Struggling with female factor infertility

[Christi85]

Hi everyone,

I just signed up today, but have been following this forum for a while now. A little background: I'm 29, husband is 30 and we have been unsuccessfully trying to conceive since early 2013. We started seeing an RE this past February and have had all sorts of tests done. The good news: my husband's SA came out very good. Also, my HSG showed fully patent tubes on both sides. Now on to the bad news:
-Both my AFC and my AMH were very low for my age. AFC was 9 or 10 follicles total, and AMH was 0.96. A big shock! My FSH is still normal though.
-I've had luteal phase spotting for a very long time, but doctors would always poo-poo it. Now it turns out it's low progesterone, probably due to insufficient hormone production at ovulation. My progesterone at mid-luteal was only 6.9
-I also have a history of ovarian cysts and endometrial polyps. Had a polyp removed via hysteroscopy in Sept. 2013, and will be having a laparoscopy to remove an ovarian cyst (RE thinks either an endometrioma or a dermoid) in the coming weeks. She will also check for and clean any endo during the laparoscopy.

Hubby and I had a meeting with the RE earlier this week to review all our tests (since the only thing we're missing is the lap results). She basically said that, if no endo is found during the laparoscopy, or if it is mild, I have a choice between IUI and IVF. If endo is found and is extensive, then IVF would be our only option with a decent chance of success. She feels I need to start treatment soon-ish despite my rather young age, given that I haven't conceived in over a year and due to my low AMH signifying I'm losing my fertility sooner than most women . She gave us just a 1-3% chance of conceiving on our own. That was another blow

Unfortunately, as with many people dealing with infertility, our problems don't just stop here: we have no infertility coverage whatsoever, less the laparoscopy that will be covered because it's considered a gyn medical problem due to my ovarian cyst - phew! But we've already paid more than $2K out of pocket for the testing alone. We could stretch to do one round of IVF, but more than that wouldn't be doable financially. And my RE was talking as if I may be needing 2-3 rounds to be successful (given that I will probably be producing less eggs than normal due to low AMH and AFC). Also, because of religious considerations, we'd rather not produce any excess embryos due to the dilemmas involved with that. My RE suggested freezing eggs and fertilizing as needed- if needed - for subsequent transfers, which is an acceptable alternative to freezing embryos, but like I said above, there's no money for more than one IVF rounds anyway. Unless we paid to freeze eggs for 2-3 years hoping to have enough saved up for another transfer then, I don't see a point in freezing them. Not to mention the fee for freezing eggs would be in addition to the IVF on an already stretched budget. AND the RE would very much recommend we do genetic testing to embryos because she feels my lower number of eggs would increase chances of some of them being abnormal/not producing healthy or even viable embryos. That in itself is another $5.5K on top of everything else which we can't pay. So that leaves us with trying a few rounds of IUI (if my lap outlook is favorable) which is at least going to be cheaper, or - if my lap is bad - trying on our own with the gloomy 1-3% chance of ever conceiving a biological child.

I won't even go into what my feelings are. Most of you know exactly how this feels - the ups and downs, and highs and lows, and the smallest things triggering emotions just as you're thinking that you have this under control and are starting to feel a little optimistic. Especially those of you who have been given bad news as to your chances of successfully conceiving can feel me, I'm sure. This is partly a venting thread and partly an invitation to share similar experiences, thoughts, maybe even success stories etc.

Thank you for reading!

 

[Coolstar]

I totally feel you. I have endo and my amh is very low .9 . I have gone through one round of ivf and it failed. Due to my low amh (I am 32) doc is suggesting me donor egg. My dh is perfectly fine and I feel really bad for him. Hope you don't have endo. Sending you lots of luck.

