Soap in the Mouth....

[omfgski]

...

 

[Jaylynne]

I was never afraid or in fear of my parents and they used spanking. I'd rather be spanked than have them yell like some parents do.

 

[Sarahrei]

I wouldn't do it, and I do think it's abusive.

That being said, at the tender age of two would she really understand the connection?

 

[Andypanda6570]

No I don't think it is abuse, not acceptable for a 2yr old, we got soap in the mouth also and to this day I ain't scared of soap, tell you one thing always watched my mouth after that

 

[Piper84]

At best it's lazy parenting - "cleaning" someone's mouth out by literally putting a cleaning product into their mouth? That's pretty abstract for a child. How about explaining why swearing is not OK?

At worst it is absolutely child abuse. Think about it: if you use a bar of soap you are forcing an object into your child's mouth. Some jurisdictions call this oral rape. If you use something like liquid soap, you are force-feeding your child. How can that sit well with any loving parent?

For all the advocates of forcing your child to ingest cleaning products: would you mind if a teacher did it to them?

 

[TriChick]

So entire generations were subjected to oral rape? Yikes, in that case maybe I shouldn't let my children watch A Christmas Story ever...

Oral rape is when a person is forced to engage in a sexual act without their consent. Using the term "rape" in relation to placing a bar of soap on a child's tongue (not CONSUMING the soap) both desensitizes people to the word itself, as well as runs the risk of offending those who have actually been a victim of such a heinous act. The same can be said when using the term "abuse". By referring to a parent who uses any punishment other than "talking it out" to discipline a child as "abusive" it weakens the concept of abuse itself.

 

[fannyadams]

I don't agree with this kind of punishment.
I place it in the same category as smacking.
I don't see how you are teaching your child anything other than its ok to use violence/bullying/force/whatever you want to call it to get your own way.

 

[Andypanda6570]

So entire generations were subjected to oral rape? Yikes, in that case maybe I should let my children watch A Christmas Story ever...

Oral rape is when a person is forced to engage in a sexual act without their consent. Using the term "rape" in relation to placing a bar of soap on a child's tongue (not CONSUMING the soap) both desensitizes people to the word itself, as well as runs the risk of offending those who have actually been a victim of such a heinous act. The same can be said when using the term "abuse". By referring to a parent who uses any punishment other than "talking it out" to discipline a child as "abusive" it weakens the concept of abuse itself.

I so agree, so offensive to people that have been through it My mom did it to me ( soap in the mouth ) and I was NOT orally raped , wow I don't like that ..

 

[Natasha2605]

I wouldn't do it, and I do think it's abusive.

That being said, at the tender age of two would she really understand the connection?

My 2 year old certainly would, and tbh the thought of it makes me feel sick. Vile.

 

[TriChick]

So entire generations were subjected to oral rape? Yikes, in that case maybe I should let my children watch A Christmas Story ever...

Oral rape is when a person is forced to engage in a sexual act without their consent. Using the term "rape" in relation to placing a bar of soap on a child's tongue (not CONSUMING the soap) both desensitizes people to the word itself, as well as runs the risk of offending those who have actually been a victim of such a heinous act. The same can be said when using the term "abuse". By referring to a parent who uses any punishment other than "talking it out" to discipline a child as "abusive" it weakens the concept of abuse itself.

I so agree, so offensive to people that have been through it My mom did it to me ( soap in the mouth ) and I was NOT orally raped , wow I don't like that ..

.

Edit to add: No longer wish to contribute to the conversation.

 

[suzib76]

call it what you like the idea of forcing soap into a childs mouth disgusts me.

 

[OmarsMum]

My son licks the soap off his mouth when he washes it, I don't even think he will be bothered if I use washing his mouth with soap as a threat when I ask him to stop he licks his soapy hands while laughing

I don't agree with punishment in general, but I don't class washing a kid's mouth with soap as abusive.

 

[Lina]

Are people seriously likening an act of rape to soap in the mouth? What next, smacking is sadomasochism?

 

[Erinsmummy]

I would never do it to my kids, And my parents never did it to me. But I had friends who's parents would do it at about the age of 8, and I don't remember thinking it was really bad. My friends were still loved and well looked after, and they were happy.

Still, I couldn't bring myself to do it.

