Sleep Sense Support Group!

[Cattia]

Hi all,

Poppy, hope you can manage to re-settle LO, sometimes they just seem to wake up a lot for no reason, very frustrating!

Polo- good luck for tonight. Hope all goes well!

Bump - can't believe your MIL said that! As TG said though, she will soon eat her words when your LO is settling with no tears

Jacs and TG - fab sleeping from your LOs - you are inspiring the rest of us! Haven't seen Polaris around for a while, anyone know where she is?

HG - end of the week for you! HOOOOOORAY! I hope you've left all your making at work.

Well we had a good morning, two naps in the cot with no crying. We were then out for lunch and Abigail napped for about an hour and a half in her buggy which is waaaay longer than her normal naps! She woke up at about 3.30 though which made for a pear shaped late afternoon as she started to get tired about 5, but when I put her down I think she was over tired as she screamed properly, I didn't feel there was time to settle her as by the time she's gone to sleep it would have been bedtime! So I put her in her pushcair, reclined the seat and took her on our favoutite little uplifting stroll around the cemetery! It is quiet and 2 minutes down the road so we often end up there. She didn't sleep though, but when we got home at 5.30 I managed to keep her amused by reading her the same book three times and she went down to bed with no problem! Let's hope she sleeps well, last night she woke up at 11.30 and I am ashamed to say I fed her straight away in the hope that she would then sleep through (which she didn't).

Hope everyone has a good evening. xx

 

[TennisGal]

Cattia - hope you have a good night! I know what you mean, when our LOs nap at 'odd times', it can really throw me! I've frequently been sending DD telepathic vibes along the lines of 'please wake up now, or you're going to get really grumpy about two hours before bedtime'. She tends to ignore me!

Polaris mentioned on here a few days back that she and Thomas had a cold - hopefully they are both feeling lots better.

 

[TennisGal]

Quick update - DD slept through again

 

[Poppy7]

Quick update - DD slept through again

Fantastic news honey

I was up 7 times I fed DS on 2 of the occasions but didn't pick him up on the other 5....one occurence at 3.20am took about 40 minutes to settle him down.

I am so tired. What am I doing wrong? I feel like such a failure

 

[TennisGal]

You're not a failure at all! You're a lovely Mummy!

Do you think he could be mid growth-spurt? How is he feeding during the day?

He's doing very well - it's early days - it will, will get better

 

[Bumpontherun]

Quick update - DD slept through again

Fantastic news honey

I was up 7 times I fed DS on 2 of the occasions but didn't pick him up on the other 5....one occurence at 3.20am took about 40 minutes to settle him down.

I am so tired. What am I doing wrong? I feel like such a failure

Oh poppy poor you you are not a failure. This program is not easy. What did you do with the dummy last night?

We had a wee set back last night about 15 mins of moderate crying before she dropped off and then she woke up about 30 mins later. DH sat with her for 10 mins and she dropped off. Slept til 4:15 when I fed her. Back to sleep by 5 and up at 6:45.

I'm now sitting by her for 1st nap. Had 5 mins of crying so far, my parents are here now. Luckily they are more supportive than MIL.

TG-

 

[polo_princess]

Well done TG

Poppy they do hit a growth sprut around 6 months if i remember right? It could be that that's making him a bit unsettled

Well ..... Brooke stayed in her own bed all night

For a first night at this it really wasnt that rough, i dont know if it should have been that easy?

She slept through untl 4.20am (longest she has done for almost a year ) and then we took it in turns to sit with her and it took her an hour to get back to sleep, and when i woke up to go to work at 7.30am she was still asleep in her cot and she hadnt had a bottle of water/juice either which she usually has!!

So all in all im dead pleased and so is OH, and we arent too tired either as the sleep that we did get was mainly unbroken and more importantly it was comfy

Roll on night 2 ... i bet this one is going to be bad isnt it?

 

[jacs]

Quick update - DD slept through again

Fantastic news honey

I was up 7 times I fed DS on 2 of the occasions but didn't pick him up on the other 5....one occurence at 3.20am took about 40 minutes to settle him down.

I am so tired. What am I doing wrong? I feel like such a failure

No, no , no! You are doing brilliantly! It can take a little while for LOs to realise that this is the 'new way'.
When you go up, do you do the same thing every time to resettle? You are being very strong, not picking up unless you need to, and that means you are setting a pattern - soon she will realise that the outcome is always the same (no pick up), so she may as well sleep!
Ignore your MIL (easier said than done, I know!). I hate it when people use LO to talk to you.

TG - omg! Fabulous, what great news. Did you sleep any easier last night, without listening out so much?

Poppy - how did the rest of your night go?

Cattia - laughing at your 'uplifting stroll around the cemetery'! Sounds like naps are going well. I think we've all been there with feeding to get a full night's sleep. Just the other day I did a dream feed because Evan wouldn't have his bottle at bed-time (he only has 3 now, so I didn't want to just leave him for the night).

PP - how was the rest of your night?

