Sleep Sense Support Group!

[polaris]

P - just seen your thread...our naps were shorter today, so definitely empathising with that! Isn't the jumperoo great? DD LOVES hers! I find myself singing along to the music...she's a huge fan of the lizard rattle.

I think this thread is fab, too - love hearing all the updates and updating

I think the lizard rattle is Thomas's favourite so far too - and he also was loving chewing on the dragonfly!
Sorry for OT posts about jumperoo!!

 

[history_girls]

I use the bumbo for baths every night. On her own I fill the bath until it just comes into the sit bit - or it floats. Then she can sit in the bath very happily as she hats lying in the bath and too small for the proper bath bits.

When I'm in a use my legs to pin it to the bottom. Not sure if a bumbo should be used in the bath but mine has for a month and no probs

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

Hi Femme - the major difference is sitting with your LO and comforting them. DH and I are not fans of CIO, either (just personal choice) and DD never actually got really upset with SS. She cried, but we could really see that the reason she was crying was because she was trying to get herself to sleep. More like protesting and cross? We stroked her head, talked to her etc so she at no point felt like we had left her. She settled very quickly and is much more content as a result.

Previously, when DD had been in her cot for any reason and couldn't see/hear one of us (normally when DH was at work a bit later, and I'd try to establish bedtime and just pop out to answer phone or something) she'd get hugely upset...it's a completely different scenario.

I was so nervous about the programme, but DD was only sleeping on me or DH...and I was more nervous that one of us would fall asleep with her on us. I was even trying out sleeping in a t-shape with her on the floor, lol (didn't work!). I am so impressed with how it's worked, because it HAS worked...for all of us! DD didn't feel abandoned, we didn't feel awful...and we are all much more with it! I feel also that she's learned a good skill by learning how to get to sleep, as she's much more refreshed and less grizzly.

It is so hard to see your LO crying, but we recognised the crying to be irritation at needing to sleep. I loved DD sleeping on me, but I was getting so tired I was paranoid I'd fall asleep...and I also wasn't firing with all cylinders during the day. She still naps on me during the day, lol. Trying to work on a couple in the cot, and one is still on me

PM - that's happened to us! I think our LOs get used to bedtime o'clock, lol

Thanks for replying. Do you think maybe 3 months is a bit young? She can get into a big state, very quickly and we've never left her to it for more than a few seconds. Am just nervous about this.

I know she's tired and wish I could help so really want to try this. Nice to know she can still nap on us in the day

 

[history_girls]

The book covers different ages. I started at four and a half months which i felt happy with. We did try at four months but I wasn't in the right place. Yes you do have a few nights of crying (my first was 45 mins) but I never left, stroked her head and she calmed. My LO hates pu/pd as it teases her. She would sooner be left down.

I have given in at night and sushed her to sleep on me once but that was when she got hysterical and I thought no sleep programme is worth it. But as she says in the book, if after an hour you give in then that hour you let them cry was pointless. this helped me stay focus. I can't do CC or CIO. She sees me in the room, she knows I'm there she is just cross with me that I won#t do what she wants. We rarely get crying at bedtime one week into full sleepsense!

Naps during the day are supposed to be in their cot - mine is in the travel cot as I'm getting her ready to go to the childminder in a month where she has a travel cot. Mine are all on me! never mind we'll get there!

 

[polaris]

Hi Femme - the major difference is sitting with your LO and comforting them. DH and I are not fans of CIO, either (just personal choice) and DD never actually got really upset with SS. She cried, but we could really see that the reason she was crying was because she was trying to get herself to sleep. More like protesting and cross? We stroked her head, talked to her etc so she at no point felt like we had left her. She settled very quickly and is much more content as a result.

Previously, when DD had been in her cot for any reason and couldn't see/hear one of us however briefly (normally when DH was at work a bit later, and I'd try to establish bedtime and just pop out to answer phone or something) she'd get hugely upset...it's a completely different scenario.

I was so nervous about the programme, but DD was only sleeping on me or DH...and I was more nervous that one of us would fall asleep with her on us. I was even trying out sleeping in a t-shape with her on the floor, lol (didn't work!). I am so impressed with how it's worked, because it HAS worked...for all of us! DD didn't feel abandoned, we didn't feel awful...and we are all much more with it! I feel also that she's learned a good skill by learning how to get to sleep, as she's much more refreshed and less grizzly.

