So upset -how do I get myself mixed up in these things? OT and LONG!

Discussion in 'Pregnancy - Second Trimester' started by Belle30, Aug 25, 2009.

  1. Belle30

    Belle30 Mummy to a baby boy

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  2. myasmumma

    myasmumma Mummy to Mya and Kacen

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    i mean this in the nicest possible way but fuck her......shes probably jelous because you were married first and now pregnant first and probably got the best brother lol shes just sounds like a petty child
     
  3. daisyfairy

    daisyfairy Well-Known Member

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    just text her back "f*&$ off and grow up!!" go on, your allowed, your pregnant!!!x
     
  4. nov_mum

    nov_mum Well-Known Member

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    Family huh? You can't pick them that's for sure. It sounds like you were always going to be the bad guys in her eyes. You can either distance yourselves and let them seethe away in their negativity or can be the bigger person in it all and keep your nose clean and present a happy image even if you secretly want to slap her. If you want to keep it nicey nice then maybe txt her and tell her you are sorry she felt that way etc but it wasn't your intention to be rude blah blah and make sure the rest of the family are aware that she was annoyed but you have sorted it out etc and it was all a misunderstanding. Otherwise forget about her and her issues. You have a lovely man and a precious wee baby on the way and no time for dramas. Good luck!
     
  5. Buffy71

    Buffy71 Mummy to Harriet!

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    Its very sad when people are determined to be arsey with you. You've hit the nail on the head though, as its clearly jealousy. I think the fact its taken them 2 years to find something to grouch about should make you proud of who you are!

    There's no pleasing some people - just be confident that you have done the best you could for all this time.

    Big hugs honey - I'm sorry you're upset by these sad little people.

    :hugs:
    x
     
  6. Buffy71

    Buffy71 Mummy to Harriet!

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:

    Thats what I meant to say!!
     
  7. Bunnipowder

    Bunnipowder Well-Known Member

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    :hugs: I would mention the fact she didnt greet you and make it obvious why you didnt feel the need to say bye or just be polite and say she looked busy so you didnt want to interupt make her feel silly.
     
  8. daisydoo

    daisydoo Mummy to Oliver & Amelia

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    sweetheart forget her, and don't waste any more brain space thinking about her - you have lovely things to be thinking about right now don't let her cloud it up for you xxx
     
  9. kayleigh&bump

    kayleigh&bump Mum to Finnley & TTC #2

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    just wanted to offer some :hugs: :) Some people are bitter and twisted, i have many of them in my family myself!! If she hasnt got anything nice to say, then i would have nothing to do with her. You dont need stresses like that at the moment. Good luck whatever you decide to do xx
     
  10. jmac

    jmac Well-Known Member

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    She sounds very immature and as though she's not got enough in her own life when she's got time to be so petty about you getting on and doing well in yours.

    The best thing you can do (easy to say) is rise above it, focus on your DH and baby and let her eat cake. Silly, silly girl.

    Chin up.
     
  11. becky77

    becky77 mum & 3rd tri

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    Oh hunny ignore her she sounds like a rude jealous trouble making cowbag , dont let the likes of her get you down , you have tried your best and she seems to want to be spiteful regardless ,so dont waste any more tears on that witch. She is prob jealous cos your pregnant and she is not .sending you hugs xxxx
     
  12. MotherBear

    MotherBear Baby No 4 on way

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    To be honest I would text her back and thank her for her observation on what is meant to be the best day of her life. I would remind her that I had said bye to her hubby and she was nowhere in sight and would add "just wanted to thank you belatedly for your congratulations on our pregnancy".

    She is clearly jealous of you, wow......oh youuuuu, I wanna be like youuuuuu, I wanna walk like you, talk like youuuuuu. Pathetic.
     
  13. Belle30

    Belle30 Mummy to a baby boy

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    Thanks - actually that's more or less what I did say in a text back to her! I tried to call her first but she wouldn't answer her phone. I said sorry it had upset her that much, it wasn't our intention but we were a bit disappointed that she hadn't greeted us or said congratulations on the baby. And that she seemed so busy that we didn't even think she'd notice we'd gone! I ended it nicely, saying I hoped it looked a bit different now, take care etc. But she hasn't answered and I don't think they'll ever speak to us again, and I'll always be bitch from hell!

    Funny thing is, DH was more annoyed by her at the time than I was, and he said to just leave and not bother with her - and if I'd tried to find her myself she'd have had nothing to moan about (only DH, and she wouldn't have dared)
     
  14. QTPie

    QTPie Well-Known Member

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    Hi Belle

    Some people are idiots and NO MATTER WAHT YOU DO (to please them), they will always find an excuse to be nasty to you.