Well, we had the same again - slept through, then up at 6am on the dot! I'm so proud of him.
We never, ever thought he could do this, the change in his sleeping habits is so drastic. If anyone is doubting what they are doing, please stick with it!


EDIT - sorry PP, that crossed with my post. Well done! It's almost unreal how quickly this works, especially when the book seems just like common sense at first.
Bet tonight will be even better!

 

[Cattia]

Wow, some great nights people! Well done TG! Do you feel like a diferent woman? Or were you awake half the night wondering when DD would want feeding lol!

Polo - what a brilliant start! Hopefully as your LO is a bit older she will pick up the changes quickly. I bet you couldn't believe it was happening!

Bump - sounds like things are really improving for you too! Naps always take a little longer and there are always setbacks but what an improvement! Nice to have the support of your parents as well.

Poppy - it is hard when you have a difficult night and you must be shattered! I agree with what the others said, LO is probably trying to adjust to the change and maybe wondering if he keeps using his old techniques whether you will revert to yours! I am sure that all the settling you did in the night has really helped him and all the time you are teaching him new ways of doing things. He'll learn that he doesn't need to be fed every time he wakes up.

Well, having said that, we had a rather rubbish night ourselves! She went down fine as always, then woke at 12.30. Now my real issue here is knowing when to feed and when not to. I figured that since it had been 6 hours since her last feed she would be hungry (even though she often won't wake until 1 or 2am). I therefore fed her and she settled back down.

She then woke at 3.30, and to be honest that's when I think I should have re-settled her. However because it had been three hours I got unsure of myself through my sleepy fog brain and decided to just feed her. She then woke again at 5.40 so I tried to re-settle her but she winged for about half an hour so I fed her again

She went back down until 7 and has just had her first nap with a bit more winging than normal.

I am pretty sure she is teething which makes me feel worse in the night as when she wakes up I worry that she is in pain. However she always settles right back down after a feed so if she was in pain then surely she would keep crying? So I am thinking I need to feed her the first time she wakes up and have more of a go at settling her again the next time. I think I will read the SS stuff again as I have kind of got into a pattern of feeding her at night when she's only been waking once.

Well, we are off shopping today so we ought to get some naps in the pushchair. We will be back for the afternoon nap so we'll hope for success on that one. What have you all got planned for the bank holiday?

 

[polo_princess]

Thats great Jacs well done on another good night

Cattia, whats your usual feeding schedule for Abigail? Every 6 hours or are you still kind of on demand? Try to stick to it during the night as much as you can if possible, if she's teething she may want to feed as it "cools" her mouth down iykwim, when she isnt actually hungry

Oh gosh, im so glad my days of worrying about feeds are gone, Brooke had 1 bottle before bed and 1 when she gets up and im beginning to phase that one out too!! I think she's the oldest on in here at 16 months isnt she?

I was extremely suprised how well it went last night, i feel pretty refreshed even though i was awake for an hour

 

[Arcanegirl]

I think Brooke is the oldest yea
Ooohh last night was terrible for us, no idea what was up but alex kept waking up all night!
Thankfully we didnt need to go into him as he did settle himself each time, but of course everyone woke when he did and we'd lie awake untill hed gone to sleep again.

 

[polo_princess]

I hate it when that happens AG

When you are in with your LO just sitting with them waiting to settle, what do you do to stop yourself from either falling asleep in the chair or dying of boredom?

Im not someone who can just sit there and do nothing!!

 

[Arcanegirl]

Iphone!
I dont sit in, but when im giving Alex his last bottle i take my ipod or phone in and keep occupied

 

[Mindz11]

Hi everyone, I am new to this thread

I used to come on B&B a lot when trying to fall pregnant and now i find myself on here for a whole different reason!
My DS is just 10 weeks and has taken to catnapping in the day, it is really exhausting as after 40-50mins he is awake and crying and i feel like my day is filled with resettling him
I knew I had to get him to self settle (I had him doing this at 3 weeks but he got sick so I never wanted him to cry and always fed/cuddled/rocked him to sleep and I think he got so used to it) so I took it upon myself this week to begin. For the last week or 2 he has been sleeping great at night, going down at about 7 feeding once or twice max overnight and waking between 7-8 (started out at 6 when DH went to work but now he stays asleep) 2 nights in a row he did 7.5 hours straight! So nights arent my issue its the days, he self settles every sleep with no more than 5 mins crying and usually its only 1-2 mins. I just thought that once he self settles he would be able to resettle but this hasnt been the case, and i know he can do it bcoz the 1st day i started he took a 2 hr nap without any help from me but every nap since has just been 50mins max and he wakes up so cranky and i know he needs more sleep. I feel like I have tried everything and I am going out of my mind. We are booked in for a day stay at sleep school but its not for another 4 weeks.

So I just wanted to know what people are doing for naps? are you trying to resettle after they wake and how long do you try?
Ive noticed some people have said that naps can take longer to improve, how long should I expect to see an improvement?

TIA

Mandy

 

[Arcanegirl]

I think i need some reassurance on whats okay with leaving Alex re crying.

