Sleep Sense Support Group!

[Cattia]

I agree with Polaris, there is no need to leave her unless you feel comfortable. I still stay with Abigail now when she has the odd bad night. I also think over-tiredness is a big problem. I used to find that when Abigail didn't nap properly she would be a nightmare to settle. It's not so much the case now she's older but it was until she was about 7 or 8 months.

 

[PetiteMoi]

Thanks Cattia and Polaris. I guess I need to be more careful making sure she gets enough sleep during the day. She fell asleep after 25 mins but keeps waking up crying, pretty much like the other night when she kept waking but managed to self settle. But I've had to go in to her once already as she was sounding quite upset - she settled again within a couple of minutes but now she keeps waking up again. Poor little sausage. I so want to just her up but afraid I'll ruin things as she will love being cuddled but will start crying when I put her down again...!

 

[Foogirl]

Not going great tonight, think she was over tired. She had a nap between 2 and 3pm and then I didn't want to risk giving her another nap because it would be too close to bedtime. Her cry is an angry cry tonight again Did you find that you sort of took one step forward and two back sometimes?

Also, another question - we're on our 9th night which means that tomorrow we should just leave her without being in the room at all. I don't feel ready for this as she's still taking a while to settle - and tonight when she cried angrily I went over to her and stroked her and that seemed to calm her down. Did you all leave the room on the 10th night??

If you don't feel ready to leave her yet, then don't. We left on day 3 (we just couldn't take it and were actually having a row (very quietly) about whether or not we were doing the right thing.) We were gobsmacked when she stopped crying within about 3 or 4 minutes!

There was plenty of steps forward and back, like any skill, it takes a bit of getting used to!

As for missing the late nap for fear of affecting sleep. I think you've actually now experienced why that is a bad idea! The logic seems to make sense, but it doesn't work that way. She really will find it easier to get off to sleep if she isn't over tired. Even now Abby often sleeps til 6pm! When she does we knock bedtime back a bit, but her late afternoon nap usually starts around 3.30 and she's generally up by 5. When I'm working she sleeps for about 40 minutes on the journey home and yet she generally still always goes off to bed about 8pm and sleeps straight away.

As has been said, you can always wake her from the nap, or let her sleep and adjust bedtime to suit. She can't tell time so if it shifts an hour, she won't notice!

 

[Arcanegirl]

^ were the same as Foogirl, Alex very easily sleeps untill 5pm and still goes to bed at 7.30-8pm no probs! So dont dismiss a nap close to bedtime untill it actually becomes a problem

 

[Dopeyjopey]

tried putting A down awake this evening and he cried for 4 minutes then fell asleep! I have started putting him in his cot at night instead of co-sleeping and he was up 5 times last night. I fed him back to sleep each time and i've been knackered today so i can't wait to get started now!

 

[hivechild]

PetiteMoi - I agree with the others that late naps are better than being overtired! We still struggle when Ronan's naps are off but he absolutely refuses to go down for a late nap so I end up having to keep him awake.

Today is a prime example. He's sick and slept horrid last night, then only napped for a total of 1 hour and 15 minutes over 2 naps today, despite my efforts to get him napping for longer and again later in the afternoon or even for me to get him to bed earlier than normal. He was awake from 2:10pm until 7:25pm, and he's already woken once since he finally fell asleep so I'm anticipating another restless night with little sleep for mama.

Dopeyjopey - That's great that he's settling on his own to sleep in cot. That's a big step and a good start toward him learning to settle himself back to sleep during the night. I hope the trend continues on that note for you!

 

[TennisGal]

Petite - another one here for the late nap...today Lizzie didn't nap AT all until 4pm, she then slept until 5:30, woke up in huff (was so hungry!) ate dinner, had a play, bath, BF and bed...Definitely easier than if I keep her awake, as she then somehow goes past tiredness and becomes Mademoiselle Grump, and can't settle herself.

DopeyJ - FAB news!! Keep us updated!

