 5 mins apart the concern is she hasn't felt baby mmove for over 5 hrs. Is this a bad thing?
 
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