Somebodys comment disturbed me...shall I say anything?

Discussion in 'Baby Club' started by tiggerpony, Nov 15, 2011.

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  1. tiggerpony

    tiggerpony Well-Known Member

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    I was with my friend the other day for coffe and she bought her friend along who has a 4 week old baby. We were talking about sleeping through the night, and I said Sophie has slept through night since she was 5 a bit weeks old. Her friend *Tess* asked me what I did to "make" her do it, and I said nothing really, she just started doing it but if she woke up and cried, and I knew she was warm, fed, etc I would "shhhh" her back to sleep and stroke her head (I don't have to do this anymore she just goes to sleep/ self soothes!)

    Anyway, she then replied "Oh, well *Bob* gets put to bed in his cot at 7pm and then I don't go to him until 8am the next morning. I shut the door and that's that, if he cries, then tough shit. Crying won't kill him. I was up all bloody night for 2 weeks of him whinging and crying and I'de had enough, he demands me all day so I think he needs to learn to sleep and let me sleep".... NOW - I am NOT against using controlled crying or the "shhhing" method.....but shutting a new born baby in a room for 13 hours straight...? She then told me she has been doing it for 2 weeks and the last 5 days or so she puts him to bed at 7pm and she doesn't hear a peep out of him until 8am then next morning...so "it worked"......Urgh.... do I say anything to anyone? I said at the time I thought maybe she should ask her doctor on it, as I was sure he might need a feed in the night...but she just shrugged and said he drank enough milk during day, and changed the subject. So, do I say anything? And if I do, to who? :shrug:
     
  2. tummymummy

    tummymummy mummy of 2 and growing 1

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    Oh my lord i would personally say something i dont usually get involved but this is scary. xxxxxxxxxxx
     
  3. stardust599

    stardust599 Well-Known Member

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    Wow. I am in no way against CIO or CC on older babies/toddlers but a newborn and 13hours!!!!!! That's insane and a bit cruel if you ask me :-(

    I don't think saying anything would do any good though hun and it's not something you could report xx
     
  4. Quackquack99

    Quackquack99 Well-Known Member

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    I'd say something. She seems a bit selfish
     
  5. tiggerpony

    tiggerpony Well-Known Member

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    So - you dont think Social services would class it as neglet? I am not against using CC either or CIO but even I thought a newborn 13 hours in a room alone was bad!
     
  6. xcharx

    xcharx Well-Known Member

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    Breaks my heart to read that.. a 4 week old still needs feed during the night.. I don't think there's any point in saying anything now - the damage has been done seeing as he no longer wakes x
     
  7. KatieB

    KatieB Well-Known Member

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    I'm in shock. 13 hours is a long time to go without food/drink for an adult, why would she expect her tiny baby to be able to do this. The not comforting him during the night is so very upsetting too, he could have wet his nappy through or soiled his sheets, been sick, anything can happen. Why do people have babies if they expect them to conform to their schedule, it's pathetic and in this instance, disgusting. IMO it is neglect, yes. I'm hoping she was exaggerating tbh.
     
  8. stardust599

    stardust599 Well-Known Member

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    I don't think so, I don't know! You could always phone anonymously and report it anyway, even if nothing gets done it would ease your mind a bit knowing that if any other concerns are reported they have a report of yours too. xx
     
  9. tummymummy

    tummymummy mummy of 2 and growing 1

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    Surely social services would do something its really upset me, poor little mite depends on his mummy to care for him. Truly awful xxxxxxxx
     
  10. Kittifer

    Kittifer Well-Known Member

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    I see a lot of your threads about your friends who recommend some awful things. I hate to say it but maybe you should get some better friends.
     
  11. Mum2b_Claire

    Mum2b_Claire Mummy to Ruby & Scarlett!

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    Surely that is neglect, I would imagine the vast majority of 4 week olds need feeding in that period so if not feeding a hungry baby isn't neglect I don't know what is.
     
  12. jcg0506

    jcg0506 Well-Known Member

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    My heart breaks for that poor baby! I don' t know what constitutes criminal neglect, especially as you're in a different country from me, but I might research it a little or ask someone. Surely there's a hotline or something you can call.
     
  13. lau86

    lau86 Well-Known Member

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    I feel sick at the thought of a tiny baby lying for 13 hours hungry in it's own poo, wee and sick. That poor child. How could anyone do that. People who are violent to babies get strung up well in my opinion this is no different. Has this woman not realised that the reason the baby has stopped crying is because he feels all alone in this world....
     
  14. Shabutie

    Shabutie Mum to Amara & #2 on way

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    I think even if you were to say anything to her, then unfortunately I feel it would go in one ear and out the other, because to her she is doing nothin wrong, and it works, so why fix it. Despite what others may think. I know I have my ways of doing things and when I get questioned on them, it really annoys me because I feel people feel I dont know what Im doing. I dont do things like this lady has done nor am I condoning it, but she may feel the same way, so could be opposed to new ideas/others ideas.

    I wouldnt know who else to mention it to.
     
  15. lau86

    lau86 Well-Known Member

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    Not forgetting that even Taking all the above out of it, she is not going to win the battle as her child will probably have emotional problems as a result of her neglect and will 'demand' her more in the long run
     
  16. tiggerpony

    tiggerpony Well-Known Member

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    Hey this wasn't MY friend, I met my friend for coffe and she bought this other girl along. I didn't know her before this......but thanks for you input!
     
  17. cat lover

    cat lover Mummy to 2 girls

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    So cruel. The baby doesn't cry because he knows noone will come. Just terrible
     
  18. cissyhope

    cissyhope Pregnant with no 2

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    oh no :( poor baby! i think this is neglect! maybe get some advice off SS,see what they say?
     
  19. Cattia

    Cattia Well-Known Member

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    We did some training on different forms of abuse at work (I am a teacher) and neglect is classified as a form of abuse. Not meeting a child's basic needs, whether they are physical or emotional is classed as neglect and should be reported. I am not one for getting involved in other people's parenting choices but you can hardly stand by and allow a child to suffer abuse and not do anything about it.
     
  20. Pielette

    Pielette Mum to little men

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    That breaks my heart, poor little thing. There is no way in hell a 4 week old baby can go through the night without needing feeding or changing.
     
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