So what does everyone think about working Mums?

[ShanandBoc]

I think it just means being a parent in its self is full time regardless, like if you are at home then you dont get a scheduled break etc, I dont think people mean working is easier but do you kind of get what I mean, if you go to work, your still a full time mum but if you dont well then you dont get a break so therefore still a full time mum. It can be a job in itself.

Most babies nap. If they didn't there wouldn't be so many posts in babyclub. Yes, it's hard but I hate when people bring up the 'break' arguement. It's kind of silly. I'd give up my break at work to stay at home everyday and do fun things

My DD sleeps 12 hrs straight at night so barely sleeps at all during the day so i dont really get a break at all.....

 

[ShanandBoc]

I get irritatated by the 'being a mum is a full time job' comments, as if I am a part time parent? There are 168 hours in a week and for 23 of them, my daughter is in nursery. There she gets to socialise with other children and play with more toys and fab equipment than we can fit in the house. The rest of the time mr foo and I are the ones who make sure she is taken care of. Is that something less than full time?

I 100% agree with you. I really dislike the whole 'being a mum is a fulltime job'. A working parent goes to a paid job, and comes home and does the same things as a SAHM Only difference is we don't get as much free time to spend with our LOs. I work for money, nothing else and if I could afford to stay at home, I probably would. That being said, nursery does have it's own benefits.

Yeh but while u are at work someone else is looking after your child. While u are at work a SAHM is looking after their child all day so i dont think u can say one works harder than the other. They are both a full time job.

 

[ttc_lolly]

I don't think that one is necessarily harder than the other. Both have their stresses and strains and different people will more suited to one or the other. I don't have a problem with those who can support themselves and make that choice. I do have a problem with those who think they have the god given right to make that choice and expect the taxpayer to support them. And with those who decideto berate me for choosing not to.

WSS

 

[Blah11]

I get irritatated by the 'being a mum is a full time job' comments, as if I am a part time parent? There are 168 hours in a week and for 23 of them, my daughter is in nursery. There she gets to socialise with other children and play with more toys and fab equipment than we can fit in the house. The rest of the time mr foo and I are the ones who make sure she is taken care of. Is that something less than full time?

I 100% agree with you. I really dislike the whole 'being a mum is a fulltime job'. A working parent goes to a paid job, and comes home and does the same things as a SAHM Only difference is we don't get as much free time to spend with our LOs. I work for money, nothing else and if I could afford to stay at home, I probably would. That being said, nursery does have it's own benefits.

Yeh but while u are at work someone else is looking after your child. While u are at work a SAHM is looking after their child all day so i dont think u can say one works harder than the other. They are both a full time job.

yes exactly, someone else is looking after her. Do you not think I'd rather it was ME looking after her everyday? besides, SAHMs get time to do random errands, chores etc I have to do mine after a days work whilst I have amelie anyway

 

[ShanandBoc]

True, but Like i said its not a competition

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I suppose you may or may not have more time to do stuff if you are a SAHM or not. The stay at home thing may not mean literally. I dont think I spend most of my time actually at home! Most days I am helping at the school or my support group so I will still do housework after I have picked them up from school!

Obviously there was a time when they were not at school and I loved it (mostly!), now I hate the fact they are at school, time flies SO much and I am glad I got to spend that time with them. I know its not always possible (esp in current climate) but we all make the choices we think are best.

I think both are as hard but I do stand by a mum being a full time job in itself so if you also work then hats off to you but its not a "who is a better parent" argument to me x

 

[indy and lara]

I think both are as hard but I do stand by a mum being a full time job in itself so if you also work then hats off to you but its not a "who is a better parent" argument to me x

I agree, it is not a competition. We all do what we believe is right and best for our families. What is right and best for one person would not necessarily fit another.

I think there can often be a misconception that SAHMs stay in on their bum all day or are at Costa drinking coffee. This is what always bugs me as it is pretty relentless, especially at different stages when LOs are more challenging. I do all the running of our house- the cleaning, ironing, shopping, gerdening, I cook every meal from scratch etc and also look after Emma. OH does not do any of this as he works long hours and I see it as part of my job as a SAHM. When she goes down at night I am often still doing bits and pieces that I haven't been able to do during the day as I have been busy with Emma.

If I was back at work then we would be sharing the running of the house but as it is, it is just part of my job as a SAHM. I don't know if 'full-time carer' would be a more acceptable term?

 

[ShanandBoc]

Exactly, some people get paid to do all the jobs mums do for free, so does that make them any less of a job because we arent on an hourly wage? I dont believe it does.

But i do believe its the most rewarding job in the world (for me anyway) xxx

 

[Foogirl]

The term 'full time carer' or 'primary carer' (which is the term an at home dad I know uses) is not only insulting to women who work outside the home, but also to the working partner, as if their role is a secondary one.

And to suggest my role is any less rewarding because for twenty odd hours I choose to do something else with my time......? Not sure about that either.

Why is it so important to give it a lable? If YOU think that YOU are doing the best thing for YOUR family, that's all that counts. So what if some people think you sit on your backside and drink coffee. I daresay there are many folk who work outside the home for whom this is true also.

It seems this 'political correctness' in finding a job title is always going to wind someone up. I don't think there is one parent out there who would argue bringing up a child, whether you have another job or not, isn't one of the hardest, yet most rewarding things to do in life. Anyone who thinks or says otherwise is probably not a parent and definitely isn't worth wasting time thinking about.