It is so hard to see your LO crying, but we recognised the crying to be irritation at needing to sleep. I loved DD sleeping on me, but I was getting so tired I was paranoid I'd fall asleep...and I also wasn't firing with all cylinders during the day. She still naps on me during the day, lol. Trying to work on a couple in the cot, and one is still on me

PM - that's happened to us! I think our LOs get used to bedtime o'clock, lol

I agree with all of this - I think TG has put it really well. I also hate the idea of just leaving your LO to CIO. There is some crying with the programme - it is very very stressful and difficult not to pick your LO up but I think the fact that you can stay with them makes a huge difference. We still have crying before every nap - I hate it - but at bedtime Thomas is so happy when I put him down and very rarely cries unless he is overtired because I've kept him up too long - I hope eventually that naps will be like this too. Also I find that I can usually tell if there is something wrong like trapped wind because it is a different type of cry. Also if I get it wrong and pick Thomas up to wind him when he is just crying because he wants to go to sleep, then he will get really annoyed and clearly just wants me to put him back down. I do believe that sleep is very very important for babies so I will do what is necessary to help him learn the skills that he needs to sleep well. Also my experience was that there was much less crying than I would have predicted when I read through the programme first.

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

Thank ladies. We're in a place now where she''s crying on and off and refusing to sleep from 10pm til 7am most nights and this has been going on for 2 weeks. She goes down at 7 and sleeps til 12, feeds, then sleeps til 4pm She's like a student! I don't think it's a simple case of mixing up day and night, she was a great little sleeper from 9 weeks until about 12 (when all this started), so I don't know what's happened. She's never self settled and I think maybe the recent growth spurt has thrown her right off and now she just passes out from exhaustion at 7

So, since she's crying an awful lot and is so tired I think we need to give it a try. No amount of rocking, patting, shushing or nursing is working. I don't know what else we can do and she needs to sleep.

Tomorrow is probably best as OH is working late tonight and I don't think I can do it on my own.

Thank again

 

[history_girls]

No don't try on your own! This was the mistake i made the night i gave in and picked her up. Someone advised (TG was it you?) to do it together the first night so it is consistent and also you could either do 20min shifts or just support each other through it. We started a friday night so had support all weekend.

right off to bed - got to leave the house at 3.50 eek!!!!

 

[TennisGal]

We started at five months, we would have tried a bit earlier if we'd known about this programme! The only option I knew about was CIO, which isn't for us. Knowing that we're all there together, and she knows we are there is a biiiig relief (for all!)

As HG says, naps are supposed to be in the cot...lol...we're working on them (bit by bit!), but it does take longer for the naps to happen without protestation, bed-time is easier.

It is hard for the first few nights...DH and I did bedtimes together...but it's amazing how quickly it works, and how you can see the good effects. I agree with Polaris - less crying than we thought. More protesting!

 

[polaris]

Hi Femme - the major difference is sitting with your LO and comforting them. DH and I are not fans of CIO, either (just personal choice) and DD never actually got really upset with SS. She cried, but we could really see that the reason she was crying was because she was trying to get herself to sleep. More like protesting and cross? We stroked her head, talked to her etc so she at no point felt like we had left her. She settled very quickly and is much more content as a result.

Previously, when DD had been in her cot for any reason and couldn't see/hear one of us (normally when DH was at work a bit later, and I'd try to establish bedtime and just pop out to answer phone or something) she'd get hugely upset...it's a completely different scenario.

I was so nervous about the programme, but DD was only sleeping on me or DH...and I was more nervous that one of us would fall asleep with her on us. I was even trying out sleeping in a t-shape with her on the floor, lol (didn't work!). I am so impressed with how it's worked, because it HAS worked...for all of us! DD didn't feel abandoned, we didn't feel awful...and we are all much more with it! I feel also that she's learned a good skill by learning how to get to sleep, as she's much more refreshed and less grizzly.

It is so hard to see your LO crying, but we recognised the crying to be irritation at needing to sleep. I loved DD sleeping on me, but I was getting so tired I was paranoid I'd fall asleep...and I also wasn't firing with all cylinders during the day. She still naps on me during the day, lol. Trying to work on a couple in the cot, and one is still on me

PM - that's happened to us! I think our LOs get used to bedtime o'clock, lol

Thanks for replying. Do you think maybe 3 months is a bit young? She can get into a big state, very quickly and we've never left her to it for more than a few seconds. Am just nervous about this.

