Started Fertility Testing..Need buddies...

[patienceiav]

Heya! Sorry I've been quiet, my mum surprised me with a visit for my birthday and I had the flu the whole time then for a week after!

So glad your IUI is done! Sounds like everything was good this time round, lots of swimmers good luck!

I had my appt with the Dr, she tried to get me to go away for 6months and just NTNP! If I wasn't so ill at the time I would have snapped at her, I can't believe the cheek. That's what you get for free health care. I managed to get her to send a remiss to the hospital, I think/hope we'll be put on the slow process towards ivf. Will know more when we get called to an appt, but I think it could be hard since hubby cannot drop everything and deposit, it has to be on days off sounds doomed from the start but I'm not gonna get ahead of myself!

 

[KatO79]

Thanks patience

So sorry that you've been sick, that's just the worse, especially if it's the flu

OMG that's just so frustrating with your doctor Can't you switch doctors and find someone who takes you more seriously? At least ours wasn't trying to make us keep trying although he did put us through a lot of other crap

Yeah I think it could be a problem if your DH can't take a couple of hours off to deposit. But I'm not sure how it works with an IVF though, if it can be more flexible to your DH's work. I know with IUI it'd be a problem because you only get a couple of days notice of when the actual IUI will be performed. Is it possible for your DH to make his samples at home before he goes to work and then you bring it in to the clinic? Or does the clinic want him to come in and make samples? Ours just lets DH make them at home.

AFM there may be drama from my sister on the horizon She wrote to me today over FB saying that a picture I put up embarrasses her and if I can take it down and what it's all about. Not sure which pic offends her so asked her which one she means. The only thing I can think of is an infertility folder I created and I put some different pics about infertility I've found through different sources over the net in there but I can't see how any of them are embarrassing to her and I've made it so only my FB friends can see them so none of them are on my time line. But there are more than one in there and I guess she can't figure out how to link the pic in her message since she just linked a pic of my cat that's my current cover pic and has been for months on end and I'm assuming it isn't the one she's referring to BTW this is the first I've heard from her in a couple of months or so since "Periodgate" and no questions on how I'm doing, just basically "Hi Kat, this pic is embarrasing me so please take it down"

But perhaps my brother has also been telling her lots of crap about me since they're on a joint trip to Disneyland with their kids and have been posting almost none stop pics of their kids doing different things.

UPDATE: So heard back from her and it seems as if someone has/had hijacked/hacked her FB profile She had no idea what I was talking about when I asked her about which pic she was referring to. So I'm assuming that that's what was going on and she's not schizo But still, I contact her about it and give her the heads up but no "thanks" and/or "how are you doing" or anything now that we're in contact or even an update on what's the deal until I go to her FB time line page and see she's warned everybody that her FB profile has been hacked recently Og well, makes me nervous about my FB page now, maybe I should change its status from "Public" to be more "Friends only"

 

[jjbubbles28]

Second IUI done. Had 4 follicles over 20. So we'll see. Feeling better Patience? how you feeling Kat? how many dpiui are you?

 

[KatO79]

Second IUI done. Had 4 follicles over 20. So we'll see. Feeling better Patience? how you feeling Kat? how many dpiui are you?

3 dpiui, not even bothering with symptom spotting until 6-7 dpiui since people don't implant before that anyway. But I'm going to try and avoid it all together since I've had something after each IUI so I'm going to try and tell myself that my body isn't reliable and see if I can just ignore things. After the 1st IUI, I had sore breasts and after the 2nd IUI, I started getting nausea at around 6-7 dpiui. So yes, unreliable body

 

[Sarah Jeffrie]

If you want to increase your fertility, there’s really no need to consume expensive prescription drugs. You simply need to modify your diet to a healthy one, which promotes fertility. There are certain foods and recipes that will promote your fertility without medication.

 

[KatO79]

If you want to increase your fertility, there’s really no need to consume expensive prescription drugs. You simply need to modify your diet to a healthy one, which promotes fertility. There are certain foods and recipes that will promote your fertility without medication.

Doesn't work for everyone, some people do have fertility issues no matter how healthy they eat. I consider myself to be a pretty healthy eater (I'm a pescetarian and have cut out alcohol and only drink max 2 cans of cola a week and pretty much 0 coffee) but still, no pregnancy. So some people do need the help of fertility treatments to acheive a pregnancy.

But if you haven't experienced infertility yourself, it can be very hard to understand. But I can assure you, it's not because we're all unhealthy people!

 

[patienceiav]

It's really not all down to diet, ofcourse eating well helps your hormones stay balanced but we're here for various reasons, everyone is different.

