So what does everyone think about working Mums?

[Marzipan_girl]

TBH I actually think that suggesting that being a SAHM mum is a full time career is a bit of an insult to those who have studied/worked for years hard at an ACTUAL career...Yes being a mum is hard work...and stressful...but reaallly? It's not the same as the mental/physical energy you have to put into doing a degree or doing a proper JOB!
You know what I think is REALLY difficult? Having a full time job AND being a fulltime mum (because as far as i'm aware, you're still a mother when balancing a proper job!) Those mothers work alooott harder than SAHM's (not that SAHM's have it easy or anything...but it IS easier!)

 

[KittyVentura]

Why oh why oh why do some of you feel the incessant need to try and make your choices seem better... this has happened from BOTH sides over the past few pages (some more than others). We're all different, we all have different situations and we all do our best for our family based on our OWN opnions and circumstances. Isnt that enough?

Working mum... stay at home mum... there's a common theme in those 2 titles... MUM! Think about how the way you word things, or how you defend your choice, will make other mothers feel.

xx

 

[mummyclo]

 

[charlotte-xo]

I think both do an equally important job to be honest i dont think ones better than the other like kitty said were all mums at the end of the day whether thats a working mum or a sahm. Im lucky i can be a sahm ive had a carreer and chose to leave it behind because 1 i didnt like it anyway and 2 i just dont feel ready to leave alfie yet, im lucky that i have that choice some dont and they have to work it doesnt make them any less of a mum than i am because i stay at home.

 

[Marzipan_girl]

I think both do an equally important job to be honest i dont think ones better than the other like kitty said were all mums at the end of the day whether thats a working mum or a sahm. Im lucky i can be a sahm ive had a carreer and chose to leave it behind because 1 i didnt like it anyway and 2 i just dont feel ready to leave alfie yet, im lucky that i have that choice some dont and they have to work it doesnt make them any less of a mum than i am because i stay at home.

Oh I do believe being a SAHM is a very important job! I don't think it's less important than having a career...but my point was, its not as difficult, KWIM? If it was THAT difficult, I wouldn't be on BnB with a coffee right now while my baby giggles away in his baby swing! Okay, so not always is like this (last night I was up at 1.30am, then 4am, then again at 6am ) but some jobs you have to have 100% focus all the time...and it's alot more difficult than this!
I do believe being a SAHM is important, especially if you're looking after the kids and supporting the fact that your OH works so you're working as a team kinda... Just not as difficult as being a working one.

 

[Kalah]

Is it just me who doesn't think being a SAHM is a "career?"

I don't think it is either, particularly if you only have one kid! I'm sorry, my mum is a nurse and her job is WAY more demanding than me getting up to a giggling baby and just pottering around town babbling with her all day (and my baby is a TERRIBLE sleeper). I think its a bad way to think actually, when I'm stressed I just remind myself that being a mother of one isn't rocket science and I usually feel better.

Not everyone gets a happy baby though. Some babies, mine included, need constant stimulation. From the moment she wakes up till she goes to bed at night minus 2 hours napping in the day that's 10 hours a day I have to be on my feet non stop going going going if I stop for a minute she screams and cries! Even just feeding her is a battle she fights and yells, I cant eat when shes awake because that means I stop giving her my full attention. I'm not seeing how that's different from work and honestly its a little frustrating seeing someone say what I do isn't work, it's absolutely exhausting! AND there are NO days off I have had two breaks since shes been born. Actually youre right its not like a regular job, its much harder.

Not having a go at either of you by the way, just pointing out uts not easy!

 

[Marzipan_girl]

I think both do an equally important job to be honest i dont think ones better than the other like kitty said were all mums at the end of the day whether thats a working mum or a sahm. Im lucky i can be a sahm ive had a carreer and chose to leave it behind because 1 i didnt like it anyway and 2 i just dont feel ready to leave alfie yet, im lucky that i have that choice some dont and they have to work it doesnt make them any less of a mum than i am because i stay at home.

Oh I do believe being a SAHM is a very important job! I don't think it's less important than having a career...but my point was, its not as difficult, KWIM? If it was THAT difficult, I wouldn't be on BnB with a coffee right now while my baby giggles away in his baby swing! Okay, so not always is like this (last night I was up at 1.30am, then 4am, then again at 6am ) but some jobs you have to have 100% focus all the time...and it's alot more difficult than this!
I do believe being a SAHM is important, especially if you're looking after the kids and supporting the fact that your OH works so you're working as a team kinda... Just not as difficult as being a working one.

Just re-read your post and now i'm not sure it was aimed at me anyway

 

[Marzipan_girl]

Is it just me who doesn't think being a SAHM is a "career?"

I don't think it is either, particularly if you only have one kid! I'm sorry, my mum is a nurse and her job is WAY more demanding than me getting up to a giggling baby and just pottering around town babbling with her all day (and my baby is a TERRIBLE sleeper). I think its a bad way to think actually, when I'm stressed I just remind myself that being a mother of one isn't rocket science and I usually feel better.

