Sooo scared!!!!

[medic9114fun]

Well how did everyone's weekend go?

I
Worked all weekend and other than being horribly tired and a couple of nauseous moments. It was ok. Can't tell if the nausea was preg related or being in the back of the ambulance trying to do paperwork on a patient and trying to read stuff and treat them.

I haven't been too bad with the anxiety but haven't had much time to even think about it.
I feel bad I'm still not excited. Makes me feel like I'm a bad person or will be a bad mom when I'm like that.

I do have moments of acceptance lol. Not excitement but not horrible anxiety.

Hubby and I had a few talks about baby.

How is everyone else doing?

 

[Popples1]

I just feel really flat and gloomy, like I'm not really enjoying anything. I'm not panicking so much anymore but I'm definitely not my normal self. Am wondering if its just hormones (hoping its not anything worse). Feeling v fed up. The silly thing is, I had a nice relaxing weekend. Saw some friends on Friday and had an evening with MIL, FIL and my parents on Sat eve. Really hope I snap out of this soon

Edit: perked up a bit this afternoon. Thank GOODNESS! Keep picturing a sleepy baby in my arms to get excited

 

[geordie_gal]

I had an OK weekend, seemed to sleep a lot better and not worry as much.
Im feeling a bit crap today though, I just feel fat and lazy cant be bothered to motivate myself to do anything x

 

[medic9114fun]

I have zero motivation today too. Took me 45 mins to get out of bed lol

I'd have stayed there but have stud to do today that I actually have to do.

The tiredness has definitely hit me lately

 

[Popples1]

I had a random energetic day yesterday but am back to being shattered again today. Still can't decide whether I'm excited / scared from one second to the next!

 

[medic9114fun]

I'm hopin maybe my ob can shed some light on it for me. Have you talked to you dr about it at all popples?

Apparently prenatal depression is as common and postnatal. I just learnt that the other day.

I'm hoping once horomones settle it will get better. I'm super irritable last few days and still back and forth too.

I know everyone says horomones but where is the line between hormone and needing some help to cope? I just want to feel like me again

 

[geordie_gal]

I feel A LOT better today, mind I was awful this morning when Dan left for work but as the day has gone on I'm feeling more positive and less nervous. It kind of comes and goes for me. I hate these hormones theyve turned me into some kind of devil woman lol x

 

[Popples1]

I'm hopin maybe my ob can shed some light on it for me. Have you talked to you dr about it at all popples?

Apparently prenatal depression is as common and postnatal. I just learnt that the other day.

I'm hoping once horomones settle it will get better. I'm super irritable last few days and still back and forth too.

I know everyone says horomones but where is the line between hormone and needing some help to cope? I just want to feel like me again

I think my issue is just that I don't cope with change very well. I seem to have a fear of the unknown, not being in control and failing. Big events seem to trigger my anxiety. Might try speaking to the MW again next week but the last one wasn't very helpful so I'm a bit reluctant to be honest again

 

[medic9114fun]

Those ate my exact fears. I figured some of it out while I was In Counselling for work related trauma.

I've always been bad with change and control. I'm sooooo much worse lately.

I'm trying hard to work trough the anxiety/panic attacks. I've never had a baby before so I have no idea what to expect like you...

I'm just not sure what options we have for help or if its all on us to figure out. I haven't seen my dr yet either.

 

[Popples1]

How's everyone today? I'm not too bad just now. Still can't picture myself with a bub but at least I'm not crying and panicking at the moment!

 

[geordie_gal]

I cant picture myself with a baby and do you know what my biggest fear is?
What if I dont bond with it, what if I just look it and go 'meh' when everyone says its such a life changing experience... and what if I just cant be a mam, what if the baby hates me.
ARGH x

 

[AlwaysDreamin]

I have those fears too Geordie_gal
Which I don't get, because I've always wanted to be a mom and we tried for so long to conceive. I guess it's just that fear of the unknown again.
My god, is there anything us ladies aren't panicking about at the moment? Lol.

