*STM* Single Teen Mummy

[rubixcyoob.]

That's shocking they can't do anything

 

[QuintinsMommy]

*hugs*

urgh i am LIVID
got a letter from the csa stating that his dad has to pay nil so i rang them up and they explained its cause they cant find out where he works well what to they get paid to so sit on there a**e all day. I do not think so. Urghhh it makes me so mad when us mams have to pay for eveything and the dads dont have to pay a penny towards there child!
I was actually shaking reading the letter

i have the same problem, they can't take FOB to court because they "cant" find him!? my FOB is in and out of jail ALL the time, It should be very easy to find him,
my mom says they aren't pushing to find him because he doesn't work

 

[xSophieBx]

*hugs*

urgh i am LIVID
got a letter from the csa stating that his dad has to pay nil so i rang them up and they explained its cause they cant find out where he works well what to they get paid to so sit on there a**e all day. I do not think so. Urghhh it makes me so mad when us mams have to pay for eveything and the dads dont have to pay a penny towards there child!
I was actually shaking reading the letter

Umm I would fight that.. they can track them down if u have something for them 2 work on.. cos twice i rung up and they said they werent a tracing agency & then i got a really nice man and he said if I knew anything about him they can find him that way.. & fob has been all cocky sayin he wants to do it all official and csa is the best way all cos i asked for £50 a week and he reckons i'd get hardly nething from csa.. well my claims going thru now and they have his earnings & im gonna b getting £71 a week lol cant wait til he finds out his gonna b gutted. All cos he keeps saying they dont count overtime when they do hahaha. I know wot u mean thou im so angry.. fob likes 2 make every lil thing difficult. hope u get ur money xx

 

[~RedLily~]

Ella seems to have such a problem with FOB. He was over today and asked to hold her and she screamed, I have NEVER seen her so upset I got her back and tried to calm her down and she wouldn't stop sobbing and gasping I had to feed her in the end. She's been upset before but nothing even near that much. I felt bad for FOB for a while but he soon pissed me off

 

[rubixcyoob.]

LOL kirsty!

Eugh, I am so confused.com
Today I went and met FOB in town and we talked after everything I posted about. It turns out he didn't kiss the girl all night - once or twice - nowhere near as bad as she made out, nor did he initiate it, at first he asked her to stop cuddling in to him etc. (even someone who was there who had no clue I knew about him cheating already told me this was the case).
We ended up just acting coupley, kissing and talking. We talked a lot.
We've both realised we do still love each other, but we are in no rush to try mend anything. Our relationship was built on lies and became a complete facade. So we have decided right now, we are going to stay single; stay talking as friends (for LOs sake as well as us trying to maybe work things out); build up trust and honesty in each other; discover if we can put the past behind us/water under the bridge type thing; see if we would be happy together again etc. Neither of us are even remotely interested in doing anything with anyone else - even kiss - so we aren't worried about that.

I feel like we are doing the right thing. I do still love him (as daft as that may sound) but I know I cannot rush into anything. Everything needs to be taken baby step by baby step. We are just staying friends just now and doing family stuff with LO, because he deserves that. Who knows how long it will take for us to decide what me and FOB want to happen, or if we will decide, we just know we need time to think.

I know, in my head, this is the right way to go about everything - no promises of things that may go unfufilled etc. Yet my heart is saying "amy, listen, you know you want him, you wanted to kiss him today and you did, just go for it" and for the love of me I cannot turn my heart onto mute! Darn bloody thing :grrr:

On the plus, he did seem exceptionally sorry and I'm sure I seen tears form in his eyes when he told me he was sorry, how much he didn't want to loose me, etc. yet he agrees with what we need to do also.

Sorry it doesn't make sense, I'm just all over the place atm. Me and him know what needs to be done and know we will do that, but after acting coupley today and kissing etc, it's kind of made it harder already.