 

[Christi85]

Thank you Coolstar. I too hope I don't have endo (my laparoscopy has now been scheduled for mid May, so I should know soon). I'm very depressed with my rock bottom AMH as it is - I was prepared for a lot of possible problems, but diminished ovarian reserve at such a young age never crossed my mind
Are you considering donor eggs? Also, I see in your signature that you did 3 Clomid rounds: did stim with Clomid work for you? My doctor seems to think that, if I don't have endo (or if it's mild) my response to just Clomid for IUI should be fine, as we only need 2-3 eggs for IUI.
Also, how was your response to the IVF stim? Apologies for the multiple questions.
All the best to you too!

 

[Coolstar]

Thank you Coolstar. I too hope I don't have endo (my laparoscopy has now been scheduled for mid May, so I should know soon). I'm very depressed with my rock bottom AMH as it is - I was prepared for a lot of possible problems, but diminished ovarian reserve at such a young age never crossed my mind
Are you considering donor eggs? Also, I see in your signature that you did 3 Clomid rounds: did stim with Clomid work for you? My doctor seems to think that, if I don't have endo (or if it's mild) my response to just Clomid for IUI should be fine, as we only need 2-3 eggs for IUI.
Also, how was your response to the IVF stim? Apologies for the multiple questions.
All the best to you too!

I know what you are going through , last few days I am so depressed and I just keep on crying . How much is your amh ? But there are many ladies who got bfp with low amh. Clomid did not work for me in fact it harmed me more. I did not respond well during the ivf. Just 3 eggs retrieved and 2 fertilized. My endo has reduced a lot and my simple cyst is gone which is a good thing but because of my low amh they are telling me about donor. More then the endo it is the low amh which is an issue for me. At present my doc told me to take 3 months of suppression injection and then she will give me some stimulating meds for 3 months and try naturally. I have to pray for a miracle for something to happen, if nothing I am planning to go for a ivf cycle next year. It's very difficult to let go of your biological link . I have not decided what to do. Will take a decision end of the year.

 

[Christi85]

Thank you Coolstar. I too hope I don't have endo (my laparoscopy has now been scheduled for mid May, so I should know soon). I'm very depressed with my rock bottom AMH as it is - I was prepared for a lot of possible problems, but diminished ovarian reserve at such a young age never crossed my mind
Are you considering donor eggs? Also, I see in your signature that you did 3 Clomid rounds: did stim with Clomid work for you? My doctor seems to think that, if I don't have endo (or if it's mild) my response to just Clomid for IUI should be fine, as we only need 2-3 eggs for IUI.
Also, how was your response to the IVF stim? Apologies for the multiple questions.
All the best to you too!

I know what you are going through , last few days I am so depressed and I just keep on crying . How much is your amh ? But there are many ladies who got bfp with low amh. Clomid did not work for me in fact it harmed me more. I did not respond well during the ivf. Just 3 eggs retrieved and 2 fertilized. My endo has reduced a lot and my simple cyst is gone which is a good thing but because of my low amh they are telling me about donor. More then the endo it is the low amh which is an issue for me. At present my doc told me to take 3 months of suppression injection and then she will give me some stimulating meds for 3 months and try naturally. I have to pray for a miracle for something to happen, if nothing I am planning to go for a ivf cycle next year. It's very difficult to let go of your biological link . I have not decided what to do. Will take a decision end of the year.

My AMH was 0.96 last month when I tested - very low for age 29. It's great that your endo is getting better though, and so is your cyst I know Clomid doesn't work well for many women - interestingly, my doctor seems to think Clomid may work for me in conjunction with IUI, as we only need 2-3 eggs to mature (my follicle count was 10 total on that same cycle where we tested my AMH) and my FSH is still at good, low levels. I know exactly how you feel. We certainly don't have the money for IVF now, which is why I'm praying we are able to do IUI and that it works within 2-3 rounds (after that, the savings budget may start to stretch). If not, we'll have to save up for IVF and that could take a good couple of years. By which point, my egg reserves will have tanked probably, so might as well start thinking about donor eggs too (and saving up even more ). I don't want to think about it - too many dilemmas involved. It's so unfair - I feel like we've been ripped of something that was supposed to be so natural. But we have to hang in there and persevere, and we will get there in the end one way or another

 

[Hatethewait85]

Hi ladies,
Just wanted to send and wish you both a successful 2014!

