Sorry, depressing thread.

[Elhaym]

Sooo.....

Apparently my OH has suddenly decided he's still not ready.

Wuld have been nice to know this BEFORE we'd been having unprotected sex for 3 months, wouldn't you agree?

What worries me if, what if I had got PG? Would he have pretended to be happy? What would he have done if I'd shown him a BFP?

What worries me MORE is, I'm 7 DPO right now, what if I'm pg and it's too early to tell?

Never thought I'd actually dread AF not arriving.

Just want to go home and cry under the duvet for hours.

I cannot believe he's done this to me again. He did the same a year ago and I agreed to wait.

Sorry girls. Might not post as much for a bit. Maybe he'll come around, maybe not. Huge love to you all though, you're all amazing and I hope I can carry on sharing our journey soon. I'll still be around but not posting all the time.

 

[July28th]

I'm so sorry Elhaym. I hope it works out for the best. Let us know how things are when you feel like it

 

[MrsGM]

Massive hugs hun! Hope you can sort things out soon, we'll be here waiting for you to return

 

[fumbles]

Oh so sorry to hear that. Guys can be such weird creatures when TTC. I recommend you put on katie Perrys song 'hot 'n cold' grab your hair brush and sing it a full pelt -preferably in his direction -to get all your anger and frustration out.

My DH always changes his mind but I know we are WTT anyway and haven't got a definate date to start so it only mildly annoys me at the moment.

I have heard that many guys change as soon as the they see the BFP or when the baby is born, remember he will have a paternal instinct!
My good friend for example was a complete party animal always out with his mates or GF and doing crazy things, anyway his GF fell pg with his baby and he changed overnight, within a few months he had got his own place for GF and baby (lived with parents previously), he decorated it from top to bottom and got a good paying steady job. I was in complete shock!

Even now 3 years on he's talking to me about the Barbie playset he's saving for for his LO and I'm just rubbing my eyes in disbelief!

One day you'll look back on the day you sang Hot 'n cold at your OH and laugh while cradling your LO in your arms

feeling this is temporary I promise!

 

[Carreg]

and some more - I know just how you feel, my OH did this to me a month after we started NTNP and it broke my heart. He came round in another month though so don't give up hope. Maybe just have a really good talk with him about how important this is to you. Don't be a stranger hun, I for one will miss you (if you want to add me on FB feel free ). FX'd he is back on side very very soon. If you wan tto talk you know where I am

xxxx

 

[wannabmamma]

hun im going through the same thing!! we were NTNP for months and yesterday OH announced he wants to WTT untill next summer. AF is due on wednesday and i have a slight feeling i might be pregnant now!!

Hope he changes his mind hun xxx

 

[Dumpling]

Oh Elhaym, I'm so sorry. Boys are such buggers sometimes. I think when it starts to get too real they freak out a bit. I really, really hope he sorts himself v soon & you'll be back with us. PM me anytime if you need to chat at all. xxxxxxxxxxx

 

[nov_mum]

oh no, I hope it's just a bit of cold feet. Did he tell you why? I really hope it all works out for you

 

[notquite]

I'm sorry to hear that honey

 

[BabyBlondex]

Massive hugs babe, men are are VERY undecisive and im sure he's just scared, its normal to get like that, my OH did aswel when he found out i was pregnant, even though we had been trying lol. He'll come around, men just need that extra push of persuasion...
xxx

 

[Elhaym]

Hi ladies,

Thank you all for your supportive messages. I really mean it, I have no one else to talk to about this as no one knows about NTNP so it really does help.

We had a good chat last night and things seem a bit better. He is having one of his mad worrying spells about money etc, which I can understand and it's good he's thinking about stuff like that, but there's not really much I can say - we won't be loaded but we'll manage!

I'm not really sure what we've decided yet, coming to the end of this cycle so assuming no BFP we'll have to see. One major factor is that he has put in for a new job which starts interviewing in January, so IF he gets that that's a BIG wage rise for him - so fingers crossed because that essentially solves the problem. If he doesn't, who knows...

@ Laura, I remember when the same happened with your OH! Bloody men!

@ Fumbles, so true, and he has even admitted that - until he actually SEES a BFP it's impossible to imagine how he'll feel or what it will actually be like! I just know he will be amazing!

I'm going to stick around - if he's still not sure will probably use pull out method until January (I'm not going back on the pill!) and see what happens from there.

Thank you amazing lovely ladies, I'm not going anywhere! I'd go mad without this site!

 

[Carreg]

Sounds like he is at least worrying for good reasons, and not just because he's getting cold feet. FX'd for the job in January, it sounds like that would be an amazing opportunity for him and would help sort out some of his worries

xxx

 

[Elhaym]

Haha I just remembered - I told him how the menstrual cycle works last night - he had NO idea. He said he'd actually not wanted to BD for a few days, which I'd noticed and thought was weird. He was scared, bless....

I explained about how the fertile time is only a week or so, after which nothing can happen, and that's where I am now. He was like 'oooooooh, I get it!' there and then. LOLLLLLLLLLLLL

 

[Elhaym]

Sounds like he is at least worrying for good reasons, and not just because he's getting cold feet. FX'd for the job in January, it sounds like that would be an amazing opportunity for him and would help sort out some of his worries

xxx

Yeah. TBH there were a couple more reasons too, which were a little selfish IMO, I'm not gonna go into it here but amounts to him needing to grow up a bit and remember he's not 18 anymore.

I think he will always have cold feet to an extent, until it actually becomes a reality and his brain has to actually deal with it. Right now it's such a foreign concept to him.

FX for the job too, it all hangs on that really!

 

[Carreg]

Men! Clueless!! FX'd you get a BFP this month and don't have to worry about preventing til January!

xxx

 

[Lucy2469]

Oh my word, I just stopped by to offer sympathy and then found myself laughing at your last post, Elhaym! You gotta love men...do they just blank out biology at school?! My OH was fascinated the other week when I explained cycles...and he's a qualified nurse!

Anyway, just wanted to send loads of love to you and hope that you and your OH are 'on the same page' soon. It sounds like a tricky situation but i'm sure you'll get there Glad to hear you won't be going back on the pill, I know I couldn't face it again now! xxx

 

[Carreg]

Yeah. TBH there were a couple more reasons too, which were a little selfish IMO, I'm not gonna go into it here but amounts to him needing to grow up a bit and remember he's not 18 anymore.

This is EXACTLY the same as my OH. I could have written that myself!

xxx

 

[Elhaym]

Laura, they are long lost brothers I'm telling you!

Thanks Lucy! I am feeling a bit better after a good chat last night. Am defo not going back on pill, I feel a million times better off it plus I don't want to bugger my cycles up. It'll be withdrawal or abstinence for him I'm afraid.

 

[Carreg]

Best make sure they never meet, they'd probably run off together and leave us baby-less behind them

xxx

 

[MrsGM]

Best make sure they never meet, they'd probably run off together and leave us baby-less behind them

xxx

not wanting to gatecrash but was a little confused as I'm a Laura too