 

[xSophieBx]

Ella seems to have such a problem with FOB. He was over today and asked to hold her and she screamed, I have NEVER seen her so upset I got her back and tried to calm her down and she wouldn't stop sobbing and gasping I had to feed her in the end. She's been upset before but nothing even near that much. I felt bad for FOB for a while but he soon pissed me off

LOL thats hilarious.. I wish Lily would do that! Althou I dont think she'll be seeing him for awhile as Ive told him to take me to court and arrange it for contact centres xx

 

[QuintinsMommy]

deleted

 

[Neferet]

Hey all. DNA test on Tuesday morning. FOBs dad said he wants to supervise me doing it, so my grandmother said if he gets to supervise me, she gets to supervise FOB. It's fucking ridiculous. And FOB said he's not gonna come to Ike's first birthday party. Gosh, I'm so effing pissed off with him right now!

 

[annawrigley]

argh i HATE him SOOOOOOO much

I hope your okay babe, you know where i am if you need a rant
xxxx

thanks hun. you've set me off now.
i just hate how its all so fucking unfair and unequal!! they can create the child but its us that carry them, lose friends, lose our lives, give birth, oh yeah and then care for them 24/7 while they are free to just swan off and fucking go live the party life whilst not giving me a fucking PENNY FOR HIS SON!!!!!!
he had promised to give me money once he went to uni. of course he hasnt, he hasnt got a job, hes spent all if his loan on drink and new clothes he can fuck off hes only seen noah twice since he went 2 months ago and he doesnt even seem to care he hasnt asked about him in ages.
csa cant get anything off him until he has finished uni, in 4 years!! fucking fantastic!
what pisses me off more than anything is when i tell him how fucking useless he is, he says 'most teenage dads would have just fucked off as soon as their girlfriend got pregnant, at least im involved in his life"

yeah good one
instead you just fucked me around, cheated on me, beat me up and then dumped me when 5 months pregnant, got a new girlfriend the same night, decided to ignore me and take drugs every day for months then waltz back into my life bringing back feelings i do not want to bring back!!! messing with my head...
he has never got up with noah in the night, never looked after him for more than 10 mins while i go to the shop, at which point he is ringing me up saying 'get back now hes crying' he has not spent a penny on him, not bought him anything in 8 months. yet he thinks hes such a fantastic dad just because he plays with him occasionally? he has NOOOOOOO idea how hard it is to bring up a child, on your own. thats another thing that annoys me! i have nothing against people with partners (except a bit of bitterness) but it does annoy me when you know they have that help there whenever they need it and they share the work and then still complain. i know my life would be soooo different if i had someone there to help out even just for an hour or something. or just another pair of hands. its very different doing it all on your own

ok im done. xxx

 

[leoniebabey]

^ 100% agree with everything you said.
It discusts me how my LO's dad can flock about getting drunk ect with mates, meet new girls, do what he wants while im at home all on my own looking after him, i dont EVER get a break because nobody offers to have him, when they do i have to stay too. :S so not a break cos i do eveything. He doesnt call to ask how he is, ask if we need anything.
He says he WANTS to be a dad, well if that was the case he would be fighting for his right to see him, he would have actually bought him something, spent time with him.

so unfair how girls go throught 9 months of pregnancy, labour, and have to look afer them the rest of our lives. Not that i think i shouldnt just a bit of help now and again would be nice or for him to at least acknowledge that he has a child that needs money and love and a dad.

my rant over too

 

[annawrigley]

exactly i sounded in my post like i begrudge having to look after him, i dont, because as well as all the sleepless nights i get all the lovely moments that FOB is missing out on. i pity him for that. he has missed so much already but its all his fault.
but just cos we get all the lovely moments doesnt mean its not bloody hard at times as well!! also it would never occur to me to do anything other than looking after him all the time, because he is my child. he is my responsibility. it just goes without saying. so why isnt it the same for the father?? why do they even get the CHOICE of f'ing off? xx

 

[leoniebabey]

I know, his dad has missed out on soo much too and he can only blame himself, i have tried several times to which i received a load of abuse!
Yeah although we do the hardest job we get all the rewards for it. I know it seems so unfair that they can pick and choose when they want to see the life that THEY created. But its so easy for them to make the baby, they go through nothing then walk away without a care in the world. How i do not know if i was ever serparted from him i'd just diee, i couldnt handle being away from him for more than a day ! xx

 

