Sleep Sense Support Group!

[Foogirl]

^^wss

How can they feel abandoned when you are right there.

Petite, my mum and dad, (and sister too) were the same. Once, whilst staying with my sister, she found it really hard so I told her, 'go lift her if you want' She came downstairs an hour later and admitted she understood it. Once up, it was hard to get her back down. She didn't mind as it meant she got lots of cuddles (she lives far away and doesn't get to see her much) but did say she couldn't do it every night.

Plus, letting them cry definitely isn't the Swedish way! I have a friend across there and her Swedish husband just wouldn't let her do it.

 

[Bertsbaby1]

Hi SleepSensers! I am looking for solutions to get my LO to sleep better at night. He's a wonderful napper and sleeps pretty well for the first half of the night but is awful from around 3 a.m. on. Here's our usual day:

Consistent wake time - 6 am
Feed and play
Nap from 730 - 930/10 am
Feed and play
Nap from noon - 130/2 pm
Feed and play
Maybe catnap from 4-5 pm depending on the day
Feed around 6 pm
Bedtime routine at 7 pm, asleep by 8 pm (he falls asleep on his own after a snack/top up bottle)
Up for feed between 1 and 2 a.m.

My major issue is that between 8 pm and his nightfeed he typically wakes up once or twice for his pacifier (we pop it in his mouth and he zonks out no problem) and from 3 a.m. to 6 a.m. he wakes up at least every half an hour. This morning he was up 8 times between 3 and 6. Some added info - we swaddle him still, he currently weighs 13 lbs 8 ozs, and eats about 30 - 35 ozs of formula/day.

Are we candidates for this program? Think it would help?

Thanks!

 

[PetiteMoi]

hivechild - thanks hun.. you're right, it's not easy sometimes to know what to do! Wow you're going on your own to Australia, how long does it take from where you are? I've flown to Sweden on my own with LO, it's been ok but then the flight is only 2 hours from here. I'm sure you'll be fine though and people are really helpful when it comes to a mum flying on her own with a baby. Jetlag could be tricky but I'm sure he'll adjust ok.

LO is definitely teething so I'm making temporary allowances, i.e. I pick her up if she gets too upset, cuddle her and sing to her for just a few seconds and then put her down again which seems to settle her. Not sure how bad this really is, as I do put her down when she's still awake? I suppose I'm teaching her that if she cries she'll be picked up and comforted but is that so bad? I picked her up twice tonight and she fell asleep straight away after the second time.

 

[Foogirl]

Are we candidates for this program? Think it would help?

Thanks!

Yes, however, you'd need to be willing to get rid of the pacifier. Although you say he drops off no problem, the likelihood is, it is the pacifier that is helping him get to sleep, so when he wakes he thinks he needs it to get back to sleep. This program is designed around letting them find their own way to sleep without relying on 'props' (pacifiers, White noise, rocking etc).

I think it does say you can continue to use them for settling in the day, just not as a way into sleep.

 

[PetiteMoi]

Things are not going great at bedtime anymore! When we first started we managed to get to no crying and settling after 5-10 mins but after our 1 week holiday (2 weeks ago now) and teething problems we seem to be back to square one?! Still! Unless she's still teething - she's not having teething problems during the day though and she takes 30-45 mins to settle every night now. Why??? What are we doing wrong? We sort of went back to the start of the programme, sitting next to her and reassuring her, but only when she really starts crying, but it's not improving...

 

[hivechild]

PetiteMoi - There's a leap in development around 6 months and right around your LO's age can be a particularly rough time for her and you both. I don't think you're doing anything wrong, but you may find that just giving her some cuddles and reassurance will be enough and things will settle soon enough on their own.

They also often go through a generally brief (a few weeks) period of separation anxiety in the coming weeks so she may be especially clingy and unsettled at the time. I have always just given Ronan the extra cuddles and love if he's going through a phase of wanting me closer by than normal and so far, it's not been a problem and once he's past it, he goes back to settling just fine on his own.

 

[jubilee]

hi, there are so many pages that I couldn't read through them all. is there a book or something I could read?