    Just "let them be" and get on with your lives. No special efforts, just go about your business normally. You have tried so much...

    Now, THE most important thing is NOT to let it get to you. I know, easier said than done... but that is probably what she is aiming for (for some ridiculous reason), so why give her the satisfaction? :hugs:

    You have a LOVELY husband, a grogeous baby on the way and everything to be happy about, so why let her upset you? :hugs:

    Honestly, ignore her - the best way. xxx
     
  15. MotherBear

    MotherBear Baby No 4 on way

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    Instead of being upset, see this as a compliment as clearly she likes your company..........It's no wonder your DH keeps them at arms length...Let them call you at least they are leaving someone else alone.....
     
  16. franny_k

    franny_k Mummy to Grace and Jude

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    Personally, I'd just ignore her and her ridiculously immature and selfish response. You have more important things to worry about and you might risk escalating this into something more - even though it is not your fault. I agree with some of the other posters- she's simply jealous. If you give her ammunition by responding then you might risk being painted as something that you're not. If you don't respond or just respond neutrally and then get on with your life then you're the dignified one. People like this just don't deserve your time or attention: they thrive on gossip and petty little mind games. I know that it's hard and really you'd probably like to tell her to go f**k herself but in reality it could make things even worse. Accept them for who they are: selfish and petty. You're the ones with a fabulous marriage built on truth and honesty which will ensure that your child(ren) are brought up with the right values!

    Good luck x :hugs:
     
  17. hivechild

    hivechild Mummy to Ronan

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    Screw her. It just goes to show what kind of person she is that on a day that is meant to be one of the happiest days of her life, all she could do was be petty and vindictive and walk around with a chip on her shoulder. Pleasant.
     
  18. redpoppy

    redpoppy Well-Known Member

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    I think I've had similar experiences with certain family members and the point is, as a woman, most of us have this innate need for people to like us and be liked and be thought of as a nice person and it can actually be a little traumatic having to deal LONG TERM with someone ho isn't going to like you NO MATTER what you do.

    Since it is family, my advice, and what I suppose has worked for me after so many years is to let them be and to give up on them. Don't expect that great relationship, if they ever get round to sorting their own heads out then maybe you can reassess the situation. but to keep things as mellow and relaxed for all (remember your parents in law will prob. be very upset if there was huge drama or fall out etc.) just be your nice and lovely self and try not to get baited into any arguments. Have low expectations of them and just be you. Eventually, people will realise they are the lunatics and you are the lovely people that you are. :thumbup:

    Secondly: Adopt one of my best friends mantras: "it's not my f*cking problem!" because it isn't. It's their problem and don't let them make it your problem. Don't get baited. She's upset on her HAPPIEST day because people she hardly knows and ISN'T close to didn't say goodbye to her? *AHEM!!!* Not your f*cking problem!!!!! It's obviously hers. Stupid drama queen b*tch!

    I think you dealt with it very well but next time be as brief as possible they obviously have issues. Just don't even bring up stuff that can cause things to escalate. At some point, when you become like that, people realise they're not going to get that drama and reaction from you that they subconsciously need and that they may as well fester in their own petty misery and leave you alone. Which, unless they get psychiatric help, is the best possible outcome for you.

    Sorry to be so negative and not optimistic but I had about 6 years of something similar, very painful followed by another two years of the PAIN and misery when I decided to give up on trying to make things better and having to deal with the people I do love and care about but who are SO self involved and who cannot help being ev*l because of their own messed up heads that they do NOTHING but cause damage and destruction and cancerous misery towards me and people I care about. I think my situation was a little more tragic because it involved kids too so I wonder how you guys will deal with that. best of luck! :hugs:
     
  19. EmmanBump

    EmmanBump Guest

    Oh hun :cry:
    it sounds like ur the matture one, and i think everybody knws this, just ignore her, shes not worth ur tears or ur emotions, sounds like ur gonan have a lil lovely family, shes just jelous
    chin up :hugs:
     
  20. Mrs Dot

    Mrs Dot Mummy to Harry

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    Some people just can't see others being happy can they? It seems as though the majority of replies have already hit the nail on the head in saying that your bil and sil both seem like spoilt, petty, jealous children. So what if you get married/have kids first?! you can't plan your lives around everyone else!

    I would just carry on being ultra nice and pleasant to them - as hard as it may seem then you can't be seen to be in the wrong from anyone's pov! chin up and go buy some baby clothes! that'll cheer you up! xxx
     

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