Sneaking back in...

[BelleNuit]

MK, I'm so sorry that IVF was the answer you got. I think your next few steps make sense and it'll give you a good idea of how successful the treatments would be. I think if there is any takeaway its that the doc is feeling fairly confident that you would be successful with this treatment assuming all other factors are good. The need for injections is pretty awful. I've read experiences so that I would understand a bit better about what is all involved. I think that you are incredibly strong MK and either route, IVF or adoption, are good options.

Wishn I've also read that success rates are much higher in certain populations. For whatever reason unexplained and women with endo tend to do well! It gives me hope that if we went down that road we'd get where we wanted to be.

I don't think you're the only one confused by AMH lol. I don't think docs fully understand the relationship between the two. But having a low FSH and good AFC is a protective factor It will be neat to see how you respond to the injections! But I'm still hoping that you will get lucky this cycle!

Well got my cross hairs so I'm done temping again for another cycle. I hope it happens for us. Only 3.5 more cycles to go before we would start IUI :S I don't know if I would tell people if we did IUI or not. So many people refer to it crudely like its the turkey baster method. I hate how much stigma there is around infertility and treatments. I've been considering making a post on social media in support of infertility awareness during the Canadian awareness week in May.

 

[WishnandHopn]

How is everyone doing?

Belle, your 2ww is half over already! How did that happen? Any new "symptoms" in your first femara 2ww? I have everything crossed for you!

MK, how are you? Have you guys decided anything about IVF?

I'm doing alright. AF is gone and I'm waiting to O. Feeling kind of blah about this cycle. I was all gung ho to do EVERYTHING and really try hard this cycle, but right now I feel like, what's the point? It's so much effort and always has the same result. The one bright spot is that my mom is coming to visit us this weekend. I love her visits!

 

[BelleNuit]

Wishn I was just thinking the same thing. This TWW has flown by lol. My bbs are absolutely aching. It started around 5 dpo this cycle. I had a cycle in June where they hurt early and the whole way through. But they haven't been this sore in awhile. I'm wondering if maybe it's a sign of increased progesterone? I'm sure my cycle just wants to torture me with horrible PMS before gifting me with AF lol

MK did you get stronger PMS symptoms in your TWW with femara?

Wishn if you feel like the right way to go is to take it easy a bit then by all means do that! We have all tried so hard only to have it result in nothing so I think it makes sense to take it easy now and then.

 

[WishnandHopn]

Belle extra sore bbs sounds like a definite sign of a great O and higher progesterone if it's not the norm for you! Hmm maybe you dropped two eggies?!

I decided not to temp this month and haven't decided if I'm going to do OPKs. I found it a bit less stressful in the tww when I wasn't 100% sure which day I had O'd. I'm feeling pretty down this week. I drove to work this morning and when I got there I broke down in tears and couldn't stop. Just crying my face off in the parking lot. So I emailed my boss that I needed to take a mental health day and drove myself back home and got back into my pjs. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

Anyone have any fun weekend plans? My mom will be visiting...think we're going to go get mani-pedis. Haven't figured out what else to do with her.

 

[BelleNuit]

Thanks wishn! Thats what I was thinking too! its definitely possible there is higher progesterone around which is why I'm having stronger PMS signs again. My poor DH really tugged on my heart last night. Right before bed he asked me if I had any other signs of pregnancy, and I had to tell him it was too early to hope that it was anything other than PMS.

I'm sorry that you're having such a rough week. Truth be told I'm having a rough week too. Good for you for taking that mental health day. I hope that it was just the thing you needed.

That sounds like fun weekend plans i'll be taking my brother suit shopping for his wedding

 

[MKaykes]

Belle, that sounds like great progesterone symptoms! I can't say that any increase in symptoms was from femara necessarily since I was on the progesterone suppositories at the same time. I didn't feel any differently last cycle when I actually had progesterone levels over 20, so who knows!

Wishn, sorry you're feeling so down. Anything in particular? Mani/pedis with mom sound lovely! My sister and I took my mom last Sat and they got facials and I got a pedi. Then went to lunch and a little retail therapy. It was mom's Christmas present we finally got scheduled.

Nothing planned this weekend. I was on my mid-semester break from school this week. Just did my 20 hours of work and have no idea how I spent the rest of my time!