Not everyone gets a happy baby though. Some babies, mine included, need constant stimulation. From the moment she wakes up till she goes to bed at night minus 2 hours napping in the day that's 10 hours a day I have to be on my feet non stop going going going if I stop for a minute she screams and cries! Even just feeding her is a battle she fights and yells, I cant eat when shes awake because that means I stop giving her my full attention. I'm not seeing how that's different from work and honestly its a little frustrating seeing someone say what I do isn't work, it's absolutely exhausting! AND there are NO days off I have had two breaks since shes been born. Actually youre right its not like a regular job, its much harder.

Not having a go at either of you by the way, just pointing out uts not easy!

I guess you're right, some are more difficult than others...recently nights have become a NIGHTMARE for me...i'm sooo sleep deprived. But I still personally wouldn't say it's more difficult than working 12 hours a day as a top accountant or something like that. But then i'm just speaking from my own perspective. Everyone feels differently/has different babies so I can't speak for you I guess x

 

[Lena]

TBH I actually think that suggesting that being a SAHM mum is a full time career is a bit of an insult to those who have studied/worked for years hard at an ACTUAL career...Yes being a mum is hard work...and stressful...but reaallly? It's not the same as the mental/physical energy you have to put into doing a degree or doing a proper JOB!
You know what I think is REALLY difficult? Having a full time job AND being a fulltime mum (because as far as i'm aware, you're still a mother when balancing a proper job!) Those mothers work alooott harder than SAHM's (not that SAHM's have it easy or anything...but it IS easier!)

I have a degree. I had a career as the Marketing Manager for a fairly large company and had my own team of staff. Now, we are moving to the US and i am going to be a SAHM. I never thought I would want to be a SAHM but since having Nathan I have wanted nothing more. I WILL go back to work when he's in school but at the moment I can't think of a more important job for me to do than to look after him and watch him grow and learn. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity in my eyes, he's only this small once. I have the rest of my life to go out and work. I am very lucky i can do this and respect any mum who goes out and works. And trust me, being a SAHM is sooooo much harder than any job Ive ever had.

 

[Mum2b_Claire]

I work far harder on my days at home with Ruby than on my work days! But I guess that is a reflection on my job tbh.
Also, can I just say that being at home with a toddler is, in my experience, waaaay more intense and tiring (although fun!) than being at home with a baby!!

 

[indy and lara]

TBH I actually think that suggesting that being a SAHM mum is a full time career is a bit of an insult to those who have studied/worked for years hard at an ACTUAL career...Yes being a mum is hard work...and stressful...but reaallly? It's not the same as the mental/physical energy you have to put into doing a degree or doing a proper JOB!You know what I think is REALLY difficult? Having a full time job AND being a fulltime mum (because as far as i'm aware, you're still a mother when balancing a proper job!) Those mothers work alooott harder than SAHM's (not that SAHM's have it easy or anything...but it IS easier!)

And on the other hand, to suggest that it is not of equal standing is insulting to those who have chosen to do this, or have chosen to give up a different career to do this. I see this as a PROPER job. I find it very insulting that you said that this is not a proper job. It is as insulting as it was to others earlier in the thread who objected to the 100% mum phrase.

I have an 'actual' career but I have chosen to be at home with Emma as my job for just now. Over the last 15 years we have worked very hard to get into a position that it is possible for me to be at home as long as I want to. I think what I do is valuable and there will only be a finite amount of time that we have together at home when she is little and that is very precious to me.

 

[KittyVentura]

I work harder now as a Mum than I ever have at work. I didn't have an easy job, far from it. I worked for 9 years, same company and had progressed forward to a relatively high position. I was involved in compliance, fraud prevention & data protection legalities. I had to pass all manner of exams etc and was part trained as a financial adviser when I started mat leave. I definitely had a career, would work all manner of hours every month and work to high pressure deadlines etc.

In my personal experience being a mother is harder than working. To be a mother AND hold down a job would only be harder still xx

 

[charlotte-xo]

I think both do an equally important job to be honest i dont think ones better than the other like kitty said were all mums at the end of the day whether thats a working mum or a sahm. Im lucky i can be a sahm ive had a carreer and chose to leave it behind because 1 i didnt like it anyway and 2 i just dont feel ready to leave alfie yet, im lucky that i have that choice some dont and they have to work it doesnt make them any less of a mum than i am because i stay at home.

Oh I do believe being a SAHM is a very important job! I don't think it's less important than having a career...but my point was, its not as difficult, KWIM? If it was THAT difficult, I wouldn't be on BnB with a coffee right now while my baby giggles away in his baby swing! Okay, so not always is like this (last night I was up at 1.30am, then 4am, then again at 6am ) but some jobs you have to have 100% focus all the time...and it's alot more difficult than this!
I do believe being a SAHM is important, especially if you're looking after the kids and supporting the fact that your OH works so you're working as a team kinda... Just not as difficult as being a working one.