 

[KatO79]

It's really not all down to diet, ofcourse eating well helps your hormones stay balanced but we're here for various reasons, everyone is different.

Exactly what I was trying to tell her There can be underlying problems that make conceiving difficult for people that have nothing to do with their diet. Some can be explained, others can't and that's mostly because science hasn't been developed enough to uncover every single cause. Conceiving is such a complicated process and so much can go wrong. The wrong egg, the wrong sperm cell, a fertilized egg that divides too quickly creating mistakes in the division of DNA (which means non-viable pregnancy) ect. ect.

So yeah, long story short: diet isn't the end all of fertility. You can have perfectly healthy people that are health freaks that still have issues getting pregnant or getting a viable pregnancy.

 

[KatO79]

So I'm 8 dpiui today and have been pretty successful in avoiding symptom spotting But as usual, I'm prepared for AF to show up and am mentally preparing myself for being referred for IVF and being ready for IUI #4.

It'll be a lonely weekend DH was out last night with his big brother at a concert and today he's going to yet another concert with his annoying, narcissistic friend. To make it worse, this friend managed to get DH to agree to let him come over to our place at 1 PM even though the concert isn't until tonight He's just going to annoy me like crazy with complaining how tough a time he's having finding a job even though he knew I couldn't get a job in biotech either (mostly due to lack of connections since they seem to be alpha and omega here for getting an academic job when you're newly educated) and I only took 6½ years to get my Master's while he used 18 years I'm sure he'll annoy me with other things as well, he has no interest at all in what DH and I are doing and 95% of the time will ask me how the job hunting is going even though I've told him numerous times I'm on a break while we're going through assisted conception (which will be good if we need IVF since it'll require days off from work if I had a job). But he has no interest in having kids which means our baby plans don't interest him in the slightest, he can't even be politely interested. I don't know how I'm going to get through the day with him being here for so long

Hope everyone else is having a much better weekend than I've been having

UPDATE: Ughh, he came 1 hour earlier

 

[patienceiav]

Heya!

That sounds like a stinky weekend :/ I think i'm the same when it comes to kids though, I avoid them at all costs, don't interact with them and don't want to be near them so I can understand not wanting to hear about your TTC life, but the job stuff is just silly, if anything you two should be agreeing and bitching about the job situation over there right now ! Hope you find something to distract yourself with, some tea and a good book ? Any games you play on your PC ? I'm all alone today cuz hubby works till 7pm then is home at 8 !

I have had an ok weekend, got my nails done yesterday and found an amazing green tea, I ate healthy and stocked up the fridge with salad stuff after having pizza on friday i'm promising myself to be good all week then I will enjoy myself on the weekend, then easter the weekend after going to try to do some crafting on my cosplay armor today, i'm so good at leaving it alone despite how much i really want to do it, i'm still really new and keep screwing up so it's a bit discouraging

In TTC land i'm trying very hard not to track anything atm, the specialist only sent off the thing to the hospital on thursday, not LAST thursday like she said she would :/ oh well i can just hope that appt will give something ! I actually think i've not o'ed yet, i'm something like cd20 but had a sneaky check of cp/cm last night and seems fertile one of those long months !

 

[KatO79]

Heya!

That sounds like a stinky weekend :/ I think i'm the same when it comes to kids though, I avoid them at all costs, don't interact with them and don't want to be near them so I can understand not wanting to hear about your TTC life, but the job stuff is just silly, if anything you two should be agreeing and bitching about the job situation over there right now ! Hope you find something to distract yourself with, some tea and a good book ? Any games you play on your PC ? I'm all alone today cuz hubby works till 7pm then is home at 8 !

I have had an ok weekend, got my nails done yesterday and found an amazing green tea, I ate healthy and stocked up the fridge with salad stuff after having pizza on friday i'm promising myself to be good all week then I will enjoy myself on the weekend, then easter the weekend after going to try to do some crafting on my cosplay armor today, i'm so good at leaving it alone despite how much i really want to do it, i'm still really new and keep screwing up so it's a bit discouraging

In TTC land i'm trying very hard not to track anything atm, the specialist only sent off the thing to the hospital on thursday, not LAST thursday like she said she would :/ oh well i can just hope that appt will give something ! I actually think i've not o'ed yet, i'm something like cd20 but had a sneaky check of cp/cm last night and seems fertile one of those long months !

