Sleep Sense Support Group!

[hivechild]

Ooh sounds good! (the movie, not the rough night). I loved Avatar in 3D, but had a shocking headache after.
What time is it where you are? Just wondering about the time difference. x

It was good! It was fun and because we went on a week day first thing in the morning, it was just me, Ronan and my friend in the theater so no pressure if the monkey made a fuss (I ended up having to feed him). It was great (I loved Avatar, too).

As I'm writing this, it's 10:15pm (Eastern Daylight Savings Time), so I believe I'm 5 hours behind the rest of you in the UK.

Anyway, now that I've got a little bit of time, this was my night last night:

6:40ishpm: Ronan wakes up, I feed him, shovel down my own dinner, take hi up for a bath, top up feed etc. and have him in bed and he's asleep by 8:25pm without any fussing.

10ish: Hubby and I go to bed and as we're chatting, I say 'I can't wait for the day when he wakes up, smacks his lips and realizes he's not that hungry and goes back to sleep.'

Hubby agrees and by 10:30 is fast asleep while I'm still awake. I figure the monkey will wake close to 12 so I might get a short nap in before he stirs...

11:30pm: I'm still awake and I hear the monkey wail and think, 'ah, here we go.' A few seconds later, all is silent so I lie there with ear cocked waiting to hear him stir again.

12:10: I hear some grumbling for a minute and think, 'ok, now here we go,' but no...all goes silent again.

I lie there until after 1am caught between trying to drift off and keeping an ear out for him to wake again.

1:30: Just as I start to drift off, he wakes again and is a bit more vocal. I get up after a few minutes and decide to pop to the loo before going in to feed him. As I am about to leave the bathroom, I can hear him sucking furiously on his fist and he's stopped crying. I think he must realllly be hungry, but no, he falls asleep again by 1:35!

I creep back to bed, sure that he'll wake again soon. I still can't sleep!

2:30: He wakes again and I figure ok, he's got to really be hungry now so I'm just going to get up and feed him so that I can actually get some kip as I'm feeling a bit wrecked by now.

3:00: I put him back down. He's not really sleepy but he's not fussing so I can hear him on and off for the next half hour as I'm trying to settle myself to sleep.

I think I may have drifted off for 10-15 minutes before I hear the dog getting sick in his crate. So I'm up again, checking he's ok and then cleaning up the mess and then crawling back into bed.

I manage to fall asleep around 4:30am and sleep until the monkey wakes again around 6:30. I give him another feed and put him back in his crib, hopeful that he'll give me a few more hours (yeah, right!) and around 7:30, I kick my husband out of bed (for work) and crawl back in to doze for another hour before I hear the monkey awake, but quite happily just hanging out in his crib cooing away. I give up on more sleep at this point and go shower and have breakfast before getting Ronan out of his crib and 'up' for the day!

Soooo...moral of the story is careful what you wish for! If I'd known him settling himself back to sleep would mean I got none, I'm not sure I'd have hoped for it quite so fervently. That being said, most of the time he settled fast enough (if noisily) that I really didn't have a chance to get up and go in to feed him!

He had a bit of a tantrum going down for bed tonight so we'll see how he goes through the rest of the night now.

 

[Bumpontherun]

Hi ladies, didn't manage a bedtime update as we had guests for dinner.

Naps were tricky today- 1st nap took 18 mins of crying. I tried long ssshh and rubbing tummy, head but no impact. Am actually considering leaving the room tomorrow to see if it helps. Anyway morning nap lasted 50 mins, this is the 2nd day in a row it's been over 30 so will persevere. Lunchtime nap again 18 mins of crying, les hysterical though. It's so frustrating.... She does her mantra cry- sleeps for a few secs then suddenly seems to remember she was crying and starts wailing again! Lunchtime nap was only 30 mins. She was in terrible form on waking and I was shattered too so I let her sleep on me. I feel a bit guilty but she was so happy for the rest of the day.

Bedtime was fine, five mins of moaning and asleep. Again not a great feed dropping off on the boob. I tried to sneak in an extra pre bath fred but she wasn't interested. Hence feeding her now! She is definitely hungry.

Cattia and TG - I see you still do a night feed, are you worried about this or do you think your LO's will drop it when they're ready? Ours had Bern at 3am both nights so a wee bit worried it's habitual but not keen to leave her in case she really needs it, she certainly seems hungry.

