Still looking for our May Flowers...

[ERosePW]

floridasian, sorry for the BFN, but yes its still way early!

beaglemom, I totally know the feeling. Although I felt a LOT better after I O'd. Seemed like all my side effects went away after that! So let's hope that your piss mood is for other reasons.

AFM, of course I had a BFN this morning. And the pink creamy pink stuff I had yesterday is just pure red today. My temp is way up, but I'm betting that tomorrow it will crash and burn, LOL. I just started feeling crampy a little bit ago, so AF is just about here. The spotting was sure different from my other cycles... in most cycles, my pre-AF spotting is just brown (totally gross).

So, the IVF seminar was interesting. DH seemed blown away. After we left, he acted so amazed that something like that could even be done. There are different routes you can take with IVF, so there are decisions we need to make. You can choose whether you want them to just put the egg and sperm in a dish together and have the sperm penetrate the egg on its own, or they can actually use a needle to go ahead and fertilize the egg. Apparently some women's eggs have thick outer layers, which can prevent the sperm from penetrating the egg on its own (and you don't even know that you had that issue until they measure it under a microscope!). Also, once the embryos are formed, the embryo's outer layer could be thick and make it difficult to implant. In those instances, they can take some of that thick outer layer off the embryo when they transfer it into your uterus, so that is has a better chance of implanting. Crazy, crazy stuff. Moni probably knew most of this already since she started doing all the research earlier, and some of it was familiar to me, but other parts were new!

 

[beaglemom]

I am feeling a bit better...I still feel almost to the point of tears every moment. I had a one on one meeting with my new manager. She is so great. She is a lot like me...straight forward, honest, & to the point. She is very supportive of my infertility process. She even told me about some sort of disability where I can use it during my pregnancy or before if I will be out a lot. Typically with FMLA, I have to tak 5 days of PTO & then the FMLA kicks in. She said this was similar...but it sounded like accumulative time for one situation...so I guess once I had taken 5 days, I could start using this for any other days...she said maybe when I am pregnant the morning sickness could be too bad, this time would help.

I think my banker is just really stressing me out. We have so much going on with the other banker not being replaced yet. So everything falls on him...& he has been in & out all week for whatever reason...all work related...then he says he is taking PTO tomorrow. He deserves it, but it's one more day I feel like is wasted because I can't get anything done without him. He has to do things in order to help me move things forward. It is a stressful mess added on to the other stresses. Plus my last night with my husband was taken away from em because he was at the hospital with his dad all night. It was a pretty serious UTI. I don't want to sound selfish, but I was just upset by the whole thing. Mainly because my father in law won't say ANYTHING to us about stuff like that & I think we could have prevented an ER visit if he told us he was in pain before it got to that extreme point. I love my father in law & glad he is okay, but it is so hard being the only family taking ownership for him. Then that stresses me wondering how things will be when we have a baby.

Ugh...now I feel like crying again...UGH!!!

 

[beaglemom]

Erin I have looked in to some of the IVF stuff & it is amazing! I would def do the injecting the egg. They basically take the strongest swimmers & eggs & match them up.

I hope you don't need it, but either way, you have some good things coming.

 

[savvysaver]

Sorry girls about the bfns...there is still time for bfps this month since it is so early. Fx'd.

Beaglemom, I am sorry your FIL was in the ER, he is lucky to have you and your hubby taking good care of him. Hopefully you will be able to spend some extra time with your hubby this weekend.

Erin, how exciting about the IVF class, glad you were able to take it this month. How interesting all the different options there are...do the more involved procedures cost more? Our friends did the egg and sperm in a dish and it was combined and I think it was like $25K.


I am kind of thinking maybe I won't O this cycle...I am on CD18 without a hint of a positive opk, my temps are still lower. I had some AF cramping over the last few days but it wasn't constant. Just wondering if the stress (over Grandfathers passing) could really delay my cycle? If I don't O this cycle it is okay with me, I just really hope AF holds out until my RE appointment! Now I did O twice on CD20 but it seems like I would have to get a + opk soon.

 

[beaglemom]

Sorry girls about the bfns...there is still time for bfps this month since it is so early. Fx'd.

Beaglemom, I am sorry your FIL was in the ER, he is lucky to have you and your hubby taking good care of him. Hopefully you will be able to spend some extra time with your hubby this weekend.

