Spanking kids can cause long-term harm

[Mummy2B21]

I don't agree with smacking I think it just teaches violence imo I wont be smacking my kids

 

[Sideways 8]

For the ones who DO agree with spanking - what are things your children do that constitute a spanking? Not judging, just curious.

For me, it would be a last resort when other forms of discipline failed to work. Like when you tell a kid to stop doing ____. They do it again, so you give them a time out. And again, so you extend a time out (or whatever). Then they do it yet again, you give them a spanking. This is how it worked in my house when we were growing up. We got good spankings too, they hurt, but weren't enough to leave marks if that makes sense. A little tap on the tushy is probably not going to make a lasting impression on a kid... if you know what I mean.

If there is something that would forfeit the time outs and go immediately to a spanking, I haven't really thought about that. I'm sure there are some extreme behaviors that may warrant it, but... haven't crossed that bridge yet.

JMO.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

My victimology professor told us there was a study done involving criminals and spanking. It did show that if you were spanked as a child, you would be more likely to commit criminal acts. I'll have to do a bit of googling to find it.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Hope these links work:

This is an article from 1996 researching spanking and a violent society: https://pubpages.unh.edu/~mas2/CP31.pdf

Another one researching the benefits of never spanking: https://www.springerlink.com/content/3h66pch1lhl10dec/

Here's another older article about a debate on spanking: https://ceep.crc.illinois.edu/eecearchive/digests/1997/ramsbu97.pdf

Google scholar is ace

 

[Brookey]

I agree with Jessica, I personally wont bother with spanking, im going straight for good old fashioned water boarding

 

[whit.]

Interesting.

Apparently it depends the age you spank.

https://www.news1130.com/news/local/article/14290--study-spanking-could-have-its-benefits

 

[Ruth 1980]

I agree with Jessica, I personally wont bother with spanking, im going straight for good old fashioned water boarding

 

[MizzDeeDee]

Interesting.

Apparently it depends the age you spank.

https://www.news1130.com/news/local/article/14290--study-spanking-could-have-its-benefits

I don't know about other parents.. but my Dad stopped spanking me once I got older.. 10... 11? Something like that. He actually said we were "too old" for spanking. I don't know if others make that distinction or not.

As for what another poster said- My father would tell us to go to our rooms and wait for him and he would take time to calm down before he spanked us. It helped him.. and it certainly gave us time to think about what we did.

 

[snowflakes]

My victimology professor told us there was a study done involving criminals and spanking. It did show that if you were spanked as a child, you would be more likely to commit criminal acts. I'll have to do a bit of googling to find it.

That's interesting ozzishunni, I really would like to read it. I have to say I was not spanked, my parents found other more civilized (I don't mean civilized in saying spanking isn't, I just couldn't find a better word to describe how they corrected us) ways to correct us. That being said, each to own, I would never judge someone for spanking, unless they really hurt the child of course.

 

[Babushka99]

I won't be smacking my daughter.

 

[alaskagrown]

Well, I was spanked and graduated in the top 5% of my high school class and even skipped a grade. I also have tons of friends, graduated college, and still have a wonderful relationship with my parents.

When I was spanked, it was reserved for the Class A Felony crimes of childhood mischievousness... I was probably spanked a total of 7-8 or less times and I can tell you I learned my lesson faster than you could could blink an eye!!! I'll probably be spanking my child if she reallllllly wants to push buttons! OH sees nothing wrong with spanking sparingly either.

 

[vintagecat]

The number of times I was spanked I can count on two hands. It was infrequent and was reserved for times when I was especially misbehaved. For example, I ran out into busy traffic to fetch a ball even though I knew it was dangerous. Another time, I purposely threw a baseball into the neighbor's window. I wasn't spanked immediately after doing these things. My parents would wait a while so that it wasn't an angry spanking. It was usually only a few swats on the butt and it didn't hurt so much as being ashamed of what I had done.

Honestly, it hurt way more if one of my parents raised their voices at us. YELLING at your children is the new spanking of today.

I would also like to mention that I am a well-adjusted adult. I won't be spanking my child, but I don't think my parents were wrong either.

 

[Lauki]

Interesting.

