So what does everyone think about working Mums?

[kirmal12]

I'll try rewording it as it came out wrong sorry!. For example, a friend of mine works in a top nursery, her LO is the same age as mine. When we get together as a big group I've seen how she is with the LO's, perfectly acceptable but not how I'd like my LO to be spoken too or treated.

How is that caused by her working though? And just because she talks to her LO doesn't meen she talkes to the children in her care. My LO is going to be cared for by her dad and my mum. If it was good enough for her it's good enough for her

I'm not saying it's caused by her working, she looks after babies for a living, she is a lovely girl BUT, for me personally i would not want my child to be spoken to or treated the way they treat them. It's not in a bad way, just the way i will parent.

i have apologised and i will again, i worded it very wrong and i wasn't trying to be offensive. A couple of comments got my back up and i should have walked away like i always do on here. Off course all Mum's are Mum's 100% of the time that i agree with but i don't want someone telling my child off for not sharing toys when he is only 1 year old!

 

[babyblog]

I'll try rewording it as it came out wrong sorry!. For example, a friend of mine works in a top nursery, her LO is the same age as mine. When we get together as a big group I've seen how she is with the LO's, perfectly acceptable but not how I'd like my LO to be spoken too or treated.

How is that caused by her working though? And just because she talks to her LO doesn't meen she talkes to the children in her care. My LO is going to be cared for by her dad and my mum. If it was good enough for her it's good enough for her

I'm not saying it's caused by her working, she looks after babies for a living, she is a lovely girl BUT, for me personally i would not want my child to be spoken to or treated the way they treat them. It's not in a bad way, just the way i will parent.

i have apologised and i will again, i worded it very wrong and i wasn't trying to be offensive. A couple of comments got my back up and i should have walked away like i always do on here. Off course all Mum's are Mum's 100% of the time that i agree with but i don't want someone telling my child off for not sharing toys when he is only 1 year old!

Not all working mums use nurseries either though.A stranger doesn't tell my LO off, my mum does it

 

[kirmal12]

I'll try rewording it as it came out wrong sorry!. For example, a friend of mine works in a top nursery, her LO is the same age as mine. When we get together as a big group I've seen how she is with the LO's, perfectly acceptable but not how I'd like my LO to be spoken too or treated.

How is that caused by her working though? And just because she talks to her LO doesn't meen she talkes to the children in her care. My LO is going to be cared for by her dad and my mum. If it was good enough for her it's good enough for her

I'm not saying it's caused by her working, she looks after babies for a living, she is a lovely girl BUT, for me personally i would not want my child to be spoken to or treated the way they treat them. It's not in a bad way, just the way i will parent.

i have apologised and i will again, i worded it very wrong and i wasn't trying to be offensive. A couple of comments got my back up and i should have walked away like i always do on here. Off course all Mum's are Mum's 100% of the time that i agree with but i don't want someone telling my child off for not sharing toys when he is only 1 year old!

Not all working mums use nurseries either though.A stranger doesn't tell my LO off, my mum does it

Trouble is i still think i would get the hump even if it was my mother

 

[NG09]

I am very proud to mother Isla 100% of the time. This is my job and I feel more empowered as a woman doing this than I have done at any point in my life so far. I have never considered leaving my daughter in the care of someone else and don't expect to do so for some considerable time yet. (She's 10 months now). I have had successful careers in business spanning 20 years prior to Isla's birth, and its only now that am I doing something that I feel is worthwhile. For me, mothering is a way of life. I certainly don't feel any need to work outside of the home to give myself an identity. If we have another baby, I will mother him/her 100% of the time as well.

It's lovely that you feel that way but to be fair not all women can afford to stay at home and you're right mothering is a way of life, for a woman it should be one of the most natural things possible..But IMO saying you're a mother "100% of the time" seems a bit of a dig to those who aren't SAHM's

Correct me if I'm wrong though

But if your LO is in nursery/childcare 40 odd hours a week you can't be a mum 100% of the time

Are you for real???

I'm far to tired to even argue this with you but the comment you have made there is utterly ridiculous.

 

[Novemberbabe]

Thank you for all the responses, I've not logged in since yesterday afternoon so only just caught up with them and appreciate everyone's opinion.

