Sneaking back in...

[BelleNuit]

Beany this whole cycle feels like it flew by at super speed! I know I O on the early side do that's part of it too, but even the TWW seems to be flying by.

Time seems faster and slower when TTC lol

Those last few days waiting for AF to show or not are the toughest. Hang in there Beany!

Absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder So today is the anniversary of the day we first met 9 years ago. I wouldn't have remembered except for that we added each other onto Facebook that very first day and I got a reminder this morning I went to DH and whispered in his ear that today was a very special day. Poor guy asked if I was pregnant lol.

 

[MrsBeany85]

Oh that's so sweet, happy meet-day anniversary! Your DH sounds like he's eagerly anticipating a bfp too. Might be a silly question but will DH know when you're going to test or will you just do it and then tell him if it's a bfp?

Time goes crazy when ttc. If I'm not getting a bfp this cycle then I just want af to hurry up and get here so I can get on with making the next cycle work

 

[BelleNuit]

I find testing to be so incredibly stressful that I don't do it anymore. The next test I take will be after AF is late and DH and I will watch it together so that he can experience test anxiety too! Lol

Time really does go crazy when TTC. Well at the very least Beany, neither of us has a long time to wait anymore

 

[MissDoc]

Seems like it's the last stretch of the TWW for a few of us. Beany, I hope yours wraps up soon (preferably with a BFP of course). Belle, hopefully your spotting stays away this time!

DH doesn't know when/how often I test. He's a more, "just the facts, ma'am" kind of guy, so I prefer to just tell him when or if we get a BFP rather than have him anxious about testing. About a week after the fertile window he starts asking when we'll know something, and he's always a little bummed when I tell him I've started cramping or I know AF is coming. So I don't want to have him be on as much of a rollercoaster as I am.

Speaking of AF, mine still isn't here in full swing. It feels like any freaking moment now it'll be here though. But I bet it won't come until tomorrow, which means I'll need to change my lab date from Monday. Grrr. That's fine. I'll just do it Tuesday instead I suppose if I need to. Just so ready move along with it! Today is 13 dpo for me, which is about the length of my average luteal phase, so likely tomorrow it is.

I'm mostly feeling in limbo right now. Not as upset as I was a few days ago when I wasn't sure if I was out or still in. Just sort of, in the middle. I'm in that place where I know I'm out, and there is absolutely nothing to be done about anything TTC related right now. Just waiting for AF to get here then move on so I can get back to the "active" phases of the cycle where it feels like I can do something.

 

[MrsBeany85]

Belle I got to the point where I was the same, too stressful to test so would just wait on af, but it could be hard some cycles with not knowing how long I was going to be waiting. My longest cycle so far was 65 days and I tested a few times then!

Doc I'm sorry af is going to change your plans. Hoping you can get on with testing and getting back into the active phase again. That's how I'm feeling right now, kind of redundant knowing that there's nothing I can do to influence things right now. But I'm not really feeling down about it, just impatient. I

 

[BelleNuit]

Doc that's a frustrating place to be! I will keep my fingers crossed extra tight that you'll get your bfp regardless this cycle, but I trust that you know yourself well, and sometimes you just "know"

Beany, I'm also hoping that you aren't out yet either! In a way it is kind of nice that we are all testing together!

You ladies are a few days ahead of me. 9 dpo is a great time in my cycle because my temps are usually still on their way up. My mood starts to crash right as my temps start to go down.... coincidence? i don't think so, lol.

I'm not getting excited about this month, but I'm not depressed either. I'm not really thinking about it as much as I have in the past if I'm honest!

 

[2ducks]

Belle- your poor husband thought you were pregnant?! You have to admit that is a little funny...

MissDoc- I hate the waiting when you KNOW af is coming. Of course everyone says you're not out till AF shows, which is technically true, but we all know how our bodies feel before AF. I get a heavy dull feeling in my lady parts and I know its about to start! I hope things start moving for you so you can start a brand new chart page.

Belle- I'm not as excited this month either. I feel really good about our timing but I'm not overly anxious or anything. In June I was on medical leave for a month so I didn't have much else to do besides obsess with ttc. Now that I am back at work and we are having fun doing summer things I am totally distracted.

 

[BelleNuit]

Well temp crashed this AM. I'm pretty sure I'm out at this point. Just a matter of time for AF to show. It's possible I O'd earlier so AF might be here early.

FML I am SO angry. I'm terrified we will never have a baby and it's unfair! Un-effing-fair !!!!!!!!!

I know cognitively that it's not been long enough for lifestyle changes to have worked yet. We are still dealing with stupid sperm and stupid eggs right now. But that doesn't make this any less frustrating.

 

[2ducks]

Belle- I am so sorry that this cycle didn't pan out. Sometimes I want to give up temping and OPKs and just have no idea whats going on.

Alright universe, someone on this thread needs a BFP already to give the rest of us hope!

 

[MrsBeany85]

Belle I'm so sorry your feeling that way, but I can completely sympathise. It feels like it shouldn't be this hard so why the hell can't it just happen already. And I agree 2ducks, I think I try and read what I want to into all these results and charts, etc, if you see what I mean (as I think has happened this cycle - think I've totally messed up and think I'm actually o'ing this weekend, not last weekend. Totally embarrassed and feel like I have no clue what I'm talking about!)