I know she's tired and wish I could help so really want to try this. Nice to know she can still nap on us in the day

I think at 3 months I would probably work on getting her to self-settle at bedtime first - I think that comes the easiest to them. Naps are harder and if you are feeling in two minds about the programme then it would be very hard to stick to the plan for naps. Once you see it starting to work at bedtime then it will be easier to extend it to naps as well. Thomas started to learn to self-settle at bedtime when he was 12 weeks but he was still taking all of his naps in the bouncy chair until he was 4 months - I didn't think he was ready to go in the cot before that. I know it's not following the programme exactly but personally I think that you can take it step-by-step and work on things one by one - it probably is quicker if you are consistent for all sleep but I don't know if I would be able to do it to start off with. The only reason I am able to manage to work on naps now is because I know that Thomas is able to self-settle at bedtime and during the night - otherwise I would be too worried that if he didn't sleep he would be getting completely overtired during the day.

We have a nice supportive thread going here so let us know if you have any questions at all about it.

 

[Cattia]

We are still in the land of the short nap. She goes down for naps no problems, self settles, but then wakes up after 45 mins and I leave her, but her screaming gets louder, so I go in and try to re-settle her, but the screaming elevates until I pick her up. When I put her back down again she starts again. This can go on for as long as I let it, she never goes back down, unless I rock her moses basket then she might do for a bit. On Monday she goes into her cot so there will be no rocking then, there has to be a way of getting her to nap longer! Have tried wake to sleep every day but with no success.

 

[polaris]

Thank ladies. We're in a place now where she''s crying on and off and refusing to sleep from 10pm til 7am most nights and this has been going on for 2 weeks. She goes down at 7 and sleeps til 12, feeds, then sleeps til 4pm She's like a student! I don't think it's a simple case of mixing up day and night, she was a great little sleeper from 9 weeks until about 12 (when all this started), so I don't know what's happened. She's never self settled and I think maybe the recent growth spurt has thrown her right off and now she just passes out from exhaustion at 7

So, since she's crying an awful lot and is so tired I think we need to give it a try. No amount of rocking, patting, shushing or nursing is working. I don't know what else we can do and she needs to sleep.

Tomorrow is probably best as OH is working late tonight and I don't think I can do it on my own.

Thank again

Aw the poor little thing, it is so upsetting to see them so over-tired - and it can't be a good thing for her (or for you!) for her to be unable to sleep all night, babies do have biological rhythms that set their natural sleep patterns and she will be much happier when she gets her sleep back in phase with how it should be.

It's interesting that it started at 12 weeks - Thomas was about 11 or 12 weeks when he stopped being able to fall asleep in my arms anymore - before that I always rocked him to sleep in my arms or walked around with him on my shoulder to get him to sleep - it just stopped working and he would cry for hours in my arms but not go to sleep - I think it was such a relief to him as well as me when I started putting him down in his basket to sleep - he worked it all out a lot quicker than I expected - and there was definitely less crying than there had been when I was trying to rock him to sleep.

Starting tomorrow when OH is around sounds like a good plan - as I said my advice would be to focus on bedtime first and then gradually extend it once you see it working for her.

 

[jacs]

Ah, laughing at the man/clothes thing. Why are they so clueless but hilarious in this department?
Total coincidence, but today Evan was wearing his romper suit back to front - I picked him up and all the poppers were around his bum, digging in my arm, instead of along the front. Wouldn't care, but I gave DH everything he needed to get through just 15mins on his own, while I went in the shower!

Sorry if you're HG's OH, reading this tomorrow!


Got the wee one to bed no prob. tonight, determined to get naps right tomorrow!!


Night folks x

 

[jacs]

We are still in the land of the short nap. She goes down for naps no problems, self settles, but then wakes up after 45 mins and I leave her, but her screaming gets louder, so I go in and try to re-settle her, but the screaming elevates until I pick her up. When I put her back down again she starts again. This can go on for as long as I let it, she never goes back down, unless I rock her moses basket then she might do for a bit. On Monday she goes into her cot so there will be no rocking then, there has to be a way of getting her to nap longer! Have tried wake to sleep every day but with no success.

This was us, word for word, until 3 weeks ago. All I can say is that, now Evan can put himself back to sleep (with the help of blankie!), naps have followed suit, and he has one or two longer naps each day now. We had months of 40min naps only, and he just had to learn to do it - nothing I could do for him.
Could you go in and gently shush, rather than picking her up? It may be that she's sleepy, but the PU/PD wakes her?