Oooh i wasnt replying to you or anyone in particullar hun, just meant in general iykwim??

 

[Marzipan_girl]

TBH I actually think that suggesting that being a SAHM mum is a full time career is a bit of an insult to those who have studied/worked for years hard at an ACTUAL career...Yes being a mum is hard work...and stressful...but reaallly? It's not the same as the mental/physical energy you have to put into doing a degree or doing a proper JOB!You know what I think is REALLY difficult? Having a full time job AND being a fulltime mum (because as far as i'm aware, you're still a mother when balancing a proper job!) Those mothers work alooott harder than SAHM's (not that SAHM's have it easy or anything...but it IS easier!)

And on the other hand, to suggest that it is not of equal standing is insulting to those who have chosen to do this, or have chosen to give up a different career to do this. I see this as a PROPER job. I find it very insulting that you said that this is not a proper job. It is as insulting as it was to others earlier in the thread who objected to the 100% mum phrase.

I have an 'actual' career but I have chosen to be at home with Emma as my job for just now. Over the last 15 years we have worked very hard to get into a position that it is possible for me to be at home as long as I want to. I think what I do is valuable and there will only be a finite amount of time that we have together at home when she is little and that is very precious to me.

But this isn't really a job! It's a family role....a calling..whatever. It's not a job?

 

[lozzy21]

Looking after Niamh is a walk in the park compared to work lol

You don't need physical restraint training and don't need to ware a panic alarm when your at home with a baby. You cant get assaulted by your baby.

No comparison for me

 

[Marzipan_girl]

I think both do an equally important job to be honest i dont think ones better than the other like kitty said were all mums at the end of the day whether thats a working mum or a sahm. Im lucky i can be a sahm ive had a carreer and chose to leave it behind because 1 i didnt like it anyway and 2 i just dont feel ready to leave alfie yet, im lucky that i have that choice some dont and they have to work it doesnt make them any less of a mum than i am because i stay at home.

Oh I do believe being a SAHM is a very important job! I don't think it's less important than having a career...but my point was, its not as difficult, KWIM? If it was THAT difficult, I wouldn't be on BnB with a coffee right now while my baby giggles away in his baby swing! Okay, so not always is like this (last night I was up at 1.30am, then 4am, then again at 6am ) but some jobs you have to have 100% focus all the time...and it's alot more difficult than this!
I do believe being a SAHM is important, especially if you're looking after the kids and supporting the fact that your OH works so you're working as a team kinda... Just not as difficult as being a working one.

Oooh i wasnt replying to you or anyone in particullar hun, just meant in general iykwim??

Yeah hehe just realised afterwards. I need to read things properly

 

[Marzipan_girl]

Looking after Niamh is a walk in the park compared to work lol

You don't need physical restraint training and don't need to ware a panic alarm when your at home with a baby. You cant get assaulted by your baby.

No comparison for me

This is exactly what i'm getting at!
It's generally a walk in the park for me too....mainly because looking after Rory involves alot of walking in the park God i'm witty

 

[charlotte-xo]

I think both do an equally important job to be honest i dont think ones better than the other like kitty said were all mums at the end of the day whether thats a working mum or a sahm. Im lucky i can be a sahm ive had a carreer and chose to leave it behind because 1 i didnt like it anyway and 2 i just dont feel ready to leave alfie yet, im lucky that i have that choice some dont and they have to work it doesnt make them any less of a mum than i am because i stay at home.

Oh I do believe being a SAHM is a very important job! I don't think it's less important than having a career...but my point was, its not as difficult, KWIM? If it was THAT difficult, I wouldn't be on BnB with a coffee right now while my baby giggles away in his baby swing! Okay, so not always is like this (last night I was up at 1.30am, then 4am, then again at 6am ) but some jobs you have to have 100% focus all the time...and it's alot more difficult than this!
I do believe being a SAHM is important, especially if you're looking after the kids and supporting the fact that your OH works so you're working as a team kinda... Just not as difficult as being a working one.

Oooh i wasnt replying to you or anyone in particullar hun, just meant in general iykwim??

Yeah hehe just realised afterwards. I need to read things properly

lol

 

[lozzy21]

Looking after Niamh is a walk in the park compared to work lol

You don't need physical restraint training and don't need to ware a panic alarm when your at home with a baby. You cant get assaulted by your baby.

No comparison for me

This is exactly what i'm getting at!

I think it depends on what your job is, mine is far from easy. I cant just sit and have a cup of tea at work like i can at home with the baby.

 

[indy and lara]

I have been assaulted many times at work and I would never expect to be assaulted at any time at home. The vast majority of jobs/ careers do not involve getting assaulted and I don't think you can decide whether something is a career/ job or not by whether or not you are attacked by the people you work with.

You have your views and I have mine. I get pretty fed up with choosing to be a mother being a 2nd class choice. Not a proper job. Not as hard. And so on. It is not. Once I have spent a day running around after my toddler it is every bit as exhausting as when I was at work. It was not a lot different BF a reflux suffering preemie baby.