[annawrigley]

i know!! thats what gets me, i couldnt bear NOT having him all the time
another thing im dreading is after gareth finishes uni, noah will about 4 and he has talked about 'having him' then, saying 'oh itll be easy cos he'll be older then, i can just put him on the naughty step and he'll understand the word no'
felt like telling him well you're gonna have to understand the word no if you think you can come back after 4 years and decide that you'll look after your kid then because hes more manageable?!!? dont think so!
i just said well theres no point discussing it now its a long way in the future. but it made me soo angry! like he just wants to pick and choose when to be a dad! grrrrrrr!
(btw just noticed morgan was born on my mums bday )
(also gareth is at uni in newcastle so if you see some nob strolling around THATS HIM!)

 

[xSophieBx]

Ah I so understand how both u girls feel.. I cant even be bothered to type my rant bout my fob cos ive wasted too much time on him neway! I guess im lucky ive got my mums help thou so I am able to go out and do stuff in the evenings when lilys in bed... + I will be getting money through csa eventually it just takes ages.. & its so unfair cos I wish i'd applied for it the day she was born if I knew he was gonna be such a dickhead & not pay off his own accord.. AHHHH I hate men... dont think i'll ever trust one again. Ive got such bad anxiety atm of him ever having lily on his own cos I just dont trust him xxx

 

[Croc-O-Dile]

So.....I'm kinda sorta talking to someone. And I got a guy's number. Go, Ally! Go, Ally!

The guy I'm kinda sorta talking to has a 15 month old daughter and he's super sweet. I don't know where things are going to go, but I made a very good friend at the very least.

And the guy who's number I got tonight is a year younger than me (WAYYY out of my element!) and I met him at my sister's step-sister's party. He knows I have a daughter and we chatted about that for a bit. His sister was 15 when she got pregnant and had a baby, so he's really cool about it. Then he gave me his number and told me to text him. I'm still trying to fix my phone, but when I finally do, I'm going to text him.

 

[annawrigley]

yay ally!

i feel the same sophie. awful thing is it is going to have to happen when he gets older im just trying not to think of it xx

 

[xSophieBx]

Yay well done ally Ive been seeing a guy for a month or two but ive started talking to a diff guy now too.. hehehe & I thought noone would ever b interested in me again after having a baby!

I know anna Im trying my hardest not to think bout it but I just cant help worrying.. I hate it everytime he txts or rings me.. he makes me anxiety really bad grrrrrrrrrrrr xxx

 

[QuintinsMommy]

FoB was on FB today he liked a comment i left about quintin being born and such, its the only contact he has made in 7 months. I hate him.

 

[annawrigley]

Yay well done ally Ive been seeing a guy for a month or two but ive started talking to a diff guy now too.. hehehe & I thought noone would ever b interested in me again after having a baby!

I know anna Im trying my hardest not to think bout it but I just cant help worrying.. I hate it everytime he txts or rings me.. he makes me anxiety really bad grrrrrrrrrrrr xxx

i hate it too,he used to ring me/see me every day when he was here, now its once every week or so. i get angry because he doesnt bother to contact me to ask how noah is (or how i am??? i have been his best friend the past 9 months despite him being a cock and he doesnt seem to care everything ive done for him - got him off drugs, paid off his dealer, let him have a good relationship with his kid and tried to get along with him for noahs sake when i could have just said no fuck off, etc etc etc). but when he does contact me i dont like it lol. i just think whats the point, either you want to see your kid or you dont. i would rather he either just went off and stayed away for good, or came back and actually helped me, supported noah etc. He cant have it both ways

FoB was on FB today he liked a comment i left about quintin being born and such, its the only contact he has made in 7 months. I hate him.

have CSA (dont know what canada equivalent is!) found him yet? any clues on his FB?xxx

 

[JoJo16]

iv heard nothing from FOB since march! yes MARCH :O im happy though. im just dreading him coming crawling back at xmas or alices birthday.

i no this sounds wierd but part of me thinks omg hes gna get back in contact and the oher half thinks omg how could he not! how could he just miss her birthday!! last thing i heard from him was though a solicitor saying he had cancelled everything and didnt want to go to court. he basically gave up before anything started. hes lost his chance forever.

hope your all ok