 

[Arcanegirl]

this is the official website
https://www.sleepsense.net/

 

[Dilek]

Hiya ladies

I just came across this and totally makes sense. My son has colic, and he uses a dummy to fall asleep and to calm him down i pat his bottom. With the colic, he still has gas pains and it will wake him up. He will whinge with the pain and if the dummy in his mouth he we fall back to sleep. He doesnt go red anymore or pull up his legs. So i think its almost there. Just wondering when shall i start. He is just over 3 months old and weighs 5.5kgs.
Do u still give feeds in the night, as ds still feeds 2 a night.

Ive had a chat to dh about it and we are really interested. Also we are moving into a new place next weekend. DO u think we should start now or wait till we move to our new place?

 

[Foogirl]

Hiya ladies

I just came across this and totally makes sense. My son has colic, and he uses a dummy to fall asleep and to calm him down i pat his bottom. With the colic, he still has gas pains and it will wake him up. He will whinge with the pain and if the dummy in his mouth he we fall back to sleep. He doesnt go red anymore or pull up his legs. So i think its almost there. Just wondering when shall i start. He is just over 3 months old and weighs 5.5kgs.
Do u still give feeds in the night, as ds still feeds 2 a night.

Ive had a chat to dh about it and we are really interested. Also we are moving into a new place next weekend. DO u think we should start now or wait till we move to our new place?

I would wait until you move. That's a big change for a LO.

Sleepsense gives great advice about how to deal with night feedings, if you feel they are still required. You'd need to be prepared to give up the dummy at sleeptimes though.

 

[Dilek]

Hiya ladies

I just came across this and totally makes sense. My son has colic, and he uses a dummy to fall asleep and to calm him down i pat his bottom. With the colic, he still has gas pains and it will wake him up. He will whinge with the pain and if the dummy in his mouth he we fall back to sleep. He doesnt go red anymore or pull up his legs. So i think its almost there. Just wondering when shall i start. He is just over 3 months old and weighs 5.5kgs.
Do u still give feeds in the night, as ds still feeds 2 a night.

Ive had a chat to dh about it and we are really interested. Also we are moving into a new place next weekend. DO u think we should start now or wait till we move to our new place?

I would wait until you move. That's a big change for a LO.

Sleepsense gives great advice about how to deal with night feedings, if you feel they are still required. You'd need to be prepared to give up the dummy at sleeptimes though.

Thanks hun. I read in earlier posts that ur daughter had colic. DO u think its a good time to start now regarding my sons colic.. You are right i will do it after we move.

ive always been a hater of dummies, but had no choice... U know at the moment i swaddle him but when he is not swaddled, he does suck his fingers. How do u stop that?? SO much to learn.

 

[Arcanegirl]

You dont need to stop them sucking their fingers, thats comfort they can give themselves without relying on you to do it.

 

[Foogirl]

Colic was the worst. We weren't doing Sleepsense at the time so I have no idea whether it will work or not. When she had colic, she needed loads of cuddles so I would have done the "pick up put down" method. To be honest, any way I could have got her to sleep, be it rocking or a dummy, I would have gone with it until the colic passed. One tip though, warmth really helps. Put a hot water bottle in the cot before you put them down then take it away just as you lay your LO down, it really helped a lot with Abby. Plenty of tummy massage helps too. You have my sympathy, it was hellish. If it is any consolation, it shouldn't last too long.

That's not to say Sleepsense won't work if he has colic, what you could do is implement the bedtime routine, try pick up / put down, but if he does cry and it goes beyond a kind of protest cry - i.e if it sounds like there is a lot of pain behind it, lots of cuddles might be the way.

Someone somewhere posted a video link for a colic hold. See if you can track it down as I believe it is brilliant. I think it was on You tube.

As for sucking fingers, go with it. It is a great way for them to soothe themselves and if they need to suck for comfort, they can always find their own hands. It is a good sign he's found an alternative to the dummy already. Abby sucked her tongue and tickled her lips with her sleeve. It was incredibly sweet. She still does it with her toy elephant when she is sleepy or worried.