I just find it rude he doesn't at least remember we're trying to have a baby, it's like because children don't interest him then he forgets and keeps asking how it's going with the job hunting I'm not doing Then he rambles on for long periods about computer programming (that I understand zero of), politics and more about his job hunting and I get barely a word in edgewise and am half the time bored I think he has Narcissitic Personality Disorder to a lower degree since he's so fond of talking about himself and barely lets people contribute to the conversation, like he likes the sound of his own voice

Nope, to make things worse he's talking about how unemployment checks and any other benefits should be removed entirely because "....it'll get unemployed people to not be lazy and get a job!" I'm just trying to sit here and not bite his head off and smash him HARD in the head with my laptop I just put my headphones on with my Ipod so I'm free of listening to his garbage because it enrages me, to the point I want to kick him out of the apartment Thanks for pretty much telling me I didn't get a job because I'm lazy He just spouts all the junk he hears on TV from politicians that have no idea what it's like for the unemployed and just assume that ALL unemployed people are lazy, picky bums. Gahh The worst thing is DH isn't saying anything against this crap even though he doesn't agree with it, I don't fathom why, probably because he can be distracted and isn't hearing half of the stuff that's coming out Luckily the music is helping me to de-stress from hearing his garbage, half of the music on my small Ipod is "Glee" music which I find both good and relaxing, yes I'm a Gleek at 35 going on 36 years old

Sounds good I'm a bit horrible with taking care of my nails, I still am a bit of a nail biter but am trying to improve and stop entirely. Think it comes from the fact that my narcissistic mother criticized me since I was a small child and made me a nervous wreck. I bought some tea myself recently but it isn't green, it's chocolate tea Haven't tried it yet though and will need to not drink it too fast since it was a bit expensive. Think there's 50 g and it cost me almost 30 Danish kroner

I try to eat healthy myself during the week and go naughty on the weekends myself. Doesn't always succeed entirely though Aww I'm sure you'll get better the more you try Can you make some piece that is more of a practice thing so you can practice more freely without fear of messing up?

I think it might be good with a break from all the tracking. I found it stressful myself, hence why I stopped. How frustrating, why didn't they send it when they said they would? Hope the results are good If you're fertile now than hopefully O isn't far off Hope we soon both see our super sticky BFPs

 

[patienceiav]

Man he sounds like a real joy :/ why is your hubby friends with him again ??? good you can escape from him a bit, just count the minutes till they leave and you can have peace n quiet, put some candles on and enjoy the evening alone

Just had an epic salad, had around 10ingredients in ! That felt pretty good despite the fact I didn't gym today, i've only had one class since I got back to work from having the flu I didn't feel 100% today so I thought not to push it with all the time i've had off lately. That's not too bad I think, the one I picked up yesterday is about 50sek per 100g, I think that's on the cheap end of loose tea

Yeah nothing surprises me with the fertility specialists any more, this'll be the third one i'm going to since they just can't be bothered to check anything, they're just trying to drag it on as long as possible to try and get a magical natural bfp before they have to pay for my treatment ! Silly *******s.

At least hubby is grudgingly onboard, he really wants to have a natural conception and believes it'll happen if we "give up" we're on total disagreement there but at least he's willing to suck it up, he just really wants a kid NOW and is tired of all this Drs crap. I had to try and get him to see that it's a necessary evil to get what we both want

 

[KatO79]

Man he sounds like a real joy :/ why is your hubby friends with him again ??? good you can escape from him a bit, just count the minutes till they leave and you can have peace n quiet, put some candles on and enjoy the evening alone

Just had an epic salad, had around 10ingredients in ! That felt pretty good despite the fact I didn't gym today, i've only had one class since I got back to work from having the flu I didn't feel 100% today so I thought not to push it with all the time i've had off lately. That's not too bad I think, the one I picked up yesterday is about 50sek per 100g, I think that's on the cheap end of loose tea

Yeah nothing surprises me with the fertility specialists any more, this'll be the third one i'm going to since they just can't be bothered to check anything, they're just trying to drag it on as long as possible to try and get a magical natural bfp before they have to pay for my treatment ! Silly *******s.

At least hubby is grudgingly onboard, he really wants to have a natural conception and believes it'll happen if we "give up" we're on total disagreement there but at least he's willing to suck it up, he just really wants a kid NOW and is tired of all this Drs crap. I had to try and get him to see that it's a necessary evil to get what we both want

I have no idea This guy is horrible. To be honest, I used to be friends with him myself but figured it out after a few years and semi-dropped him (since I couldn't drop him entirely since DH and I became a couple in the meantime). I remember we were writing a short report together since we were taking the same class and agreed to meet up on a specific day. I was still living with my narc mother so I was on my way to his dorm when he suddenly canceled last second because one of our mutual friends showed up and he refused to kick him out so we could work which led to issues. I ended up finishing the report myself because we had to pull an all-nighter and he fell asleep while I was there. Then he tried to break DH and mine's budding relationship by stealing me mobile while I was using the bathroom (we were studying together) and call him although he luckily didn't get a hold of him. I don't know what was up with that I think my DH unfortunately has a weakness for damaged people and can't bring it over his heart to dump them when they becomes pests

