Soap in the Mouth....

[robinator]

I'd much rather have parents that weren't afraid to discipline than some of the other ideas on here.

"I discipline my kids, I just don't use abusive methods!"

Waiting for it......

Why the hostility towards everyone who does not agree with you?

You have said soap is abuse, and since my parents did that, you are effectively saying they were abusers. And you wonder why that raises my hackles? Really? I am baffled.

I'm done here, there is really nothing else I can say.

 

[louandivy]

I also agree with the PP (can't remember who it was) who pointed out that when our parents used these kind of punishments they were considered totally normal and acceptable, they weren't 'taboo' and abuse did not even come into it...there was nothing sinister about it. Personally, I don't agree with it and can see now how misinformed it is to think that it is a remotely appropriate punishment but WHYYY do so many mums on here get such a kick out of calling other parents abusers???

 

[Tasha]

I agree somethings have been said that shouldnt of been said, but for some people they do see this as child abuse (this status was written in the here and now, and people talking about doing it to a child in the here and now), people will always have different views on what child abuse it, and thats fine. Just because you think it is, doesnt mean others will and vice versa, surely we can respect other peoples opinions without a) deamnding they dont have them or b) belittling their views just because you dont agree.

 

[freckleonear]

Why do people get so defensive over what their parents did when it comes to discipline? No one seems to get this riled up in conversations about other stuff like when we were weaned or who we were babysat by or how old we were when we were allowed out to play alone. I don't get it.

I get upset when people demonize someone I love or say they abused me. Pretty sure that's normal.

Defensiveness is a normal reaction, but it can also cloud our judgement. My parents washed my mouth out with soap and smacked me, and for many years I was a strong supporter of physical and authoritarian discipline simply because that's how I was brought up. Children tend to take on their parents' values and worldview as their own. However, I am now objective enough to be able to look back and see that it was wrong. They were still wonderful parents and I don't think any less of them for making mistakes. Heck, I've smacked my own children, but I can admit that I was 100% wrong!

Good parents sometimes do the wrong thing, but they do it for the right reasons. I don't think anyone here is trying to demonise parents who have used soap as discipline, we are simply condemning the action itself.

 

[suzib76]

I'd much rather have parents that weren't afraid to discipline than some of the other ideas on here.

"I discipline my kids, I just don't use abusive methods!"

Waiting for it......

Why the hostility towards everyone who does not agree with you?

You have said soap is abuse, and since my parents did that, you are effectively saying they were abusers. And you wonder why that raises my hackles? Really? I am baffled.

I'm done here, there is really nothing else I can say.

I said I think it's abusive, vile, disgusting, barbaric and downright unnecessary to do that to another human being.

The fact that your parents chose to do that to you will not alter my opinion on something I feel strongly about, however, I did not at any point in time comment on your parents

Just because it was deemed acceptable back then does not mean I think it's acceptable now. Same as smoking used to be glamorised years ago, it's one of the most anti social things people can do nowadays. Ff was pushed in the 70s when I was born, bf was uncommon, now it's all about breast feeding. Things change, people learn.

 

[omfgski]

...

 

[midori1999]

I wonder why, if the posters here who have posted that their parents washed their own mouths out with soap and it 'didn't do them any harm' and they don't class it as abuse, they wouldn't do it to their own child? Or would they?

FWIW, my oldest two children are almost 17 and 12. I have never heard either of them swear (I am not naive enough to think they never do) and although I am under no illusions that they are perfect, neither of them would ever raise their voice to me, disrespect me me swear in from of me. That's despite the fact that I may well swear a whole lot more than is necessary. I've never laid a hand on them, I certainly wouldn't wash their mouths out with soap, but we have a mutual understanding that those are not words children (or adults) say in front of their parents or in certain situations. That's good enough for me. Hopefully I've taught them to teach their children lessons with mutual respect too.

 

[louandivy]

eurgh this thread has reminded me why going on this forum always feels like a huge waste of time, aside from a few decent posters. Need to stop coming on here because all it does it piss me off constantly.

 

[Jaylynne]

I wonder why, if the posters here who have posted that their parents washed their own mouths out with soap and it 'didn't do them any harm' and they don't class it as abuse, they wouldn't do it to their own child? Or would they?

