Sneaking back in...

Ugh, J_D I sure hope this isn't permanent! That would sure change things. Very stressful indeed!
 
Oh boy my bbs are absolutely KILLING me today. I'm thinking the femara must have changed the balance of my estrogen and progesterone, I had super sore bbs for an entire week before AF last cycle too, which definitely isn't my norm.

Wishn how are things going?? Any cramps from the injections?

MK how is your husband doing? has he finally passed those awful stones?
 
J and MK...sorry about the retrograde ejaculation. Definitely not conducive to TTC! Is it the same as dry ejaculation? That happened to my DH once or twice...it was weird. With retrograde does it end up in the bladder?

Belle, I can understand your changing jobs dilemma. It's tricky situation, especially if you feel you're underpaid. It can't hurt to keep an eye out for something better. And you know what, even if you got pregnant the day after starting a new job, it's totally reasonable to take mat leave after only 9 months working somewhere. I think the extra sore bbs is a very promising sign! That femara is definitely doing something...Fx it's a BFP on the way!

I'm on day 3 of injections, 2 more to go until my ultrasound Friday morning. The first two didn't hurt but the one today pinched and bled! I can already feel some twinges in my ovaries, but no other symptoms really. Oh after the gym tonight I thought I had mascara running down my face but when it wouldn't rub off I realized it was two big blue veins on my cheek under my eye! Very weird. No idea if it's drug related or what.
 
Thanks Wishn, some work places just have a policy that you have to be with them a certain amount of time before you can take a mat leave. My current workplace won't offer a mat leave until you've been there for at least 3 months. I have been keeping my eyes open though, I get job notifications sent to my inbox daily :)

So your protocol involves 5 days of injections? Then you get checked and they might get you to do more if needed? That doesn't sound too bad actually. I wonder what the drugs would cost here in Alberta. That's really the biggest variable for us. I get really scared when I think about the cost of everything, but then I have to remind myself to take it one step at a time.

I'm feeling really angry and irritable today. So I definitely think PMS is setting in. I'm just so tired of ttc and actually want to start IUI sooner than later. I just feel hopeless. We'll do our last cycle of femara, but I would actually like to start IUI in May, except I want cycle monitoring and I'm not sure how my brothers wedding will interfere with all of that. Things to think about anyway.
 
Wishn - yeah retrograde ejac is where it goes back to the bladder instead of out like it is supposed to. Something about relaxing the bladder neck or something from the meds.

DH had surgery today and the stone is out, surgery took her only 7 minutes! So, we are happy to hear that. While he was recovering and the doctor came out I asked her about the ejaculatory issues since he hadn't met with her really since his last surgery and she said it was very common and within 72 hours after not taking the Flomax should be back to normal. I mentioned we were doing IVF which is why we were concerned and she made me feel so good about the clinic we are going to. There are 3-4 in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area and one a couple hours south and she said the one we are at is the one she would refer anyone too, they have the best labs and protocols. So, I feel good about that. Also, she made me feel better about the genetic screening actually, so I think we may actually do that. It felt good to get a doctor's input (though this was not from a medical standpoint but her own experience) rather than the RE pushing me to do something, as I'd be concerned they were just concerned about making more $$ or their success rates. Her point was, after all the time, effort and money it would be so devastating to miscarry due to abnormal chromosomes, that ensuring you have the best chance really makes sense. And she's right. I just feel like it gets to be a slippery slope doing all these screenings. She even said they were going to share with her the sex of the embryos and she wouldn't let them. Selecting the sex of the embryo just seems too much for me!

Belle - is your brother's wedding out of town where you'll be away from your clinic for a while? Timing wise with your usual cycles where abouts in your cycle do you think you'll be? I'm already trying to plan out our IVF cycle on my calendar as we have some weddings and I have a music festival I'll be away from home for a weekend for. I would laugh if I postpone IVF to go away for a weekend, lol. Actually at this point, that would be more important to me, I'm tired of planning my life around TTC, but seems to just be the natural way for me to think now.
 
Belle, I'm sorry you're feeling down. TTC is so draining. Do you or DH have any prescription drug coverage through work? My gonal-F was $500 for about 7 doses, but insurance covered 80% so I only paid $100. Crazy to think I am injecting about $80 worth of meds each day!