While I'm technically diagnosed as unexplained, my doc thinks I have an egg quality issue given my response to IVF. This is really hard to swallow as I too am young (28) and actually had a great AMH (4). It sucks that there's no good test for quality other than looking at them under the microscope (which I failed) but even that can vary based on month and protocol. My doc suggested a different protocol if we want to try another round of IVF but of course could give no guarantee it would or wouldn't work But she said it could 'confirm' the poor egg quality diagnosis. 11k just to tell me I have bed eggs?! If the next IVF failed, she'd suggest DE for me too. It is really unfair that something that is supposed to be completely natural and easy has to be soo hard (and not to mention expensive!).

All this to say that I totally feel your frustrations. This completely sucks. The worst part is the unknown - should we or shouldn't we try XYZ? If I had a crystal ball that would show me it would eventually work, it would be soo much easier to handle! I have definitely shed A LOT of tears this week since finding out my FET failed. Why do our bodies have to betray us!?

Wishing you both the best

 

[Coolstar]

Hatethewait, I exactly know when you say the worst part is unknown . Wish I had a crystal ball which could tell me that can I conceive? Do I need a donor ? Sorry for your failed fet. A failed ivf/ fet is such a heartbreak and I am not even talking about the expense. I had a talk with my doc and she told me that with donor at least it will be 50% biological. With my egg the success with ivf is around 10% she said and with donor 50% to 60%. Life is so unfair. And at present I hate it so much. What are you planning to do next ?

Christi, I hope you don't have endo and move straight ahead with iui. I have seen one lady in another forum who has low amh and failed ivf but then she went ahead with iui and got bfp.I am happy that my simple cyst is gone and endo nearly gone. But they say endo can never be cured. So I am praying that my endo does not return soon .

 

[Christi85]

Hatethewait85: I'm so sorry to hear about your failed IVF. I can imagine the heartbreak is tremendous, and then it doesn't help that you're out several thousand $$. I'm sending you a big hug
It's very interesting that they can tell about egg quality by looking at them through the microscope. My doctor never mentioned that. She says that the ultimate test for egg quality is how many fertilize and progress to day 5 etc. Sounds like you had at least some that fertilized and made it to the transfer stage. There are products out there who claim to help with egg quality, like Ovaboost. I was actually thinking of giving them a shot, as well as looking into changing my diet (which is healthy already) to include foods that help with that. I don't know what my quality is, but my doc thinks it should be fine based on me being under 35. But since I have a very low quantity for my age, I figure I need at least the best possible egg quality I can have. Since all we need at the end of the day is one good egg that will stick

Coolstar - I know, I often wish for a crystal ball myself It would make things so much easier. Yes, endo can unfortunately grow back in most cases. But it's good that you're suppressing it. It also depends on how extensive it is and how severe - I hear mild or even moderate endo doesn't necessarily obstruct conception, even natural conception, if there's no other problem. If it's very extensive and/or very severe, they say the only chance for pregnancy is through IVF, but again you have relatively lower chances of success . I wish you best of luck!

 

[Ariannda]

In reality you only need one mature egg for IUI, more eggs generally mean lower quality. Thats the difference in the days associated with clomid,it works with LSH and earlier means more eggs but not necessarily AS mature, later means lower number but greater maturity (generally speaking).

We were diagnosed with secondary infertility and when they finally gave me an HSG i had two blocked tubes. We went to see a specialist who pretty much dismissed everything I had to say and just went "We dont like doing that (any procedure to possibly open tubes) when can we sign you up for IVF?" . We couldn't afford IVF, probably not even a single cycle. Its always frustrating

 

[Pirate]

I have DOR too (AMH: .53, FSH: 9.4, AFC: 5, Estradiol: 76). I'm 32. We also have no insurance coverage for fertility treatments (though luckily we did have coverage for infertility diagnosis). The recommended treatment for us was to do an injectible/IUI cycle just to see if I responded to those (predicted poor responder), then an IVF cycle IF I responded (again, predicted poor responder) to the injectibles, and then right on to donor eggs. IUI/IVF (donor eggs or my own) weren't something that we really even considered due to financial reasons but also due to the fact I don't want to put myself through the treatment and hubs isn't comfortable "interfering with nature" to that extent. We are going to try a couple of Clomid cycles within the next couple of cycles and then be comfortable knowing that we went as far as we were willing to go. There is a different right choice for every couple, and we're comfortable that we've chosen the right choice for us.

