Hi all,
Sorry for disappearing after my meltdown the other day. Hubby's best friend from back home in Ireland was in town with his fiance so I had even less time to myself!
oh HC you poor thing. You must be totally exhausted which will not help anything at all. And the wee monkey! what is he up to?
Right - trying to think of some practical suggestions:
- can you get some time off from the monkey to re-energise you so you can come back with more umph to deal with the day / nights? Maybe just a hair cut or a lie in at the weekend?
Hubby's been helping when he can. It's just been a hectic week so we're both run ragged at this point. I'm not sure why since he never minded his daddy being there before but just recently with all of this going on he gets hysterically upset if it's not me that goes in to settle him. DH is feeling a little down about that I think even though he won't say it. He's definitely the go to guy for fun time but not so much for comfort at the moment.
- being naughty with day-time naps (i.e. snuggles on the sofa) so you can re-set his sleep so at least days aren't so bad? What is his favourite way to sleep? perhaps some of that to get him back up to good form?
I've tried that but he seems to have a harder time settling for cuddle naps these days and doesn't seem to sleep much longer. It depends though. Some days he will settle just fine and other days he clearly just wants to be put down. I tend to keep cuddle naps to when I just really need him to take a half hour or so kip at an awkward time of day.
- Is the light a problem? Could you feed him with a night-light on so it is dim and dark and then leave it on? If he is fussing when he feeds he might then not fall asleep whilst feeding in the dim?
I have blackout curtains and the room is quite dark during the day and dark at night. We just have a small lamp on during our bedtime routine (enough for me to read to him but little more), and overnight feeds it's just a nightlight. I've tried just using a nightlight for our bedtime routine, I've tried turning it off, and also leaving it on when he's trying to settle in his crib after that but I don't think it makes any difference.
- When he screamed for the hour, were you there all the time? Could you try check and leave for 5mins then go back? You could try this for up to 4 attempts then stay after that to reassure you and him?
I left at first, but every time he saw me if I checked on him he just escalated into hysterical crying that got worse if I then left. Staying didn't help other than he would calm down enough to spend time bouncing around in his crib before his next meltdown.
- 8 months is when Fibby had her massive seperation anxiety issues - for a fortnight I couldn't do anything without her sobbing her heart out. She grew out of it (but lapsing at the moment). I just tried to get her to play on her own with me a foot away, then a metre, then doing something else on the other side of the room then me in another room. They suddenly realise they are their own person and it freaks them i think. This must be what he is doing at night.
I think this is definitely part of it. He has his moments during the day where he flips out if I leave without warning or he wants me closer than I am. He is doing surprisingly well though and is happy to spend time playing by himself on the floor too plenty enough, as long as I'm within range.
- does he have a nunu? Fibby has ele-nu (an elephant with knots in the corners) and Bruno (a teddy now as she is getting bigger we are hoping to get her onto a bigger one). Fibby gets so much comfort from ele-nu at night.
Yeah, he has a Cuski that he definitely uses for comfort, as well as a taggie blanket thing and his pooka bear that his daddy insisted he have! His Cuski is with him all the time when he goes to sleep and his blankie and pooka are usually close by but in different parts of his crib. He moves around so much in his sleep and through the night that it helps to have things at different places for him to grab at.
Possibly. He cut the 4 and they're moving down but he's drooling like a fiend again and the rash on his cheeks has flared again but I can't see or feel anything yet.
Sorry for all the suggestions - just thought it might trigger a thought for you!
hope he behaves tonight!
Thanks for all the suggestions. I've definitely considered them. We've had a couple of decent nights mingled in and less night wakings so I'm hoping that I can focus on getting him to settle in the beginning of the evening again, and find out what the magic equation is for getting him to nap without a fight and for longer than 30 minutes. Speaking of, the only reason I've had a chance to reply now is he's been napping for almost a whole hour now! Woohoo!
p.s. Ronan is now a fully signed up member of the diva club for his temperament!
I'll be looking out for his diva membership card in the mail.
Also, sorry to hear you had a heck of a time with Fibby too. I hope it's gotten better.
You could send an email to Sleepsense and ask for advice, or post a question on her facebook page. She's pretty good at answering them.
I'd say it would maybe be worth going back to basics with it and starting again for a few days. The problem is, the longer you stay out of the routine, the harder it is to go back to it. Keep trying with the naps and at bedtime, do whatever method worked for you in the past. He is no doubt, testing your boundaries and it sounds like he is winning. It sounds almost like he is throwing a tantrum when you leave. He needs to know you are in charge though. If he stands up when you put him in the cot, lay him down. And keep doing it until he gets the message that he will give up before you do! Don't engage in any conversation, just repeat whatever phrase it is (e.g it's bedtime now, or time to sleep etc) It will take a bit of work and nerves of steel for a few days but it should sort it in the end. Of course it is up to you if you choose not to leave him to cry, but bear in mind that by giving in to him when he does, he knows exactly how to get his way the next night and the next.
It is such a hard thing to do though!
I think there's parts we definitely need to go back to the basics on. We started when he was so young though at 7 weeks with pick up/put down that I don't think the same thing will work quite the same at this point so we need to figure out what will work while still remaining comfortable with what we're doing.
I definitely don't want to get into bad habits, but I do think part of what's going on right now is with separation anxiety and leaving him to it just doesn't sit right with me at the moment. If he'll happily go down because we have a cuddle for 5-10 minutes until he's just on the verge of falling asleep saves us both an hour of tears and upset, it's a small enough price to pay since he will still sleep well by and large throughout the night and CAN self settle and settle himself back to sleep when he stirs.
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TG - See above if you have the fortitude to read through all that! I'm still tired and it's exhausting chasing after him all day, but hey that's what being a mummy is about, right? I don't think he's going to get any less active for a long time yet! I'm lucky I guess because he doesn't need me to constantly be there to entertain and play with him, just as long as I'm generally within eye or earshot of him. He's quite content to putter around and play through his toys and explore until I get in his way and spoil his fun by scooping him up before he manages to tip over the dog's water dish or to turn the volume on daddy's receiver right up so he gets a big surprise next time he turns it on.
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Anyway, not much else going on here otherwise. Obviously the monkey is being a right monkey. He's crawling and cruising, and has even done that limbo standing for a second or two thing when he lets go of what he's holding onto before plonking down on his nicely padded by cloth bum!
The weather is getting cold quickly here so our outside walks are far less frequent. We've been going to story/singalong time at one of the local libraries on a Wednesday morning though which gets us out, and we swim at least once a week (usually on Fridays). He loves the water so it's nice to do that with him. I was so impressed with him yesterday at class. He was proper dog paddling with his little arms and legs going trying to get to a little floating boat in the water. Obviously I had my hand under his belly but the boy has no fear! He's all over the place in the bath, too. You really can't take your eyes off him for a second!
Alrighty, I think I've blathered on enough. I may try and get myself a cup of tea before the monkey wakes up. Just my luck I decide not to try and have a wee nap with him when he actually decides to nap for more than a half hour!
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chocolate. OH bought a box in with him from work and I was puzzled as he is on a starving blood test in the morning and quizzed him in a 'you've forgotton your appointment' when he was just being nice 
doesn't help with his man flu issues!
who has the most unfriendly baby house.
Thanks!! How nice of your OH! Mine hasn't quite got the hint and thinks he is doing me a favour not going out and getting me some treats 
At the end of the day though Otto is my precious baby so I don't care what they think. I'll see what tomorrow/Wednesday brings.
guys, wow this thread is still going strong 
The clocks going back has confused him slightly and he still got up his usual time which happened to be an hour earlier this morning 
oh guys what a week it has been 