Erin, how exciting about the IVF class, glad you were able to take it this month. How interesting all the different options there are...do the more involved procedures cost more? Our friends did the egg and sperm in a dish and it was combined and I think it was like $25K.


I am kind of thinking maybe I won't O this cycle...I am on CD18 without a hint of a positive opk, my temps are still lower. I had some AF cramping over the last few days but it wasn't constant. Just wondering if the stress (over Grandfathers passing) could really delay my cycle? If I don't O this cycle it is okay with me, I just really hope AF holds out until my RE appointment! Now I did O twice on CD20 but it seems like I would have to get a + opk soon.

Maybe your cycle is working with you & your RE appt will be perfect timing !

 

[ERosePW]

Beaglemom, sorry you have to deal with that with your FIL... It's a shame when family members won't tell you about issues they're having until its so bad they end up in the hospital. Poor guy too... He must've been in some serious pain holding out like that. I'm glad he's doing better and will be ok. I know what you mean about wondering what it'll be like when you have a baby... My DH's parents are getting divorced, and my DH has literally had to help my FIL do the simplest things like getting a bank acct, finding a new place to live, fixing his truck twice.... All things that his mom just took care of when they were still together. He's also helped him out some financially, and while I love my DH for helping his dad like this, I wonder why a man his age isn't more self-sufficient and would keep burdening his son w/ something new every week. It made me think, when does this end? Because when we have a baby (and to be honest, even NOW when we're going thru assisted reproduction and considering IVF!), at some point, my DH is gonna need to put this energy and money into the family that WE are starting. I know I sound a bit selfish, but other stuff like this has been going on since I met him 7 yrs ago, and at some point, they need to let their son focus on his own life and new family.

 

[ERosePW]

Sorry girls about the bfns...there is still time for bfps this month since it is so early. Fx'd.

Beaglemom, I am sorry your FIL was in the ER, he is lucky to have you and your hubby taking good care of him. Hopefully you will be able to spend some extra time with your hubby this weekend.

Erin, how exciting about the IVF class, glad you were able to take it this month. How interesting all the different options there are...do the more involved procedures cost more? Our friends did the egg and sperm in a dish and it was combined and I think it was like $25K.


I am kind of thinking maybe I won't O this cycle...I am on CD18 without a hint of a positive opk, my temps are still lower. I had some AF cramping over the last few days but it wasn't constant. Just wondering if the stress (over Grandfathers passing) could really delay my cycle? If I don't O this cycle it is okay with me, I just really hope AF holds out until my RE appointment! Now I did O twice on CD20 but it seems like I would have to get a + opk soon.

Maybe you'll get your pos opk tomorrow. You might just O on cd20 again, and have the surprise opk tomorrow morning. If not, Fxd that everything just ends up lining right up w/ your RE appt!!

 

[savvysaver]

Thanks girls, I am glad I hopefully didn't O yet but I was hoping I would O this weekend. It would be great if I was at the beginning of my cycle with the RE, I figured that would give us more wiggle room if she wanted to start me on meds, ultrasounds, labs, etc.

Obviously you do not need to answer as some people prefer to keep info private on these boards...but are either of your hubby's only children? It sounds like they are both great guys who are family oriented, which I think is great. It is hard to break that bond with their parents and I sometimes think only children have it harder since there is no one to "help out". I am an old child. Luckily my parents and in laws are fine for now on their own, but I know my hubby and I would be responsible for them if they needed assistance.

Erin, my father would be the same way. He is a smart man and knows a lot about cars and other man things but send him to a grocery store and he would be lost. My mother has done everything for him over the years, paying the bills, laundry, shopping, cooking, etc. I learned a lesson early in life and I make my hubby help me out with errands, laundry, shopping. If I was stuck on bed rest or sick, I know my hubby could step up and get things done around the house.

Erin and Beaglemom, one good thing is that family is important to your husband and he will be a great dad!

