Soap in the Mouth....

[Dragonfly]

I think any one that disagrees of fights for child advocacy will be shot down by the way this thread goes.

 

[TriChick]

You'd be calling social services for a little soap in the mouth?

Forcing soap into the mouth of an adult would be assault. Why do we have lower standards for the way we treat children?

Disgusting behavior from so called role models.

Too far. People need to stop offending other people's parents and the choices they made with the information they had at the time.

And putting soap in to a child's mouth isnt far at all. People need to start respecting children. I fight for child advocacy and always will. I do not care if adults are offended who so nasty things to children. I am offended at that sort of parenting.

We DO respect children, you aren't the only one. For God's sake, the majority of us come on here daily to find better ways to parent. We dedicate time and energy to learn how to be better parents, much like many of our parents did for us. Parenthood evolves, like anything else in life. My grandparents took my sister and I into their home well into their 60s, and proceeded to raise two young children with more love than most people experience in two lifetimes. They sacrificed EVERYTHING they had to ensure that we never went without, and altered their entire life to make us their absolute priority. My grandfather was a WWII pilot, a teacher, an author, a ship captain, and an artist. My grandmother, well she was simply one of the kindest human beings to ever walk the face of the earth. She taught us grace, dignity, and equipped us with every tool imaginable to ensure that our lives were filled with happiness, success, and love.

You bet your ass they were role models.

 

[TriChick]

I think any one that disagrees of fights for child advocacy will be shot down by the way this thread goes.

I don't agree with that at all. I think there have been opposing views on here that were respected. I personally had no problem whatsoever with people who expressed their opinion, considering that many of us actually agree that it isn't something that we would chose to do to our children.

I think some people chose to take it to an extreme, and tempers flared. People's loved ones were insulted, and advocating for them was viewed as condoning all child abuse.

In the quest to respect children, why can't we start by attempting to respect each other?

 

[Piper84]

I think any one that disagrees of fights for child advocacy will be shot down by the way this thread goes.

I don't agree with that at all. I think there have been opposing views on here that were respected. I personally had no problem whatsoever with people who expressed their opinion, considering that many of us actually agree that it isn't something that we would chose to do to our children.

I think some people chose to take it to an extreme, and tempers flared. People's loved ones were insulted, and advocating for them was viewed as condoning all child abuse.

No-one insulted anyone's loved ones. You and a few others here are the only ones choosing to make this about you personally and your relationship to your parents/guardians.

 

[Dragonfly]

You'd be calling social services for a little soap in the mouth?

Forcing soap into the mouth of an adult would be assault. Why do we have lower standards for the way we treat children?

Disgusting behavior from so called role models.

Too far. People need to stop offending other people's parents and the choices they made with the information they had at the time.

And putting soap in to a child's mouth isnt far at all. People need to start respecting children. I fight for child advocacy and always will. I do not care if adults are offended who so nasty things to children. I am offended at that sort of parenting.

We DO respect children, you aren't the only one. For God's sake, the majority of us come on here daily to find better ways to parent. We dedicate time and energy to learn how to be better parents, much like many of our parents did for us. Parenthood evolves, like anything else in life. My grandparents took my sister and I into their home well into their 60s, and proceeded to raise two young children with more love than most people experience in two lifetimes. They sacrificed EVERYTHING they had to ensure that we never went without, and altered their entire life to make us their absolute priority. My grandfather was a WWII pilot, a teacher, an author, a ship captain, and an artist. My grandmother, well she was simply one of the kindest human beings to ever walk the face of the earth. She taught us grace, dignity, and equipped us with every tool imaginable to ensure that our lives were filled with happiness, success, and love.

You bet your ass they were role models.

When you say We does that mean you put soap in your childs mouth? And why are you getting annoyed at my opinion for anyway if you are not doing anything wrong?
Can I not say I find this disgusting behavior?

 

[Dragonfly]

I think any one that disagrees of fights for child advocacy will be shot down by the way this thread goes.

I don't agree with that at all. I think there have been opposing views on here that were respected. I personally had no problem whatsoever with people who expressed their opinion, considering that many of us actually agree that it isn't something that we would chose to do to our children.

I think some people chose to take it to an extreme, and tempers flared. People's loved ones were insulted, and advocating for them was viewed as condoning all child abuse.

No-one insulted anyone's loved ones. You and a few others here are the only ones choosing to make this about you personally and your relationship to your parents/guardians.

Thank you.

 

[TennisGal]

Not ONE person on here has advocated this practice. Not ONE person has condoned it. Not ONE person has said they would do it to their children.

I never had it done to me, and I wouldn't dream of doing it to my girls.

Yet I am one of the people you are referring to in this thread because I feel some posts have been rude, disrespectful, crossed a very sensitive and personal line and in the fight to make a point, have actually made some fellow posters very upset.

I don't agree with the practice, but similarly I don't agree with persisting in upsetting my fellow poster by continuing to use inflammatory language.

 

[TriChick]

You'd be calling social services for a little soap in the mouth?

Forcing soap into the mouth of an adult would be assault. Why do we have lower standards for the way we treat children?