Had my first day back today and it was tough, more so for me than LO as the childminder said he was a joy to look after (hope it stays that way and it wasn't a lucky one-off!!).

Hopefully it'll get easier, or I win the lottery this week! lol

 

[kirmal12]

I am very proud to mother Isla 100% of the time. This is my job and I feel more empowered as a woman doing this than I have done at any point in my life so far. I have never considered leaving my daughter in the care of someone else and don't expect to do so for some considerable time yet. (She's 10 months now). I have had successful careers in business spanning 20 years prior to Isla's birth, and its only now that am I doing something that I feel is worthwhile. For me, mothering is a way of life. I certainly don't feel any need to work outside of the home to give myself an identity. If we have another baby, I will mother him/her 100% of the time as well.

It's lovely that you feel that way but to be fair not all women can afford to stay at home and you're right mothering is a way of life, for a woman it should be one of the most natural things possible..But IMO saying you're a mother "100% of the time" seems a bit of a dig to those who aren't SAHM's

Correct me if I'm wrong though

But if your LO is in nursery/childcare 40 odd hours a week you can't be a mum 100% of the time

Are you for real???

I'm far to tired to even argue this with you but the comment you have made there is utterly ridiculous.

Have you not read the bit where i have apologised, I am aware it came out very wrong?, neither do i want a argument. So i will say SORRY again, i was not trying to be offensive!.

 

[PrayinForBaby]

Just saying...I'm a working mom. I work ten times harder now than I did as just being a SAHM, because now not only do I have LO to take care of, I have the house, plus my job, and running all the errands, doing the grocery, paying the bills. It is hard work! I wouldn't trade it for a minute though. I think women that are able to be SAHM's should count their blessings that they are able to do that. But in the same hand, I don't think working moms should ever be looked down upon either. We all do what we have to do to make sure our LO's are taken care of 100% of the time and parent to the best of our abilities.

 

[I_AM_LIVID]

100% mum, what does that even mean? How do you work out what percentage mummy you are? Are you implying that to be a 100% mum you have to be attached to your baby's hip? My babies are asleep now and I'm in front of the pc, as I’m sure are other mummies at this ungodly hour, does that make me less of a mummy? Does my rating as a mummy decrease the minute I walk out the door to go to work so that I can provide for them? A lot of SAHM on here have said that their OHs are walking so that bills get paid, are they then only 50% daddies? How do you calculate, is what I'm interested in knowing.

 

[Feltzy]

I think what Kirmal meant is that she looks after her children 100% of the time, rather than is a mum 100% of the time. It was probably just worded wrong.

I do 'count my blessings' that I'm in a position to be a sahm, but I would have liked to go back to work part time as I loved my job but I can't afford the childcare. So I have no choice but to be a sahm. Don't get me wrong I love looking after my children but I REALLY miss my job. If it was financially worthwhile I would have gone back.

 

[vaniilla]

i'd love love love to be a sahm!
but because i'm a single mum i'm goin back to work... this is because i want finn to grow up with a strong work ethic - not for financial reasons because, ridiculous as it is, i'd be better off not working.
i don't agree with households where no-one works... it breeds children who don't want to work!
sahm's rock... working mum's rock... scroungers do not!

couldn't have put it better

 

[emmi26]

aww i_am_livid yr babies are adorable !!! cant believe they are 6 months !!!!!
im a stay home mummy but i truly believe you are always a mummy no matter what if you work and yr childs nursery rings to say lo is ill u dont say sorry im at work im not being mummy today you would grab yr coat and run for the door !!! see still in mummy mode no matter what x

 

[lozzy21]

I wouldent tell a child off under two got not sharing but I would teach them how to share,
They would be made to give the toy back and would be told we don't snatch we share, they won't have a clue at first but they are fast leathers.