All well here, Lizzie managed to find a bag of Organix carrot puffs today. Bear in mind, she's normally allowed two or three a day. DH and I were suddenly aware our littlie was v quiet, and then found her quietly demolishing a HUGE number of said snacks!! Luckily they don't have bads in them...but I don't know how they were discovered!?

Am also trying to keep myself calm about Swine Flu. I've read all the headlines, and got myself in a bit of a state. As per!

 

[PetiteMoi]

Hello again! Have made sure she had enough naps today, last one was 5-5.30pm. But we think she might be teething as she's ferociously chewing her bunny rabbit and crying in pain It's been an hour now. I've put teething gel on her gums and we keep reassuring her and stroking her but she won't settle. Are teething symptoms more common at night? She seems fine during the day - she constantly has her fist in her mouth but is happy! So we're a bit unsure if it's actually teething?? What should we do - keep to the routine or pick her up???

 

[Arcanegirl]

Teething is definatley worse at night, theres not so many distractions to keep them happy.
Try and stick to the routine as best as you can but if you need to give her a cuddle, calm her down etc then go do that.

 

[PetiteMoi]

She settled eventually after a couple of hours last night and slept through till 3 or 4 when I fed her and then she went back again till 6.30am. We'll see how it goes tonight, she's still crying after 25 mins, hopefully it's not her teething bothering her tonight...! How are you all doing? Hope you've all been sleeping well

Dopey - I know exactly what you mean, we couldn't wait to start the programme as LO was feeding every hour and took at least 2 hours to nurse to sleep when we took her with us to bed at 10 or 11pm! Good luck, keep us posted!

 

[Foogirl]

Glad it is going OK Petite. When it came to teething, we went for the 3 pronged approach. Started with the powders, then the calgel then the calpol. It was against my will pretty much as I rarely used calpol (and still don't very much) but I figured, the last thing she needed was teething affecting her sleep.

 

[chrissie33]

Hi girls, new to Sleep Sense, just starting it tonight with my dd who is 14 months. We have waited this long as we have tried so many things and made so many excuses but having read a few posts here a while back, I decided it was time to do something for all our sakes.
The weird thing is that despite Katie sleeping for no more than 2 hour slots evening and night, she is still a really happy baby hence us waiting so long. The main reason that I have made the decision is that I am still bf'ing her and she is still feeding 2 - 3 times a night which I know she doesn't need but it has always been the quickest and quietest way of getting her back to sleep.... I know this is not the right thing to do but when you are exhausted, you do whatever you can afterall

So here we are, day 1. We (well I really as hubby in work) started it tonight and it has been so hard. Katie literally cried for 1.5hrs, sometimes angry cry, sometimes 'why are you not holding me mummy' cry, sometimes 'I'm fighting sleep' cry. It breaks my heart to hear and see her cry but I know that if I crack now and pick her up, first day in, my chances of success are almost non existent. So, after sitting in the room with her, reassuring her, tapping the matress, ssshing her, touching her face, hands etc, she finally went to sleep. I then promptly burst into tears (after leaving the room of course) and phoned DH and had a meltdown. I found it ridiculously hard - I get upset if she is crying when DH is rocking her back and forth to get her to sleep when she is over-tired. So as you can gather, I have decided to adopt the 'stay in the room' approach.

She slept for 40 mins, then started crying but within 10 mins was quiet again and so I left her to it, now another 40 mins later, she is crying again. It is horrible hearing her cry She seems to quieten then cry then quieten then cry... is this normal?

The hard bit is when she is standing in the cot holding her arms up to me and looking at me with sad little eyes.....

Please tell me this is normal..... I have to be strong as I know this is the best thing for her but it is so hard doing it on my own when DH is in work......