Our RE told us that it still completely possible for us to get pregnant without treatment and that he wouldn't be surprised if we called his office and requested betas sometime in the next couple of years. I'm not as hopeful as he is, but I'm the one dealing with it every day and I can't afford to get my hopes up too high. I sincerely hope that we all end up pregnant.

 

[Christi85]

Ariannda - yes, with blocked fallopian tubes they usually don't want to consider anything else other than IVF. But you are currently pregnant, right (based on status and picture of twin(???) ultrasound )? Do you mind sharing some info on how you succeeded? Did you end up doing IVF?

Pirate - I read your response and then I read the first post on your new journal. I can tell you that a lot of the things you bring up are things hubby and I are discussing or have discussed on an almost daily basis. I know exactly how you feel. There's totally a limit to how far every couple is willing to go, especially if you have to pay thousands upon thousands $$ out of pocket for a 30-40% chance at best.

As for me, ever since I received the DOR diagnosis I've been at a loss. Part of me is telling me that I shouldn't delay treatment, but then there's also this little voice in my head who is desperately trying to slow me down a bit, weigh any options I may have, not make rushed decisions (of course it will also depend on whether my lap in mid May shows endo or not). DOR felt like a death sentence, but in the past couple of days I've had times when I started feeling glimmers of hope again. Yes, I may have few follicles left in my ovaries, but all we need is one good one, right? So what if I try to balance my hormones through a healthier diet (it's already healthy but it could improve), natural progesterone cream (since I seem to produce low progesterone), and then a fair amount of positive thinking (hardest part) and possibly some acupuncture for good measure? Then if IUI ends up being an option for us, I could at least go into treatment with my health at the best possible levels, so that my chances of getting a sticky bean would be higher. Still unsure about IVF, but I feel I don't need to decide right now. So last night I went on and ordered Julia Indichova's two books: 'Inconceivable' and "Fertile Female' that seem to have raving reviews and start there (apparently she had secondary infertility, but at 42 with a 42(!!!) FSH, her ovaries were pretty much shut down and REs wouldn't even take her as a patient. So through a series of lifestyle changes and lots of positive thinking, she managed to drop her FSH down to normal levels and get pregnant again on her own about 8 months into the regimen, and went on to have a healthy baby). I felt I really need some kind of inspiration right now - someone to shake me by the shoulders and tell me that I can do this, and to stop being a Debbie Downer - I just need ONE good egg and my hormones to work the way they're supposed to! That, and I'm going to start looking into acupuncture. I will continue working with the RE too, and we'll see how that goes, but basically I'm trying to take this DOR diagnosis a little more lightly - sometimes successfully, some other times not so much. Heck, women with almost undetectable AMH get pregnant on their own!!

 

[Hatethewait85]

coolstar- A failed IVF cycle is so emotionally draining!! Did you have any frozen embryos after yours? I'm still having a hard time grasping that I may have bad quality eggs. What good is it to produce a lot of eggs if I can't find a good one!? Right now I'm delaying deciding what to do!! I think I'm going to just do acupuncture for a few months with herbs to prepare my body as best I can. I've been doing acupuncture for about 6 months and think I'm finally starting to make a teensy bit of progress. I'm also trying to get an appointment with a reproductive immunologist- filled out the paperwork today! At first I was really open to donor eggs but the more I read about donor-conceived kids the more I second guess it... I guess I just worry about how the kid will feel as they get older about not being with their genetic 'mom'

christi- Thanks. As for the 'microscope' test, I was really just referring to seeing how my eggs progressed through IVF. The more I read about other peoples IVF cycles the more it seems my progression wasn't that bad. I'm just not sure Thanks for sharing info about the ovaboost. I'll have to look into that. You are right - it only takes one good egg to make a baby! Which is what's making me think of trying again... I've got to have a good egg in there somewhere, right?! I'm only 28!! Here's hoping we all find our good quality egg this year.

