SO broody, should I try and have a baby?

[Heather.1987]

.

 

[Monkey monkey]

Im sorry but thats just nonsense, if you're of the opinion that getting married comes before children then thats your choice but its by no means a 'bigger' commitment than having a child.

Marriage is just a piece of paper that from experience means nothing and is a pain in the ass to get out of. I was previously like you thinking that marriage before children was the 'appropriate' way to do things but have since learned that's a load of rubbish.

Finding the right partner is the main thing before having a child, most certainly doesn't mean you need to be married to them

If you guys talk about commitment, get married first! If youre not ready for that step, then youre not ready for a baby. A baby really need a mommy and a daddy in a strong committed relationship aka marriage. I know there are many single mommas out there doing a great job, but research shows a baby does so much better having both there! Im not against age, just not being married first.

 

[Heather.1987]

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[Monkey monkey]

Im sorry but thats just nonsense, if you're of the opinion that getting married comes before children then thats your choice but its by no means a 'bigger' commitment than having a child.

Marriage is just a piece of paper that from experience means nothing and is a pain in the ass to get out of. I was previously like you thinking that marriage before children was the 'appropriate' way to do things but have since learned that's a load of rubbish.

Finding the right partner is the main thing before having a child, most certainly doesn't mean you need to be married to them

If you guys talk about commitment, get married first! If youre not ready for that step, then youre not ready for a baby. A baby really need a mommy and a daddy in a strong committed relationship aka marriage. I know there are many single mommas out there doing a great job, but research shows a baby does so much bett

er having both there! Im not against age, just not being married first.

Im sorry you dont see the importance and commitment of a long term relationship in marriage. It should be the most important relationship here on earth and the best circumstance for a baby in a happy and healthy, committed marriage relationship.

Each to their own opinion however its not that I 'don't see' the importance and commitment of a long term relationship in marriage, its that it isn't there. You appear a tad blinkered to the world around you, there are millions and millions of fantastic parents in the world married, unmarried or otherwise hence your point is essentially flawed.

 

[Heather.1987]

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[cookette]

Do you live on your own or with your oh and pay all your own bills? Do you have health insurance? Do you want to complete college? And can you have a baby without having to seek government support to afford it?

Only you can answer, but I personally think you should be able to support yourself in all ways before taking charge of another's life. And not everyone wants college but if you do, itd be a lot easier to do now. Good luck in whatever you decide

 

[Monkey monkey]

Just because there are millions of people out there doing something, it doesnt make it right.

Unbelievable, go out there and get some life experience.......

 

[cookette]

I don't think Heather was saying youre not a good parent if you aren't married. I didn't see that at all in anything she wrote. I think her point was before a huge commitment of a child you should consider your commitment to who you are wanting a child with. With Heather that means marriage. I see way too many posts on here of oh's and FOB's who jump ship or skate out I think its a very real concern to question your relationship with a critical eye before such a huge step.

 

[Heather.1987]

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[Heather.1987]

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[Monkey monkey]

Just because there are millions of people out there doing something, it doesnt make it right.

Unbelievable, go out there and get some life experience.......

Life experience with what? I know what goes on, doesnt make it right. I cant believe people are getting upset over a pro marriage person here. Get some morals.

I cannot continue to reply to someone quite so narrow minded as yourself so good luck to you and good bye, perhaps one day you'll wake up and smell the roses

 

[jessthemess]

Lets be supportive and open minded.

 

[Monkey monkey]

Lets be supportive and open minded.

Sorry Jess, it just irritates me when people can't appreciate that people live their lives in different ways and have different morals. I'm not anti-marriage but the world is a much bigger, diverse and exciting place to consider that's the only thing to do before having a child.... You could be married and be a complete idiot so does that mean its fine to go and have a child? I'm guessing no so the bigger picture is to be considered and of course variety is the spice of life!!

 

[Heather.1987]

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[jessthemess]

Lets be supportive and open minded.

Sorry Jess, it just irritates me when people can't appreciate that people live their lives in different ways and have different morals. I'm not anti-marriage but the world is a much bigger, diverse and exciting place to consider that's the only thing to do before having a child.... You could be married and be a complete idiot so does that mean its fine to go and have a child? I'm guessing no so the bigger picture is to be considered and of course variety is the spice of life!!

I reported this thread a day ago because I knew it was going to get hot button. My request for supportive and open minded communication was to everyone, so no need for sorry Monkey, wasn't just at you, but all of us, even me.



BnB is full of many different types of families and people and we should be open minded to all of them.

There are many different types of life experiences and all worthwhile.

Moral is defined as behaving with right conduct. What is 'right' is personal, and dear to many of us. That our morals are different from the person standing next to us, does not make them any less right.

Children who grow up in single parent households, and traditional households, are equally loved and healthy and happy and good.

Lets just be accepting girls Try to keep our language polite and open to people with all beliefs and ideas.

 

[Heather.1987]

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[xxxjessxxx]

This thread doesn't need to get out of hand ladies, we've all had different upbringings and will bring our children up to our beliefs and morals. No one is wrong in what they are saying, just respect that others see things differently too.
At the end of the day, married or not married, job or no job, house or no house, I think we all agree the main thing a baby needs is love, understanding and support... these three things are free. I know many people prioritise what is more important, but lets stick to these three foundations first. And whoever wants to go about these in different orders, so be it We are all different and have different beliefs

 

[jessthemess]

Whats the point of asking or posting things if were only suppossed to be supportive and agree with the posters? Sometimes people do disagree or have other opinions, its ok. I think its rediculous we get reported as soon as we disagree with someone. Sometimes people are making bad choices...sometimes its not necessarily good to be "open minded"....it can be a good thing to have a strong view point one way or another. I feel like its hard to get real honest answers on bnb because it always seems no matter what the issue were only supposed to agree with the posters.

There is a difference between respectfully explaining our opinions to others and making others feel like their opinion is wrong. We don't have to agree. We do need to be supportive and open minded.

There's a way to debate and give advice and still be supportive and open minded. You can believe what you believe, and talk about it, without making others believe they are wrong.

So I'm not advising us to not express our differing opinions. I'm asking that we all find a way to express our opinions without hurting one another.

Besides, when we are sharing our differing opinions, we are doing it to make others understand why or how we feel the way that we do, correct? But if we do that in a manner that gives people hurt feelings or is offensive, than all we actually accomplish is the creation of an argument and the building of a wall.

Furthermore BnB requires that we are supportive and open minded.

 

[Monkey monkey]

Lets be supportive and open minded.

Sorry Jess, it just irritates me when people can't appreciate that people live their lives in different ways and have different morals. I'm not anti-marriage but the world is a much bigger, diverse and exciting place to consider that's the only thing to do before having a child.... You could be married and be a complete idiot so does that mean its fine to go and have a child? I'm guessing no so the bigger picture is to be considered and of course variety is the spice of life!!

I reported this thread a day ago because I knew it was going to get hot button. My request for supportive and open minded communication was to everyone, so no need for sorry Monkey, wasn't just at you, but all of us, even me.



BnB is full of many different types of families and people and we should be open minded to all of them.

There are many different types of life experiences and all worthwhile.

Moral is defined as behaving with right conduct. What is 'right' is personal, and dear to many of us. That our morals are different from the person standing next to us, does not make them any less right.

Children who grow up in single parent households, and traditional households, are equally loved and healthy and happy and good.

Lets just be accepting girls Try to keep our language polite and open to people with all beliefs and ideas.

Here here Jess!!

 

[emalou90]

And just because millions of people out there AREN'T doing it doesn't make it wrong to NOT be married