 

[polaris]

We are still in the land of the short nap. She goes down for naps no problems, self settles, but then wakes up after 45 mins and I leave her, but her screaming gets louder, so I go in and try to re-settle her, but the screaming elevates until I pick her up. When I put her back down again she starts again. This can go on for as long as I let it, she never goes back down, unless I rock her moses basket then she might do for a bit. On Monday she goes into her cot so there will be no rocking then, there has to be a way of getting her to nap longer! Have tried wake to sleep every day but with no success.

It's so frustrating isn't it? I must go back and read the nap section again but there didn't seem to be a huge amount of advice on how to extend naps - I've also found that trying to resettle him is not successful. I do wonder whether there is a developmental component to being able to take longer naps during the day. I know I'm not very consistent with naps though as if we've had two short naps I tend to bring him out in the pram as I know he will have a long nap then - whereas I know I 'should' just put him down in the cot again. I don't want him to get overtired though. I also like bringing him out in the pram because it means we both get some fresh air and I get a bit of exercise.

Would love to know if there are any other strategies for extending short naps though. Has anyone got the 'no-cry nap solution' book? I am very tempted to get it to see if there is anything useful in it - but I already have quite a library of sleep books so am reluctant to buy yet another one!

 

[Cattia]

Yes, I could not find anything really specific on extending naps. I was just thinking today that maybe they need to 'grow into' longer naps but on the other hand I am not sure she would ever have gornw into earlier bedtimes if we had not pushed the issue, so I just don't know. Maybe I need to get her up after a nap, give her ten minutes of awake time then put her down again so she is duped into taking back to back naps?

 

[flowers04]

Hi all

i'm glad i've read everyones threads - its cheered me up a bit

naps are not going well for anyone at the mo - i think dd was just teasing me this week as she had been napping so well and then from yesterday afternoon she went back to 30min naps - oh well

we had another rubbish night last night -2.5 hours of crying - we just couldn't settle her

i think i am going to have a break from sleepsense for a while then pick it up again - im finding it too stressful, i feel like im just leaving her to cio - even though im in the room with her she doesn't feel comforted at all.

Tongiht we just had 45 mins of crying after sleeping for an hour - tried calming without picking up but her crying just got worse and worse, i had to pick her up in the end, held her for a while then put her back down and she was okay - i just don't know what to do anymore - her crying is increasing night after night rather than decreasing

my oh is off for a week in a couple of weeks time so i think im gonna put it on hold until then - when we do try again i think i'll have to go with the leave the room method as staying in the room seems to make her worse

thanks everyone for your support - i hope napping improves for you all - i'll still be stalking this thread and ill be back soon

 

[jacs]

You absolutely know best flowers, I hope you and LO can get a good sleep soon!
You're right, not every method will work for every baby, so you've just got to try different stuff out. I think it's very sensible to hang on until you've got plenty of back-up as well!
Please stay in touch on here, hope you're back soon!
xx

 

[polaris]

You absolutely know best flowers, I hope you and LO can get a good sleep soon!
You're right, not every method will work for every baby, so you've just got to try different stuff out. I think it's very sensible to hang on until you've got plenty of back-up as well!
Please stay in touch on here, hope you're back soon!
xx

And maybe the timing isn't quite right for her at the moment for some reason? Maybe in a couple of weeks when you come back to it she will be a bit more settled in herself and things will be easier. Good idea to tackle it when you have your OH for back up. Stay in touch on the thread though!

 

[jacs]

omg, please let Evan be a good napper today!

I was up most of the night just not feeling 'right'. Not one thing in particular, and could not sleep.
Went to bed at 3am, and DH was snoring his head off, so went to sleep on Evan's floor. Sooo uncomfortable, but got to sleep. Then, he woke up at 6am!! Of all the days to have an early wake-up!
Even when he was a newborn I got more sleep than this, is there a sleep sense for mummies?!

 

[polaris]

Yes, I could not find anything really specific on extending naps. I was just thinking today that maybe they need to 'grow into' longer naps but on the other hand I am not sure she would ever have gornw into earlier bedtimes if we had not pushed the issue, so I just don't know. Maybe I need to get her up after a nap, give her ten minutes of awake time then put her down again so she is duped into taking back to back naps?

Yeah it's so hard to know what to do for the best isn't it? The only way that I have found to reliably extend a nap is getting him up and putting him straight into the pram and going out for a walk - I have done this a couple of times when I really wanted him to get a proper sleep e.g. before swimming. But it's clearly a sleep prop and not always practical! He has managed to settle back to sleep about twice when he has woken from a nap and I haven't gone up to him - on those occasions he wasn't actually crying just moaning and grizzling a bit - I was amazed when he went back to sleep but it hasn't turned into a habit unfortunately!