Struggling with weight gain (emotionally)

[jen1604]

Gaining some weight by 19 weeks is completely normal and encouraged. Look at it as a positive sign that baby is growing healthily

I know what you mean about letting go of the control as I have suffered with eating disorders and am seeing a consultant to make sure everything weight gain wise goes smoothly with this pregnancy If you can,get rid of the scales,make sure you're eating enough and the right things and I know its hard but try not to stress about it. x

 

[Enough]

I am 18 weeks and have gained 7 lbs so far. I think you SHOULD watch what you eat. Try to go for the most nutrition per calories. That would be beans, vegetables, grains and fruits.

 

[April2012]

okay, you have all inspired and encouraged me to try to relax and embrace my baby bump weight gain. i am attempting my first ever bump post.

 

[Maple Leaf]

April. You look great!!!!!!

It's a huge deal posting your first baby bump. Well done x

 

[Sew_Sweet]

I think you're doing just fine! Your weight gain doesn't sound at all to be over the recommended amount - not even close. It sounds as if you were very slim to start with so really you are expected to gain more. Baby is really in a BIG growth spurt right now so I am not surprised at the gain. It is all mostly baby and the other things that go along with it. You will be amazed at how quickly the weight will drop after pregnancy. I don't mean immediately after (though of course some does) - but I lost 30 pounds within 3 months without even trying with my first. You'll be just fine! Just keep doing what you're doing.

 

[jeanniepresto]

i was 110 pre pregnancy and now 144

 

[April2012]

ugh...i think i need to stop weighing myself entirely. today...up a pound since yesterday. seriously? i didn't eat 3500 calories yesterday (above and beyond maintenance calories) to gain a legitimate pound.

 

[alaskagrown]

It's sounds like you're obsessive about your weight, and it's unhealthy. You need to stop weighing yourself and stop counting calories, because it sounds like you're trying to micromanage everything about your body. The way at which you are obsessing is not good for either you or your baby.
I don't know your personal background, but from what you describe sounds like either eating disorder or borderline eating disorder behavior.

 

[DukesAngel]

It's sounds like you're obsessive about your weight, and it's unhealthy. You need to stop weighing yourself and stop counting calories, because it sounds like you're trying to micromanage everything about your body. The way at which you are obsessing is not good for either you or your baby.
I don't know your personal background, but from what you describe sounds like either eating disorder or borderline eating disorder behavior.

Agree. You HAVE to let your body do its thing with pregnancy. That doesn't mean eat 12 donuts in one sitting, but it does mean you have to throw micromanaging food out the window. I know I've seen your postings in the what have you ate today thread and in this one and it sounds like you are having a really hard time coping with the fact that you ARE going to GAIN weight with pregnancy.

I would suggest talking to your doctor or midwife about this. I wish the best with this pregnancy and am happy to see you felt confident enough to post pictures of your bump! My weight gain has just given me quite the love handles Hugs to you though and I do hope your pregnancy is a very happy and healthy one!

 

[Liesje]

My best friend made me feel better by telling me you'll lose about 30lbs in the first week after delivery (15lbs just the first day)... The rest is fluid and stuff. Apparently the more extra fat you have at birth, the easier it is to breastfeed, and breastfeeding burns tons of calories...
I'm obsessed with my weight too, but I've let it go for now for obvious reasons... Also, obesity is higher among "malnourished" fetuses, so I'm taking it for the team

 

[DukesAngel]

i weighed myself this morning, and i had gained weight since about a week ago. i believe it to be actual weight (not just normal female fluid/bowel fluctuations). I understand that weight gain is inevitable, but it is still difficult to see on the scale. i question if it is baby weight or just fat? i know i can see a very obvious bump when i get up in the morning (before, a bump just became visible in the evenings indicating it was bloat rather than bump). my clothes are getting snug. i thought initially i could get through month 6 in my regular clothes, but that doesn't look like that is going to be the case. nearly all of my clothes are very tailored skirts and dresses that leave little room for even bloated period days...let alone pregnancy.

so now in addition to struggling with the weight gain, i am soon to be without a wardrobe. what will i wear? i have such a difficult time with knowing what to wear.

Maternity clothes I was in em by 12 weeks since I bloated sooooo bad in the first trimester. I can only laugh at my old clothes and the majority are in the attic right now. Every pregnancy is different but starting my 6th month even the maternity clothes I have bought are starting to get snug.

You'll be fine hun! Can you talk to your OH about your concerns?

 

[1stOne]

I have struggled with the weight gain as well and am a little obsessive about the scale. I did not have morning sickness and I have gained 17 Ibs. already. I weigh every day or every other day and I have notice I'll gain a Ib. for really no reason and then it is gone in a couple of days. I also made unrealistic weight goals for myself and that is unhealthy. It is not okay to weigh almost 147 now and try not to get to 150 until Christmas. Your body and baby will tell you what they need. Some days you will need more calories than the day before and you should be more in tune with your body and baby than the scale.

I have chalked my weight gain up to this:

I don't exercise anymore and I am eating the same amount of calories as I did when I was exercising.
I was a little on the skinny side right before getting pregnant (5'9" 130) so I really needed about 5 Ibs. right away.
Reading about pregnancy weight gain, it looks like I am right on track.