 

[ShanandBoc]

And to suggest my role is any less rewarding because for twenty odd hours I choose to do something else with my time......? Not sure about that either.

.

ftr, i never said that, im simply saying that being a mum is the most rewarding job in the world, i think we would all agree. I said 'for me' as its my only one, and i know many have very rewarding careers etc. Doesnt mean that their role as a mother is less rewarding cause they work outside the home too

 

[Hayley90]

Whats strange, is that when this thread was active months back, these same comments came up then too... its old tbh.

The only SAHMs i know have an awful lot more free time to do simple things that i dont get to - like going to Tesco. Or the bank. Or popping in to see someones new baby at lunch time. I have to do EVERYTHING after the hours of 8.30pm when i get home... or at the weekends which is when i choose to be with Harrison.

Those same SAHMs DO have time to go to Costa. They also have time to have a conversation with their friends, or speak on the phone whilst NOT juggling something else. I dont have that luxury.

So... i still believe that overall a SAHM has a more laid back day, it might well be full of 200+ tasks, but they can be done in your own time, with no boss breathing down your neck.

 

[ShanandBoc]

The term 'full time carer' or 'primary carer' (which is the term an at home dad I know uses) is not only insulting to women who work outside the home, but also to the working partner, as if their role is a secondary one.

Actually 'primary carer' is the term our government uses for a parent that stays home full time to look after children. Its descriptive of what u do, i dont think its meant to be insulting at all

 

[ShanandBoc]

So... i still believe that overall a SAHM has a more laid back day, it might well be full of 200+ tasks, but they can be done in your own time, with no boss breathing down your neck.

True, you just have a baby dictating what you do with your time instead

 

[Foogirl]

The term 'full time carer' or 'primary carer' (which is the term an at home dad I know uses) is not only insulting to women who work outside the home, but also to the working partner, as if their role is a secondary one.

Actually 'primary carer' is the term our government uses for a parent that stays home full time to look after children. Its descriptive of what u do, i dont think its meant to be insulting at all

The same is true of our government. I still don't like it. The term 'housewife' was never supposed to be insulting. They still changed it though! This is my point though. Someone is always going to find devalue in PC terminology.

 

[indy and lara]

The term 'full time carer' or 'primary carer' (which is the term an at home dad I know uses) is not only insulting to women who work outside the home, but also to the working partner, as if their role is a secondary one.

And to suggest my role is any less rewarding because for twenty odd hours I choose to do something else with my time......? Not sure about that either.

Why is it so important to give it a lable? If YOU think that YOU are doing the best thing for YOUR family, that's all that counts. So what if some people think you sit on your backside and drink coffee. I daresay there are many folk who work outside the home for whom this is true also.

It seems this 'political correctness' in finding a job title is always going to wind someone up. I don't think there is one parent out there who would argue bringing up a child, whether you have another job or not, isn't one of the hardest, yet most rewarding things to do in life. Anyone who thinks or says otherwise is probably not a parent and definitely isn't worth wasting time thinking about.

If someone asks I say I am a full time mum. As that seems to upset people here, I was wondering what is preferable. I don't see how the term 'full time carer' is offensive. Seriously I don't. It is what I do. I take care of her all day. She is not is nursery so I care for her.

My husband is not Emma's full time carer. He is not here for most of the time that she is awake and is not caring or looking after her during those time. That does not mean he is less of a parent and I certainly did not say that, nor do I think it.

As I said already, if I have things to do that I haven't had time to do during the day then I am doing them at night too. The same as everyone else. I do not feel the need to have a label attached to my daily actvities and I am happy with how we do things. As I already said, I know what we do is best for us. I do object when people think that I sit and do nothing all day but drink coffee. Misconceptions are always irritating when they are directed at you.

 

[indy and lara]

The term 'full time carer' or 'primary carer' (which is the term an at home dad I know uses) is not only insulting to women who work outside the home, but also to the working partner, as if their role is a secondary one.

Actually 'primary carer' is the term our government uses for a parent that stays home full time to look after children. Its descriptive of what u do, i dont think its meant to be insulting at all

The same is true of our government. I still don't like it. The term 'housewife' was never supposed to be insulting. They still changed it though! This is my point though. Someone is always going to find devalue in PC terminology.

Don't have a problem with housewife but it is not used these days really.

 

[ShanandBoc]

Im proud to be a housewife. I dont care what label im given. x Its what i do that matters! x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Whats wrong with full time carer? I technically am as even as a single mum (which I am not) I wouldn't be forced into work as I am a full time carer to my son who has autism.

Before they started school I honestly didn't have time to breathe. I only got that time back last year when R started full time school. I found being a SAHM challenging and I def didn't go ANYWHERE to lunch or with friends with M around, lets just say he was a challenging toddler lol. I didn't have any kind of life of luxury at all!

I dont see what's offensive about Full-time carer?

I think I WOULD like to have a career in some ways, but its not possible at the moment. I wont rule it out though and if I did happen to have a nice carerr and Mother Nature threw me another baby, I probably would keep my job up and work part time. I dont know...I doubt that would happen anyway to be fair.

I dont regret it though. I feel like I am needed at home more right now.

 

[Foogirl]

How about 'home manager'. I'd be happy to say I do that part time!

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I always just say full time mum in all honesty if people ask. I dont mean to offend anyone, I have never thought about it being offensive, Its just what I say :/