Sleepless Nights Support Thread

[kittylady]

Hi ladies

My little one cries and wakes during the night. I know shes only 9days old but with people visiting during the day and the fact I cant sleep unless shes near me, not only because I breastfeed on demand but because I'm paranoid and just cant sleep unless shes there. So I had no sleep during the day yesterday, she was awake most of the night the night before and I got to last night and she wouldn't stop demanding to be breastfed from 12am on, at 2:30 it got too much as I have hardly slept at all since giving birth, less than 10 hours since labour. So I turned away from her and cried, my husband fortunatly heard her and came up and tried to settle her whilst I got it out of my system but I feel like a terrible mum today, and whats worse is she was vomiting and had diarrhea all moring and I ended up going to A&E so she was probably ill last night and I didn't realise. We're home now but I feel like such a crap mum

 

[AC1987]

my 3 day old baby will not stop crying at night. Even after everything is done with her.. she just cries and cries. Unless I hold her... is this normal??

 

[katrinalorien]

Is there a time when I will sleep again?

 

[AngelUK]

The first three months are really tough though some mums report that their babies start sleeping really well as early as 6 weeks. But then again there is no guarantee. My bigger twin wakes every hour for his dummy and of course then so am I. Sending all you new deadly tired mums loads of . It will get better! xx

 

[stardust599]

Ladies with new babies. Yes it's normal and it does get better I promise. You should -

Use a tight swaddle even if LO seems to hate it
White noise - download a free app on your phone or put on a loud whirring fan. Or buy something like the slumber bear with womb noises

If breastfeeding when LO seems finished take LO off and change nappy if necessary then swaddle very tightly and if LO is restless offer the boob again but don't take off the swaddle etc. If bottle feeding offer a dummy. Then put LO into a nice warm moses basket with white noise playing. It may take perseverance but it will work. Make sure you get lots of help.

I posted lots in here about my LO never sleeping and he's 5 weeks today and beginning to settle quite well at night. As long as he isn't bothered by wind or reflux he is an excellent night time sleeper and he was horrific as a newborn.

 

[lysh]

kittylady- I have had days where I felt terrible too because I would get so frustrated during the night with my LO. Breaking down is normal....as a woman we just had to go through a birthing experience and trying to recover, our hormones are once again going through change, for first time moms we are faced with the overwhelming feelings of being in charge of a newborn, if BFing that is a whole other ballgame to get adjusted too and to top it off....we are trying to adjust and do ALL of this while sleep deprived. Do not beat yourself up, a case of baby blues is normal. If it gets worse and does not go away, then we need to reach out for help.

Katrina- I hope so, I am wondering the same thing lol.

AC- my newborn was like that. Finally at 3 1/2 weeks I am able to get her down and out of my arms during the day for a bit. Nightime is still a battle.

Speaking of sleepless nights, my DD finally decided to go to sleep at 5am after an all-nighter of fussiness. Of course I am now so overtired and on edge waiting for the next crying fit that I cannot sleep myself. My DH does not get that part....it seems that when I finally put my head on a pillow and start to doze off LO cries. After going through that over and over again, it is no wonder it is hard to nap when she naps.....I put my head down and I am so tense waiting for the crying to begin. He keeps saying...you need to sleep when she sleeps (easier said than done). So here I am....now 5:20 and she is sleeping on my chest since if I put her down it will be another battle to soothe her all over again. I am too exhausted for that battle right now. I probably should try to nap....hopefully there will be some success.

 

[Noelle610]

my 3 day old baby will not stop crying at night. Even after everything is done with her.. she just cries and cries. Unless I hold her... is this normal??

Yes, totally normal Do you have the book, "The Happiest Baby on the Block"? If not, I recommend you go get the DVD since I'm sure you're too tired to read right now. It has great soothing techniques for newborns.

Definitely swaddle (I highly recommend the miracle blanket - it's like a baby straight jacket). Also do you have a swing? My LO loved that in the early days when she couldn't settle.

 

[Noelle610]

Ladies, I'm really struggling. I feel like I will never sleep again.

Charlotte and I were making some progress... she did a few five hour stretches last week and I thought we were good to go! This week, it's back to every two hours. I put her down at 7 last night and she was up at 8, 12, 2 and 4 and then up for the day at 6. To top it all off, her reflux has been bad recently so she's crying and fussing when awake. I knew having a baby would be exhausting and difficult at times, but I'm just not feeling that it's all worth it today. I know that's the sleep deprivation and PND talking, but it's hard.