 

[beaglemom]

Beaglemom, sorry you have to deal with that with your FIL... It's a shame when family members won't tell you about issues they're having until its so bad they end up in the hospital. Poor guy too... He must've been in some serious pain holding out like that. I'm glad he's doing better and will be ok. I know what you mean about wondering what it'll be like when you have a baby... My DH's parents are getting divorced, and my DH has literally had to help my FIL do the simplest things like getting a bank acct, finding a new place to live, fixing his truck twice.... All things that his mom just took care of when they were still together. He's also helped him out some financially, and while I love my DH for helping his dad like this, I wonder why a man his age isn't more self-sufficient and would keep burdening his son w/ something new every week. It made me think, when does this end? Because when we have a baby (and to be honest, even NOW when we're going thru assisted reproduction and considering IVF!), at some point, my DH is gonna need to put this energy and money into the family that WE are starting. I know I sound a bit selfish, but other stuff like this has been going on since I met him 7 yrs ago, and at some point, they need to let their son focus on his own life and new family.

This is exactly how I am feeling. I understand he needs his son. But he also pays A LOT of money for people to take care of him. He actually asked my husband to get his coffee cup from under his bed...it was there for days & he refused to ask a nurse (he is partially paralyzed from a stroke).I finally told my husband he needed to stop running to the store every day he was off. If he didn't get it on the first visit it could wait until the next week. This sounds harsh, but he could spend 2-3 hours running around on every day off. There is nothing he needs at the store he can't live without for a week. Basically he has had to stop babying his dad. He may be in a wheel chair, but he is not helpless. So my husband spends his days off doing things for him or on his photography outings. Meanwhile, I have so many unfinished projects at home. I told him when I get a positive, he has got to start staying home & working on the house. I cannot bring a baby in to a house like this. It is small stuff but a long list. And I am fine not spending every second with my husband...but I will not let my child live that way...coming in second or third. And we already know my days off I will have the baby...& he has mentioned daycare so he can go on outings...& it angers me. It is like his life doesn't change except how he wants it to. We have worked through most of that. But it is just hard. I told my manager today...I have no known issues but I am the one who has been on some form of medication since CD 3. Sometimes I am just overwhelmed.

I think it is hard for him. I am usually really strong...but this whole ttc makes me just want to be protected, you know. I will be bringing a child in to the world...& I need to know I will come first when I am pregnant...then the baby comes first.

I sometimes wonder if my husband could survive without me. But he could do most things. It has to be hard for your FIL to be going through that after what I can assume was a long marriage. But at some point, you cut the strings you know? He should be slowly getting on his feet.

 

[beaglemom]

Thanks girls, I am glad I hopefully didn't O yet but I was hoping I would O this weekend. It would be great if I was at the beginning of my cycle with the RE, I figured that would give us more wiggle room if she wanted to start me on meds, ultrasounds, labs, etc.

Obviously you do not need to answer as some people prefer to keep info private on these boards...but are either of your hubby's only children? It sounds like they are both great guys who are family oriented, which I think is great. It is hard to break that bond with their parents and I sometimes think only children have it harder since there is no one to "help out". I am an old child. Luckily my parents and in laws are fine for now on their own, but I know my hubby and I would be responsible for them if they needed assistance.

Erin, my father would be the same way. He is a smart man and knows a lot about cars and other man things but send him to a grocery store and he would be lost. My mother has done everything for him over the years, paying the bills, laundry, shopping, cooking, etc. I learned a lesson early in life and I make my hubby help me out with errands, laundry, shopping. If I was stuck on bed rest or sick, I know my hubby could step up and get things done around the house.

Erin and Beaglemom, one good thing is that family is important to your husband and he will be a great dad!

I know my husband will be a great dad. He is not an only child. He is one of 6...but there were 3 dads. So I consider him the oldest child because his siblings were older when his mom met his dad & he was the first of their kids with one younger sister.

I make my husband do a lot when he is off...mainly because he is off weekdays & it is easier to get things done. But he still calls me over & over...he takes pictures of things in stores & sends them to me to make sure it is right. He is too funny.

 

[floridasian]

Savvy - I'm sure you're just o'ing late. I go through that agony every cycle when I'm not o'ing early, wondering if it's an annovulatory cycle. It's almost like I don't want to o early because I know the egg quality isn't good, but then when I don't o at my normal CD13 I start to wonder if I am going to have an annovulatory cycle.

Hopefully you'll have perfect timing for your RE's appointment!!

