Sneaking back in...

[Pleasance]

Hey ladies. Boy this has been an awkward week with the holiday landing on the weekend and there will be some changes coming up at work that is making me a little basket case.

Wishn and mk, I've got my fingers crossed for you two!
Belle, it's really great that your back on the healthy bandwagon. I haven't managed to get back there since the holidays. I know this will be tough with your bf being prego but you can always vent to us ladies. We are here to support you.

Mk- I have been getting Clomid symptoms but they were unexpected honestly. I don't normally get too many of those from other things. I've been having hot flashes that are fairly mild and last only a few minutes, and they always wake me up around 4 am. I can't manage to fall back asleep so two days ago I went to bed at around 10 and woke up at 1:30 and was up the whole next day. I am also all bloated but to be fair, it could be my diet this week. It's been fairly atrocious. Maybe once I get back to eating better, all that will mellow out. Food & diet really do affect me in a big way.

So my work stuff has me in a bit of a fluster. Basically the team lead is leaving and I can apply for it, but it means more responsibility and hours or I can possibly apply for a different department, which would also be more hours but less weekends and a more harsh boss, or lastly I can stay where I am and pray they don't hire someone I can't stand. That's a huge simplification of the issues but weighing on my mind very heavily. I'm really at a loss. With ttc, the issue is that if I do get pregnant I don't want to take something I would then lose or screw over my fellow employees. There aren't many chances for advancement as we are a super duper small company so I don't want to just pass them by without giving them serious thought. A chance like this might come around once a year IF your lucky. The team lead had only changed once in the last nine years though.

 

[MKaykes]

Belle I understand the being cranky about your friend being pregnant. By the time May rolls around there will be 5 babies conceived/born to friends in the time since I went off bc. Hopefully once the news settles in you'll feel better, and you'll get plenty of baby snuggles when it's born!

Wishn I'm so excited hoping you get a ! It's keeping me distracted from thinking about my own testing!

Pleasance sorry to hear of your restless hot flash nights! Are you done taking it now? By the way, speaking of finance the monitoring through my cycle is the most expensive part! It's $285 every ultra sound if we pay cash and it must be paid at time of service. I have had at least 2 each month. These first 2 have dug into our savings so I don't know what we'll do if this didn't work...I got an appt where I can hopefully get insurance to cover things (but after a $2600 deductible) but can't get in until end of March. I think we've been crazy some days to go for it but adoption is our next route which will be a whole other ball game! It seems so unfair we even have to consider finances to grow our families, doesn't it? Most are just concerned that they can afford to care for a baby/ child.

When you say more hours...is it hourly paid positions so it would be a raise due to promotion as well as more hours = more money? Or salaried more hours just do to more responsibility? I was a team lead at my job before I stepped down last year when I went back to school. I knew I was stressed and not happy (one of the reasons I went back to school). I will never go back, lol! Until I was out of it I didn't realize how stressful it really was. It's nice to have some decision making control and obviously increase in pay is nice. It's a tough decision! Could you talk to the team lead who is leaving to get a feel for how they feel about the role and how you'd fit? I know at my company they usually have an idea who they want when those positions open up.

Good luck with work, and your upcoming "fertile week"!

Ha ha, has anyone watched The Great Sperm Race? They use humans as sperm and mountain valley as the vagina. It's like an hour long on YouTube. Like I said, I've had a stress free week...been wasting lots of time, lol. It was funny and really is amazing anyone gets pregnant on accident or first try!

 

[BelleNuit]

Pleasance, I think you should take TTC out of the equation when making this decision. So many times I've chosen not to do something this past year because I thought I would be pregnant by that point. I have passed up on jobs I wanted, on hiking trips, parties, etc. I regret it! You don't know what will happen, and if this job would make you happy then go for it. If this job won't improve your quality of life and happiness then don't go for it! Money isn't everything either! Time is a greater commodity in some ways.

MK I watched the great sperm race a couple months ago and loved it. It made me feel so much better about not being pregnant! Lol

Thanks for the venting support ladies it helps so much to know you're there!