 

[Arcanegirl]

To start with the crying then quiet is very normal, that was the type of cry we had trouble with deciding whether to go in or not (we opted to go out of the room), but certainly very normal

 

[chrissie33]

Thanks hun. She woke up again just before 10, I had to go in to her though as she was crying quite hysterically. I gave her a cuddle as she was standing in the cot (didnt pick her up, just leaned over and hugged her), stroked her face, gave her a kiss and then sat down and tapped the matress saying ' lay down for mummy' - i was so shocked when she actually did and went back to sleep..... fingers crossed she manages to get a decent sleep tonight, poor thing. Its got to be hard on them when their routine is changed so drastically. Until today she has used me as a way to get to sleep, whether it be feeding or cuddling. She is doing really well considering and I am going to make such a fun day for her tomorrow

 

[PetiteMoi]

Foogirl - we might go for the same thing but she seemed to be better tonight - took 45 mins to settle but has been sleeping since, touch wood!

chrissie - it's so interesting reading about your first night as we've only just started our sleep training with our 5 month old daughter and a lot of what you're going through sounds very familiar. Our daughter also wakes up and cries, quitens, cries, etc, and we always try to leave her for those 10 'magic minutes' and she usually settles without us interfering. It's sooooo hard to listen to them cry though isn't it I try to think of it this way: we're teaching them a very, very useful skill which will be so helpful for them - I was a very anxious sleeper as a child and often woke my parents up so that I could share their bed, etc, and I would rather my daughter became a confident sleeper than had to rely on others to go to sleep. And if you're in the room with them (we're doing the stay in the room method too) they won't feel abandoned - they cry because they're tired and don't quite know how to go to sleep but this is what they're learning, slowly but surely!

Also, babies' cry is not the same as an adult's cry; it's the only way they can express themselves and they will cry as much over the frustration of not being able to go to sleep as over more dramatic things! What I mean is, it's not as bad as it sounds. Dana explains this a lot better in her programme which I assume you've read - that reassured me a lot. Good luck and I look forward to following your progress! It's hard but I'm sure it will all be worth it in the end!

 

[Foogirl]

Please tell me this is normal..... I have to be strong as I know this is the best thing for her but it is so hard doing it on my own when DH is in work......

Absolutely normal. Poor wee poppet thinks she needs your magic boobs to get to sleep but we all know she doesn't. It will take her a wee while to get used to this, but within a couple of days it will be much much easier. It sounds as if she is getting it a bit already, of on her first waking, she was able to go back to sleep.

Of course it is hard to hear them cry (hint from Arcanegirl, do you have an I-pod or something similar...?) But I always thought of the analogy that Dana gave about children crying. Sometimes it is unavoidable, say they want to keep eating chocolate but you know full well they can't, would you give in and let them eat it all day? Or step in and take it away and deal with the tears?

Just tell yourself, you're doing this for your LO, the crying will only last a wee while, and she will still love you in the morning!

Stay strong, you can do it.

 

[chrissie33]

Thanks girls. This thread is so reassuring indeed. I did read the programme, it made a lot of sense to be honest as she does explain it all really well. I did find myself nodding a lot when reading it....lol
So far, she is still asleep so I am going to take this opportunity to get some sleep now incase it is a rough night. Thanks again girls - I look forward to sharing the journey with you all xx

 

[Arcanegirl]

Ipod is a godsend

 

[PetiteMoi]

Chrissie - how's it going tonight?

I can't believe this - our LO didn't cry AT ALL tonight!!! She chatted to the bumper for a bit, then stuck her thumb in her mouth (she's only just started sucking her thumb) and fell asleep?!?! Amazing. I bet we're in for a hard night though cos it can't be this easy surely!

 

[Foogirl]

Chrissie - how's it going tonight?

I can't believe this - our LO didn't cry AT ALL tonight!!! She chatted to the bumper for a bit, then stuck her thumb in her mouth (she's only just started sucking her thumb) and fell asleep?!?! Amazing. I bet we're in for a hard night though cos it can't be this easy surely!

That's brilliant. Funny how they find their own wee comfort. Abby had always stroked her nose and lips with her hand or her sleeve, even in the incubator, but on starting sleepsense she started sucking her tongue too. Now whenever she is tired or worried, she rubs "funty" (her cuddle elephant) on her lips and nose and sucks her tongue. It is incredible cute.