Sooo scared!!!!

[medic9114fun]

Had a better day today.
I was already I'm counselling for post traumatic stress after a bad call at work. My last 2 sessions were not even work related. All focused on my anxiety around vein pregnant and my life changing. I hadn't last session today and it wet really well. I wouldn't say happy yet but today not as anxious.

Also called to book my integrated prenatal screening and the lady at the office was soooo amazing. My dr wouldn't book me for anything other than these tests and tolde he didn't want to see me unless there was a problem. Very upsetting.
When I called to book she asked how far alomg I was. I told her I thought 9 weeks and he asked what my satin ultrasound said. When I told her my dr would book one she said she would book me in early, knowing they couldn't do the tests yet, so I could get an accurate date and see how things were. So thankful for her. So I have an ultrasound date finally for July 25th. Can't come soon enough!!!

Hopefully everyone has been having some better days

 

[Popples1]

Oh good, that definitely sounds like progress. Glad you have a scan date too. Mine isn't until 12th Aug

I've had a couple of fairly good days recently. Struggling with my sleep though - I'm out like a light by 9pm but today I've been awake since 3.30. Maybe I'm going to sleep too early but it's hard not to when I feel so tired!

 

[geordie_gal]

Im tired, get into bed and drift off and wake up around 2am feeling panicky and cant sleep.
Keep having horrendous nightmares also.

Glad you're feeling better x

 

[medic9114fun]

I'm usually up every 1 1/2 - 2 hours at night. I hate it. I either have to pee or like you had a nitemare.
Yesterday was a good day. We will see what the next few bring

Still don't feel like myself but after talking to my counsellor yesterday definitely felt better than usual.

 

[medic9114fun]

So as I was browsing around the Internet today I came upon this,...
https://skepchick.org/2010/02/what-pregnant-women-wont-tell-you-ever/
The first one on it is basically how I was feelin when I wrote the first post on here. Sill feel this way too

Thought I'd share

 

[geordie_gal]

Everyone acts like your supposed to enjoy every second of pregnancy.
I spoke to a friend today who is due with number 2 and she was on a rant about how much she hates being pregnant. Made me feel a bit better x

 

[medic9114fun]

I wish I could talk to my friends that just had babies.... I wonder if any of tem ever felt that way

 

[Popples1]

So as I was browsing around the Internet today I came upon this,...
https://skepchick.org/2010/02/what-pregnant-women-wont-tell-you-ever/
The first one on it is basically how I was feelin when I wrote the first post on here. Sill feel this way too

Thought I'd share

Great link. I particularly loved 'It’s like explaining mustard to a frog'! We are the brave ones who dare to say that we're scared. I'm sure there are many more of us out there suffering in silence x

 

[medic9114fun]

I guess it's like mental illness. Too taboo to talk about.
I thought I was prepared. Low and behold I'm terrified an anxious. Far from what I always thought it would be. It's always depicted and happy and joyous times.

Hopefully people will begin o talk about it like we have been. It is definitely nice to know I'm not alone in how I feel

 

[Mrs Doddy]

I want to be pregnant obviously, now the excitment has worn off and the scaredness has set in after a mc and a difficult and worrying pregnancy after that , its all come flooding back how your body is in control and there is not alot you can do about it. Its no fun at times but this time will be the last so I need to try and relax

 

[geordie_gal]

Hows everyone doing? x

 

[Popples1]

I've had a couple of fairly good days. My symptoms have calmed down today (8+3) so I keep actually forgetting I'm PG. This brings its own problems though as I'm wondering if everything is ok in there! Still not my old happy-go-lucky self but feeling less like a zombie today. Had a few tears at the weekend but might have just been general strop! How are you?

 

[geordie_gal]

Had a really bad day yesterday, me and the fella actually stopped speaking for the first time ever, and thats just all down to stress and stupid niggling arguments that mean nothing.
My symptoms seem to have died down at 11+3 hopefully they'll stay away! x

 

[medic9114fun]

I've been back and forth as usual. Last few days its all I can do to get out of bed. Not sleepy or anything but don't want to get out of bed. Hubby is tryin but doesn't get it right now
On top I feel absolutely horrible as I was doing so well with quittim smoking and yesterday had a really bad day with it and smoked. Back to step one today.
I swear I just want to stay in my bed for a week away from all people lol. Sadly it isn't possible as I have to go to work tonight

I'd love to just feel like ME again soon. Any time now would be great

 

[Popples1]

How is everyone?

 

[medic9114fun]

Last night and this morning have been rough. Just tired an unhappy all the time.
Hubby is so excited and really I'm still not. I have my forst ultrasound on Thursday so maybe that will excite me about this.

I know I'm gaining a lot from this but all i think about is what I have to give up...

I feel like a horrible person

 

[Popples1]

Last night and this morning have been rough. Just tired an unhappy all the time.
Hubby is so excited and really I'm still not. I have my forst ultrasound on Thursday so maybe that will excite me about this.

I know I'm gaining a lot from this but all i think about is what I have to give up...

I feel like a horrible person

You're not, you're just trying to mentally prepare yourself. I keep having the same thoughts but am trying not to feel too guilty. I've definitely been happier lately but still not feeling like my normal self x

 

[medic9114fun]

Thanks. I've had some good days just last night and this morning were really tough.

I almost wish when I go to my ultrasound thy say whoops looks like you're further along that we thought. Then it will be over sooner lol

 

[Popples1]

Thanks. I've had some good days just last night and this morning were really tough.

I almost wish when I go to my ultrasound thy say whoops looks like you're further along that we thought. Then it will be over sooner lol

You might feel different when you see the scan. I'm still having moments where I don't believe it's in there! I think a lot of the problem just now is I'm so exhausted I can't be bothered to find the joy in anything. I just want to eat and sleep.

 

[medic9114fun]

I know that feeling. I have so many thing I'm supposed to do but it's all I can do to work and eat. Sadly I'm exhausted but hae trouble sleeping at night.
Hubby is trying hard to make me feel better but most times I just don't want anyone to touch me or anything. Poor guy.