Disgusting behavior from so called role models.

Too far. People need to stop offending other people's parents and the choices they made with the information they had at the time.

And putting soap in to a child's mouth isnt far at all. People need to start respecting children. I fight for child advocacy and always will. I do not care if adults are offended who so nasty things to children. I am offended at that sort of parenting.

We DO respect children, you aren't the only one. For God's sake, the majority of us come on here daily to find better ways to parent. We dedicate time and energy to learn how to be better parents, much like many of our parents did for us. Parenthood evolves, like anything else in life. My grandparents took my sister and I into their home well into their 60s, and proceeded to raise two young children with more love than most people experience in two lifetimes. They sacrificed EVERYTHING they had to ensure that we never went without, and altered their entire life to make us their absolute priority. My grandfather was a WWII pilot, a teacher, an author, a ship captain, and an artist. My grandmother, well she was simply one of the kindest human beings to ever walk the face of the earth. She taught us grace, dignity, and equipped us with every tool imaginable to ensure that our lives were filled with happiness, success, and love.

You bet your ass they were role models.

When you say We does that mean you put soap in your childs mouth? And why are you getting annoyed at my opinion for anyway if you are not doing anything wrong?
Can I not say I find this disgusting behavior?

I think it's been explained over the past 17 pages that some of us had experienced this punishment first hand as children. It's painfully obvious that some of us have been sensitive to the fact that we shared this information and then watch our parents lumped into a group of vile and abusive so-called role models. By we, I mean those of us who spoke up to share our experience. By stating that, at least for some of us, it wasn't a horrific experience we were labeled as, essentially, advocates for the abuse of children. I'm honestly surprised that people are finding it hard to understand that we would be hurt by the words "vile", "disgusting", and so forth in relation to the people who have raised us and are very close to us. For us, those words aren't directed at some other parents in a distant world outside our realm of reality. They are our flesh and blood.

I'm hoping this clarifies why emotions have been raised in this topic the way they have. I don't think a single person on this forum has said that they personally utilize this practice.

 

[TriChick]

I think any one that disagrees of fights for child advocacy will be shot down by the way this thread goes.

I don't agree with that at all. I think there have been opposing views on here that were respected. I personally had no problem whatsoever with people who expressed their opinion, considering that many of us actually agree that it isn't something that we would chose to do to our children.

I think some people chose to take it to an extreme, and tempers flared. People's loved ones were insulted, and advocating for them was viewed as condoning all child abuse.

No-one insulted anyone's loved ones. You and a few others here are the only ones choosing to make this about you personally and your relationship to your parents/guardians.

If we experienced it, why wouldn't we take those things personally? Our parents are part of the name calling, aren't they? Or is it supposed to be directed at non-BnB members' parents? Just wondering

 

[Dragonfly]

Thats how I feel on the subject. I am sorry you are sensitive about it but that dosnt change my opinion. I also never said abusive, many others did though. What way would you like people who disagree to state how they disagree with this practise? I am sensitive myself to things like this done on children so I express how it makes me feel to. It angers me. I dont take it personally that you are angry at me for being angry either. I do still however think the behavior is disgusting. That wont change. Again I am sorry if that offends you. Or indeed if admin think I have stepped over the mark with my opinion please remove it.

 

[TriChick]

Thats how I feel on the subject. I am sorry you are sensitive about it but that doesnt change my opinion. I also never said abusive, many others did though. What way would you like people who disagree to state how they disagree with this practise? I am sensitive myself to things like this done on children so I express how it makes me feel to. It angers me. I dont take it personally that you are angry at me for being angry either. I do still however think the behavior is disgusting. That wont change. Again I am sorry if that offends you. Or indeed if admin think I have stepped over the mark with my opinion please remove it.

I would not want you to change your opinion at all, I respect that you feel the way that you do. I understand that you feel that the behavior is disgusting, and at no point was I attempting to condone the behavior myself. To be completely honest, I would venture to say that my grandparents would not have resorted to the same punishment now that they did at their wits end in 1989. I was not an easy child by any means I believe that some went overboard in their persecution of parents based on one poor judgement call, that's all. We make mistakes as parents sometimes, and I shudder at the thought that 20 years from now what I do based on current parenting recommendations might result in my child being told that I am a vile or abusive parent We all just try to do the best we can.

 

[Piper84]

I think it's been explained over the past 17 pages that some of us had experienced this punishment first hand as children. It's painfully obvious that some of us have been sensitive to the fact that we shared this information and then watch our parents lumped into a group of vile and abusive so-called role models. By we, I mean those of us who spoke up to share our experience. By stating that, at least for some of us, it wasn't a horrific experience we were labeled as, essentially, advocates for the abuse of children. I'm honestly surprised that people are finding it hard to understand that we would be hurt by the words "vile", "disgusting", and so forth in relation to the people who have raised us and are very close to us. For us, those words aren't directed at some other parents in a distant world outside our realm of reality. They are our flesh and blood.

I'm hoping this clarifies why emotions have been raised in this topic the way they have. I don't think a single person on this forum has said that they personally utilize this practice.