Sometimes were waiting at the 10 min mark or even past it, he will do a cry outburst then silence for a min, then another cry. Is that okay to leave him be, even past the 10 mins?
And also, if hes not crying but just making noises, am i okay to leave him then? I guess im seeing it as quiet time even if he doesnt sleep, though hes doing this just now and he is definatley tired!

 

[hivechild]

Wow. Seems like last night was a mixed bag for everyone!

Glad to hear your first night went so well PP. It really is amazing how quickly it can click for them.

Poppy, don't beat yourself up. There will always be good nights and bad nights.

Cattia, doesn't sound like you had a very good night of things either. Don't doubt yourself too much. You can't overfeed her and if one night you do and she doesn't take much, you can try again the next night to hold out a bit longer. I hope the day and naps go better for you!

Mindz11, sorry I can't help with naps. I still cheat with naps and cuddle with him while he is still small enough for me to cuddle!

AG, I just leave Ronan be if he's just making noise or moaning or whinging. I'm not sure how long I could leave him if he were crying properly though as we use pick up/put down with the monkey being so young. Hopefully your LO decides he's had enough of the crying altogether soon!

As for our night last night, I think it went really well! I thought it was going to go all pear shaped when he had a visit from his grandma early evening that he was awake for but I managed to get him down for a short, late nap.

After he woke from that, we skipped his bath, he had a big feed and went straight down to sleep by 9:30 without any fuss! He slept until 2:10, stirred and cried out before falling straight back to sleep until almost 4am.

I fed him and then he went right to sleep again until 7:30 when he woke me with his shouty squealy 'hello, it's morning and time to get up' routine. How can I be cranky when he gives me a great big smile when I go in to say good morning?!

Anyway, we celebrated a good night's sleep by going for a nice walk with Bailey (the dog) to go and get coffee and bagels to bring back for daddy for breakfast.

 

[polo_princess]

AG if he's "calm" but making noises then i'd leave him

Sounds like a great night for you too HC!!

How long have you guys all been following this?

 

[Poppy7]

Thanks everyone

I guess this morning I was so tired and disappointed after I though we were making progress.

He is still having his dummy. He gets too upset without it. So now I guess he needs that in the middle of the night instead of me...

He could possibly be having a growth spurt. Since being poorly he has gone back to feeding like a newborn during the day and in the lady 2 days his feeding sessions have sometimes been longer. He could also be teething....

Maybe my downfall is that I'm responding too quickly to his crys? The problem is I can't leave him to cry. Otherwise I feel like we are doing glorified CC/CIO but the only difference is I'm with him in the room whilst he's doing it

Does anyone have a magic sleep/nap wand please?xx

 

[Bumpontherun]

Poppy I totally hear what you're saying about glorified CIO, we've had a hideous day and I'm expecting a hideous night. Begining to doubt myself and the program

 

[jacs]

Thanks everyone

I guess this morning I was so tired and disappointed after I though we were making progress.

He is still having his dummy. He gets too upset without it. So now I guess he needs that in the middle of the night instead of me...

He could possibly be having a growth spurt. Since being poorly he has gone back to feeding like a newborn during the day and in the lady 2 days his feeding sessions have sometimes been longer. He could also be teething....

Maybe my downfall is that I'm responding too quickly to his crys? The problem is I can't leave him to cry. Otherwise I feel like we are doing glorified CC/CIO but the only difference is I'm with him in the room whilst he's doing it

Does anyone have a magic sleep/nap wand please?xx

Aw, it's so frustrating - if only they could tell you what they want!
If he's waking for the dummy, then that could be a lot of the problem. Do you feel brave enough to swap it for a blankie? Evan is a fab sleeper now, but he wouldn't be if he didn't have blankie to suck and cuddle. We forgot it a while ago at my mum's house, and there was no way he would nap. Eventually he settled with a face-cloth!
Try not to think of CC/CIO as being that similar to SS - there is no way you are abandoning LO. If you jump in too fast you could be interrupting his wind-down, and prolonging his awake time (even though you are just trying to comfort him!). At this stage, yes, he will cry, but you can shorten the time he will cry by letting him figure it out. That way he'll learn quicker what to do next time he goes to bed. You can be there, but try to hold back unless he REALLY needs you. It's so hard, I know!
That said, you're mummy and you know best. If you think he's unwell or needs a feed, do whatever you need to!

HC - sounds great, especially since you had company - that always throws our naps. I wish someone would bring me coffee and bagels!

AG - When Evan's doing his short cry/long pause, I know he's falling into his next sleep, so I just leave him. If he's still going after 5mins, I know something's up, and it's usually his nappy! Generally he doesn't cry, so if he ever was to do 'real crying' I'd be in there like a shot! Any shouty/whingey noises get ignored, unless he's had a long nap, so I know he's ready to get up.

Mandy - it sounds like you're already doing brilliantly! I usually leave Evan a little while when he wakes for a nap, to see if he'll go to sleep again. If he's not crying, I wait about 15mins. If he has a short nap, his next awake time is shortened - I don't know about other babies, but there is no point trying to resettle Evan for naps, when he's up, he's up!