 

[BelleNuit]

my best friends sister just announced her pregnancy on facebook too That is 4 pregnancy announcements in the last week. No wonder I'm losing my shit

 

[WishnandHopn]

Pleasance, I would say if you are even a little bit interested in the team lead job, you should apply. It's good to keep your options open...doesn't mean you'll get it or that you have to take the job if they offer it to you. I actually have a job interview in January for a manager position...I'm not even sure I want to move up or if I have a chance, just keeping my options open since opportunities to advance so rarely come up here either.

MK I loved the great sperm race! I made DH watch it with me. Human reproduction really is incredibly inefficient!

Belle, I'm so sorry for all the pregnancy announcements. Just when you think you can't feel worse...bam someone else's good news smacks you in the face. I totally feel for you.

I actually had sort of the opposite experience today. I was talking to a friend who's also been ttc and she opened up about some of the stuff she's been through this past year. I wish that neither of us had to go through any of this, but it was nice to be able to talk openly with someone in real life going through it too who understands. It seems like people's happy news gets blasted from the rooftops and on social media, but you never really know what awful things other people might be going through because it's just not discussed openly and we all put on these happy faces and pretend we're fine when really we're screaming on the inside. Sorry, that turned into a rant! I chickened out from testing this morning...maybe tomorrow...or maybe I will wait till next year to test!

Here's hoping 2017 will be a better year for all of us!

 

[2ducks]

Thanks 2ducks. I think we all deserve 2017 BFPs. Infertility is a tough thing. Even my friend with pcos, conceived 3 times within the 6-8 month time frame. She talks like she understands infertility but really doesn't, she still found BDing fun at the end of it all LOL. And thinks the way to make me feel better is to talk about how miserable her pregnancy is making her! I know she means well, but thats not what I need. Its actually pretty surprising how many people make that mistake

I know exactly how you feel. In the time we started TTC my best friend got pregnant and had her baby. We are both the same age, it was really hard for me to digest, it made me sick to my stomach thinking about it for a couple of months. We live in different states, I finally mustered up the courage to visit her for the weekend and bring her gifts from myself and my family. First off all she did was talk about the pregnancy, even when I didn't ask. I smiled and listened politely. I am not exaggerating when I say she constantly complained about being pregnant, how much she hated it and how much she wanted a beer. I finally said "Let's switch places and I'll be 7 months pregnant."

I appreciate every moment of this pregnancy (even when I have been constipated for days on end and look full term) I remember the heartbreak of those who are struggling and realize things are not that bad....

Hugs to everyone and wishes for New Years BFPS!

 

[WishnandHopn]

BFN at 10 dpo. I should know better by now. Oh well, bring on the champagne.

Looking forward to saying good bye and good riddance to 2016 tonight!

 

[MKaykes]

NOOO Wishn! But, I guess, enjoy the champagne tonight and good riddance to 2016! I'll probably be right behind you on Monday when I finally test. Definitely feeling out (but also super cranky/irritable today she feeling negative in general)

 

[WishnandHopn]

Thanks MK. I did enjoy that wine last night! I didn't test today. Sorry you're feeling out...I hope you are pleasantly surprised by a BFP tomorrow! Fx for you!

Happy New Year's everybody! Any resolutions? I suck at keeping resolutions. I'm going to focus on staying positive, eating more vegetables and less sugar, and getting some kind of exercise every day. Oh yeah, and nagging my husband less!

 

[MKaykes]

Happy 2017, cheers to a good year for all of us!

Wishn, I'm with you on the "resolution" to eat better and exercise more (like every year, lol!) I got a Fitbit for Christmas so hoping it helps encourage more activity. I like the reminders every hour to get up and move, and I love the sleep tracking for some reason. I'd like to at minimum loose the 5 pounds I've gained this last month! So much easier to put it on that lose it!

I had a wonderful dream about getting a BFP early in the morning and had to wake DH up to tell him the news. It was so real I had to think about it when I woke up to realize it was a dream...would be so great if this was a sign for tomorrow...still feeling out though, feel no different than any other month.

 

[MKaykes]

Wish I was starting the year off on a positive note, but negative test this morning 😭. On to year 3 TTC...

 

[BelleNuit]

Oh MK I am so sorry!! The year marks really hurt. I've been struggling since hitting the 1 year mark.

Well I really really really really really hope this next IUI will be the one for you!!! How many IUIs do you plan to do?

I'm so sorry MK I would like a BFP for you even more than I would like one for myself.