Pirate- It sounds like you are taking a really practical approach. I've definitely seen a lot of 'miracles' on bnb and I hope you get to be one of them!

 

[Pirate]

Pirate - I read your response and then I read the first post on your new journal. I can tell you that a lot of the things you bring up are things hubby and I are discussing or have discussed on an almost daily basis. I know exactly how you feel. There's totally a limit to how far every couple is willing to go, especially if you have to pay thousands upon thousands $$ out of pocket for a 30-40% chance at best.

As for me, ever since I received the DOR diagnosis I've been at a loss. Part of me is telling me that I shouldn't delay treatment, but then there's also this little voice in my head who is desperately trying to slow me down a bit, weigh any options I may have, not make rushed decisions (of course it will also depend on whether my lap in mid May shows endo or not). DOR felt like a death sentence, but in the past couple of days I've had times when I started feeling glimmers of hope again. Yes, I may have few follicles left in my ovaries, but all we need is one good one, right? So what if I try to balance my hormones through a healthier diet (it's already healthy but it could improve), natural progesterone cream (since I seem to produce low progesterone), and then a fair amount of positive thinking (hardest part) and possibly some acupuncture for good measure? Then if IUI ends up being an option for us, I could at least go into treatment with my health at the best possible levels, so that my chances of getting a sticky bean would be higher. Still unsure about IVF, but I feel I don't need to decide right now. So last night I went on and ordered Julia Indichova's two books: 'Inconceivable' and "Fertile Female' that seem to have raving reviews and start there (apparently she had secondary infertility, but at 42 with a 42(!!!) FSH, her ovaries were pretty much shut down and REs wouldn't even take her as a patient. So through a series of lifestyle changes and lots of positive thinking, she managed to drop her FSH down to normal levels and get pregnant again on her own about 8 months into the regimen, and went on to have a healthy baby). I felt I really need some kind of inspiration right now - someone to shake me by the shoulders and tell me that I can do this, and to stop being a Debbie Downer - I just need ONE good egg and my hormones to work the way they're supposed to! That, and I'm going to start looking into acupuncture. I will continue working with the RE too, and we'll see how that goes, but basically I'm trying to take this DOR diagnosis a little more lightly - sometimes successfully, some other times not so much. Heck, women with almost undetectable AMH get pregnant on their own!!

Completely agree that there are limits for every couple, and there is a different right choice for every couple. The choice for us not to pursue IVF was made relatively quickly, and honestly it wouldn't change if we had insurance coverage and/or unlimited financial resources. It's completely natural to be a Debbie Downer. For the first couple of weeks after my diagnosis I walked around in a haze. I could barely function. I'm doing a bit better now, but I still have my days. It's completely possible for ladies like us to get pregnant. AMH is a quantitative measure of number of eggs left, but is not predictive of quality. We're both young so it's totally possible. Personally I'm not holding my breath though.

Pirate- It sounds like you are taking a really practical approach. I've definitely seen a lot of 'miracles' on bnb and I hope you get to be one of them!

We (hubs and me) are practical and logical, sometimes to a fault. I hope we all get our miracles!

