strip clubs and porn

[ShanandBoc]

I hate the ' its a man thing' 'its normal' lines. They irk me so much.

I dont believe its normal and i think its toxic to a relationship. Why on earth would i want my DH getting off from looking at other women? Just fuels wrong desires imo, rather than suppress them or 'get it out of their system'. We have a strict no porn policy in our home as we view it as immoral and a danger to our marriage.

Society has done a fine job of cheapening sex and women. No wonder affairs are so rampant. I believe the porn industry has alot to answer for.

This is of course just my opinion

 

[BigZai]

I hate the ' its a man thing' 'its normal' lines. They irk me so much.

I dont believe its normal and i think its toxic to a relationship. Why on earth would i want my DH getting off from looking at other women? Just fuels wrong desires imo, rather than suppress them or 'get it out of their system'. We have a strict no porn policy in our home as we view it as immoral and a danger to our marriage.

Society has done a fine job of cheapening sex and women. No wonder affairs are so rampant. I believe the porn industry has alot to answer for.

This is of course just my opinion

There was going to be a study done on the what porn does to men. They could not find a man who did not watch porn.
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/ar...single-man-hadnt-viewed-x-rated-material.html

Also humans are Not naturally monogamous
And porn has nothing to do with affairs
And women are not being cheapened in porn infact they have recently became more impowered in the porn industry
Ugh it took me a half hour to write this because i was trying really hard not to accuse you husband of watching porn and i didnt want to come off harsh. The bottom line is that their is no evidence to support what you said but you did sai its an opinion so you have a right to have those opinions

 

[ShanandBoc]

The daily mail? Such accurate reading material. lol

I know plenty of men that dont watch porn!! I guess it all depends on the moral standards of people you know right...but unless u know every man on the planet i suggest your opinion is incorrect

and were u really accusing my DH of watching it? You dont know him do you? lol... Cause i assure u he doesnt. We cant even access it on our computers (to protect our children and remove the temptation) and we are completely against it on many many levels

You have every right to hold the opinions you have but i dont agree with you at all. If humans are not naturally monogamous, im guessing you would have no problem with men having affairs then? Why does it upset us so much, tear families apart, if it was so natural? I know plenty of people that have been happily married for 20, 30, 40 , 50 years. Guess they are really un natural then!!

I absolutely think the porn industry has to do with affairs. It puts desires, wants and thoughts into your mind. 40% of nerve endings to the brain come from the eyes, so what you watch affects how you think and feel.

There is plenty of evidence to support porn being harmful...to children, teens and to adults. Research it!

 

[ShanandBoc]

And women are not being cheapened in porn infact they have recently became more impowered in the porn industry

Oh and i missed this bit.

I really feel sorry for you if this is honestly what you think.

Each to their own!

 

[My_First]

Shan I totally appreciate your point if view, as it's up to the couple individual what they do/don't get up to in their marriage. However whilst the dm is not a great reference source you can see the full attempt at the study as it is true they were unable to find any men ( in their 20s I hasten to add) who had not watched porn. It was at the Uni of Montreal. In addition I could probably find you just as many, and likely more studies that suggest that porn is just fine and normal ( except addiction of, of course) .

 

[BigZai]

The daily mail? Such accurate reading material. lol

I know plenty of men that dont watch porn!! I guess it all depends on the moral standards of people you know right...but unless u know every man on the planet i suggest your opinion is incorrect

and were u really accusing my DH of watching it? You dont know him do you? lol... Cause i assure u he doesnt. We cant even access it on our computers (to protect our children and remove the temptation) and we are completely against it on many many levels

You have every right to hold the opinions you have but i dont agree with you at all. If humans are not naturally monogamous, im guessing you would have no problem with men having affairs then? Why does it upset us so much, tear families apart, if it was so natural? I know plenty of people that have been happily married for 20, 30, 40 , 50 years. Guess they are really un natural then!!

I absolutely think the porn industry has to do with affairs. It puts desires, wants and thoughts into your mind. 40% of nerve endings to the brain come from the eyes, so what you watch affects how you think and feel.

There is plenty of evidence to support porn being harmful...to children, teens and to adults. Research it!

1. If you dont like the dailymail website heres 3 more.

https://www.eurekalert.org/pub_releases/2009-12/uom-ate120109.php
https://www.reflectingjesus.org/all-men-watch-porn-scientists-find/
https://www.alternet.org/story/1445...:_what_men_should_unlearn_from_hardcore_porn/

2. I said I was trying not to accuse him of watching porn thats why I tried hard to not word it in a way that did
3. Affairs are men and women lie to their other half instead of being an adult and talking to their OH. I do not condone lying and cheating but I have nothing against a couple deciding on having an open marriage
4. Its called a libido thats what puts the idea of sex in your head

Whatever you can be against porn and so can your family my point is science does not back you up

And I am going to stay out of this disscusion now because I can not change anyones view and I dont want to cause a fight

 

[My_First]

And women are not being cheapened in porn infact they have recently became more impowered in the porn industry

Oh and i missed this bit.