 

[savvysaver]

Beaglemom, hopefully once you are pregnant and especially after the baby is born your FIL will back off a bit to free up some of your hubby's time. I am sure being paralyzed isn't easy for him and he is probably used to your hubby helping him out constantly. Would you be able to encourage your husband to talk with his father about cutting back the daily errands?

I know my hubby doesn't understand why I am so upset by this ttc stuff all the time, he isn't checking his temp, peeing on sticks, researching and making appointments. I am not complaining but I just feel like this is about me, my oven, my eggs, etc. I feel like I let him down every month when AF shows.

At least you can count on your hubby to run errands and help you out. When I was first married I could never remember what milk my hubby drank (none for me - I am lactose intolerant) so I would call him every time I went grocery shopping, this was way before smartphones or even camera phones...yep we have been married forever!

 

[floridasian]

I'm lucky that both my family (and most of my extended family) and DH's family are good people and upright citizens - no day time TV drama here. Even though we are both in our mid 30's we are both still treated as kids by our parents. Both our parents are doing a lot better than us, both still married too. We were both raised with good family values and financial responsibilities.

We are really blessed to have good family and I have no doubt that DH will be a great dad!

 

[ERosePW]

Savvy, thanks! Yes, I know my DH will be a good father, he is definitely family oriented. When I get upset about these things, I'm mostly upset with his parents, not him. It isn't just the bank account and things like that which his dad couldn't do on his own... its also the manly stuff. When his parents were still together, his mom would need things done around their house, and she would call my DH to come over and do them instead of having her own husband do them. It would be our Saturday to spend together, and even though his dad was sitting at home doing nothing, my DH would still go over there to do these things. His parents are young...mid 50s. And they have no health issues. So this has never made any sense to me. And my FIL was actually doing some things that a married man shouldn't have been doing, which is what caused this recent divorce, so I have no pity for him. My DH isn't an only child either. His mom had him quite young, so he also has a 21-yr old sister and a 17-yr old brother. My own parents are more like floridasian's... no drama. They act more like the adults and would be more likely to do stuff for us, than asking us to constantly do things for them. So its always been difficult for me to get my head around the way my in-laws are. I've told DH before that eventually we will have children and our own family to think about, and his parents are going to have to stop relying on him for so much.

 

[misaacs117]

Girls don't even get me started on family drama! My family has A LOT. Not to go into a lot of detail but just to give you an idea. My cousin was on the maury povich show with her baby daddy of 4 this past year! LOL Totally embarrassing!! I try and stay out of it as best I can but that doesn't always happen. So I feel you ladies on the family drama. And sometimes I think to myself "If this was not my family I would NOT be doing this!"

Beaglemom I am sorry to hear about your FIL. UTIs suck and are so painful. I bet he was hurting pretty bad. I do understand what you mean about speaking up earlier so all of this could have been avoided. Maybe it is just a man thing??
Your DHs sound like they have the right mindset to be a daddy too

 

[beaglemom]

My fil is def getting better about the errands. And he has been like this for about 5 yrs. You wouldn't believe how independent he can be when he wants to. He has made a lot of progress and we are proud. So mostly it is a much better situation than it has been. Don't get me wrong, I sympathize his pain. But like I said before he sees my husband a couple times a week and they talk on the phone a lot...plus all the nurses and aids. He should have spoke up. He also likes to tell other family members stuff like this and never tells the whole story so we look neglectful.

 

[beaglemom]

Another neg test and another 2 am wake up. Ugh. Question...if I go to bed around 10 and wake up at 2, is that fmu? Or should I wait until I get out of bed at 7?

 

[Bluebearmummy]

Hi can I join please is due 23rd next Friday and I'm currently 8dpo feeling a but crampy!

We have had lots of fertility tests all came back okay and we are currently on our 2nd cycle of clomid and this will be month 21 of trying for us! So really trying to be hopeful but finding it difficult if I'm honest!

and to all x x x

 

[floridasian]

Another neg here too, but I had a huge temp spike. Being on Progesterone I'm sure it doesn't mean much.

Beaglemom - I'd consider any urine after a six hour hold with no liquid intake a FMU.

 

[Wantaminime]

Hi Bluebearmummy, I joined these ladies a few weeks ago and am learning a lot! It's so nice to have helpful advice and others to relate to during this stress. Welcome!