Apparently it depends the age you spank.

https://www.news1130.com/news/local/article/14290--study-spanking-could-have-its-benefits

I don't know about other parents.. but my Dad stopped spanking me once I got older.. 10... 11? Something like that. He actually said we were "too old" for spanking. I don't know if others make that distinction or not.

As for what another poster said- My father would tell us to go to our rooms and wait for him and he would take time to calm down before he spanked us. It helped him.. and it certainly gave us time to think about what we did.

Personally that situation would just make me terrified. Not make me think about what I had done. I think I would probably not do certain things because I was scared of the being hit by my parents, not because I understood what I did was wrong.

 

[fizzypop]

I was spanked as a child and I suppose I am considered intelligent.. I have a PhD. BUT I remember the sense of humiliation when I was hit. I don't feel that is helpful in discipline. Also, I felt too subordinate and it made me feel worthless.. I related pain with punishment and had little self respect. As a result, I suffered panic attacks, depression and self harm. Of course, this may not be related to spanking alone - my parents have never liked me, so I'm sure it is more complex. My husband, however, is very aggressive and I know that his mother was aggressive towards him, so maybe it is learned behaviour?

I don't know, and it is a personal choice, but for me spanking is not acceptable. I hope to instill high levels of discipline but I respect my child as a person too much to hit her.

 

[Quackquack99]

I won't be spanking/smacking my lo. I used to get hit by my parents when I did something wrong and I never learnt not to do something because it was naughty or dangerous I chose not to misbehave because I was scared my parents would have hit me. I used to fear my parents when I shouldn't have.

 

[carly_mummy2b]

I am so against hitting kids I think it's a vile thing to do!
I was hit as a child and it didn't stop me being naughty and made me scared of my parents!
Leta face it if a woman come on here saying her OH hit her it was be so unacceptable and we'd be telling her to leave him!
IN MY OPINION hitting a child is child abuse and I will never ever do it and will never ever understand why parents do it.

 

[Natsku]

Me and my brothers were spanked. Some of us turned out better than the others. Nothing to do with spanking, its just personality.

I don't know yet if I will spank Maria. At the moment I lean towards no but already in this past year my ideas of how to raise a child have changed a lot, so those ideas might change again in the next year or so.

 

[Mrs_Random]

I was spanked by my mother, but only if I had been really bad, and once I hit my teens I got privaleges removed instead.
My dad has the look, he still does, and that can still reduce me to tears! He never even raised his voice. My sister knows the same look, when she crashed her car at 22 she called me to get her and wanted me stood next to her when she told dad, it's a look of total disappointment and I could feel myself welling up even though it wasn't aimed at me!

My hubby was properly, belt removed and heated, spanked and from what I gather his dad was usually very angry when he did it. My hubby can get scary when he's angry, which I think is a result of this and also seeing his mother being beaten by his dad too. Though hubby would never hurt me or LO, he's very good at walking away when he's angry to avoid anything like this.

I don't think there is anything wrong with a slap on the hands to stop LO's touching something that could hurt them, but like someone else said, there is a difference between a slap and beating your kids, and I can see that from me and my hubby.

 

[chocolala]

i reakon the damage done to children with smacking depends on how well they were parented in all areas. ie, if the childs parents were extreamly loving and affectionate but used a smack as discipline then the 'damage' caused by the smack would be minimal or none at all as apposed to a child that recieved little love, affection and smacking i imagine the 'damage' would be far greater. if any of that makes sense, i'm suffering with having to get up 6 times last night!

i won't be using smacking, my mother did - she hit me a few times on the back of the hand with a hair brush, bloody hurt. other times just her hand. she always did it in anger. asd someone else mentioned, the humiliation it causes is huge and doesn't, in my mind, teach anything. all this along with her other poor parenting and narcissistic tendancies has made me a very anxious, fearful person with low self esteem.

 

[lindseymw]

i reakon the damage done to children with smacking depends on how well they were parented in all areas. ie, if the childs parents were extreamly loving and affectionate but used a smack as discipline then the 'damage' caused by the smack would be minimal or none at all as apposed to a child that recieved little love, affection and smacking i imagine the 'damage' would be far greater. if any of that makes sense, i'm suffering with having to get up 6 times last night!

I completely agree with this. I don't think smacking/spanking alone causes 'damage'. By smacking, I mean I quick tap on the bum/hand not a beating.

PS - Chocolala, I remember my mam using a slipper once, that bloody hurt too!