The problem is they want to go out to eat so I have to come with. DH will drive us and then drive us back and they'll leave for the concert shortly after So I'll be forced to listen to him for a while when we eat I'm sure DH thinks I'm being rude by listening to my Ipod while the friend is here but if I am to get through dinner with him, I'll need some hours peace so I don't go nuts

Sounds yummy Yes, it's probably best to not push things for a while after having had the flu. It's expensive for us, we're used to buying those Pickwick teabags packs DH even bought an orange tea (since I have a weakness for fruit teas) and there's 250 g and cost around 30 Dkr. as well so 50 g for the same price sounds a bit expensive.

Oh don't get me started on that one, our GP was horrible about it as well. But when I told him after our 12th month that AF arrived, he did end up sending our referral. He was also probably hoping it'd happen but nope. Hang in there, it'll be worth it once you get that referral and can get the free treatments How much do you get for free over there? We get 6 free IUIs (they never do more) and 3 IVF tries and all the testing has been free as well.

Oh boy, I don't know why some men won't understand that conception can't always happen naturally More people are needing help to conceive, at least if they don't want to chance the natural and hope it suddenly happens. But it could take YEARS, if ever. This sounds like the whole "just relax and it'll happen" mantra I hear from diverse family members I'm sure it happens for some couples, that when they stop trying it happens but I think we're talking about the extremly lucky 1 in every million or something like that. But of course, THOSE are the stories that are making the rounds like wildfire and making people think that it works. So yes, if he wants a kid now, he'll need to go with assisted conception while to keep on trying naturally could result in it either taking years or it never happening. I'm so sorry he's not being super supportive That must be hard to hear from him, I'd be upset if my DH acted like that Maybe an RE can talk to him and tell him how the statistics are for couples with issues to keep trying naturally and how conception is and how much can go wrong ect. My GP was very blunt when we saw him before he referred us, he told us it was "highly unlikely" we would conceive naturally. Maybe yours can tell him the same so he can hear it from a professional and take it more seriously? Sometimes a miracle needs a little help.

 

[KatO79]

This is what I get for using the internet as entertainment while the jerk is here: a story to irritate me

Her side of the story: https://www.babble.com/pregnancy/expecting-twins-ruined-my-family/

His side of the story: https://www.babble.com/dad/expecting-twins-unhappy-with-pregnancy/

Just wow And they even went through assisted conception and chose to try with 2 embryos and now have the balls to complain that they're expecting twins These people don't sound like they should be having children at all

 

[patienceiav]

Blergh it makes you sick doesn't it :/ those articles are written to shock you though, but how dare they whine and complain on the internet about how awful it is to be having twins. Suck it up ! Sadly in sweden they only transfer one embryo at a time so we'll never have twins, but right now any baby would be a gift

 

[KatO79]

Blergh it makes you sick doesn't it :/ those articles are written to shock you though, but how dare they whine and complain on the internet about how awful it is to be having twins. Suck it up ! Sadly in sweden they only transfer one embryo at a time so we'll never have twins, but right now any baby would be a gift

Exactly! My DH was pretty appalled when I showed it to him. If they didn't want twins then they should've only opted for 1 embryo to be transferred I get that being pregnant can be uncomfortable and all but this seems to go beyond that. Even some of the people commenting agreed with them It's sickening

I don't actually know what the rules are here for embryo transfer, I might just find out

BTW as if having this jerk over and reading about ungrateful couples TTCing isn't enough, my sister decided to play smart-a** today on FB She posted a pic with something I liked so I liked it on her FB page. Her comment:

Wow! I finally got a like from (insert my full name here since she tagged me)...impressive

This coming from a woman who very rarely likes any of my posts herself, plus what's with the flippant way of saying it? Sorry I didn't non-stop like all those pics of your kids on FB on your and my brother's trip to Disneyland Going to ignore it so I don't feed into the drama

 

[patienceiav]

Wow, your family is like a bad soap opera i'm sorry you have to go through that ! It's totally unnecessary and rude of them, i'd be livid if anyone said that about me, let alone my own family.