 

[Christi85]

Pirate - I officially started following your journal. I'm intrigued to read more about your journey

Hatethewait85 - I've thought about donor egg kids too. But to me, that's not much different to adoption (which, btw, is a possibility we may look into in the future). Except with donor eggs, the child is only genetically linked to their egg donor, but their mom is the one who has actually carried them through pregnancy, provided nourishment through her own body, given birth to them, breastfed them from day 1 etc. so the bond is there right from the start. And they're genetically linked to their father. With adoption, while bonding is perfectly possible and happens in most cases, the child has no genetic or birth links with anyone in their adoptive family, which, in my book, makes it more likely that they may suffer some sort of an identity crisis later. With donor eggs, the child is born through and is raised by their birth parents. Either way, consulting with a specialist on the most age appropriate ways to bring these issues up with a donor egg/adopted child is a must, and maybe even an ongoing need over time. I'd be lying if I said I haven't been thinking about donor eggs lately. My husband is less warm than I am on the whole IVF/DE IVF idea, mainly because of the ethical dilemmas of possible unused embryos (which, if doing IVF with my own eggs, may not even be the case ). The way I see it, I could consider donating any excess embryos to other infertile couples, which is a bit freak-ish, but all other options make me much more uncomfortable. There's a few things I like about DE IVF versus regular IVF using my own eggs: 1)my ovarian challenges would stop being an issue, and the chances of success would be very high, as all that matters is the donor's age and healthy eggs, 2) that would eliminate the pressure I'm feeling to possibly proceed to treatment soon when we don't have the funds, just because my ovarian reserve may drop even lower at any point. Going with DE would at least allow us to save up for 2-3 years, even put some money in an investment program for a better return, and go in for the treatment when we were truly ready for it emotionally, and more comfortable financially, 3) this would also allow us to buy ourselves time to keep trying on our own with or without medication, or even try lower key/cheaper treatment if suitable (e.g. IUI), without any pressure. You never know - it could work 4) last but not least, I can't ignore the financial aspect of it. If I have to pay $12K or more for only a moderate chance of it working and a high chance we may need additional tries (which would increase the expense) because of my eggs - doctor said 8-10 eggs is the best I can hope for with maximum stim , and even then, not all may be mature enough , this makes me very nervous. What's even worse for me, because of my DOR, I'm never going to be approved for a refund program in case of an unsuccessful outcome. So we're footing the entire bill for a procedure with dubious results. With donor eggs though, not only is the chance of success much higher (there are clinics in the broader Southern California area where I live with over 70% pregnancy rates with donor eggs and over 60% live birth rates), but the criteria for a refund are much more lenient. So, even though it can cost up to $10K more than a regular IVF cycle (much less than that with frozen eggs), we shouldn't be needing more than 1-2 tries to be successful. Plus we'd be doing it at our own time when the funds were available. And in the off chance we still aren't successful, we can at least get a refund for most of the money, and use it to go off on a fancy exotic vacation to ease our pain
Obviously, I'm half joking, but you see what I mean. I'm still set on improving my lifestyle and diet for now and see if that makes any difference at all, so I'm looking forward to getting my books in the mail and starting a regimen. I still think there's a chance we may conceive on our own, and if my lap is clear of endo, I'm definitely giving IUI a couple tries - at least to say that I did try.

 

[Pirate]

Donor eggs are a great option for a lot of couples. My RE even said that donor eggs were the most efficient way to get from not pregnant to pregnant and that he's had great success in helping couples start families with donor eggs.

For hubs and I the decision not to pursue donor eggs was easy. We want a child to be genetically ours. Yes, I can be a mother to any child (biological ours, only genetically tied to my husband, adopted, etc.), but if I'm going to go through pregnancy, labor, childbirth, I want the child to be genetically mine. That may sound selfish, but it's my perspective. For the record I have no issues with donor egg IVF, couples that chose this route, etc. It's just not the right path for us.

DOR sucks!

 

[Christi85]

Donor eggs are a great option for a lot of couples. My RE even said that donor eggs were the most efficient way to get from not pregnant to pregnant and that he's had great success in helping couples start families with donor eggs.

For hubs and I the decision not to pursue donor eggs was easy. We want a child to be genetically ours. Yes, I can be a mother to any child (biological ours, only genetically tied to my husband, adopted, etc.), but if I'm going to go through pregnancy, labor, childbirth, I want the child to be genetically mine. That may sound selfish, but it's my perspective. For the record I have no issues with donor egg IVF, couples that chose this route, etc. It's just not the right path for us.

