Starting IVF in Dec/Jan/Feb on NHS (UK)?

[Sambatiki]

Boofs - Im so sorry will you go for your follow up appointment? Have you thought about when you might use your frosties??

Wallie - Hope youre OK

BEAR to everyone xxx

 

[Boofle]

Thanks Samba.
I will go for the FU, I suppose I'll find out about that next Wed when I phone. I will use the frosties but I need to work on my PMA first. I don't actually know a thing about frozen transfers. My own thoughts are what chance is there when a fresh transfer hasn't worked so that's why I need to work on my PMA. But at least they're waiting for me to get my head sorted.

 

[KittyCat82]

Good luck today samba x

 

[kazzab25]

Samba thinking of you hunx

boofle, thinking of you too, its such a horrible experience!! But, its been a week today since we got our official BFN and im feeling a little better now, focusing on losing weight and as pg says just enjoying some normality for a while!

hope everyone else is doing ok x

Kitty how are youx

 

[Lindylou]

Hi Boofle- read your post on other thread and found you here as well. Just wanted to say how sorry I am and send you love. It's so unfair. Hope you get your follow up quickly and can get your next plan ready to focus on. Keep positive, I know it's hard. Xxxx

I'm still stimming and go for scan on Monday.

 

[Sambatiki]

Hi Ladies.

Its bad news here too.... all the details are in my journo if you want to have a read.... feeling actually OK about it all. I do feel a bit cheated that I got this far for nothing... but I have to concentrate on moving on forward because no matter how upset I get its not going to change a thing! Moving on... will though!

Hope everyone else is OK xxxx

 

[Wallie]

Sorry ladies I unsubscribed to this thread as I was just too upset to keep reading it. What crap we've had, it's certainly not had the best of luck this thread!

We'll AF did appear for me, the next day after I tested a BFN. I went to work as I'd had my pity party the day of the BFN, so it wasn't as bad.

After being totally lost I now feel relieved it's over. I didn't actually realise it but it's like you're holding your breath for about 8 weeks doing a cycle and when it's over it's like you can breath again! Weird but I honestly feel like a burden has been lifted even though I want a family so, so much.

Looks like my next NHS cycle will be March 2013 and OH and I are thinking of doing another private cycle inbetween (and hope it works) with another clinic. We've had three cycles with Ninewells in Dundee (1 NHS and 2 private) and we're obviously getting nowhere with them, so we're thinking of looking at the GCRM in Glasgow. They have better care and very good results for someone my age 37.

It's going to cost us massively. We now don't have money sitting just to use up, so it's going to be tight and scarey. We've already spent £8k privately and this will be another £6k. I so wish we could have children naturally, we would have had that money sitting in a bank to do exceptional things with them and I may not have had to go back to work... oh well, no point thinking like that now but I'm sure if everyone had to pay £4k for a child there're certainly wouldn't be as many in the world!

 

[Wallie]

I meant to say Boofle, don't give up hope with your frosties. Remember only the highest quality are frozen. I know at Ninewells, my clinic, they have a 30% success rate with their frosties! You just never know!

 

[Boofle]

Samba - I'm sorry hunny to read your journal. Don't know what to say what amazing support you've got though hun I don't know what happens now for you but I hope it is as quick and painless as possible. You've got a wonderful attitude and that obviously keeps you strong. Sending you some more hugs xx

Kazza - thanks for thinking of me, I'm thinking of you too and sending some hugs your way xx

LindyLou - thank you for your message. Good luck with your scan tomorrow and keep us posted. I really hope this is your time. Sending you some hugs too and praying for lots of follies xx

Wallie - I wasn't sure where you were up to. So sorry you too got bad news. I know what you mean about being able to breath again - that's exactly how I felt yesterday. Me and OH had a day at the seaside and for the first time in ages we laughed and enjoyed each others company. How come you have to wait 12 months for your next NHS cycle?

AFM - no tears for two days - so I'm on the mend. I'm actually thinking about the future again. I'll let you know what the clinic says on Wednesday. I've got a meeting with the counsellor on the 28th with my OH (he isn't pleased about this). I'm not back at work till Thursday which I am not looking forward to!

 

[Lindylou]

Thanks Boofle- got your message on other thread!
Thanks so much for your thoughts and prayers it means a lot especially with the difficult time you are having.
Love lindy xxxx

 

[Wallie]

Boofle I get three goes with the NHS but I go back to the end of the waiting list after a failed cycle. So it's about a year/year and a half wait. Last June we did an NHS cycle.

 

[hippiehappy]