MK, great news on DH's surgery and not having to take that drug anymore! Glad you got some reassurance about your clinic and advice from his doctor. TTC sure does make life planning tricky. Hope you can find a good 'window' of time to do IVF that doesn't interfere with life too much.

I'm on day 5 of injections, ultrasound is tomorrow. They will probably up my dose, I may have to do another 4-8 days of stims. Once the follicles get to a certain size, they'll do ultrasounds every other day until I'm ready to trigger. The monitoring is the real expense, if we were paying out out pocket it would cost $289 every time we went in for a scan and blood! I really hope to have the IUI before Easter so we can have a relaxing long weekend. I think for any cycle with injectables and monitoring, whether IUI or IVF, and especially the first time on a protocol, you definitely need to clear your calendar for the month! Mostly because you can't predict how your body is going to respond and when you'll be ready. If this IUI doesn't work, we'll do one more in June and then take a break for summer.
 
MK, ya brothers wedding is about 2 hours away and I'll be gone for the entire weekend. I should be in the beginning part of my cycle, somewhere around CD6-8 during the wedding. I think Wishn is right though and picking a time for treatment when you're not too busy is the best route. We'll skip treatment in May as I think it would be too stressful.

Good for you MK for deciding to plan IVF around your life and not the other way around! Keep in mind you could always go on bcp to make your cycle "start" at a time that is most convenient for you! Some big clinics do that routinely. I am happy to hear that you've come to some kind of conclusion regarding the genetic screening. That is a good perspective, after all of this pain and frustration why make yourself go through a m/c due to genetic issues that could have been screened for? I agree with not wanting to know the gender of the embies though. That would make it harder I think if the worst did happen. Also super glad to hear your hubby's surgery is done! He must be feeling so much better!

Wishn thanks for the heads up regarding drug prices, that is much more affordable than I thought. I'll assume it will be somewhat similar here in Alberta. With my age I likely wouldn't need a super high dose either, although who knows, my FSH wasn't brilliant lol (7.5 almost a year ago), and neither was my AFC (13), not sure what my AMH was as it wasn't tested. I'm not ruling out IUI with injectibles as apparently they can be more helpful for ladies who struggle with producing a thick enough lining... which I still think could be our main issue. We have very limited drug coverage on my plan, I think like max $1200 is covered, but I also have a health spending account (500) which I could put towards a bit more if I wanted. I think it might make some sense to max out the drug coverage that we have this year and then try IVF during the next calendar year. I think I'll ask to have my FSH and AMH repeated though before deciding to delay IVF for 6+ months. The cycle monitoring fees at my clinic are capped at ~400 for a super ovulation IUI, which is nice because it certainly calls for a lot of blood work and ultrasounds. I think we could do a couple IUIs this year without accumulating much debt if we are careful about it. I'll be planning to beg my parents for help if we need IVF though. I don't expect them to fund the whole thing (ridiculous expectation), but any little bit would help and they said they would help if we needed it. They might set up like an interest free parent loan for us though, which would be immensely helpful.

Thanks for sharing the details on your IUI cycle Wishn! It is really helpful for me to get an idea of what to expect!! You're handling these injections like a total champ too! I'm really really hoping you won't have to do anymore because you'll get your bfp this cycle!
 
Wishn how was your ultrasound today? Any changes to your dosing?

How are you doing Belle? Are you going to test your just wait until AF is late?

I want to ask you guys about Canadian healthcare since it is really interesting to me, but I feel like that's complicated. I thought there was government sponsored healthcare, do you get to choose level of coverage or are there supplemental private plans? In the end I guess it doesn't matter, but I just had a special speaker today about healthcare finance and the section US healthcare reimbursement is headed.
 
Happy weekend ladies! My ultrasound went well yesterday! I found out I already had two 16 mm follicles on my left ovary. I did one more dose of gonal-f last night and went back for bloodwork this morning. Unless something comes back weird in the blood work, I will be triggering tonight and IUI Monday morning! I'm pretty excited. We decided to BD early this morning, just to cover our bases in case I O early. DH was supposed to abstain 2-5 days before the IUI, so I hope his swimmers can build up enough before Monday!

Belle, your wait is almost over! How are you feeling? Fx that the witch stays away.