Foogirl- how long did it take to see an improvement in nap length? Did your wee one cry for this long at the beginning, I have to say I really struggle with 18 mins of distressed crying for a 30 min nap, cross with myself for inconsistency today though.

Debate got political at the dinner table today, I had little to add though, baby brain prevents me from understanding what's going on!

Poppy how's your night going?

Sorry for any typos, on iPhone!

Right feed done and LO back in cot. No crying yet but no sleeping either, I don't mind the night feeds but wish she'd settle quickly after them.

 

[TennisGal]

Hive Child - I know exactly what you mean...the lying there, wide awake, thinking 'surely this will be feed time' Hope you had a better nights sleep The dog being sick must have been the final sleep straw! Must say, if that's your dog in your avatar, he's a fine fellow.

Bump - bedtimes are going well! It WILL improve with the settling post night feeds, I promise...we noticed a real improvement with those as she settled more and more into settling herself. Your naps sound like mine - I let DD nap on me, as I knew a nap was better than no nap. Eventually we got it so we could interchange them on me and in her cot. Mantra-crying! DD does that 'what was I doing? I know - shouting!!!'

Regarding the night feed - I go with DD at the moment. We've cut down to just one (although she slept through last night), as when she wakes for it, she seems really hungry. As she eats more and more solid during the day, and as long as she is having good BFs, we'll see how it goes in a few weeks. I think waking once during the night is fine at the mo - especially if our LOs are hungry for the feed.

Hope you had a good dinner party...we've a lunch party on Saturday, and I think it will be a political one

V.cute avatar pic, btw.

Well, ladies, DD slept through last night! Almost TWELVE hours!! I - consequently - was wondering why she wasn't feeding a good few times. Question...when she woke up, I was very engorged. DD had a moderate feed, I offered again (as was still engorged) but she'd had enough...so, I expressed. Around 4oz. Does that mean she hadn't had a decent feed? Bit perplexed, as she then had 4 cubes of fruit mixed with rice and 1oz of EBM!! Hmmm. What do you think?

Still, we're all fresh as a daisy...up at 06:30, we all had brekkie together, and I've just blitzed the house jobs.

 

[polo_princess]

Morning Ladies

So tonights the big night for us ... im so excited to get started with this, which sounds promising eh?

TG how long had your LO been on just one night feed? Maybe she just wasnt feeling particularly hungry last night, or it could be a sign that she's beginning to phase her night feed out altogether .. see how you go tonight!! And well done for 12 hours sleep .. im SO jealous I think we got 7 hours of broken sleep

 

[jacs]

Nice one TG! A whole night - well done mini TG!
Even though Evan is sleeping through now, he still isn't really interested in a bottle until he's been up an hour or so - sometimes not until he's going down for his first nap. However, like DD, he never has any problem with breakfast!
See how today goes, she'll probably catch up by bed-time.

Bump - you're doing great, and to stick at it is absolutely the best way to help LO learn what to do. It's hard work, but it sounds like you're determined! Sometimes Evan falls asleep with his bottle - I don't stress too much, as it's not the norm, so he definitely knows how to go to sleep himself.

Hivechild - what a night! It reminds me of when we put Evan in his cot for the first time - I barely slept for about 3 nights because I was listening so intently for any little sound (of course, he was fine and couldn't have cared less that he was on his own!). Hope he's had another long sleep!
Glad the film was good. Odeon do screenings for babies, but it's always really busy - even though it's a baby group, I still can't stand lots of noise at the cinema!

We had another great night - if Evan manages tonight, it will be a whole week of sleeping through.
Am I pushing my luck by saying I want to work on the 6am wake-ups?! I would never go and actually get him up before 6am, but sometimes he's awake at 5.40am, talking to himself!
I've tried earlier/later bed-times, and SS to resettle (only once though), but he is just wide awake - laughing, rolling etc. Should I just accept it?

 

[hivechild]

TG, thank you, yes that is Bailey in my avatar with me. He's my first baby and such a good big brother to Ronan! Glad to hear your nights have gotten so much better so quickly after having such a rough go of it with her growth spurt.

Jacs, the theater I went to does the baby pictures too, but the movie they were showing this time I didn't want to see (the Backup Plan) so I decided screw it, I would go see a movie I wanted to see. It really turned out to be a great idea because no one else at all wanted to see it at 11am on a Thursday morning, apparently. I think I am going to have to do it more often going forward.