Oh I was wrong about IVF here ! I googled the specific place we're being sent to one to two embryos they say, so maybe though the reality of getting twins is still very mini, I don't think hubby would be that keen on it, and I think the reality of twins probably is exhausting and emotionally draining. Thinking about it you can understand where that couple were coming from when faced with the possibility of both eggs failing and having to pay another treatment, but they shouldn't have transferred both if they honestly couldn't handle the idea of twins. I think i'd love them but the reality is terrifying, what if you choose to accept the possibility and then the reality causes your marriage to break down ? Especially if one parent is keen and the other not so much, the blame could easily be sent to the one who chose it Oh well that's a bridge we'll come to another day, I don't even know if we'll get IVF ! And it's a 4-6 month waiting list....

 

[KatO79]

Wow, your family is like a bad soap opera i'm sorry you have to go through that ! It's totally unnecessary and rude of them, i'd be livid if anyone said that about me, let alone my own family.

Oh I was wrong about IVF here ! I googled the specific place we're being sent to one to two embryos they say, so maybe though the reality of getting twins is still very mini, I don't think hubby would be that keen on it, and I think the reality of twins probably is exhausting and emotionally draining. Thinking about it you can understand where that couple were coming from when faced with the possibility of both eggs failing and having to pay another treatment, but they shouldn't have transferred both if they honestly couldn't handle the idea of twins. I think i'd love them but the reality is terrifying, what if you choose to accept the possibility and then the reality causes your marriage to break down ? Especially if one parent is keen and the other not so much, the blame could easily be sent to the one who chose it Oh well that's a bridge we'll come to another day, I don't even know if we'll get IVF ! And it's a 4-6 month waiting list....

Yes, it truely is When they're not being aggressive, they choose to be passive-aggressive (at least my mother and siblings are like that, plus my narcissitic aunt). DH said she may have meant it in a joking way but I doubt it, especially without the wink smiley which I'm sure she'd of used. I'm not too thrilled that she tagged me either, I'm actually friends with an English headhunter (who totally understood my choice to prioritize having a baby at this point in my life due to my age) and even though I may very well be uninteresting when I have had a baby and am ready to work, I don't appreciate her making me look bad off the bat But it's probably better not to start a discussion so there is no drama. It'll just blow up in my face if I say anything My brother will back her up, I'm sure. They live close together (he in Maryland, her in New York) and see each other pretty frequently (most recently on that Disneyland trip). Plus he has this sordid opinion of me so he'll go after me as well. Nope, not that stupid, not gonna touch it with a 10-foot pole.

I'm sure it is and I can understand some would find it daunting but this couple, as you also pointed out, chose to have 2 embies put up there and knew the risk of twins in that case. They shouldn't have agreed to it if they didn't want twins AT ALL, her fear of not getting pregnant that IVF round aside. If one is ok with it but the other is not, then it's probably best to choose a singleton pregnancy so both are happy. I think kids, no matter how many you have, are a strain on any marriage. Just imagine all the things you can fight about in the raising of the child. I think the divorce rates are highest during the child's first few years. But I believe that if the marriage was strong before and you agreed beforehand on how the child will be raised and have similar parenting methods, then it shouldn't be a huge issue. DH and I started discussing it when our relationship was serious and we'd moved in together so we knew we were on the same page when we were ready to have a child. I think it's important to avoid as much discussion and arguments as possible once the child is here so better to agree on how it's gonna go down beforehand

Wow, sounds like here, I think she said 4-5 months but it could've changed in the meantime since she said it at our 1st appointment in November last year. I just checked the clinic's webpage and they say 1 or 2 embies and any other good embies are stored in the freezer. But I don't know if it's the same at the hospital we'll be referred to I'll have to do some research but it's probably the same

BTW DH and the jerk left about ½ hour ago, I'm free

Another thing, I posted some pics of some of the earrings I've made on FB but my sister didn't "like" any of them, let alone comment DH's cousin was nice enough to "like" them though and he's a man

 

[KatO79]

AF is 2 days early and pretty much full-blown now, starting to get heavy red bleeding so game over So called the clinic to get started on IUI #4 We'll be referred for IVF now, will ask the nurse tomorrow at my scan when that'll get done since the waiting time is 4-5 months. Not only that but the clinic at the hospital we'll be most likely referred to is closed all of July so we might run into a problem there.

So on to what will be another pointless IUI with lower chances then the last 3, hooray for me

Sorry, am pretty negative today but I'll get over it by tomorrow, just need to rage a bit today

 

[patienceiav]

Ahh super crap, sorry hun I was gonna say if you've got 4+ months but 3 IUI then you could have a break from all this, but maybe save your break for the summer. It's the same thing we face, we'll be pit in queue and Sweden shuts down during summer so nothing will happen big time for some wine! Or pick n mix and chocolate if you're me