Its about trust,I trust my mam enough to know that if she were to tell my child off that it was done in their best intrest. Ether to keep her safe or to help develop her social skills. We research our options, ask them how they disaplin, how they praise, how often they go for Walks ect, not just dump them with some one wh

 

[I_AM_LIVID]

aww i_am_livid yr babies are adorable !!! cant believe they are 6 months !!!!!
im a stay home mummy but i truly believe you are always a mummy no matter what if you work and yr childs nursery rings to say lo is ill u dont say sorry im at work im not being mummy today you would grab yr coat and run for the door !!! see still in mummy mode no matter what x

Thanks. Can't believe it's been half a year. It feels like just yesterday I was holding their tiny bodies. I'm a little sad that time has gone by so fast.

Enjoy every minte with yours hun, becaues they grow up so fast.

 

[jojo_b]

gah - read someone's comment on here that went along the lines of, "I'm a SAHM and wouldn't have it any other way - I could never imagine leaving her".

AAARRRRGGGHHH!!!


I absolutely HATE it when women say that. If I had the choice, I wouldn't imagine leaving my little boy, but I have no bloody choice. Believe me, if you had to work to keep a roof over your LO's head, you'd start "imagining" it pretty darn quick. It's phrases like that that perpetuate the guilt that many working mums feel.

All parents - mums or dads - do what they've got to do. In some cases it's work, in other cases it's stay at home. We all make judgement calls based on our own circumstances and don't need anyone else to (inadvertently or not) make us feel guilty over it. I hate having to work, but love being able to provide for my little boy. Do I have a sneaky cry in the loo sometimes when DH sends me a photo of the two of them playing, or off out in the pram? Yup, of course I do...but feeling sad and wishing I was there reminds me that I might be out working, but I'm still 100% mummy.

 

[jackiea85]

I'm a SAHM and my mum worked a lot, she didn't have any other option anyway as she was a single mum. I think either way they are upsides and downsides and unfortunately people will judge you no matter what you do. I love being a SAHM (or housewife!) but I am completely dependent on my husband, I don't get much adult conversation and my life pretty much revolves around my baby. I am grateful that I can be at home with my little boy but there are days where I do wish I could work part time so I feel like my brain is still functioning and I can do something useful and feel like I'm contributing x

 

[fluffpuffin]

At the moment I can't imagine going back to work, but I know when my year is up that it'll be good for my sanity going back into the adult working environment. I will only work 2 days and hubby will look after her, so they can spend quality time together, so i don't feel guilty.

 

[Hayley90]

When i was at school, i was embarrassed that my mum didnt have a job... it was good in the holidays when she took us out to places all the time, but the rest of the time, i just wanted her to work in an office or a shop like everyone elses mums. Other kids would be like "why doesnt your mum have a job?" the fact i had younger sisters didnt seem relevant. Even going over to other friends houses their mums and dads would ask what mine did for a living. It was humiliating saying "my mum doesnt have a job, she just looks after us"

Strange

now of course, i know a lot more about WHY she was never at work.. but still. It used to embarrass me hugely at school, something i've never quite got over.

 

[Nic1107]

I couldn't imagine leaving Carmen all day either to go off to work... but that's just what I do, 4-5 days a week, because we need food on the table. I didn't plan to go back to work, and I loved being a SAHM- but life came around and changed our plans. Sometimes things just don't turn out the way you imagined they'd be.

I work about 30 hours a week because my husband is having endless trouble finding a part-time job and fitting in online school as well. Since we weren't getting by on his unemployment benefits, I put out some applications and got hired pretty quick. I think about my daughter all day, and I am her mum 24/7, 100%. My husband is a SAHD, and if we need a baby-sitter, Carmen stays with her grandparents. I went to day care as a kid, and it never had any negative effect on my bond with my mom (we have always been very close- and she's always been a working mom).

Being a working mom is bloody difficult, and so is being a SAHM. I've done both, and we all deserve kudos and respect for doing the best we can for our families, wherever that places us inside or outside of the home.

 

[Jojomama]

I'm one of the lucky ones, 'cos I've got it the way I want it - I work part-time because I want to (& my employer allows me to). Our household finances are balanced without me having to work, so it's luxuries after day care!
Having said that I have equal admiration for SAHMs & working mums (full & part), motherhood is hard & so can be working full time.

 

[mummyclo]

I will be going back part time after my maternity finishes...can't afford to be a SAHM even though i would LOVE to stay at home with my LO!