I'm not sure if you can get Evan sleeping later but it's worth a try! If Ronan wakes around 6, I tend to treat it like a night time waking, but if it's closer to 7 and he's not upset, I leave him in his crib until at least 7 before I go in and start the whole good morning sunshine routine. I usually leave him as long as I can get away with if he's just being chirpy.

Well, after Ronan's tantrum going down for the night, the rest of it went quite well! He fell asleep just shortly after 9 (took 50 mins for him to settle) and slept through until 2:10 when he wailed for a few seconds (just long enough to wake mummy) and then fell asleep again until 2:50.

I left him for another 15 minutes as he was just moany whinging, until hubby told me to just go see to him. It had been about 7 hours since his last feed so not bad! I fed him and put him back in his crib at 3:45 and he slept through until 6:50 or so.

We're on the couch now and he just fell asleep for a nap lying next to, instead of on me, so progress there too! We will see how long he stays asleep for. Even a 40 minute nap on his own would be nice!

 

[Arcanegirl]

Jacs, i think i wold accept it if its really not too early for you
We had a phase of Alex waking at 7am, we accepted it and rode it out and he went back to his 8am wakeup again.

Random qu but does anyone blank themselves from the crying?
Im finding i still cant bear listening to Alex so i will shut myself away in the kitchen and even turn the monitor away where i cant see it, i just check on it once in a while.

 

[hivechild]

I do sometimes AG if it's just whinging/trying to settle himself. If hubby is awake I have him sit in, or watch the monitor and go downstairs or take a long shower or a bath just to wind down. I trust DH to calm and soothe the monkey as responsively as I would, and just as well (minus the absolute failsafe when he's inconsolable of putting him to the boob of course).

I tell myself that it's not just for my sanity to hand it off, but it's also good for DH and Ronan to know the drill and be comfortable and familiar with each other too.

 

[polo_princess]

AG i have to do that too, i turn the volume right down on the monitor for 2 or 3 minutes and turn the tv up a little, the noise itself just drives me insane

 

[Poppy7]

Hi everyone,

Had a busy few days so sorry for being rubbish with updates.

Last night I put Elliott to bed and he settled straight away. He then stirred at 9.20 and 11.30. He cried a lot both of these times so I went up, put his dummy in and had to put his music on. This worked and he went to sleep again. He then woke at 2.15am so I fed him (he took a good feed and then I put him down awake. He went to sleep fine. He then woke at 4.45am and again, I put his dummy in and music on and he went to sleep. He then woke at 6.15 and took a good feed again.

I still feel that ditching the dummy would make things 10 tines better but I can't do it on my own. OH is back tonight so I'll discuss it with him and go from there.

Just put Elliott to bed and he was out like a light! Let's see what to tonight brings!

Polo Princess...good luck tonight

 

[Arcanegirl]

Ditching the dummy was one of the first things we did when we started controlled crying at 7.5 months. The number of times Alex woke for it was getting silly!

Good luck Holly

 

[history_girls]

Evening all - just a quickie before the chinese arrives (yum yum).

Polo - good luck for tonight! Hopefully she will manage only a short time of crying!

TG - Congrats on the sleep through!! You musn't know what to do with yourself on all that sleep! I used to lie awake waiting for her to wake!

LO went to bed like a dream. She has been waking a little bit too much for my liking in the night and taking a while to settle. I'm putting it down to cold and change in life of going to CM.

Right I think that is my chinese now....

 

[Foogirl]

Foogirl- how long did it take to see an improvement in nap length? Did your wee one cry for this long at the beginning, I have to say I really struggle with 18 mins of distressed crying for a 30 min nap, cross with myself for inconsistency today though.

The length took quite a while - probably 6 weeks to a couple of months, but the crying at nap time got less and less. Within a couple of weeks she was only crying for about 5 minutes at most naps and within the month there was none at all. But even though it took a while to get a nap to an hour and a half, she was happy enough if she woke, to lie and entertain herself then settle herself back down if she needed to. Even now, I have her in the cot for an hour and a half - it's up to her how much of that she is actually asleep for.

 

[Poppy7]

Ditching the dummy was one of the first things we did when we started controlled crying at 7.5 months. The number of times Alex woke for it was getting silly!

Good luck Holly

It's so strange AG as some nights he doesn't bother with it at all!! I just know that when it comes to taking it away we are going to get a lot of tears....

