Sister made comment that has upset me.

[Feff]

My daughter turned back to back when I was pushing so I had to have an epidural and forcep delivery, I was gutted! I went to my friends house for a birthday get together and we were on about being in labour and pushing out a baby and she said 'and you couldn't even do that properly!' How I but my tongue I'll never know people say stupid stuff because they don't understand, just try your best to ignore it x

 

[kirst76]

What a bitchy thing to say!!
Hugs for you....some people dont know that little things that are said flippantly can really hurt!

 

[special_kala]

Well isnt she a knob!

Ive pushed two of my babies out and one csection, if shes trying to suggest a csection is easier then she is honestly a big old knob! Even a bog standard all go as planned csection is hard.


Im just as proud of Fox arrival earthside as the girls. I didnt give birth to him in the same way but i grew him and did my best by him and thats all that matters.

 

[sbl]

What a bitch!!!

 

[Becky61]

Wow!!

I had a similar experience after my emergancy c section. My "best" friend who has given birth to two children vaginally said i was really lucky and had had the easy option!

I replied with how i felt... That a 4 day labour, contractions upon contractions whilst bed bound due to lots of wires and a drip, nothing but gas and air (through choice), and an emergancy trip to a terrifying theatre with lots of people, not to mention a 6 week recovery (still didnt feel right months later), no car, (i didnt drive for the 1st 6 weeks), and the inability to even pick your newborn bundle up out of its cot to feed them for the 1st few days IS NOT an EASY option. I couldnt hold my tongue.

*rant over*

I spent weeks upon weeks winding myself up and crying at night that i hadnt had the natural birth experience i had hoped for, and didnt get to push my beautiful baby into the world. Gosh i wish i pushed him out. But 9 months later im kind of getting over it. We made and grew our babies, and gave birth to them (I always told people i hadnt given birth to him in the early days, just that i had "had" him etc, i thought i wasnt worthy of saying it).

If your anything like me, bottling it up will make you worse. Before you leave it too long, maybe have a quiet word with your sister about the physical and emotional things you need to over come after your op. It does good to get things out in the open.

I hope your getting lots of support. And everytime you look at LO, you will be reminded that his safe arrival is all the really matters.

X

 

[Nicolalove353]

That us really horrible to say that. After 26 hours of labor I ended up needing a c-section. It wasn't an emergency and I didn't have my bladder tear and my c-section was still traumatizing. I completely understand about mourning the birth. In my opinion, c-section ruins the bonding you normally get with a vaginal birth and is very upsetting to not be able to experience. What she said was extremely insensitive and if she
Has not had a c-section than she has no idea what you are going through. You would think she would notice how much pain you are in. I don't think you are wrong for being upset. You went through a lot and she is completely writing off what you went through.

 

[jd83]

Sounds like she is very jealous that you are getting so much help when she may have needed more than what she was offered. That definitely doesn't make a comment like that okay, though. Her feeling jealous is one thing, that's a normal human response really. But putting you down for the type of birth you had is taking her jealousy way too far. I wouldn't let it go, if I were you. I'd talk with her and let her know that the comment really bothered you, and it was absolutely not okay to say something like that. There isn't one way that's better than another to bring your child into the world; its whatever is deemed necessary at the time, and what matters is the end result.

 

[sg2011]

Wow...what a cruel comment! I don't understand this ridiculous competitiveness between women over how they gave birth...no one gets a medal for doing it "better". Also, my bond with my baby was not affected at all by my c-section although I'm sure it can be for others.

 

[Georgia7]

Thanks girls! I think I will say something to her, just about how much it bothered me. I didn't say anything at the time as I was fighting back tears.

Personally I think having the section did effect my bond with my baby. Because of the complications they didn't even show him to me. We didn't know if it was a boy or girl and I was so so looking forward to pushing him out and my OH telling me. But they eventually gave him to my OH all wrapped up in blankets, my Oh had to ask if he could unwrap him so he could see if it was a boy or girl then tell me. Not how id imagined it happening in my head! Xxx

 

[Here_we_go]

Thanks girls! I think I will say something to her, just about how much it bothered me. I didn't say anything at the time as I was fighting back tears.