I was thinking the other day, what must it have been like for say my mum's generation ttc? I don't think they even had hpts let alone opks and stuff. Wonder if that made it more or less stressful?

 

[Pleasance]

Beany - don't beat yourself up over not knowing for sure when you Od. Most of us are here still learning things about ourselves, especially since some of us have irregular cycles. I can't believe how much I didn't know about CM and temping just 6 months ago and I'm sure I'll learn loads more before its all over.

AF hit me this morning. My temp started dropping yesterday so I knew it was coming. Still kind of stinks even when your prepared.

 

[BelleNuit]

I think in our mom's generation people tended to TTC much earlier which may have made things somewhat easier. My mom was one of those teens who got pregnant by accident lol. As a result I thought my whole life that pregnancy would happen the FIRST time you did it without protection! I wish I could be that naive again lol.

My maternal grandma had a tough time getting pregnant though. She was married at 17 and didn't have her first live baby until her mid-20s despite trying right away. She believes she had pcos which was never diagnosed. Sadly her first 2 children were stillborn. I've only been struggling with TTC a fraction of the time she did, and already I can't imagine having to go through all of that. And yet she did.

On the flipside, my paternal grandmother had 11 children, and likely a number of miscarriages in between. So I definitely was deceived into thinking it would be easy!

I'm thinking about trying out baby aspirin next cycle. Its supposed to help with implantation and forming a healthy lining. I was going to give it a go this cycle, but thought that would be too many changes at once.

 

[BelleNuit]

Pleasance, I am so sorry AF got you Even when you are prepared it's still a blow every time.

 

[Pleasance]

Thanks Belle. i can only wish I had the fertility gene the rest of my family got. Grandma had mom at 17, mom had sister at 18, and sister had her first at 19. I just can't help but ask the gods "What Gives!?!"

 

[BelleNuit]

Pleasance thats exactly how I feel! A lot of my cousins have 5 or 6+ kids... there are 6 or more (i lost track) babies being born into my family this year alone! Not to mention my dad and his wife accidentally got pregnant a few years ago, she was 39 and he was 41 and she had an IUD and he had a vasectomy. like WTH! lol

Everyone around me seems to get pregnant super easily! I feel like DH and I are doing it wrong somehow lol.

I am glad that I have you ladies to vent to!

 

[MissDoc]

I feel you ladies on the everyone gets pregnant so easily thing! Every single woman in my family had all of her kids before age 24. Seriously. Usually multiple children between 16-24. :-/ So being in my 30s and having a first kid is totally unprecedented in my family.

Sorry AF got you Pleasance! It got me too.

Beany, if you're o'ing now, hopefully it's a good strong ovulation and you catch the little eggo. No shame in mixing things up, this TTC stuff can be totally wacky sometimes and the signs don't always line up so perfectly.

Ducks, I'm the same way. Once a certain type of crampy feeling sets in, I just know without a doubt that AF is on her way. Nice that you're staying busy with fun stuff this month!

Belle, hugs for the frustration. I see your temps are back up though! That's promising!

AFM, AF came late Saturday night so I counted Sunday as CD1, which means no labs today. Will try to reschedule for tomorrow. This period is a beast too. Very heavy and crampy. Bleh!

 

[BelleNuit]

Oh no Doc, I'm sorry AF showed and that it hit with such force! Evening/night time AFs are the worst! I'm hoping your labs give you something meaningful to go off of! maybe there will be an easy fix!

My temp did have a pretty big spike this morning, which is pretty unusual for this time in my cycle. I'm cautiously optimistic! I've had triphasic charts and "implantation dips" on previous charts that didn't amount to much. Its hard not to get sucked into that whirlwind of hope when you have a chart that looks so positive though! Already I've started fantasizing about what I would tell my parents (since we are visiting them this weekend).... which is a dangerous thing to start thinking about at this point. Its too early, anything could happen. I could end up pretty disappointed at the end of it all and feeling dumb that I let myself believe that this could be it!

BUT, I'll remain cautiously optimistic for now beats cautiously pessimistic lol

 

[2ducks]

Belle, I am trying so hard not to get caught up in the "dip" I had this morning in my temps. I spent about 20 minutes browsing implantation dips charts on FF this morning while I drank my coffee. Then I started looking at baby gear online! I snapped myself out of it and got back to getting ready for work.

Pleasance- Sorry AF came, positive thoughts and energy for next cycle!

 

[BelleNuit]

2ducks I'm glad it's not just me who reads into LP temps too much!! It's so hard to keep the enthusiasm contained! Now I'm imagining that I feel "heavier" somehow. Lordy TTC plays with your mind

 

[WishnandHopn]

Pleasance and Miss Doc...so sorry the witch got you. Sending you both positive vibes for a new cycle and another chance!

Beany, yay for O'ing! Hope you caught that egg!

Belle I so hope this is the beginning of a beautiful triphasic chart for you!

2ducks...I hope it really is an implantation dip! I had 2 dips once...I let myself imagine that it could mean TWINS!

I'm back from a lovely weekend away where I hardly thought about TTC at all. Back to real life...9 dpo...no interesting symptoms and it's too early to test or start analysing by body for signs that AF is coming. I wish I could be one of those oblivious women who just wake up one day and realize, Oh dear my period is a whole week late!