I can't stand being surrounded by women in my life and some on this board (it's not your fault, I'm just in a bad mood!) that have babies that seem to effortlessly sleep through the night before 3 months old. I recently posted on facebook that I got 6 hours of broken sleep and it felt great. A well-meaning friend responded that her LO - born within days of mine - had slept 9 hours straight! I had to clarify that the 6 hours I was talking about was not a straight stretch. I felt so dumb.

There are things I'm grateful for and I know I need to focus on them. Charlotte isn't up every hour or 90 minutes. She goes down easily at night. She goes back to sleep relatively easy after a wake-up, so I'm not up for long stretches at a time although sleep is very broken. I know it could be much, much worse.

I just wish I knew when it would get better. If someone could tell me, "you'll be down to one feed a night by 5 months", at least I'd know what to expect. I'm sort of getting used to being a bit sleep deprived, but I hate feeling like I'm doing something wrong. If one more person asks me if I have a bedtime routine, I'll scream. I feel like a shitty mom.

I also miss being with OH. We used to have a nice time watching TV together in the evenings and just chatting about our day, but now I have to go to bed at 8pm to catch her longest stretch of sleep.

I go back to work next week and I'm terrified. How will I ever function? I guess I will, because I don't have a choice.

 

[lysh]

Noelle- I share a lot of your frustrations as well and I go through the feeling like a bad mom thing. I hear about it from so many moms, I think it is pretty normal. My LO is a good baby, but stubborn. She wants what she wants already and most of what we have tried does not work with her. We even tried the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques, but swaddling is another issue. I miss time with my OH as well. It is just a big adjustment. I wish you luck as you transition back to work. I will face that in November. Just know you are not alone in your feelings!

 

[Noelle610]

Noelle- I share a lot of your frustrations as well and I go through the feeling like a bad mom thing. I hear about it from so many moms, I think it is pretty normal. My LO is a good baby, but stubborn. She wants what she wants already and most of what we have tried does not work with her. We even tried the Happiest Baby on the Block techniques, but swaddling is another issue. I miss time with my OH as well. It is just a big adjustment. I wish you luck as you transition back to work. I will face that in November. Just know you are not alone in your feelings!

Thanks Lysh It is a HUGE adjustment. I'm sure it gets easier.

 

[mia_leacey]

Hi ladies, can I join? I have a nearly 9 month bad sleeper who hit the 8mth sleep regression hard I'm so knackered!

Anyone heard anything good or bad about cranio osteopathy?

 

[shmoo75]

Hi ladies, can I join? I have a nearly 9 month bad sleeper who hit the 8mth sleep regression hard I'm so knackered!

Anyone heard anything good or bad about cranio osteopathy?

I have read some good things about it. FX it works for you.

My 7wk old has just self settled after ages of me trying to get her to go to sleep. She would fall asleep on me no problem but, as soon as I put her down she would wake up. As she wasn't screaming/crying I left her in her carrycot(we are sleeping in the front room tonight as DH feels like he is comig down withthe flu and I have to see to Lo and our 2yr old)I just keep popping the dummy in as and when she wants it. Saying this se has begun to fuss so looks like another bottle soon. Hopefully she will sleep properly oncce she has had this. Once we hit 6mths I can fully sleep train her if needs be. I miss my nights sleep but, it is sooooooooo worth it and I know it does get better.

 

[Trying4Angel1]

I'm just reading a few of these posts and I feel just so awful for all you new moms struggling with the sleep. I remember everyone telling me "it's get better" and I was so sick of hearing that because I was sure it never would!

I suffered from bad PPD until around 6 months, I was overwelhmed, exhausted and I missed my old life so bad.

I know you're also probably sick of hearing it but YES it gets better! Eventually every baby will sleep!

My LO was in and out of hospital many times, colds, allergies, flu (all under 3 months of age!!) He suffered from reflux which also kept us up all night! for 3 months the best stretch I got out of him was 2 hours. I was destroyed.

Here is what really helped us, take it as you wish!
1. I got him medicated for his reflux, after about 4 days of medication his night stretches went to 3-4 hours.
2. at around 2.5 months I moved him out of our bed and into his own crib. it helped once I got used to him not being right beside me.
3. I got him into a very strict bedtime and nap routine.
4. I ran a fan in his room to create white noise

I remember sitting in emergency crying to the nurse when my LO was only 3 days old. I told him I couldn't handle it! he told me that at 3 months I would notice a difference, then again at 6. it was so true!

we're now at 8 months and he sleeps 7:30pm to 7am with a bottle at 6am.

ALL of you will get there!! you're all great mommas and you can't doubt your ability just because your LO is being a lousy sleeper!!