Dear all,
Well I’m back from a long self imposed banishment and really wanted to check in to see how you have all been doing.
Hello Sophie and PG, so good to hear that you’re doing well in spite of everything!
*
Samba, Wallie, Boofle and Kazza, I can’t tell you how very sorry I am to hear your news.
*
Please and Traskey, I am genuinely chuffed for you.
*
Donna, thanks for checking in and sorry about your friend.
*
Kitty, I’m keeping everything crossed for you. I don’t envy you being at the point you’re at right now, lots of love and
*
Gutted especially for you Samba, I can’t believe it and I can’t even begin to think how you must be feeling. I was fully expecting some good news, and I must admit that is partly why I held off checking this thread, I honestly thought reading about everybody’s BFP’s would push me over the edge. Now I’m thinking what has actually gone on is even more depressing. Life can be so, so c*ap. Samba I think it’s admirable that you are considering egg sharing, I looked at it and must admit though it makes it massively cheaper for a privately funded cycle, it wouldn’t be the best option for us as we are looking at one third of the eggs to fertilise and even then they will probably be bad quality, so we really do need all the eggs we can get. I am most gutted about this though because I really would like to try egg sharing but it would be pointless so I might as well be giving them away without even bothering to keep any for myself. If we got 15 eggs like last time (which is being optimistic) and I gave away 7, we would probably get 1 embie at the most and the likelihood of this one developing are so slim it’s not even worth thinking about it.
*
Also mega gutted for you Wallie, one year wait for the next cycle is a definite big WTF! Glad you have made contingency plans and that you’re not letting that beat you down though.
*
Sophie, good call on changing clinics. I am happy with mine but like you I would not hesitate if I wasn’t. Also glad to hear that you’ve not give up completely yet
*
Like Wallie, Sophie and PG all say, I am now feeling quite good about things and it’s so true what Wallie says about being able to finally breathe.. and DRINK ALCOHOL!!
The DH and I have been having counselling for a long time and the last session, which was the first after the BFN, was very hard. The counsellor is very helpful and always tries her best to move things along for us. When I rang in to confirm the BFN I asked to speak to the embryologist as our cycle had gone so well up until fertilisation, it only fell down at that hurdle because of the frozen
The counsellor managed to get the embryologist down to see us during the session and what the embryologist said was an eye opener. In a way I am very grateful for her being so honest but it was a total shock at the time. Basically our chances are less than 1 in 10. Our fert is always going to be bad because of the male factor and even if we do get a good quality embie the chances of it implanting and making it into a baby are about 1 in 10. Like I said, it was a shock hearing this but now I am happy I did as I would definitely rather know and be able to start moving on than spend my life hanging on to non- existent hope and putting my life on hold for what might never happen.
I am very lucky to have a sister who has 2 amazing and gorgeous children that I will always be close to (and that I can hand back to her at the end of the day ) and a bunch of top friends who are all childless by choice and always will be. My closest mates are all the kind that will always go on crazy benders and music festivals abroad and so on, if anything having a baby would make me more lonely and isolated, so I’m sure I’ll be ok even if it never happens for us.
I haven’t completely given up yet of course, though I am starting to move on mentally. We still get another go on the NHS and I will ring up at the end of April to try and get on the cycle for that month. If (or should I say when) that fails, we definitely have enough money for one private cycle and if needs be and we want to we will use the equity on the house for further treatments.
After all, without a family I really don’t need the security of owning my own place and to be honest I don’t think I would want to be tied down by a mortgage either. I would rather use the equity on the house to fund a cycle or 2, then if we decide we’ve had enough and give up, I would like to try spending some time somewhere cool like Los Angeles, where I have some friends. After that who knows? I can always go and live somewhere else. I was born in Norway, grew up in Italy, then lived in London for a bit before settling in Manchester but I don’t feel like I need to live here for the rest of my life. Thankfully the OH is as much of a hippie as I am and he desperately wants to go and live somewhere completely bonkers, with him being a filmmaker LA sounds like a plan
So yeah, we’ll see and what will be will be.
Sorry for the essay, just thought I’d check in and let you know that I am alive and well. Spring is around the corner, life is good. We must all remember that even through the clouds.
*
Lots of love and big

P.S. Sorry if I have forgotten anybody, thinking of you all

 

[Lindylou]

Hi Boofle and all the girls.

Been for scan 10 days after stimming. Lots of follicles. About 15 on each ovary mostly 16,17,18 and couple 19 but others around 14. Concerned I'm at risk of OHSS and said depending on bloods etc might freeze instead of transfer. Lining is 8.5 mm.
Can anybody give any guidance? I'm drinking gallons of water!! So worried about going to sleep and now worried they might not transfer. Aaaaaggghh!!! Xxxx

 

[Wallie]

It does sound alot of follies you have there but drink isotonic drinks like gatorade, they should help you out rather than just water.

HH, thanks for your post, it's good the way you're thinking, I hope to be in that mindframe myself soon and I'll probably need to too!

I feel the same about the equity in the house. Why would we want to keep paying a huge mortgage, why not sell up and go somewhere else? Enjoy life to the full.

 

[PGLady]

Just thought I'd check in again and see how things are.

I'm glad to read such exciting plans for the future Hippie, and that I'm not the only one wondering what the point of security is without children. Lots of luck!

Wallie, just wanted to say that I couldn't recommend Edinburgh ACU highly enough, if you are considering somewhere else. Our embryologist was fab, and the consultant is excellent even if his bedside manner leaves a lot to be desired! He also runs the Spire IVF clinic here.

Our follow up apt is on Fri and I have a fair idea what he'll say, odds aren't great but we'll keep going while we get good embies. Planning to ask for a second opinion about my hydros, hope he listens.. We will get the frostie out in May, so I also need to ask if it's going to be a medicated FET or not. Onwards and upwards, and to all xx

 

[Sambatiki]

Hi Everyone :wave:

Its really lovely to see that everyone has got their plan in place Looking forward to seeing how everyone gets on next. Are we all going to stay here? I think Im a bit afraid to go anywhere else.

AFM... ended up in A&E and then on the Gynae ward today. Ive passed the sac so I can start to move on. Ive got an appointment on 20th April to discuss next steps.

Lindy - Good Luck!

 

[Lindylou]

Samba- big thank you. I hope you are ok. You have been through so much, it is not fair. Sending you hugs. Xxxx

 

[Boofle]

Glad I can finally post - the site has been down loads the last couple of days!!
Lindy - wanted to say good luck today and if they decide to postpone your transfer don't be too disheartened even though I know you'll be gutted. But it will give you a chance to get your body ready for all those lovely embies you're gonna get thinking of you hun
Thinking of everyone else too - I have to ring the clinic today and I'll find out whats next for us.

 

[Lindylou]

Thanks. Just in my gown waiting to go through. Soooo nervous. Even nurse commented on my blood pressure. Xxx

 

[Sambatiki]

Lindy - Good Luck!!! Looking forward to seeing how many you have xx

Boofs - Look forward to hearing about it.