strip clubs and porn

[TennisGal]

At the end of the day (I hate that phrase! ) it really is no one else's concern what happens in someone else's marriage. As long as it doesn't harm anyone, why should we be bothered? We all marry, or don't, for our own personal reasons. We married in a church, the vows we took mean things to us. But it's different strokes for different folks. I don't, personally, agree with swinging...but I really don't care if someone else wants to. That's their issue. As long as I am happy with my life, my marriage and my morals...that's all that matters, surely?

My main issue on this thread is the generalisation of men. If we don't generalise marriages and relationships, why should we generalise men? I don't put my husband in the 'lives off visualising'...'wants to see porn'...'wants to go to a strip club' category. We know each other inside out, and one of the many reasons we married is because our ideals and morals are on the same page. He's not as basic as these sweeping generalisations! And we are open with each other, not furtively hiding some secret viewing thing!

 

[My_First]

And I think you are absolutly right, but when the morals are as clearly not matched, such as the OPs original concerns, by having varying opinions gives some information for her to consider.

 

[ShanandBoc]

As soon as u say u think something is wrong you are a bigot? Or being judgemental? Its ridiculous. If Anything goes in ur opinion when it comes to morals doesnt mean others feel the same! We all have a right to an opinion I dont think i have anything else to add to this thread so have a nice evening ladies

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I was making a general statement about how people judge in general. We have so much more going on in this world. Who cares what other people do in their marriage?

Shan, I still bet you money your DH has thought about another woman at least ONCE during sex

 

[ShanandBoc]

Why is this thread double posting my posts!!!

 

[vaniilla]

as I'm sure many have already have said what is right and wrong is defined by what you consider it to be, when you marry someone or get into a relationship you set ground rules and standards whether by vows or by mutual understanding, if you have made it clear before that you are strongly opposed to porn/strip clubs and he agreed with you then he has some answering to do about why he has changed his mind.

Whatever the norm is for other people is irrelevant, you are in a relationship with your partner not the rest of the world and it's only each other that you should have to answer to. I don't like porn or strip clubs because of my own views on sex and relationships not because of what society thinks is acceptable or not, and those views shouldn't affect anyone apart from dh.

 

[marilou]

Shan, I still bet you money your DH has thought about another woman at least ONCE during sex

My god you have some nerve saying that? How can you possibly think it is alright to say that to someone? Just because YOU are fine with your OH gawping at other women it doesnt mean we all are! Im going to stop, youve really touched a nerve and I truely hope you apologise...

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Shan, I still bet you money your DH has thought about another woman at least ONCE during sex

My god you have some nerve saying that? How can you possibly think it is alright to say that to someone? Just because YOU are fine with your OH gawping at other women it doesnt mean we all are! Im going to stop, youve really touched a nerve and I truely hope you apologise...

It's probably true. I'm sure yours has as well. It's human nature. Nothing against the person they are with.

 

[marilou]

It's probably true. I'm sure yours has as well. It's human nature. Nothing against the person they are with.

Ha, I cant believe you would actually bring me into it this time.. its pretty disgusting how you can be so judgemental about other peoples partners... Half of this thread has been about generalising men.. and I thought it concluded that infact.. shocker coming... not all men are the same?

Maybe you should listen, because this is the last time I will reply to this...

Not all men watch porn
Not all men go to strip clubs
Not all men cheat
Not all men lie

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Then why are you jumping on me? I have an opinion, just like you.

 

[Ozzieshunni]

And with that, I leave this thread

 

[TennisGal]

I think it's about respecting people. I don't think it needs to get down to personal comments about others husbands and what goes on in a marriage...it's just a bit presumptuous and can cause hurt.

Let's all just see that we view marriage, relationships etc differently...but as long as we are in tune with our partners, what does it matter?

We are all different...as are men...so generalising on these topics is just a bit pointless and guaranteed to rile!

 

[jenniferttc1]

I don't think its right to say all men are the same. They are not and its not fair to say they are. Are all of us women the same? I think this thread proves that we are not.
But nobody should bash the other lady for thinking porns okay, and nobody should be bashed for not liking it. Its just a personal preference.
Before haiden porn would have really hurt me, after having him I have some kind of confidence I can't explain. As far as I know my husband does not watch porn. I would not know where he would get the time to lol. Im the only one that watches tv or use the computer and he works in big piles of dirt and gravel 80 hours a week.
Might hurt my feelings if he watched porn with girls that were opposite of me
I don't like porn, but its nothing to ruin my marriage if I caught him doing (unless he was addict and it ruined the marriage) I don't like strip clubs though, he can throw those dollars at me The way I look at it, I would much prefer him to choose me, maybe take me out to dinner and have a nice night together than wasting money supporting a stripper. Or him be home with me and his baby....I couldnt imagine him wanting to be anywhere else TBH.
But no I don't think men or women are all the same. We are all just to different.
I would also prefer he did not watch porn either. I don't do those kinky things he wants to have him watching someone else. hehe.

 

[BigZai]

I think this thread has run its course

 

[morri]

I have been to a strip club, and it really isnt any special. The girls in there are just doing their jobs. (I have been there with my oh and another couple) Also I don't mind watching straight porn, although I prefer gay porn xD

 

[sweetpea01]

I wonder if it's an age thing or something. In my husbands 20's I would say he was into porn because it was something taboo. Now that he has seen it it seriously just bores him. He thinks someone else showing their bits in front of him that is not me sort of grosses him out as well. When I have mentioned it to him in the past he just says yuck as far as strip clubs go. No telling how many men have gotten their jolly off in that chair your sitting in! yuck! Each to his own though. I wouldn't judge anyone that went there or worked in one.

 

[smokey]

within reason and as long as its not a obsession I dont see the harm with porn and strip clubs.
I paid for hubby to go to a strip club years ago for his mtes stag do and had to laugh when he came home early looking realy guilty because someon paid for him to have a lap dance, poor hubby didnt know where to look
As for porn hubby doesnt look at it much, I probably look at more then he does and once in a blue moon we will watch it together but we never get to see the end of it

 

[lucy_x]

I can honestly say it really wouldn't bother me, either of them.

I enjoy looking at other men as much as my OH enjoys looking at other women, I trust him implicitly and our relationship is very strong.

Oh also, for the record - I have OFTEN thought of other men whilst with my OH....We also watch porn together and i wouldn't mind him going to a strip club if he wanted to, perhaps not every weekend because that would be really expensive! haha.

 

[Raven24]

Hubby has been to a couple of strip clubs but it was before we met and i wouldnt like it if he went now, if he want to watch a woman undress in front of him ill do it.
Porn i have no problem with we both watch it seperatly and we dont allways have time or energy for sex so if it relieves a bit of tension then not a problem

 

[AP]

it would bother me, however each to their own and what is acceptable in one relationship may not be in another. As long as its not upsetting anyone then off ya go

However...Id go myself