 

[WishnandHopn]

MK I'm so so sorry. BFNs are shit. Any sign of AF? Until what dpo are you supposed to continue the progesterone?

I also had a BFN this morning, I'm 12 dpo but I still don't feel out. I've had a headache every day since 10 dpo but other than that I feel totally normally, zero signs of pregnancy or AF. I think the fact that I didn't get a BFP until 17 dpo last time always gives me this weird hope that BFN's before AF is late are meaningless for me.

 

[MKaykes]

I'll stop the progesterone now with the BFN and AF shpuld be here in a few days. If i keep taking it it'll just delay AF and give me an unrealistic hope there is still a chance. We plan to do 2 more IUIs without insurance and I'm hoping to start acupuncture. I got an appt with a clinic that hopefully insurance will cover but not till the end of March. I'm curious if we'd have any different answers from a different doctor.

Glad you aren't feeling out yet Wishn, there is still hope, how many dpo does AF usually arrive?

 

[BelleNuit]

I'm keeping my FX for you Wishn! I agree BFNs before AF may not mean much!

MK I have heard good things about acupuncture when mixed with IUI and IVF. It's definitely helped regulate my cycle, reduced PMS, reduced pre AF spotting, reduced clotting reduced AF cramping and gave me stronger signs of O. That said, on its own I'm not sure how helpful it is depending on what the problem is.

We are in our fertile week now. I haven't been able to find any softcups in store, so we may be doing it the traditional route. I'll look again this afternoon and see what I can find

 

[WishnandHopn]

My cycles have been weird lately...last month I got AF the evening of 16 dpo, but the month before that it was only 12 dpo. Before the MC I consistently had a 13-14 day luteal phase.

MK would your current clinic consider changing the amount of time between trigger and IUI? Like 36 or 48 hours? I've read that IUI timing is way more important than intercourse timing since washed sperm don't live nearly as long in the body as 'natural' sperm.

Belle good luck in your fertile week! In case you can't find soft cups, I made a little "insemination kit" consisting of a sterilized glass jar and 10 cc syringe for those times when DH is having trouble finishing the traditional way. You should be able to get syringes at any drug store.

 

[BelleNuit]

Thanks for that tidbit Wishn! Looks like there were huge production issues with softcup, so its unlikely I'll be able to find them in store. I ordered a box on Amazon that should be here by Friday, and I found 1 cup left at home. So we'll mostly be doing it the old fashioned way this week. I am just really tired of BDing, and we haven't even started this month I just hate laying there afterwards. Thats the worse part of the whole thing.

 

[Pleasance]

Mk and wishn I'm so sorry!

Ladies this clomid really did its thung. My body went from barely having O signs and faintly registering on a cheapo stick to full blown signs and a +opk on my digit last night. Last month I didn't O till CD 24, and my O signs were sometime like CD 20. This feels so odd... We BD last night of course but we will the next couple nights too if we can manage.

Honestly ladies, one thing I'll be happy for when/if we ever do get prego is for BDing to stop feeling so transactional. I want to go back to the feeling that every time we get together it's because of want or desire, not timing.

 

[WishnandHopn]

Pleasance I'm so glad the clomid seems to be working!! I'm with you on the scheduled sex getting old...sometimes when DH initiates outside of the fertile window it takes me by surprise, I'm like oh yeah, we are still allowed to do it 'just for fun'!

Belle, I usually keep a good book nearby to pass the 'elevated hips' time. All the good fast ones are already in the cervix within a few minutes, so it probably doesn't make much difference if you lie there for 5 or 30 minutes. Have you heard of the rotisserie approach? You lie on your back for 5 min, left side for 5 min, then right for 5 min. Seems a bit ridiculous but who knows?

MK any sign of the witch?

I'm 13 dpo and didn't test today. The wait is killing me. I just hate these last few days!!

 

[BelleNuit]

Pleasance glad to hear the clomid is doing the trick for you! I'm actually looking forward to the femara next cycle. I know it's the next step for us and I'm glad that I waited until I was ready.

Wishn I haven't heard of the rotisserie approach, but I just may have to try it haha. I sometimes worry that my poor "tipped cervix" is causing all our problems for us!

Can't believe I'm CD 10 already. The cycles just fly by ladies! I'm hoping I'll hold out until CD 14 for ovulation again.