There is a happy medium and we just need to find it. I didn't weigh this morning and I think I feel better mentally today.

 

[SouthernC]

Just relax hun. You've not gained that much weight you're doing just fine. I've gained 36 lbs already at 28 weeks, so I know how you feel though.

 

[April2012]

thank you, ladies. yes, i am obsessing. i know i need to gain weight. i just have been controlling my weight for so long...it is very strange to just let my body/baby take over. i am working on it! baby steps.

alaskagrown...yes, i have suffered from bulimia and anorexia for about ten years (after hospitalizations and residential treatment--I have recovered)...but recovery is a process, and pregnancy represents a new challenge. I will admit that I thought the weight gain would be easier (mentally) because, after all, i am nourishing another human being.

 

[alaskagrown]

thank you, ladies. yes, i am obsessing. i know i need to gain weight. i just have been controlling my weight for so long...it is very strange to just let my body/baby take over. i am working on it! baby steps.

alaskagrown...yes, i have suffered from bulimia and anorexia for about ten years (after hospitalizations and residential treatment--I have recovered)...but recovery is a process, and pregnancy represents a new challenge. I will admit that I thought the weight gain would be easier (mentally) because, after all, i am nourishing another human being.

I suffered for 7 years, in and out of residential treatment twice. It's easy to recognize for me (and I'm sure you too) when someone struggles with eating disorder behaviors

So as long as you recognize it, that's really good. I would seriously worry about you if you were in denial with eating disorder behaviors while pregnant.

Try seeking an outpatient therapist who specializes in the matter, especially if those resources are available in your area!

 

[1stOne]

My best friend made me feel better by telling me you'll lose about 30lbs in the first week after delivery (15lbs just the first day)...

Your best friend sounds extremely lucky as I don't think this is normal and to be expected! I am just hoping to lose 10-15 Ibs. in the first month after the baby is born.

 

[Liesje]

My best friend made me feel better by telling me you'll lose about 30lbs in the first week after delivery (15lbs just the first day)...

Your best friend sounds extremely lucky as I don't think this is normal and to be expected! I am just hoping to lose 10-15 Ibs. in the first month after the baby is born.

Unless you're expecting a 3lb baby, that should be easy enough in the first day
All of the fluid weight that you lose aren't just the amniotic fluids, you also have 50% more blood when you're pregnant, lazy intestines, kidneys functioning differently, etc... after delivery, your body starts to drain itself on its own.

 

[LilianA]

My best friend made me feel better by telling me you'll lose about 30lbs in the first week after delivery (15lbs just the first day)...

Your best friend sounds extremely lucky as I don't think this is normal and to be expected! I am just hoping to lose 10-15 Ibs. in the first month after the baby is born.

first time around I was retaining lots of water I did actually lose 30 lbs of baby weight and water and stuff other than fat..I was left with lots of fat though lol
second time around I didn't retain much water (normal amount) and controlled my weight a little bit better than first time and actually lost 18 lbs of baby weight and stuff..but both times it wasn't over night it was more like the first two weeks every day about 2 lbs then it would stop completely and that when I know Im left with what I need to work on.

 

[Lyns06]

Hey April,

I just wanted to tell you that you're not alone with your struggle. I'm actually on my second pregnancy and having a harder time than with my first.

I would really suggest you seek out a counselor now before the baby arrives and life becomes wonderful.. but also more stressful. If you're like me (recovering.. suffering.. recovering from E.D.s) then stress is a definite trigger for your obsessions.

I did fine with the weight gain my first time around. I gained 16lbs and within the first 4 months, lost 26. The roller-coaster ride of up 16 and down 26 triggered me and I've struggled more since loosing an extra ten pounds than I did before. I wish I would have sought out help when I was pregnant.

Now, I'm pregnant with number 2 and struggling worse than ever. My baby's showing sooner and my body is not hiding the bump as well. It's so hard. I'm seeking help, though. However, like you, I can't stop worrying about my weight gain.

I can't wait until I can have this baby and be slim again. I'm almost 16 weeks along and am probably the same size I was at 19 weeks last time. It's really hard.. I understand.

I hope you're doing well and if you are in an area that celebrates Thanksgiving that the meal went well for you. If you ever need anyone to talk with, for support, feel free to even private message me. I am on this forum to try to let go of these obsessions and just have a healthy baby!!

Hang in there sweetie!

 

[bananaz]

I can absolutely understand what you're feeling. I spent several years struggling with disordered eating and I thought I had put it behind me but since becoming pregnant those old familiar feelings have started to creep back.

For most people EDs are a coping mechanism to give us the illusion of being in total control of ourselves, so it's not surprising that they would flare when our bodies and our lives are suddenly being controlled by something else.

I agree with the suggestions that have been made about seeking therapy and also about putting the scale away. Weighing every day or even every other day is not going to provide any useful information, as I'm sure you know.

Something I've done that I've found to be useful is setting nutrient goals for myself instead of calorie goals. I've been in the habit of obsessing over food numbers for so many years that just stopping altogether wasn't going to happen, but at least this way I am starting to think about what I put in my body as a potential source of nourishment instead of just a potential source of fat.

It's great that you're aware of the issue and are trying to be proactive about tackling it. Hang in there!