I have a baseline ultrasound and hysterscopy today. After DH does another SA we regroup with the doctor. It's pretty much been decided we're going for it. Feels so strange after all this time saying I wasn't going to do IVF to be heading down that path now. Because it is relatively affordable DH is pretty set on it. I don't think he understand my concerns about all the hormone injections my body will go through. I showed home some pictures of people's IVF med set ups hoping to freak him out a little and it didn't work. He'd be supportive if I said no, but I want it to be a joint decision... and I guess a part of me wants sympathy from him. He wants a baby badly too but it isn't the same gut renching we go through. I told him I was terrified we'd finally get pregnant and then I'd miscarry and I don't know how I'd go on from there. He told me to talk to our friend whose had a couple. They have 3 kids and no trouble getting pregnant. Mc is terrible for anyone, but mc after TTC for 2+ years and IVF it won't be the same. He didn't get that.

I'm going to old fashioned natural way this cycle too wishn. No temping and I'm not going to do opks. I'm so looking forward to no progesterone suppositories! And, DTD because we want to! Chances are good we'll be there around o since hormones put me in the mood, but not going to intentionally time it.

 

[MKaykes]

Tests went well yesterday, everything looked good. I was bit prepared for how uncomfortable the hysterscopy would be! No pain or cramping after, but during was bad even after the lidocaine they put in and the 4 ibuprofen I took ahead of time!

Now I wait for DH to schedule his SA, and in going to try hard to not remind him. This is what he really wants to do, so I'll leave it to him now to keep the process going. Speaking of DH, had to bring him to the ER in the middle of the night, turns out he has a kidney stone. He was in so much pain. I've heard its comparable to childbirth. Made me terrified to go through that, lol!

Hope you're having a lovely weekend! Sounds like fun family time for you both!

 

[BelleNuit]

Hey MK, I'm glad that the hysteroscopy went okay sounds like it was pretty painful though :S I wonder if thats because the endo makes it worse? I dunno, glad you made it through in one piece!

And wow sorry for your DH! those kidney stones must be awful!! I think its smart that you leave it to him to book his SA. As you put it, he's the one that is wanting to do this and it literally is the least he could do LOL

With IVF, I think if you do end up going ahead with that, the thing to do would be to take it one step at a time. The whole process can be over whelming, but one injection at a time, one day at a time might seem easier to handle. I think if DH is wanting to go ahead with this it is fair for you to both compile a list of risks and benefits. Look into what the realistic risks are short term and long term for your body. Consider if it is worth it for you and if the benefits outweigh the risks. I expect if we get to that point that is something that DH and I will do. Although my DH is pretty set on just following along with whatever I decide :/

 

[WishnandHopn]

Oh MK you are so brave to have a hysteroscopy while conscious! I was put out for mine. Glad everything looked good, no new polyps etc. Sorry to hear your DH has kidney stones! My dad has had them for years...oh man they are painful. My dad is a tough guy and I've witnessed him sweating and shaking and passing out from that pain! I hope he can pass it without needing surgery or whatever.

How did the suit shopping go Belle? When is the wedding? I'm counting the days in the rest of your tww. Do you think you will test or just wait out AF?

I'm feeling a bit better today. I think it's the combination of infertility, miscarriage, slow recovery from broken arm, and work stress that is overwhelming me. I'm CD10 and sex week started last night. DH surprised me by wanting to go again this morning - so rare for him! My mom arrived today so we'll have to sneak in one quiet BD while she's here.

 

[BelleNuit]

Suit shopping was successful! We got just what he was looking for! The wedding is in May, so its coming up quick!

AFM, 10 dpo today, holy man! my bbs are still tender but they hurt less than they did a couple days ago, so I'm going to assume that means my progesterone is starting to drop off. I guess I'll probably start spotting in the next day or two. I kind of forgot about it I've been so busy lol. I'll just be waiting for AF. Its due on Wednesday. I really don't have high hopes. I feel pretty indifferent actually.

Have fun this week Wishn!! You certainly have a lot of your plate so it is no wonder that you are feeling overwhelmed. And on top of it all an IUI with injectible meds to look forward to next cycle is no small ordeal! Infertility sucks, we all have to take some time out to take care of ourselves!

Personally, I've just checked out!

 

[BelleNuit]

Well I started spotting. So I'm 99.99% sure AF will arrive right on time on Wednesday. I'm mildly disappointed, but knew it was going to wind up this way anyway. I think we're going to have to do IUI. But we'll wait for now.

 

[MKaykes]

Still spotting Belle? It really sucks getting to the point where it's just like, whatever...

