SIL told me I need to spank my children!!

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by mammag, Apr 12, 2009.

  1. mammag

    mammag Expecting a Rainbow

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    I'm so angry. I just left my sister and brother in-laws house before easter was over, because my 1 yr old (21 months) was into something and when he didn't stop the moment i told him to she says, "someone is going to get a spanking" mad, because this is not the first time she has said something like this, i say, " too bad I don't spank my kids" and she has the GULL to say, "well, you NEED to, if you ever want them to listen" I'm so angry, not to mention that she is only 19 and has NO children or experience with them. I just left, and my husband wants me to ask her if someone should hit her every time she doesn't listen. and that's how i feel, just because i'm bigger than them doesn't mean that i need to hit them. ever. and even if i did, it is NOT her place to ever tell me how i should raise my kids. i'd rather just not talk to any of them ever again
     
  2. Rachiebaby24

    Rachiebaby24 Well-Known Member

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    :hissy:

    tell her you dont need lessons on parenting your own kids.....oh and if she doesnt listen then she will get a taste of her own advice and get a smack!!!
     
  3. lozzy21

    lozzy21 Mummy to Niamh

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    Give her a slap and see how she likes it.
     
  4. mammag

    mammag Expecting a Rainbow

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    my thoughts exactly
     
  5. caggimedicine

    caggimedicine Mummy to Harry

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    People who don't have any kids of their own are always very good at telling you exactly how you should raise your children aren't they?! I've stopped even trying to justify my actions to people like that now.

    I've noticed that even some Health Visitors can be a little too over-opinionated. One tried telling me that the doctor I'd seen about Harry's rash was wrong and that I should medicate Harry more often! I didn't even bother arguing - I just got Harry and left!

    Bring your children up however YOU and OH see fit, and ignore everyone else. That's my way! Mummy and daddy always know best.
     
  6. Chel

    Chel Well-Known Member

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    I agree!

    If she bings it up again, no warning, just smack her!

    I think its absolute BS that if you hit another adult its assault, but you hit a child and it 'discipline.'
     
  7. PitBullMommy

    PitBullMommy Princess, FF & Angel Mom

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    LOL, I'd smack her too. Especially since it's ILLEGAL to spank your kids
     
  8. Chel

    Chel Well-Known Member

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    Is it really?

    Thts great!

    I hope its illegal in Australia... I'll investigate!

    That makes me so happy!


    *** nope... from what I could find on a quick google search, it appears to be legal here... but... I think quite frowned upon... ***
     
  9. helen1234

    helen1234 Well-Known Member

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    smacking just makes things worse, i hate smacking.....you dont need to hurt a child to get through to them removing the child into time out has loads more impact and confiscating stuff sorts out teens.
    i have grabbed rosie by the arm and given her the talk through my teeth thing esp in pblic but i've never proper smacked her and believe me she's tested me over the last 14yrs.
    alot of people will say 'i was smacked it never hurt me' but there are better and nicer ways to discipline.
    tell her to mind her own and stop banging on about it, tell her its a form of abuse so you wont be smacking.
    xx
     
  10. Tiff

    Tiff LIKE A BOSS

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    Even if she did have kids it still doesn't give her the right to try and impress her views of childrearing onto you. That's horrible that she'd think that. She doesn't babysit, does she? I'd be worried that she'd be giving them a smack while you wern't around... but I'm paranoid like that.

    I can't say that anyone who believes in smacking will be allowed to watch my daughter. Violence when we are adults doesn't solve anything, why should it solve something when they're children?
     
  11. mommyof3co

    mommyof3co Mommy of 4 amazing boys!

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    Ugh I hate people thatthink like that. It isn't illegal here but we dont' do it, I don't agree with it. I don't think it's effective for anyone...I'm sure people will disagree. But I don't think it sends the right message to kids. I think there is always an alternative, and it should be used. It doesn't teach them anything it just teaches them to be scared to do something. We don't spank and we get compliments ALL the time about how well behaved my 3 little boys are, you do not have to spank to get kids to listen..that's just crazy lol. Ok done haha

    I agree with the other girls I would just smack her too if she was my sister lol
     
  12. Shifter

    Shifter Guest

    I wouldn't even wait for her to mention it. Next time she shows signs of not listening tell her you're going to smack her and see how she responds!! If the smacking issue comes up first just smile sweetly and say in your most polite voice "I don't believe in abusing my children. But thanks for the suggestion."
     
  13. Charliemarina

    Charliemarina expecting #4

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    Hmmm this is defo a contrivertial subject which i think everyone has the right to there own opinion in as long as its for THERE kids no-one elses.
    now i was spanked as a child, not badly only when i done something really wrong, but then my mother also never had my father to be the dicapliarian (sp?) as he left when we all was small so she had to then become mum and dad, which now im alot older i totally understand i have 2 kids of my own....BUT i also felt angry when she spanked me as a child, sometimes i wanted to actually hit her back but i knew i couldnt she was my mum and i love her but it made me more angry keeping all this inside...SO
    now im a mother of 2 hoping to be 3 real soon as were TTC and i do not spank my kids for anything, the only thing i say i have done was when my son was aged 3 he went to put his hand into a candle flame as he didnt know, he was young but my instinct was to slap his hand away from it, which shocked him, probably stang a little but left NO marks on his hand whatsoever, now i did not intend on doing this its just i saw his hand near enough in the flame and i just wanted him not to get burnt but ever since that day my son has never tried to totch a candle since and he is nearly 8 now so i feel what i done was not bad at all and i have never ever spanked him for anything else in his life. (and he is really pushing me lately...lol)
    now also its very true that to hit another adult in the UK is illegal and u can actually be taken to court for this, now a few years back this did not stand with kids and parents which was disgusting, but since the law has been changed and it IS very illegal to spank ur child now thank god, because for anyone who does live in uk should remember and pray for little baby p, that this kind of abuse is not aceptable and the laws stand right that no-one has the right to hit another human being be it ur children or not....sorry it long just felt this subject needs all opinions really xxxox
     
  14. Charliemarina

    Charliemarina expecting #4

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    and to quote on ur sil, defo give her a slap when she does something u dnt like and tell her its the only way to get her to stop doing it, the cheek has she got kids herself? no i take it? xox
     
  15. emma_27

    emma_27 Well-Known Member

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    I dont like smacking it doesnt solve anything. Benn went to hit me the other day my nan told me to smack him! I was like hmmm im not going to say dont hit me then hit him! talk about mixed messages.
     

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