 

[Dilek]

Oh bummer wrote a proper reply and now its gone. I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!!!

One last silly question, when do u know when the colic has passed completely? Its so silly but im scared to stop giving him gripe water.

Interesting that hand sucking is better than the dummy. Well my boy loves his hands. Today he was licking his zipper. I couldnt stop laughing.

 

[Foogirl]

Oh bummer wrote a proper reply and now its gone. I HATE WHEN THAT HAPPENS!!!!

One last silly question, when do u know when the colic has passed completely? Its so silly but im scared to stop giving him gripe water.

Interesting that hand sucking is better than the dummy. Well my boy loves his hands. Today he was licking his zipper. I couldnt stop laughing.

Yeah, as I said, they can find their own hands if they wake in the night. That's the whole point of Sleepsense, to teach them they can get back to sleep without your help. If they have a dummy, they'll rarely be able to find it themselves!

As for the colic. Well, it has passed when the screaming stops!!!

You can continue with the gripe water if you wish, it is entirely safe. How about reducing it and seeing what happens?

 

[TennisGal]

Ladies, for anyone wishing to have an o/t chat...without distracting from the main support purpose of this thread...we have:

https://www.babyandbump.com/parenting-groups/538277-sleep-sense-graduates-chat-thread-d.html

Will be on hoping to offer some advice soon...only my littlie seems very keen on early starts atm!

Hope all are well - TG

 

[PetiteMoi]

Our little girl is definitely going through a phase of sorts. She had her second tooth come through two days ago which probably explains her difficulties going to sleep lately, but she still finds it hard to settle and cries for 30-45 mins. My husband and i can't quite agree on a plan. He thinks we should move out of her room as we might disturb her whereas I think we should cut her some slack as she's not being herself at the moment.

After 30 mins of crying tonight, I picked her up, sang to her and then put her down, still singing and stroking her. She settled straight away and went to sleep (I made sure I stopped singing and stroking her before she nodded off). Is this a bad thing to do?? My mother instinct tells me she needs more love and attention right now, but are we creating 'a rod for our own backs'?! Or confusing her? Is she going through a phase or are we disturbing her by being next to her?? It's so hard to know.

I don't want to undo our hard work but I don't want to leave her crying her eyes out when I know she's not very settled and something must be bothering her!

 

[polaris]

Our little girl is definitely going through a phase of sorts. She had her second tooth come through two days ago which probably explains her difficulties going to sleep lately, but she still finds it hard to settle and cries for 30-45 mins. My husband and i can't quite agree on a plan. He thinks we should move out of her room as we might disturb her whereas I think we should cut her some slack as she's not being herself at the moment.

After 30 mins of crying tonight, I picked her up, sang to her and then put her down, still singing and stroking her. She settled straight away and went to sleep (I made sure I stopped singing and stroking her before she nodded off). Is this a bad thing to do?? My mother instinct tells me she needs more love and attention right now, but are we creating 'a rod for our own backs'?! Or confusing her? Is she going through a phase or are we disturbing her by being next to her?? It's so hard to know.

I don't want to undo our hard work but I don't want to leave her crying her eyes out when I know she's not very settled and something must be bothering her!

I strongly believe that you won't go too far wrong following your mummy instincts. Thomas has gone through lots of phases where I have felt the need to bend the 'rules' a bit. He is a fantastic sleeper now. I think once you stick to the basics of allowing her to fall asleep by herself then there is no harm in giving her extra love and cuddles when she is out of sorts. I would say it is definitely her tooth bothering her. I very rarely give Thomas Calpol but occasionally if he wakes in the night and is clearly trying to go back to sleep but can't settle and I know it is his teeth bothering him, then I will give him Calpol and it does settle him.

 

[PetiteMoi]

Thanks Polaris. Will teeth still bother babies once they've erupted though? I was hoping she'd feel better now it's come through... But I think you're right, as long as I won't let her fall asleep on a prop I suppose we can bend the rules a bit while she's not feeling well.

 

[Arcanegirl]

I think they can still be a bit bothersome even after the tooth has come through. A blunt-ish tooth has just forced its way through the gum, the skin needs to recover.