I know that right now it feels like 3 months, 6 months, 8months is ages away, but honestly, you'll be looking back at these sleepless nights, wondering how you made it through, but knowing that you could & would do it again because it's 100% worth it!

Hang in there!!! download yahtzee on your iPhone or Flow (great game!) and keep plugging through!!!

oh and watch this video! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yotq4zr0dRc&sns=em

 

[EmmaCW]

Sleeping gets better at 3 months?!?! My wee boy has just got worse. He's nearly 7 months, goes to bed between 7-730pm and will sleep right through until anything inbetween 3.30 and 5am. He doesnt wake up looking for a bottle or juice as ive tried him with this, he doesnt wake up screeming or crying but will cry when he turns himself on his belly or gets himself into an awkward position in his cot so i cant just leave him. Im totally lost with what to do or whats the problem, he has been doing it for about 2 months now. I go back to work next month, i think i'll be a walking zombie not sure how im going to cope with it! has anyone elses baby done this? It's weird he gets up around the same time every morning. Ive tried putting him to bed later but it doesnt make a difference and he gets so grumpy if hes down anytime after 7.30 aswell . will he grow out of this? Im hoping so xx

 

[hakunamatata]

We use a Halo swaddle which binds her around the tummy but keeps her arms free. She likes being able to move her arms around. We also keep a fan going for that white noise effect.

She wakes up a couple times a night. Usually around 1-2 am and 4-5 am. I can't wait til she sleeps through the night. We have gotten a few stretches of 5 hours which was a-ma-zing.

I had to stop BF because I wasn't producing enough. When we switched to FF it helped my rest dramatically even though I'm still the one who does 99% of the nighttime feedings anyway. It really frees me up during the day which helps me to feel more refreshed overall.

 

[Noelle610]

Just went to visit my best friend and her new baby - 3 days old. This kid already sleeps better than my 11 week old. Shoot me now, will I ever sleep again?! So tired today that I'm in tears

 

[shmoo75]

Just went to visit my best friend and her new baby - 3 days old. This kid already sleeps better than my 11 week old. Shoot me now, will I ever sleep again?! So tired today that I'm in tears

Oh hun try not to compare your baby's sleeping to others as, it will only make you feel worse. My LO wakes once in the night for a feed at the moment but, its my 2yr old who is a nightmare now when she was as good as gold. Just wish there was a magic potion we could give them.

 

[AngelUK]

Just went to visit my best friend and her new baby - 3 days old. This kid already sleeps better than my 11 week old. Shoot me now, will I ever sleep again?! So tired today that I'm in tears

Not wanting your friend to go through this too but when I was still in hospital (I stayed 3 days cause of csection pains) my boys slept 4 hour rotas through the night. That did not last very long. When we got home they soon settled in to a 2h 30 - 3 hour rota (and one of them is now on a 45mins- 1 h rota ). So even if your friend's baby is sleeping well now doesn't mean it will stay that way. But shmoo is right, try not to compare your LO to others or you'll find it even harder to accept that you aren't one of the few lucky mums with easy babies.

 

[Noelle610]

Just went to visit my best friend and her new baby - 3 days old. This kid already sleeps better than my 11 week old. Shoot me now, will I ever sleep again?! So tired today that I'm in tears

Oh hun try not to compare your baby's sleeping to others as, it will only make you feel worse. My LO wakes once in the night for a feed at the moment but, its my 2yr old who is a nightmare now when she was as good as gold. Just wish there was a magic potion we could give them.

You're so right, I'll drive myself crazy!

 

[Noelle610]

Just went to visit my best friend and her new baby - 3 days old. This kid already sleeps better than my 11 week old. Shoot me now, will I ever sleep again?! So tired today that I'm in tears

Not wanting your friend to go through this too but when I was still in hospital (I stayed 3 days cause of csection pains) my boys slept 4 hour rotas through the night. That did not last very long. When we got home they soon settled in to a 2h 30 - 3 hour rota (and one of them is now on a 45mins- 1 h rota ). So even if your friend's baby is sleeping well now doesn't mean it will stay that way. But shmoo is right, try not to compare your LO to others or you'll find it even harder to accept that you aren't one of the few lucky mums with easy babies.

I have heard that there's a "honeymoon" phase with new newborns. I was 10days overdue and didn't get to experience this! Mine was screaming all night from the minute she came home. Earlier, in fact - the nurses at the hospital gave her a pacifier without my consent (not a common practice there) because she was so fussy in the nursery!

I really do want the best for my friend. The thing with the sleep "issues" is that it's just tough not having anyone to relate to. My friends, most of who have "easy" babies, just don't get it.

I hope your LO is sleeping better this week! xx