I really feel sorry for you if this is honestly what you think.

Each to their own!

Please don't feel sorry for people who think this, who ultimately has the control and sets the boundaries with stripping or porn? Yes of course there are some who are driven to the job out of desperation, but taking the fact they are taking their clothes off many people are driven to jobs out of desperation

 

[TennisGal]

That study discusses men who have watched porn...so, that could easily be men who watched in the past....when single, when in different relationships. Why work on the assumption that all men need to watch porn? Or are such basic creatures that the merest hint of boobs has them slathering at the mouth?

I find some of the comments about men a bit offensive!

I know my husband, I know our take on things...which I won't go into, as that's our beeswax...but suffice to say, my husband finds he needs more than images to be attracted.

I don't think it's fair to assume you know every man based on mass generalisations. I am sure pretty much every man has looked at porn at some point, but I don't think they look at it throughout their life! Tbh, I am sure many find it boring and predictable.

 

[ShanandBoc]

In addition I could probably find you just as many, and likely more studies that suggest that porn is just fine and normal ( except addiction of, of course) .

Of course there is. Its a multi multi billions of dollars industry!!

 

[My_First]

I don't think anyone should try and change anyone's views. Gosh if we all believed the same, agreed on everything, it would make life incredibly boring instead of the rich diverse world we have now

 

[My_First]

In addition I could probably find you just as many, and likely more studies that suggest that porn is just fine and normal ( except addiction of, of course) .

Of course there is. Its a multi multi billions of dollars industry!!

It doesn't mean they are incorrect though?

 

[ShanandBoc]

Agreed. Im not trying to change anyones views....But really how many people find open marriages normal and acceptable if its so un natural to be with one sexual partner? I bet the majority dont think its ok. Speaks volumes really.

 

[ShanandBoc]

In addition I could probably find you just as many, and likely more studies that suggest that porn is just fine and normal ( except addiction of, of course) .

Of course there is. Its a multi multi billions of dollars industry!!

It doesn't mean they are incorrect though?

Certainly makes their credibility highly questionable imo!!

 

[BigZai]

Agreed. Im not trying to change anyones views....But really how many people find open marriages normal and acceptable if its so un natural to be with one sexual partner? I bet the majority dont think its ok. Speaks volumes really.

I know i said i was not going to say anything else but i just had to.
The answer to your question is
Lots of people find open marriages acceptable they just dont tell everyone because their sex life is not anyones business. And the people who are open about it are often judged. I did not say the were the majority but there are many open marriages

 

[ShanandBoc]

There is a certain quote that comes to mind. How true it is. Why even get married? Maybe they get judged cause it is wrong? They are making it others business by having an open bed....what do they expect! So much for the sanctity of marriage.

 

[My_First]

There is a certain quote that comes to mind. How true it is. Why even get married? Maybe they get judged cause it is wrong? They are making it others business by having an open bed....what do they expect! So much for the sanctity of marriage.

I think, though, that marriage has to hold different definitions to different people. In many other cultures is acceptable to have many wives, sexual partners etc. and its not even blinked an eye at. Therefore, why should it not be acceptable, if people choose, within their marriage, to swing/partner swap, like S&M, like anal sex, like all sorts of weird and wonderful activities, (Within the realms of legality) some which may or may not include other people, some which others ,may or may not be want to participate in. I think its all about keeping an open mind AND discussing what works within YOUR personal marriage. Some people choose to abstain from any type of sex before they are married, I personally think this is an antiquated view of sex, BUT each to their own, and if it works for them, then who am I to judge.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Again, in this day and age, must we as a society be so judgmental and biased? Just because you thinks it's wrong doesn't mean everyone thinks it's wrong. I think bigotry is much more ugly than pornography.

 

[ShanandBoc]

There is a certain quote that comes to mind. How true it is. Why even get married? Maybe they get judged cause it is wrong? They are making it others business by having an open bed....what do they expect! So much for the sanctity of marriage.

 

[ShanandBoc]

In addition I could probably find you just as many, and likely more studies that suggest that porn is just fine and normal ( except addiction of, of course) .

Of course there is. Its a multi multi billions of dollars industry!!

It doesn't mean they are incorrect though?

Certainly makes their credibility highly questionable imo!!

 

[Ozzieshunni]

So are you saying people that watch porn or go to strip clubs shouldn't get married? Cause that's the vibe I'm getting. Next, we'll be saying homosexual people or transgender people shouldn't get married