Struggling to move on

[Ziggy2]

I have 2 lovely daughters aged 5 and nearly 2 but have always imagined having 3. I think I will always think about that third child we are not going to have, how do I help myself to move on, will it be better once my littliest is no longer in the baby stage?

We have been back and forth on this since littliest was born, but ultimately life would be very tight with 3 we can afford to go abroad with 2 and do the fun things as they are growing up, 3 would make it difficult - how do I accept that this has to be a head decision and not a heart one and move on?

 

[lilesMom]

I don't hve any magic tips I'm afraid
But I suppose try to keep in ur head why u made the decision in the first olace
And hopefully it gets easier in time
I'm wondering if my family should be complete with one now.
I've one little boy who is 2.5
He is great
But had cp, epilepsy and possible autism
So it is tough at times.
I've had 2 miscarriages this year
They make me much less good a mom while I'm going through them
I'm wondering if its fair on my Lil dude and us to keep trying
Or should we be grateful for our tiny beloved ��
Our situations are different
But head vs heart is the same
I'm wondering if there is ever a time u feel done
Until possibly after menopause.
How much of a role do hormones play in it.
Sorry I'm rambling now.
Hope u feel better about ur decision xxx

 

[lilesMom]

I'm not making my forever decision on it just yet
But I'm leaning towards just staying gratefull for one.
But I'm very liable to change my mind at some stage. ��

 

[lau86]

I'm struggling too, my youngest is a newborn so I'm hoping its hormone related. I'm hardly getting any sleep with her but she is so adorable I can't imagine not having any more. No. 3 was a compromise for hubby and I said all the way through the pregnancy that's enough I'm done and I genuinely wanted it to be the case. I'm going to get some long time contraception such as a coil and try and put it out of my mind for a few years whilst I see how I go with the 3 I have. it's hard isn't it

 

[hayz_baby]

Congrats lau xx

 

[lau86]

Congrats lau xx

Thanks hayz x

 

[5Miracles]

I have two wonderful children--a son who is 8 and a daughter who is 6...and I still feel like there is a missing child in our family. I lost #3 at 11 weeks--& I focused on being positive about what/who I have...but to be honest, I still feel a hole. Even with the gap in ages, I feel we would do a-ok with a infant now--in fact, my kids keep begging my DH and I to have another one...what they don't know is we have been trying. I don't know how to 'move on', and I never share my feelings with anyone (but here) because I cannot handle comments, even well meaning ones, and I don't want to come off as not grateful for the 2 I already have, because I am

You're not alone in this...just thought I'd share...

 

[lusterleaf]

You are not alone. I have two now- an almost 4 year old son and almost 1 year old girl but now that my daughter is starting to outgrow the infant stuff it makes me sad. But we cannot have another due to a few reasons- my DS is special needs, and financially we are just barely making ends meet, so I guess I must make peace with this decision. I know it's hard though!

 

[kmbabycrazy]

I know how you feel. I come from a big and very close family so I always imagine having one of my own, and I always wanted four children. My husband agreed and I was very happy about that, but after we had our daughter he changed his mind and doesn't want anymore. I was 21 when she was born and I wasn't prepared for it to be my last or to be finished having children so young. I struggle but I know that I can't pressure him into something he doesn't want.

For the past few years it's been easy to deal with as I was at university so having another was the furthest from my mind, but now I'm finished it's all I can think about. I find myself crying about it but I don't tell my husband because he gets annoyed talking about it and I don't want him to think i'm trying to pressure him.

I'm just trying to take it one day at a time for a moment and think of the positives, such as still being quite young when the children are old enough to look after themselves and no more changing smelly nappies etc, as well as trying to save to buy our own home, when we'll get a dog which I'm certain I will treat like my baby haha