DOR sucks!

Yup, it sucks big time!

I don't think the way you're thinking is selfish. Again, it all comes down to our personal limits, priorities etc. Heck, I've been struggling with the thought that considering donor eggs as a future alternative is selfish vs. adoption that seems much more selfless. With adoption, life is already there (in birth mom's tummy or already out in the world) and usually needs a home because their birth parents can't/don't want to take care of them. Whereas with DE, you go into so much effort, even recruiting a donor and paying all this money to create life that wouldn't have existed otherwise. It's a thought that sometimes makes me feel bad about myself, almost guilty, but at the end of the day, we have to go with our gut and what our heart tells us. One thing that infertility has taught me was to not judge other people's reproductive decisions. And I think every woman who has been humbled by infertility has learned to be less critical of others' decisions. Usually people who are critical are those who never dealt with a similar situation themselves, and usually those least educated about the issue. I've yet to meet/talk to one person who has gone through infertility, woman or man, who doesn't 'get it'. That says a lot.

 

[Pirate]

You never truly know what you will or won't consider until you are put in the position of it being your best option. Hubs and I said we'd never even consider IVF and low and behold, when faced with that being probably the only way we will be able to get pregnant, we seriously considered it and weighed all of our options. I know that we made a decision that we'll be able to live with in 5, 10, 20 years.

 

[Hatethewait85]

You guys are soo right about not knowing what lengths you'd go through until you are forced to make that decision. I never imagined doing IVF and hear I am thinking about doing it AGAIN! I've definitely learned not to judge anyone in this situation. After seeing how many times I've changed my mind over the years, I know no one in these shoes takes any decision lightly. We are all doing what we think is best for us.

Christi- I agree about donor eggs not being much different than adoption and in the end you have to trust your gut. I even read a bit about epigenetics (how the mom carrying the child can influence what genes are expressed) and think it's totally cool. Donor eggs are really a good choice for a lot of people and can be very successful. I think my clinic gives 70-75% chance of success... although I was given 65% chance at first so I'm not sure what to think of that! I'm leaning towards adoption for now if my own eggs won't get me pregnant but I'm keeping DE IVF in my back pocket if the adoption road gets to bumpy- Like you said, my age becomes less important so I can wait awhile before I need to pursue that. That's cool about the refund, I don't think my clinic has that (or at least my fs didn't mention that when we talked about the process). When's your lap set up again? I hope things look good for an IUI to start- it'd be a good way to see how you respond to meds, too! I know someone who apparently had DOR (low AMH < 1) but ended up getting 40+ follicles when she stimmed for IVF!!!!! She ended up having a chemical but how crazy is that?!

Pirate- I agree with Christi. It's definitely not selfish to want a genetic link to anything you have to push out! It's natural instinct! Practical is a good thing to be in this situation. I have a hard time not letting my emotions get in the way of practical thinking when it comes to this. But normally, in non-ttc things I am very practical! So it's good that you and your husband are able to remain level-headed.

I met with my acupuncturist last night. I'm going to give herbs/acupuncture a good try for now. I figure since western medicine has failed me I might as well give TCM a good shot. She also suggested coq10 and magnesium supplements as possible egg quality enhancers so I'll probably order some of those to add to my prenatal. Herbs make me a bit nervous but I'm just going to try to have faith in the process. My acupuncturist mentioned having a number of couples fail IVF and ART who she's worked with for over a year with herbs/acupuncture and some of them conceive naturally (and others through ART). So it at least sounds promising... Have you guys ever done anything like that?

 

[Christi85]

You guys are soo right about not knowing what lengths you'd go through until you are forced to make that decision. I never imagined doing IVF and hear I am thinking about doing it AGAIN! I've definitely learned not to judge anyone in this situation. After seeing how many times I've changed my mind over the years, I know no one in these shoes takes any decision lightly. We are all doing what we think is best for us.