FWIW, my oldest two children are almost 17 and 12. I have never heard either of them swear (I am not naive enough to think they never do) and although I am under no illusions that they are perfect, neither of them would ever raise their voice to me, disrespect me me swear in from of me. That's despite the fact that I may well swear a whole lot more than is necessary. I've never laid a hand on them, I certainly wouldn't wash their mouths out with soap, but we have a mutual understanding that those are not words children (or adults) say in front of their parents or in certain situations. That's good enough for me. Hopefully I've taught them to teach their children lessons with mutual respect too.

I wouldn't do it to a toddler as I don't think it would even remotely make sense. I'd probably use another method simply because it really wasn't that effective as I never swear in front of my parents and the time I did I was too angry to care. Obviously from my posts, you can see I still have a potty mouth everywhere but work and with my side of the family.

But yeah, at 2 if a toddler swears they have no idea what they are really saying and it wouldn't be right to discipline an action that wasn't meant to be naughty. At a time when they understand their actions, appropriate discipline would be dealt. So far, taking away the xbox or making SS do extra chores works better than anything else. I doubt I'd do the soap thing anyway as i wouldn't want to clean throw up. SS can hurl on demand.

 

[Piper84]

What world do you live in? It's a perfectly reasonable comparison to make. I bet just as many people on here who had their mouths washed out with soap got a smack now and then. It doesn't make it not physical abuse just cos it happened to YOU as a child and YOU don't see to deny that it is physical abuse.

Evidently a different one than you, which I'm quite thankful for at the moment.

I already said I never had it done to me so whatever you're going on about isn't applicable to me.

To put someone who washed their kid's mouth out with soap on the same level as someone who beat the crap out of their kids is ludacris.

Where did I put someone who force feeds their child soap on the same level as someone who "beat the crap out of their kids"?

Or did I, in fact, say "hit", in reference to my own experience? Yeah, that's right.

There's no point debating this if one party is gonna lie about what the other has said

 

[Dragonfly]

Disgusting behavior from so called role models.

 

[Piper84]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f1/Matthew_Getting_Mouth_Washed_Out_With_Soap.jpg

Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f1/Matthew_Getting_Mouth_Washed_Out_With_Soap.jpg

 

[LoraLoo]

https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f1/Matthew_Getting_Mouth_Washed_Out_With_Soap.jpg

Source: https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/f/f1/Matthew_Getting_Mouth_Washed_Out_With_Soap.jpg

look how he is being grabbed by the neck. Thats a really sad photo, but I dont really see your purpose in posting it?

 

[TriChick]

Disgusting behavior from so called role models.

Too far. People need to stop offending other people's parents and the choices they made with the information they had at the time.

 

[TriChick]

look how he is being grabbed by the neck. Thats a really sad photo, but I dont really see your purpose in posting it?

It's shock value.

 

[Dragonfly]

You'd be calling social services for a little soap in the mouth?

Forcing soap into the mouth of an adult would be assault. Why do we have lower standards for the way we treat children?

Disgusting behavior from so called role models.

Too far. People need to stop offending other people's parents and the choices they made with the information they had at the time.

And putting soap in to a child's mouth isnt far at all. People need to start respecting children. I fight for child advocacy and always will. I do not care if adults are offended who so nasty things to children. I am offended at that sort of parenting.

 

[LoraLoo]

look how he is being grabbed by the neck. Thats a really sad photo, but I dont really see your purpose in posting it?

It's shock value.

I still dont get it, the ones that dont agree with it (like myself) would find the pic disgusting anyway, but the ones who have already had it done to them know what it is first hand, so I dont think that pic is going to shock them?

 

[Piper84]

look how he is being grabbed by the neck. Thats a really sad photo, but I dont really see your purpose in posting it?

It's shock value.

This is just the wikipedia photo that accompanies the article on using soap in the mouth as a punishment.

The sad thing is, it seems like someone who knew this child scanned and uploaded the picture, going by the file name used.

 

[LoraLoo]

look how he is being grabbed by the neck. Thats a really sad photo, but I dont really see your purpose in posting it?

It's shock value.

This is just the wikipedia photo that accompanies the article on using soap in the mouth as a punishment.

The sad thing is, it seems like someone who knew this child scanned and uploaded the picture, going by the file name used.

Yes, I noticed that too.

 

[Piper84]

Disgusting behavior from so called role models.

Too far. People need to stop offending other people's parents and the choices they made with the information they had at the time.

What's more important, a parent's right to feel offended or children's right not to have soap force fed to them?