I said it was "vile" to downplay something such as force-feeding a child soap in the way that robinator has throughout the thread along with others.

It's a shame you can't be more objective when you look at your childhood and how you were raised/punished and your only response is defensiveness.

I find it more helpful to be able to look at how my parents did things from a distance instead of condoning everything they did and subconsciously making similar, sometimes misguided, choices.

A few people in this thread have said how traumatic it was for them, but their voices have effectively been drowned out by those who are offended by the suggestion that anything their parents did may be termed abusive, which is so not what this discussion is about.

 

[Lina]

Some posters need dragging into perspective with a visit or two to victims of real abuse.

Seems motherhood brings out the nastiness and complete tactlessness in them. Where any deviation from their ways is scolded. The reality is that this type of punishment was almost exclusive to a particular time and at that also the MOST mildest form of punishment.

 

[Piper84]

Some posters need dragging into perspective with a visit or two to victims of real abuse.

What's "real abuse"?

 

[TriChick]

I think it's been explained over the past 17 pages that some of us had experienced this punishment first hand as children. It's painfully obvious that some of us have been sensitive to the fact that we shared this information and then watch our parents lumped into a group of vile and abusive so-called role models. By we, I mean those of us who spoke up to share our experience. By stating that, at least for some of us, it wasn't a horrific experience we were labeled as, essentially, advocates for the abuse of children. I'm honestly surprised that people are finding it hard to understand that we would be hurt by the words "vile", "disgusting", and so forth in relation to the people who have raised us and are very close to us. For us, those words aren't directed at some other parents in a distant world outside our realm of reality. They are our flesh and blood.

I'm hoping this clarifies why emotions have been raised in this topic the way they have. I don't think a single person on this forum has said that they personally utilize this practice.

I said it was "vile" to downplay something such as force-feeding a child soap in the way that robinator has throughout the thread along with others.

It's a shame you can't be more objective when you look at your childhood and how you were raised/punished and your only response is defensiveness.

I find it more helpful to be able to look at how my parents did things from a distance instead of condoning everything they did and subconsciously making similar, sometimes misguided, choices.

A few people in this thread have said how traumatic it was for them, but their voices have effectively been drowned out by those who are offended by the suggestion that anything their parents did may be termed abusive, which is so not what this discussion is about.

Please refer to my previous posts where I stated that I do not personally condone the act and would not chose to use it for LO prior to assuming you know my parenting techniques and choices and offering up "helpful suggestions" on how to better handle things.

My response isn't defensiveness, it's an exhausting effort to explain to you repeatedly why you have offended people. Many of us tried to, at which point you have maintained a defensive posture. You have lashed out at people who were hurt by things you said. Unfortunately, I now realize that I wasted my breath.

 

[dani_tinks]

I had soap put in my mouth as a child and I completely and utterly hated my parents for it. I restented them and rebelled as a teenager. So I don't think it's a good form of punishment and I wouldn't dream of doing it.

 

[Andypanda6570]

Some posters need dragging into perspective with a visit or two to victims of real abuse.

Seems motherhood brings out the nastiness and complete tactlessness in them. Where any deviation from their ways is scolded. The reality is that this type of punishment was almost exclusive to a particular time and at that also the MOST mildest form of punishment.

Totally agree. So done with this thread. Just unbelievable, also did you know I mutilated my boys also? from how you put your baby to sleep to how you fed to everything. Thank God I don't post in the baby sections. I am a mother for 21 years and some of the things I have heard on this forum are just so hurtful and make you feel like shit, thank God I have - had confidence in the way I raised my sons and they ALL are responsible loving respectful amazing members of society. I have never been made to feel like this ever , so I am done now.. I don't post much as it is in these sections ( Usually the loss sections) Just will stick to there from now on.

 

[Piper84]

Please refer to my previous posts where I stated that I do not personally condone the act and would not chose to use it for LO prior to assuming you know my parenting techniques and choices and offering up "helpful suggestions".

My response isn't defensiveness, it's an exhausting effort to explain to you repeatedly why you have offended people. Many of us tried to, at which point you have maintained a defensive posture. Unfortunately, I now realize that I wasted my breath.

I wasn't referring to you personally, but everyone here who balks at the suggestion that anything their parents did was wrong.

That wasn't a "helpful suggestion" for you either, or anyone else, more a bit of self-reflection on my part. I personally don't care how you raise your child. What matters to me is children's rights in general.

There's a pattern emerging somewhere here...

 

[Lina]

Some posters need dragging into perspective with a visit or two to victims of real abuse.

What's "real abuse"?

It would need to satisfy severity and duration, neither which are present with soap and to a smaller element intention too. No authority would institutionalize a kid on a one-off incident like this.

 

[Piper84]

Some posters need dragging into perspective with a visit or two to victims of real abuse.

What's "real abuse"?

It would need to satisfy severity and duration, neither which are present with soap and to a smaller element intention too. No authority would institutionalize a kid on a one-off incident like this.

And if it was done over a long period of time?