MK, Canadian health care can vary from province to province, but I can tell you how it works in Ontario. Everyone gets the same level of coverage, which covers doctor and hospital visits and tests, basically all essential medical diagnosis and treatment. All you have to do is show your health card, and you don't pay anything. (Well of course we pay for it through our taxes). Things that are excluded from provincial coverage would be things like cosmetic procedures, some fertility treatments, "elective" stuff. I think some provinces have private imaging clinics where you can pay out of pocket for an MRI (like if the wait time is too long). Some people have insurance through work (paid by employee and/or employer) for things not covered by the provincial plan, like prescription drugs, dentist, optometrist, massage, physio, naturopath, etc. So on the plus side, there's no such thing as "I'm sick but can't afford to go to the doctor" but on the down side we have long wait times for some things like MRIs, certain types of surgery, and even cancer treatment (which is so scary to even think about).

I would like to ask you why there is such a love/hate about Obamacare in the U.S....but I think that is probably a really loaded question!
 
I think pretty much anyone in Canada can go to the doctor if they need to without having to pay for it as long as they have their provincial health care card. Medications are discounted I believe by the government (not all of course, but many) and the remainder of the cost (usually up to 80%) would be covered by your employers drug benefits. Employer benefits (which nearly every employer offers) cover all the extras like dental, vision, chiro, massage, etc. Fertility treatment coverage varies greatly by province. In Alberta nothing fertility related is covered, but I think it might be easier to find private options for MRI testing for example.

Well I'm 11-12 dpo today. CP still feels closed which is a good sign, it often starts opening up around now, still might will see later today. No spotting so far. Bbs still tender, although less intense than a few days ago which makes me think progesterone is dropping. Had a night sweat last night (so gross), I had one last few around the same point to. Must be from the femara. I dunno, I'm feeling out. AF is due Monday or Tuesday. I'll just wait for it. Will update you guys if I start spotting this weekend. I guess there is still a chance if I don't spot.

My best friend (who almost lost her baby at 12 weeks) started bleeding again heavily at 23 weeks. They told her she was miscarrying. Next day bleeding slowed down and baby was fine. Found out sac tore again (same spot as before but bigger) and that she has placenta previa which is causing most of the problems I think. I'm hoping she can carry as long as she can. If baby was 5 days older (34 weeks) they would have delivered right then, a 2 lb baby. Just makes me think that TTC is just one step of the process. Oh man...
 
Oh Wishn I forgot to say I'm super stoked about those eggies!! I'm​ honestly so excited about your cycle, keep updating!
 
well cm color started changing, ever so slight tan color to it, which is how it always starts. So I expect AF will be here Tuesday. At this point I really do think that lining thickness is the thing that could be causing our trouble. DH has been off of weed for almost 3 months now so his swimmers should be good to go, I've been taking egg supplement stuff for awhile now too. I'm going to take the plunge and add l'arginine to my supplements next cycle. I've been hesitant to do that because it can mess things up for you depending on whats going on for you, but it can do wonders for the women who need it. I feel like I have nothing to lose next cycle. Its clear that FE alone isn't going to do the trick for us. We'll give that supplement a try next cycle to hopefully thicken my lining up nice and proper (which has to be the only issue we have left). if that doesn't work then I think its clear that we'll need more advanced fertility treatment and we'll start IUI in June. I'll get my MMR booster in may!
 
Belle, hugs, I'm sorry it seems like the witch is coming. I hope not! Trying arginine to help your lining is a good idea. It's an amino acid, so I don't see how it could really hurt? Unless you are prone to cold sores like I am, too much arginine can cause an outbreak.

I think you are on to something with your lining, since everything else checks out. You did that test quite a while ago, right, and they didn't repeat it? I feel like some doctors are pretty quick to run the 'standard' tests and then declare it unexplained infertility. They stand to make more money by doing IUIs and IVF rather than in depth testing to actually find out what's wrong (wow I am so cynical). Does your clinic do the post-coital test? Although I guess by doing IUI you can circumvent any 'hostile cervix' issues. We can be IUI buddies in June if you decide to go that route and this one doesn't work for us.

Ugh I haven't even had the IUI yet and already I'm assuming it will fail! Ok, positive thinking only, IUI is in 15 hours!
 