 

[Bumpontherun]

Foogirl- how long did it take to see an improvement in nap length? Did your wee one cry for this long at the beginning, I have to say I really struggle with 18 mins of distressed crying for a 30 min nap, cross with myself for inconsistency today though.

The length took quite a while - probably 6 weeks to a couple of months, but the crying at nap time got less and less. Within a couple of weeks she was only crying for about 5 minutes at most naps and within the month there was none at all. But even though it took a while to get a nap to an hour and a half, she was happy enough if she woke, to lie and entertain herself then settle herself back down if she needed to. Even now, I have her in the cot for an hour and a half - it's up to her how much of that she is actually asleep for.

Thanks for that. My problem is that she wakes up really distressed so I can't resettle her and often she is still cranky on waking but today was only day 4......

Polo Princess - lots of luck for tonight, be strong our first night was soooooooo hard but we are already seeing results and I think we're doing the right thing

Tennisgal - congrats on another nights sleep, I would like Helen to end up like your wee one able to nap on me or in her cot. It is handy when we're out and about that she drops off on the boob anywhere and never really cries.

Jacs - I'm jealous of your whole night of sleep too, your success stories keep me going though

Poppy - Good luck with ditching the dummy. I know how you feel, my boob is Helen's dummy and I have truly hated myself at times over the last 4 days.

Today has been a mixed day really. We've had 3 naps in the cot - sadly all bang on 30 mins (I swear she has an alarm clock in there) She's settled in around 10 mins for each of them and the crying is definitely different now, more whinging with sobs and occasional quiet spells rather than full blown crying and screaming. It doesn't affect me so much, the first couple of days she was doing the crying that made me want to go in another room and put the TV on!!

She took a good feed before bed tonight even though she was obviously tired but she was whimpering in my arms before I put her down and then cried off and on for 15 mins which is a bit of a set back, I wonder if it was wind/sore tummy.... something else, not sure. I wonder how long she'll sleep tonight, she settled in about 25 mins after last nights 3am feed (not really crying just grumping) so I don't mind if she wakes up then, I actually prefer a night feed and a 6:30 wake up to sleeping through but up for the day at 5:30

Thanks again for all the help an sorry if I forget to thank anyone. I love having you guys to talk to. MIL really annoyed me today by saying things like 'oh poor Helen, does your mummy leave you to cry, poor baby' etc etc, I already feel terrible, really don't need anyone to make me feel worse.

 

[polo_princess]

Looks like their must be something in the water if all of the LO's went down easily tonight eh?

Brooke went down with a big fuss, but no tears!! Took about an hour to get her to go to sleep, i did the first 20 mins and she just fussed around but she was laying down, she got up a few times but i laid her back down and said its time for sleep. OH swapped with me and thats when the trouble began, she's a real daddys girl and kept getting up and shouting "daddy, daddy" and holding her arms out, he wouldnt pick her up so she threw a massive tantrum and started throwing everything around in her cot, throwing pillows, kicking the sides and pulling the sheets up She eventually went off by herself though so it wasnt too bad

Im not hugely worried about the going to bed part, its the middle of the night bits that are going to prove troublesome i think

 

[Arcanegirl]

Stay strong

 

[Poppy7]

Bump...our naps are generally 30 minutes long as well However the amazing day that I got him to settle without a dummy (and without tears) he slept for 1 hour and 20 minutes. He was so much more refreshed when he woke up!

Wow, Polo...you're little girl is spirited well done for perservering though! Good luck for tonight. I know the middle of the night calls can be so hard so I hope they are okay for you.xx

 

[TennisGal]

Bump it's so hard when our LOs are crying...but the whinging cry is a good sign, I think...DD nomally makes that noise when she's tired and ready for a sleep. When I found it hard, I'd just remember we were teaching her a fab skill and it was safer way forward for all of us...AND DD is a much happier bunny with better quality sleep. When she's sleeping beautifully, your MIL will see how it all fits in place

Poppy - let us know how tonight goes! DD didn't take to a dummy...she always has her thumb. Go with what makes you feel comfortable

Polo - I hope you have a good night! Fingers crossed!!

HG - we had chinese too!! Yummy! Hope Phoebe has a good night, am sure she will settle down once over her cold and used to her routine...she's a little star.

Jacs - Evan is doing SO well!! How brilliant!

AG, HC - hope you have good nights!

Hope all are well, and everyone has a fab night!!

 

[Poppy7]

Going up to see LO now for the second time since putting him to bed (only 2 hours ago)...