I am only 11 dpo, but plenty of EWCM started today. I was looking forward to casual BD time, but DH hasn't passed his kidney stone yet and one of the meds seems to lead to a lack of semen... so may not happen during ovulation for us, but considering we've had 4 failed IUIs it's not like it would happen on it's own anyway.

 

[BelleNuit]

Hey MK, ya still spotting. For whatever reason my spotting is a bit heavier this cycle than in previous cycles. Maybe that means my lining was a bit thicker? I'm sure AF will show up by tomorrow. Not having any cramping yet, but cp is open so its just a matter of time.

Maybe it will be a nice change of pace to just take a break this cycle MK? It sounds like there is a lot going on and it could be refreshing to just let go of TTC in the meantime?

 

[WishnandHopn]

Belle, I'm really sorry to hear about the spotting. I was so hopeful that femara would do it for you on the first try.

MK, that's a bummer that DH's kidney stone is putting a damper on sex week.

Ladies, I am so frustrated for both of you, for all of us! Can't something go our way for a change?!

I'm CD13 and got my positive OPK today, wicked O pain too so I think I should O in the next day or two. We'll BD tonight but honestly with these cramps I don't think it will be much fun!

 

[BelleNuit]

Ya I'm feeling pretty frustrated for all of us too :/ Spotting is getting pretty heavy so much so I'm certain AF will start over night. I just find it hard to even care anymore.

I hope that O pain your having means your growing a super egg Wishn!

 

[MKaykes]

Belle, so sorry that femara want magic its first month! Is your flow heavier?

Wishn hope sex week has been enjoyable!

DH still has his stone. Went in for surgery yesterday and they couldn't get to it, so just put in a stent. Has to go back in 2 weeks for surgery #2. No semen analysis being done probably until this is over as he's in pain and peeing blood. So, we may push out IVF another month than planned. I'm okay with that.

I'm actually loving this break, knowing there is 0 chance I'm pregnant. I don't have to do vaginal suppositories, I dont have to wonder what every twinge means, and can't even have a shred of hope as AF approaches that I'll be surprised with a BFP.

 

[WishnandHopn]

MK, sorry your DH is still dealing with the stones! When my dad had his, they had to blast them with sound waves to break them up so he could pass the tiny little pieces with less pain. Is that an option?

So this will sound weird, but I almost envy you having no chance of being pregnant this cycle! What a nice break and load of pressure off to know that AF is coming, it's just a matter of time. I haven't felt that since I was on birth control! Even if our chances are less than 1% each month, I still hang on desperately to the 1% until AF shows her face.

Belle, how are you? Are you taking femara again this cycle?

I'm in the tww now, expecting AF around Mar 30. The rest of this month is going to be so busy at work, so it should distract me from obsessing and freaking out about starting IUI in April. We've had beautiful weather this weekend and lots of sunshine so I think it's starting to help lift my mood.

 

[BelleNuit]

MK my flow was heavier the first 2 days, but then drifted off like normal. So I'm not sure if it was really any heavier than usual. I'm on my last day of femara, and for that I'm glad

I'm glad you're getting a real and true break. You definitely deserve it! Even my "break" we still tried EOD. It's hard to really stop ttc.

Wishn I'm really keeping my FX for you! On another thread I'm on it seems like all the women get their BFPs the cycle before starting treatment. I hope that will be the case for you too!

 

[WishnandHopn]

Thanks Belle! I would LOVE to join that club, but not feeling super optimistic about this cycle. I'm so super stressed at work, I worry that even next month with superovulation and IUI I still won't be able to get pregnant. My body is a toxic soup of stress hormones. I tried listening to a guided meditation last night and fell asleep half way through. Haha I suck at meditating.

How was the femera this time? Any side effects?

MK how are you? How's your DH and his stone?

 

[MKaykes]

So, although this break is awesome, I'm feeling antsy for AF so the next cycle is here. I'm trying to change my mindset and come to terms with no pregnancy without IVF so realistically until we do that I can be chill like this month. DH still hasn't passed his stone so it's looking like it'll be surgically removed next week. He's 100% more comfortable since his stent though.

I would totally fall asleep if I meditated at bedtime too! The point is to relax you though, so I think that's okay! I do wonder about stress hormones. They don't seem to know exactly how it affects fertility. I had such a stressful job until i stated school last year, but then school is stressful too. DH often works 10-12 hour days. So, perhaps my body had just rejected any possible conception because of stress...

I'm at CD 20. Based on EWCM I'm about a week away from AF, so about the same time as you wishn.

Crossing my fingers for a good strong O belle!