On the plus side, my fears of giving birth have calmed down.... For now!! x

 

[medic9114fun]

All my fears are still there too. Definitely can't picture myself with a baby... I don't even like holding other friends babies ... One of my friends told me she was the same and once it is yours you feel better with it.

Here's hoping that's true. I worked nights last night and decided when I came home its a bed day lol. I don't have the energy to be around people today.

 

[Popples1]

All my fears are still there too. Definitely can't picture myself with a baby... I don't even like holding other friends babies ... One of my friends told me she was the same and once it is yours you feel better with it.

Here's hoping that's true. I worked nights last night and decided when I came home its a bed day lol. I don't have the energy to be around people today.

My friend said the same thing. She is besotted with her little boy but she still admits she 'doesn't really like' other people's kids!

 

[Popples1]

I cant picture myself with a baby and do you know what my biggest fear is?
What if I dont bond with it, what if I just look it and go 'meh' when everyone says its such a life changing experience... and what if I just cant be a mam, what if the baby hates me.
ARGH x

Yeah, that really worries me too. I've always loved children and was babysitting from the age of 14 (I'm now 30 so it's a while ago!) though so I know I have it in me somewhere. I'm also a big traveller and keep wondering how I'm going to fit that around a child, I guess there's nothing to stop baby coming with us though

 

[AlwaysDreamin]

This is going to sound terrible.... But I hate other people's kids! Lol.
Except for my little niece, I totally adore her. It's different when you have a bond with them. Although I was extremely nervous with her when she was a newborn, as soon as she got a few months older, I wanted to help with everything! Haha.
You don't have to answer this question as I understand its personal, but were any of your pregnancies planned? Or a complete surprise?
Mine was kind of both, we were trying (not actively, just NTNP) but we'd come to the conclusion that it may never happen. And then it did! Totally out of the blue! x

 

[Popples1]

Ours was also sort of both. We were definitely actively trying but it was our first month TTC so was a complete shock to get a positive, especially as I had all my usual AF symptoms. I just remember thinking 'oh my god, it actually works!'. We have some close friends who have been struggling to conceive for a couple of years so I somehow thought it would be a lot harder for us. Delighted that it wasn't, but also very surprised!

 

[AlwaysDreamin]

Wow popples! What a surprise! I guess you didn't have much time to get used to the idea of getting pregnant before it actually happened then.
I'd sort of put it to the back of my mind... We hadn't been using contraception for over 2 years... So to get that BFP was a huge shock! Lol. I wasn't prepared.
I was also convinced AF was coming, same cramps, same bloating, everything... I waited 8 days to test!

It's made me believe that these things happen when they are meant to (I'm not religious or anything like that) but its so strange how these things work out! x

 

[Popples1]

Wow popples! What a surprise! I guess you didn't have much time to get used to the idea of getting pregnant before it actually happened then.
I'd sort of put it to the back of my mind... We hadn't been using contraception for over 2 years... So to get that BFP was a huge shock! Lol. I wasn't prepared.
I was also convinced AF was coming, same cramps, same bloating, everything... I waited 8 days to test!

It's made me believe that these things happen when they are meant to (I'm not religious or anything like that) but its so strange how these things work out! x

Totally agree. I'm a big believer in what's meant to be

 

[medic9114fun]

This is going to sound terrible.... But I hate other people's kids! Lol.
Except for my little niece, I totally adore her. It's different when you have a bond with them. Although I was extremely nervous with her when she was a newborn, as soon as she got a few months older, I wanted to help with everything! Haha.
You don't have to answer this question as I understand its personal, but were any of your pregnancies planned? Or a complete surprise?
Mine was kind of both, we were trying (not actively, just NTNP) but we'd come to the conclusion that it may never happen. And then it did! Totally out of the blue! x

This was same for us. We had been nt trying by not not trying for a year. I figured it jut wasn't goin to happen and all of a sudden I missed a period. Didnt think much of it as I have been late before lol

Still a shock really. I was just gettin ready to talk to hubby about adoption the day the test was positive lol

Hopefully I have some instinct in there somewhere.