Personally I think having the section did effect my bond with my baby. Because of the complications they didn't even show him to me. We didn't know if it was a boy or girl and I was so so looking forward to pushing him out and my OH telling me. But they eventually gave him to my OH all wrapped up in blankets, my Oh had to ask if he could unwrap him so he could see if it was a boy or girl then tell me. Not how id imagined it happening in my head! Xxx

I completely understand that. I had to have my c-section under general anesthesia so I was the last person in the world (or so it felt like!!) to see (and hold!) my baby girl. I didn't hold her until 4-5 hours afterwards, too much pain Thank goodness for morphine drip.

I wouldn't let how tramatic your baby's birth was interfer with bonding, hun.

 

[sandilion]

I am gob smacked.... any woman that has given birth KNOWS labor can be a sensitive subject for most women, especially within the first year of giving birth i reckon! I am appalled she is cruel enough to completely disregard your feelings at such a delicate time for you, and only focus on her bratty bullshit. She sounds horrible, is she always like this? Far out. My sister is and I have absolutely nothing to do with her. I know that's a hardcore stance to make, but if your sister makes a habit for lashing out like that and hurting you so much id be having it out with her. That's just bullshit she thinks she can say things like that to you.

What did your mother say? or did she just go quiet and ignore it like mine would? Not that mummy should be fighting our battles or anything but we all know that the first couple months after giving birth women are not back to their usual selves and can be very fragile emotionally. Though this comment your sister made would effect any woman at any time. I can only imagine how much this comment has effected you, it angers me just thinking of it!!

Please say something to her, for your own sanity. She owes you an apology.

 

[sandilion]

I also had a traumatic birth, and i remember once when a friend of a friend had a dig at the fact i ended up having a epi (I had a placenta abruption - lost heaps of blood, was having back to back labor pains for 4 days. Was complete hell i was in such a bad way i was hallucinating) and for someone to have a dig at me needed pain meds in the end to get the strength to be able to push really pissed me off. It's just terrible, people that are insecure in themselves can be extremely cruel to others.

 

[PetiteMoi]

Oh hun I'm so sorry for your experience and your sister's total lack of understanding.

You've had a lot of very wise and helpful comments here but I just felt I wanted to add my thoughts on this too as your post really got to me.

In my opinion the birth experience you had is the worst of two worlds (so to speak). You had to go through the worst bit of vaginal delivery, yes even the pushing stage, without actually getting your 'reward' at the end (obviously a healthy baby is the ultimate reward but you know what I mean). I've had two vaginal deliveries and they were both worth the blood, sweat and tears because of the glorious moment when they were actually pushed out and put on my chest. To be denied that after all the bloody hard work before must be heartbreaking.

I'm not saying that a selective ceasarian is a walk in the park! But I think what you went through must be the worst experience and I can't see how your sister thinks you had it the easy way?!?

I think you should definitely have a heart to heart with her like someone else suggested and ask her what is really bugging her because whatever it is she has no right to take it out on you - you've suffered enough!!!

I don't really think you should even compare birth stories as only YOU know what it was like for you but because you had to go through it all I still see you as a true champion and my hero!!!

 

[cat lover]

sorry but your sister is a bitch and deserves a bloody good slap. unacceptable comment

 

[ladybrock]

Oh hun sorry to hear you went through so much! I hope your recovering well now.
Ignore your sister that was a stupid thing to say and im sure deep down she knows that.
Shes just jelous. Enjoy ur bundle of joy x

 

[ladybrock]

Oh hun sorry to hear you went through so much! I hope your recovering well now.
Ignore your sister that was a stupid thing to say and im sure deep down she knows that.
Shes just jelous. Enjoy ur bundle of joy x

 

[tubs]

Wow, jealousy is just horrible. Definitely say something to her, she obviously has no clue!!