Christi- I agree about donor eggs not being much different than adoption and in the end you have to trust your gut. I even read a bit about epigenetics (how the mom carrying the child can influence what genes are expressed) and think it's totally cool. Donor eggs are really a good choice for a lot of people and can be very successful. I think my clinic gives 70-75% chance of success... although I was given 65% chance at first so I'm not sure what to think of that! I'm leaning towards adoption for now if my own eggs won't get me pregnant but I'm keeping DE IVF in my back pocket if the adoption road gets to bumpy- Like you said, my age becomes less important so I can wait awhile before I need to pursue that. That's cool about the refund, I don't think my clinic has that (or at least my fs didn't mention that when we talked about the process). When's your lap set up again? I hope things look good for an IUI to start- it'd be a good way to see how you respond to meds, too! I know someone who apparently had DOR (low AMH < 1) but ended up getting 40+ follicles when she stimmed for IVF!!!!! She ended up having a chemical but how crazy is that?!

Pirate- I agree with Christi. It's definitely not selfish to want a genetic link to anything you have to push out! It's natural instinct! Practical is a good thing to be in this situation. I have a hard time not letting my emotions get in the way of practical thinking when it comes to this. But normally, in non-ttc things I am very practical! So it's good that you and your husband are able to remain level-headed.

I met with my acupuncturist last night. I'm going to give herbs/acupuncture a good try for now. I figure since western medicine has failed me I might as well give TCM a good shot. She also suggested coq10 and magnesium supplements as possible egg quality enhancers so I'll probably order some of those to add to my prenatal. Herbs make me a bit nervous but I'm just going to try to have faith in the process. My acupuncturist mentioned having a number of couples fail IVF and ART who she's worked with for over a year with herbs/acupuncture and some of them conceive naturally (and others through ART). So it at least sounds promising... Have you guys ever done anything like that?

My lap was originally set for 5/16, then got pushed back for 5/22. Assistant surgeon not available on the 16th or something like that. Then I realized the 22nd is the Thursday before Memorial Day weekend and got annoyed that I may be spending my long weekend recovering instead of playing. But I decided against calling the clinic to reschedule it because I want it done asap, and rescheduling would likely mean having it even later.

I'd be very interested to hear about your progress with acupuncture and herbs, so keep us posted. Still waiting for my books, but I fully plan on going much more natural once I get them and following their advice. Acupuncture is also a real possibility for me, either by itself or combined with fertility treatments. Anything that could naturally help my hormones and the quality of my eggs. Just this morning I was reading about long term side effects of fertility drug over-use (even Clomid, I had no idea they don't let you take it for more than 6 cycles) and got a little scared. I so wish it was easy for us!

As for DE, I've been researching about it all week. I think if my eggs make it impossible (and I still don't even know if we'd be doing IVF), it will have to be either that or adoption. I'm also starting to lean heavily towards doing IVF abroad, if it comes down to that. Same with DE IVF if it comes down to that. I'm originally from Greece and my family is there. Even with the exchange rate, regular IVF there is less than 1/2 of what it costs here and DE IVF is at 1/3 of the cost, and fertility clinics are equally as good, with doctors usually trained in Europe and the US. I'd be stupid not to go down that route if we decide to go into the 'hard core' treatments. There is no refund provision there though, so you do take a higher risk.

 

[Christi85]

Oh yes, and how did I forget that?? Woman with DOR produced 40 eggs with stim????? I didn't even know that was possible
My doctor has been telling me I'll be having 8-10 eggs max, pretty much the number of follicles I had on my AFC (I had 9 or 10 on day 3, total on both ovaries) and that's assuming all will grow to maturity. I was reading recently that some women have a clinical image of DOR when that isn't actually the case. Simply put, their body is just too lazy to recruit enough follicles, but the follicles are there, just 'dormant'. So with stimulation, it is possible for some women to actually grow many more eggs than anticipated. Maybe that was your friend's case. Really interesting though - not something you hear every day