Thanks Wishn, spotting has gotten heavier, so unfortunately its just a matter of time I think. I'm trying not to dwell on it too much. I'm really not that surprised.

There is a lot of mixed research about l'arginine. It does improve radial artery blood flow to the uterus, but more blood flow is not necessarily a good thing if you already have good blood flow. Blood carries all the nutrients to the egg, with too much blood flow its almost like throwing too much fertilizer at the egg, the egg quality goes down and pregnancy rates are reduced. But for women who have reduced blood flow to their uterus the l'arginine is exactly what they need. I'm betting that I'm probably someone who has reduced blood flow.

I've asked them multiple times to repeat the lining test but they brush me off. Its so frustrating. The best answer I've gotten is to do IUI with cycle monitoring. Off course they will suggest that, because they'll get more $$ out of me. At this point I don't even care. I'm just looking at the first IUI as a diagnostic procedure more than anything.

Wishn I hope you and I won't be IUI cycle buddies in June because I hope that you will get your bfp this go around! I totally understand though, its hard to stay positive after awhile. I'm 20 cycles in (soon to be 21) and have never had a bfp :(

I've decided to let myself mope around today.
 
Thanks Belle. I'm sorry the spotting's getting heavier...$*#@ AF. You are definitely entitled to a mope around day. :hugs: I kinda wish FF wouldn't tell me how many cycles we've been at this.

DH just called to say he's finished giving his sample! TMI...he said there was lots...lol. Heading out to meet him for coffee and then to the clinic for 10:30! T minus 2 hours and counting. Wish me luck!
 
Belle, sorry to see your update about spotting. You've been so great about trying different things, and glad to hear your DH has quit the weed for the last few months. I agree the lining could be an issue, too bad they won't check it. I did think the monitored IUI was worth it so we knew my lining and follicles were ready. I did IUI much earlier than I would have just with opk but I think I also have delayed ovulation since if have about 3 days of positive opks.

Wishn, good luck! Glad DH left a good size sample! We were concerned the first time because in the urine sample cup they sent home for the sample makes it seem like not much proportional to the cup. I always brought a book along for my 20 minutes where I just had to lay there.

AFM, I'll likely O later this week. Not much hope for a natural BFP but it would be awesome if that would happen! Not going to stress about timing BDing, just going to let it happen if we're in the mood. Next week sending DH for his repeat SA.
 
Mission IUI accomplished! What a relief. I had some strong cramping when they put the catheter in, but it's just dull cramps now. I was going to go to work but it hurts more when I walk and move so I decided to stay home and take it easy. I really want to think positive, but DH's numbers were a bit disappointing. His total count pre-wash was 66 mil with 27% motility. After the wash, his total motile count was only 3 million with 82% motility. Telling myself that millions are still better than the thousands that make it to the tubes in a natural cycle...and it only takes 1!

Good luck this month MK! Hope your DH's SA goes well!
 
Wishn I've heard from others that the catheter can be uncomfortable. That makes me a little nervous! Especially since I know my cervix is a little tilty in there lol.

Glad you decided to take the day to rest and recover! I think you still have a pretty decent chance with 3 million! They say after 9 million count that a higher count makes no difference, and you really aren't too far off from that!

MK I'll keep my FX for you for this natural cycle! Stranger things have happened of that I'm sure!

My spotting has slowed down from what it was yesterday, but I'm still not holding my breath. AF will either show this evening or tomorrow morning.
 
You know what, it wasn't the catheter going into my cervix that hurt, it was when the end of the catheter hit the back wall of my uterus and this big wave of cramps started. They don't use ultrasound to guide it in there, so they just shove it in until it stops! Ouch. Still cramping, but I honestly can't tell my uterus cramps apart from my ovary cramps anymore.

I'm really glad the number was in the millions...she said they are swimming into the tubes within seconds, even before the speculum is removed! With intercourse maybe 50-100 sperm make it to the tubes, so I'm holding on to hope!
 
Wishn, those numbers sound great to me! With that good of motility good chance the perfect one will make it! Sorry to hear you're cramping. I'm starting to wonder if I actually do have a high pain tolerance, a lot if people have mentioned cramping and I hardly noticed it, just when to catheter went it and that was it. Maybe I have crampy periods too and just don't notice it, lol (no complaints if that is the case!)
 

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