 

[oneandtwo]

Rape is not the correct term, it could be considered molestation if anything

Molest: to annoy, disturb, or persecute especially with hostile intent or injurious effect

When you are purposefully trying to cause harm to another person with the intent to upset them, that is molestation.

also, I do not punish my children, i DISCIPLINE them. THere is a very huge difference between the two, and punishment is not allowed in my home.

https://urbanext.illinois.edu/nibbles/challenges-discipline.html

Discipline teaches a child how to act. Discipline should make sense to a child. It should have something to do with what he has done wrong. Discipline helps a child feel good about himself. It gives him the chance to correct his mistakes. It puts him in charge of his actions.

Punishment only tells a child that she is bad. It does not tell a child what she should do instead. So punishment may not make sense to the child. Punishment usually has nothing to do with what the child did wrong.

Heres a nice table on the differences. https://www.attachmentparenting.ca/articles/articled1.htm

DIFFERENCES BETWEEN DISCIPLINE AND PUNISHMENT



DISCIPLINE

Proactive

Focus upon the future: “Here is what to do instead”.

Preserves mutual respect of feelings and dignity.

Raises self esteem. Leaves child feeling good about himself.

Teaches self-control by explaining reason.


Parent and child feel good about each other and the relationship.

Presents choice.

Sensible: related to misbehaviour

Motivates and encourages to do better next time.

Looks for feelings and needs that drive behaviour.

Child feels understood.

Decreases power struggles, since the needs of parent and child are met.

Time-In: Parent and child decide together on time, place, tools and helping person.

Consequences: Focus upon restitution and natural outcome of events.

PUNISHMENT

Reactive

Focus upon the past: “Stop doing that!”


Ignores feelings and dignity of the child.


Lowers self-esteem. Leaves child feeling bad about himself.

Teaches outside control by offering no
explanation.

Parent and child feel disconnected from each other and the relationship

Demands compliance.

Arbitrary: unrelated to misbehaviour

Inspires anger, resentment, rebellion, revenge, or withdrawal

Focuses on behaviour


Child feels misunderstood.

Increases power struggles, because only the needs of the parent are met.

Time-Out: Parent decides on time, place, tools, and helping person.

Consequences: Focus on hurting or depriving the child.

There is no practical application do punish a child, especially at the age of 2 they are still learning and are not capable of abstract thought. I would whole heartedly consider this abuse, and as "mandatory reporter" because of my job, I would be obligated to call social services if a child told me they were being punished in this manner. Soap is a chemical and has a very real negative reaction to the body when overly consumed.

my children are 7, 5 and 20 months(who doesnt count for this argument) and have NEVER had an issue with them swearing, you know why? because I taught them the truth about swearing and that they are for adults to use if they choose, and not for children and provided alternatives to adult words. Parenting takes creativity and logic in order to provide a positive learning environment for your children. IMO it is pure laziness to use punishment on a child and does nothing to facilitate that child in becoming a positive, upstanding member of society.

*off my "soap box" now #giggle# *

 

[Stevensmummyx]

I don't see how forcing a cleaning product into a childs mouth is going to teach them not to swear? I don't agree with it at all! So if you swear infront of your child then its ok for someone to force a bar of soap into your mouth so you know not to do it again, afterall where are the kids learning the swear words? Especially younger kids!
When I was younger I was taught to respect my elders and I never ever swore until I was a teen and even at that I still won't swear infront of my parents, its all to do with how you bring your child up, I don't see how soap in the mouth teaches them respect.

 

[Tasha]

I would never dream of doing this to my children. I wouldnt want to upset or frighten them, would much prefer to explain why those words arent acceptable.

As for not consuming it, you know things are absorbed through the wall of your tongue, right?

 

[x Michelle x]

I would never do it, to me, its just cruel!

But on a side note my daughter eats the bubbles i blow for her and says mmmm..... crazy child!

 

[smokey]

My mum had it done to her when she was about 11, she threatened it with me once or twice but it was always a empty threat more of a jokey sort of way and I knew she would never do it.
I may joke to him one day that ill wash his mouth out but would make it clear its not a actual threat and would never dream of following through with it.

 

[louandivy]

Are people seriously likening an act of rape to soap in the mouth? What next, smacking is sadomasochism?

Seriously. I mean I don't agree with it either and don't see how it even makes sense as an appropriate punishment to swearing but to call it ORAL RAPE? Are you fucking kidding me? That is just SO offensive and completely trivialises rape. Sometimes the stuff I see on here makes me shake my head in disbelief.